Any suggestions on how to break my 10 month old on using me as a pacifier at night? At bedtime he falls asleep nursing. Hes been waking up ALOT at night wanting to nurse but usually for only very little. Ive tried a pacifier and he refuses it, has never taken one. Also Ive tried a bottle of water and bottle of breastmilk. The bottle of breastmilk worked once, now he throws it and cries until I pick him up. Also, his crib is in our bedroom. When would be a good time to move him in with his 3 yr old brother? I was thinking about waiting until he is ready to go into a big boy bed but im starting to really want him out of my room sooner than later. My 3 yr old starts preschool in the fall so i dont want my 10 month old to disrupt his sleep too.
Is he teething?
Are you still producing enough milk?
If not, maybe that is why he doesn't stay on long enough and then wakes often. He is still hungry.
I would not put him in with his older sibling.
He will be starting school and will NEED the rest at night and to get a good sleep.
I read lots of books that said you shouldn't let your baby fall asleep nursing. Those books are collecting dust right now. When my daughter needs to nurse in order to get comfort and fall asleep, so be it. She is a tiny little baby! If you can manage, I'd keep doing what you're doing. He won't do this forever.
I, too, let mine wean when they want. Part of that was/is letting them nurse for comfort as well as nutrition. I don't mind, myself, because I love the time I get to spend, just me and my baby. The "human pacifier" stage doesn't last forever, so if you want to wait it out, you can.
If you want to start weaning him from using you for comfort, then I would suggest gradually decreasing. If he normally nurses for 20 minutes at night, make it 18. Then wait a couple days and make it 16. Then 14.
I realize he's nursing until he goes to sleep, but nurse him JUST until he's almost asleep and then take away the breast. He WILL startle awake sometimes and you will lose sleep for quite a bit of time. Eventually he'll get the hint though.
I allowed my daughter to choose when she was ready to wean - which was 4.5 y/o. I'd say I was a human pacificer from the age of 7 months until about 16 months. Definitely something I was able to handle - and I co-slept so her feeding during the night never fully woke either of us and we got quite enough of sleep.
If you can handle the snuggling and lovey situation for awhile longer - I'd let it go. You will never get this time or this amount of love and need from your child again.
The problem is that he falls asleep nursing. I once read that you shouldn't let the baby "sleep nurse" because it creates a habit of the baby needing the boob in the mouth whenever they fall in and out of sleep. I've always tried to stop nursing once the baby is no longer awake.
Ideally, you want to baby to be able to soothe itself to sleep without needing the oral comfort. My suggestion is to stop letting him "sleep nurse". Start nursing, but if he falls asleep then pull the breast out of his mouth. It might take a few weeks to retrain him not to need a boobie in order to fall asleep, but you have to be consistent. I'm not saying you should limit his nursing, but he should nurse when awake or right before sleep--but no more extended nursing while asleep.
As for moving him to a different room, my two cents is that it will be harder and harder to get him to sleep in his own room the older he gets. I suggest you do it soon, because he'll hit a separation anxiety phase again, and it will be more difficult to get him to feel comfortable without you right there as he passes the age of 12 months.
And don't focus on whether the crying will wake the other up. It's amazing what kids can sleep through. However, you will have to be responsive whenever the baby cries to make sure there isn't extended crying. But little bits here and there shouldn't be too disruptive. You can always get the kids to bed earlier in case some crying occurs; at least with an earlier bedtime, your older son can make up for any missed sleep.
Have you checked out the book "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley? It's got a lot of ideas to help with that so that you can try the ones that you think might work for you. Also, there are a lot of options, it might bother you less if you had a side-car crib or co-slept so you weren't getting out of bed. I always nursed my babies to sleep as long as they needed it, (I have 3, the third is still nursing to sleep most nights), and the first two certainly eventually stopped, there are as many ways to deal with it or change it as there are families, but books help and thinking outside the box helps. He may really be hungry!
K.
My little girl breastfed until 12mths, when I started weaning her. At 11mths I started wearing 2 layers to bed and would only allow her to nurse just before bed and then in the morning around 6 or 7 when she woke. She did still wake during the night, but each night got a little better and she would go back to sleep without nursing. There was some unhappy crying, but she was in my arms or my husbands arms until she calmed down, then she would be layed down and eased off to sleep with Mommy or Daddy's hand layed on her for comfort. Now, at 13mths, she still wakes, but a whole lot less than before, and she goes down much easier. We no longer hold her and rock, as we both know she understands bedtime and nap time. Neither of us were CIO fans, so we didn't rush the sleep situation and I can say, it truly does get better with time. Our little girl has been in a toddler bed since 11mths, but we felt comfortable with her strength and mobility to do so. I've seen babies at 11mths that would not work well in a toddler bed, so it is a judgment decision that only you can make. Try not to rush the night weaning or the lessening of night time nursing, it is much less traumatic for both you and baby. I say traumatic because the frequent crying in the night is h*** o* you as a Mommy, it breaks your heart, but remember, if you are there with your little one and providing comfort, you are doing the right thing. Read your little ones demeanor during the day. If there is any negative change, slow the process down. My little girl was 2 weeks past her 1st birthday when I weaned her completely and she did great with a slower weaning process. Wish you well. :)
I started trying to rock my twins back to sleep around five months instead of nursing at night. They began sleeping through right around three months, so I knew they didn't need the nutrition. Believe me, there were some rough nights, and some nights I opted to have one sleep on my chest in the recliner. But, I was so glad I did it since they didn't wake up to nurse much more after that. Once he is consistently sleeping through the night is when you should move him in with his brother. Otherwise you'll have two kids awake.
