Baby Shower Question - Manning,IA

Updated on August 07, 2012
C.Z. asks from Manning, IA
18 answers

The last question got me thinking. Say you are due with your second child, but the older is say 5 or 6 is it "ok" to have another shower? Or is that still a little taboo?

Also what if the child is the fathers or mothers first? Does this change the circumstances?

How many people have had a baby shower for all of their kids?

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answers from Chicago on

One shower here,and I'm due with a third and have long since thrown out all my baby stuff.

What is less tacky are informal meet the baby gatherings. My mom always does this with her friends, so they can meet the baby, and they always give gifts because babies are to be celebrated. However, showers aren't celebrations of babies, they are meant to shower new mothers with wisdom and tips for being a mother --- not to supply diapers.

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Champaign on

My son is 5 1/2 and I'm expecting my second son in September. I didn't want a shower cause I felt weird asking for gifts. I always bring something for a baby when I go see them after being born - but having a shower, you are forced to bring something and I don't like making people feel that way. If I needed to have a shower for everyone to buy me things - than I shouldn't have had another baby if I provide for my child. I'm an older mom (37) and i know that my way of thinking is a little off from the younger moms in their 20's.

I'm not saying they are wrong for wanting to have a shower for each and every baby - but for me, I just don't feel right. Maybe it was the way i was broguth up...but I go to plenty of showers for peoples second & thirds - happily - I love buying for's just not something I want for myself.

4 moms found this helpful

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answers from Provo on

You can have a shower in any of these circumstances, either out of need or just for a celebration. If the mother does not need anything for the baby, a note can be included in the invitation like "No gifts required. We just want to celebrate this event with you." My family did showers for all 3 of my babies, but each one was different. I didn't ask for the showers. The first was a surprise party and I had no idea. The other 2, my mother and sisters asked what I was in need of and whether I would like a shower because they wanted to do it. The second shower was combined with my sister in law. We each got different gifts and some of the guests only knew me or only knew her, but it was a nice party.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

Like I said in the last question I seriously dont understand what is wrong with having a baby shower, or Meet the baby party for EVERY child! Every child is special, important, and should have their own party to welcome them into the world no matter how many you have!

I guess I just dont see it as tacky, rude, or offensive. It's about the new BABY not about the gifts. If you want to give a gift then do so, if you dont then just dont!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from San Diego on

I believe that every child should be celebrated!
We did things at the shower that were personal to the child. We made wish blankets where everyone made a wish and tied a knot in the quilted blanket for instance. Even if you don't need big things there are little things that anyone wanting to bring gifts can get you or they can get something personal for the baby. I like to get things like Dream Catchers or something else personal just for baby.
I don't like that some people feel it's wrong to celebrate more than just the first child.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

Yeah I absolutely think it's okay to celebrate each baby, but I don't think the mom should be hosting it herself, no matter the circumstance. It is tacky to me, sorry. When a friend or a family member has a baby, I buy a gift, no matter if it's their 1st kid or their 4th kid. I think a lot of people do, especially if you're close with someone. Being a mother, I also know that if you already have one child, consumable things like diapers are coveted, so I do that a lot too. If it's not really about getting presents then be happy that people think highly enough of you to give you something and be gracious about it. If it is about the gifts and supplementing your Target bill then go ahead and ask away! It's a little harsh, but c'mon!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

Well I am a little older than a lot of moms on here, and my opinion is that one shower is what you get. BUT there are a lot of moms that I hear say that every baby should be celebrated. Yes that is true, but asking friends to come to a shower for each child born is probably a bit much. Now since your kids are 5-6 years apart in age, not so much an issue, as long as someone is offering to have a shower for you, and you are not throwing it for yourself.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Pocatello on

I think it's nice when friends and family want to give baby showers to people they love even if it isn't the first baby. I don't see anything wrong with. I don't care how many kids you have....even if they are all the same sex.....things get old and you can always need new stuff. I had a baby shower with my 3rd girl. It was so nice because she was off season from my other 2. So most of my girl baby clothes she couldn't wear. You can always need diapers, wipes new burp rags, bottles, a few new outfits etc. Also because you have to get so much stuff for the first baby sometimes you don't get everything the first time around and you still want those nice "things" with the 2nd baby. Like I didn't get my glider until baby #2. When my friend was pregnant with baby #3 she told me she had never owned a bouncy chair for her baby. I was shocked. LOL So I bought her one! Anyways I don't think it's right to demand a baby shower or make people give you one, but if someone all means let them!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

I only had a real shower with the first (meaning all the relatives, friends, coworkers, etc.) With the second two I had nice little dinners hosted by my good friends and sisters. They just wanted to do it and it was fun to celebrate.
Oh, and I never had a registry, not even with my first! For some reason I find them tacky (sorry, no offense, I know a lot of people like them!)

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Jacksonville on

I didn't have a "formal" shower for our 2nd, but an informal gathering of folks who showered us with gifts. I don't think it is "taboo" at all anymore. I have been invited to LOTS of showers for subsequent kids and never really thought much about it.

And honestly, as quickly as the 'experts' change what is appropriate for babies... the parents might need new stuff. Car seat requirements change and they wear out, too. Same thing for bounce seats, strollers, etc.
The only things that don't are well... it mostly all does wear out. Bibs, clothes, etc all get stained and worn over time. Bottle technology is constantly changing. Diapers and wipes are used up. Etc.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

Our family--first babies only. Any more appears as a "grab for gifts."

People close to you are going to get something for the baby. Don't register (tacky).

As for the "to celebrate the mom & baby" and "every baby deserves to be celebrated" theories.....very true, but not with invites, a shower & a registry.
Interesting to see who REALLY wants to celebrate a new baby--withOUT an invitation, don't you think?

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I know some say you should only have a shower for your first child but I don't understand that. The shower is not just to shower you with gifts which is nice and there is not reason not to but it's to celebrate the momma and the baby. Why wouldn't you want to do that for all your children. I had a shower for both my boys. They were three years apart and there are stuff that every mother needs no matter what. And a lot of times unless you are a stay at home mother you loose out of some pay when you are on maternity leave so the shower helps you get stuff you need.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Grand Forks on

I didn't have a shower for either babies because I don't like the idea of a shower. It feels like you are begging for gifts. After my first son was born a friend threw a meet the baby party for us, but it wasn't about gifts. With my second baby I was out and about a lot quicker, so nobody had to come meet the baby. I dislike the idea of a wedding shower as well.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Tampa on

I didn't have showers for either of my babies, my son was born a week before the shower and I ddidnt have any family or friends around the second time. BUT if i did I would have had one! There's a 6 year gap between my kids, and i know there must be a lot of hoarders on here who say they saved all the baby stuff after all the years but not us...

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Fargo on

My kids are 15, 7 and 9months so stated over each time and no showers. I hate showers! If people want to give a gift they can. Plus I'd rather get what I want as I find registries sooooo tacky!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Utica on

I had 2 very wonderful and lavish showers hosted for me for my first and a work shower as well AND my husband had a diaper party but we didnt have anything for my second. They are both girls and they are only 2 yrs apart so we didnt need anything else except for a crib. Many ppl bought gifts for the new baby anyway but ppl also put a lot of focus on our toddler too because lets face it the baby didnt know any better. I think having a shower for a new baby and a toddler seeing all taht the new baby that is already taking their time and attention away would have made things worse. I never asked for any of the partys and I would not throw one/host one for myself but I was very fortunate for the ones that I had put together for me/us

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dover on

I think each baby deserves a is the baby shower so for the most part, the gifts are for the babies. I will admit that the subsequent showers should not be quite the same "event" but rather something smaller. For example, many go all out for their first so their second should be more subdued. Each baby will still need diapers and wipes, other supplies such as that. They also deserve a few pieces of new clothing especially if they are of a different sex than their older sibling. Depending on the age of the other sibling, a new car seat may be in order. The larger the age gap, the more necessary the next baby shower.

In my case, my son and daughter are 15 years apart. I had some new and some used things with my son and naturally didn't still have them. Naturally, there was a shower for my daughter and again I had some new and some used things (and lots of new clothing!).

I should probably mention that my kids have different fathers and our daughter is my hubby's first baby.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Bloomington on

I have all boys but with my last , there was a 7 year gap. My husbands family wanted to have a shower for me because of the gap & we didn't have a lot of stuff. We thought we wouldn't have anymore & loaned most things out & didn't care about getting it back. I refused to have a second shower . I personally, just thought it would be absolutely ridiculous, selfish, & attention seeking. In the end, it really didn't matter because after I had the baby, everyone was so generous. You would have thought he was our first.

1 mom found this helpful
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