Breastfeeding-Infant Turning Away

My daughter started doing this around 5 months. I gave up and pumped exclusively for about another 3 months. It was a serious time commitment but both of us were happier.

My daughter (now almost 9 months) has been interested in other things for the past 2 months or so. Sometimes she is into breastfeeding and sometimes not. I supplement with a bottle (of pumped milk, but I just started some formula) when she doesn't seem interested in breastfeeding. This works well. Good luck.

What you are doing by nursing in a quiet room is a great start. You may want to try slipping your finger into your baby's mouth to remove your nipple when you sense it might happen again, and each time she does this, if you pull your breast away, she'll learn that it's not okay to use her new teeth on your breast. Also, gently tapping her cheek with your finger when she does it can also help her to learn it's not okay to bite. This helped me a good deal. The other thing that helped was for me to make a slight cry when my daughter was going through this stage, and that signaled to her that she was hurting me, and this is eventually what helped her to stop. We worked through this stage and my daughter happily nursed for a total of 26 months. You can make it through this, and your daughter will thank you for it.

Hi M.,
Maybe you could try humming or rocking while nursing. Just something to keep your baby calm and engaged with you. This worked well with one of my daughters. The other daughter got upset if I made any sound but liked the rocking and I would hold her little hand.
Hope you find something that works. Take care,
B.

M.,

You have gotten some great responses. A nursing necklace can be a good distraction. You are doing well by feeding her in a dark, quiet place. Sometimes, having music or white noise going in the background may be more helpful than quiet. You might be able to put a little playtime into nursing time to keep her attention. My first really liked tickling games, but my second was too distracted by them. Telling her a story or singing a song may help keep her attention on you.

Taking a break from nursing is a good way to teach baby not to bite. Firmly say "Ouch! No bite." break the suction and take her off. If she continues to bite, place her on the floor, repeating "Ouch. No bite." Don't make her wait too long to nurse, and if she does loose interest and wander off, be sure to offer to nurse again in a little while. Be very cautious about screaming at her, even though it hurts. It may work for her, but for many moms it backfires. It scares their baby so much that baby refuses to nurse, going on a "nursing strike" which may end in mom offering bottles and ending the nursing relationship prematurely.

You daughter MAY be testing you, but not necessarily, so don't feel like you need to "teach her a lesson." This is a normal phase to go through around 6-8 months. Both of my daughters did it, and we got past it just fine and continued to breastfeed. It is NOT sign that your daughter is ready to wean, any more than refusing to interupt playtime to go to the bathroom means a toddler doesn't need to pee anymore! It just means that she is interested in the world around her, and nursing is less exciting than most everything else. Children really need to breastfeed for a minimum of a year, so if you can go at least that long, you will be giving your daughter a great headstart on life.

We have some wonderful LLL leaders in this area. I have been involved with our local LLL group since my first daughter was born over 3 years ago. We did just have our monthly meeting; however, a leader is always available to talk to you. You can reach a leader at ###-###-####. The website is http://llloffc.org/ Regular meetings are the 3rd Wednesday of each month, at the First Baptist Church of Ft Collins at 900 E Prospect.

You are doing such an awesome thing for your daughter by not giving up on breastfeeding. I've been there, and this stage DOES END!! I promise!! You can get through this if you don't give up.

Best of luck,
S.

Hi M.,
when my kids would do the same yours is I would wear long beaded necklaces while they nursed for them to hold and play with and that helped keep their attention. But you need to realize that they don't know they are hurting you and so what I also did was when they turned and pulled and bit me I would scream and scare them. I know it sounds mean but they won't learn unless you tell them and I think I only had to do it once or twice, not everytime they nursed. I hope I've helped. Good luck.

C.

I had my 2 children when I was older 34 & 37, and breast fed both. I asked another mom whos children were pretty much same age . Kind of sounds like shes done with breast feeding.It will make you sad and at the same time glad because the pain is OVER because of the teeth.I know what youre talking about with the teeth.
Good luck and most of all go with your gut feeling and how you feel on taking care of your child.
Thinking more about it you might want to try your baby on a bottle, who knows how she will do on that Probably just fine.

Hi M.!
Ouch! I feel your pain! I found that wearing a necklace (one that can withstand a little tugging) really helped keep my daughter from wanting to explore the room while nursing. Also, engaging her attention, sing songs, play the animal sounds game- "what does the cow say? mooooo" Shes still young to understand that she's hurting you, and if you resond with animation or excitement, that might encourage her more.

Good Luck!
H.
www.naturalchoices4baby.com

Hi M.,
The Le Leche League, Int'l is a great source for info like this.

There's tons of info on the website: www.llli.org . There's a support group in most cities that meet monthly, I think the Ft. Collins group just met April 16th.

But there are leaders that you can call. To find the one in your area call: 1-800-LALECHE Someone even came to my house to help me.

Don't give up! They'll have great info for you!

My little boy did the pulling away part last month (he's 5 months now). He doesn't have teeth yet, so I don't know what that's all about. He would also gnaw on me as well and it really hurt. When he would gnaw, I would just push in on his cheek to break suction and to let him know not to do it (of course he's not making the connection I'm sure) and then not let him nurse anymore until about 10 min later or so. He would love to pull away, (he is easily distracted) and look up at me and smile or "talk" or look at the TV like you said. It almost seemed like a game. I would say "no" in a low tone, but he just thought it was funny. lol If he did it a lot at a certain feeding session, I would just make him wait to nurse like I did with the gnawing and I also keep light pressure on the back of his head to make sure he stays in position (doesn't always work). Also, if I'm talking to my husband or someone in the room, or talking on the phone, he is distracted and has to look up at me to see what I'm doing. Good luck to you. I hope things get better.

You have to judge your child. Some kids might think it's fun if you make a big deal about it. But in any case, be consistent & break the suction with your finger. To make a point without making it "fun" you can take her off whenever that happens, say No & put her down.

The advice is here is really great - tell them it hurts, in a firm voice, and take your breast away for a few seconds. Sometimes, though, it's hard to break the seal they have on your breast, so one thing you can also do is pull her towards you. It'll push her nose into your breast, and she'll open her mouth on her own since she won't like the sensation of having her nose covered. Just make sure you don't yank her off - I did that with my first (that was my first reaction - get him off!!!), and it ended up cutting me and hurting even worse when he nursed. Good luck!

R.

Tell her in a deep, loud, and forceful voice, "NO! THAT HURTS MOMMY!" Then take her away from your breast. Any time she does that, stop the nursing. She can return later when she's nice to you. After awhile (days, weeks, ?) she'll figure out the cause and affect. If she wants to breastfeed, she'll be nice to mommy. The other thing is, she may be weaning herself. Breastfeeding should not be painful. Even though she is a baby, she needs to learn not to hurt you. Good luck.

I feel for you! I have had this happen with both my boys. I only let it happen a couple of times though. When she does it, you have to flick her cheek with your finger (not too hard) and tell her in a very dissappointed voice No! I promise she will cry and it will break your heart. I only have to do this maybe 2 times and my babies get the picture. Don't just let her do it though. she needs to know that this is unacceptable behaviour even though she is so little. Hope this helps! good luck.

Dear M. F. I had the same problem when I was breastfeeding my kids. I would suggest putting your finger in there mouth to break the suck in when you fill them about to pull away.
C. J.

My daughter did the same thing at about the same age, and I took it as a cue that she was ready to stop nursing. I weaned her slowly (over about 6 weeks) and she was a lot happier with a bottle. She really was just ready to move on, and was so much happier after I figured that out. We all would like to breast feed for as long as possilbe...for some, six months is enough, others a year or two. You decide what you're ready for...just don't hold her back if you can help it. Perhaps I took the "easy" way out..but in my opinion there are so many other things to worry about, having my body hurt (more) in the process wasn't on my list of things to do. You're doing a good job. Hang in there. And remember, whatever you choose is the right thing to do. It get so much better :)

Ouch! So is she turning away because she is distracted? A quiet room might help, and keeping your finger by her mouth so you can quickly detatch her. However, some babies that pull or tug, or come off and on the breast, actaully have thrush. You might explore this with a lactation consultant or breastfeeding helper, because thrush is easy to treat and will return your baby back to pleasant breastfeeding.

My baby would also do that when she was about that age. I would remove her and set her down. She would cry and fuss and I would tell her that it hurts mommy. I did this everytime she pulled and bit until she learned. I would also say "NO" and keep a finger close to break her mouth off. She learned to stop doing it. Now the only problem is she is done after about 5 minutes, and I worry that she isn't getting full, but she would rather play and crawl than nurse (sometimes). Also when she is tired or she doesn't feel well, she nurses better. Good luck!

My son was a "chomper", and bit down each time he latched on. It was bad! He also did what your daughter is doing to you, and what I did to deter him was to say "OW!" so he knew he had hurt me, and then pull him off, putting my finger in his mouth to break the seal first. I waited a moment before letting him latch on again. ANd then he would chomp me as he latched on...YIKES! Looking back, I am amazed he was breast fed for 16 months!!!!! I don't know how I did it. Hang in there--hopefully, your daughter will be a better nurser than my son!

Yikes, mine is dsoing the same thing. Pediatrician recommends pulling her off when she starts to bite as she is just playing and experimenting. They will use their tongue when they nurse. I have been doing that and it seems to be working. Good Luck!

I had at least one baby who did this. I don't know if he was distracted or testing what happens. What I did was, as soon as he started pulling away, I would pull him in tight to me. His nose would be pressed against me, so he had no choice but to let go - the pain stopped right away. I would then wait a few mintues before resuming nursing. If he was really hungry he'd want to try again, if not, i wouldn't worry about it too much. If he bit down/pulled away several times in a row, the nursing was over. He figured it out before long.

Hi Mellissa, It is very painful when this happens. Hang in there! When my babies would start to bite, I would put my finger in between mouth and breast so they would release. As I am writing, it brings back the pain. I really feel for you! You might want to try a different position where she doesn't have as much room to move her head. I would read a book or sing a song. Something to make eye contact with her. I know it's not easy, but try not to make a big deal out loud. One of my babies, about 6 mo at the time, would do it just to get a reaction. I started just saying "No, it hurts mommy" and remove my nibble. Give him a couple of seconds, and try again. If after a couple of tries, he would continue, I new he was done. Hope this helps a little.

M.,

I have nursed four children past 12 months. When they would do that to me, I would hold their head and not let them pull away. You may want to keep your hand on her head all the time so you are ready whe she pulls away. You don't have to push hard. Just don't let her hurt you. Breastfeeding is so important. You are doing great to keep going as long as you can. Keep it up!

A.