Anyone Else Feel like Their Husband Speaks Another Language (Man Speak)? LOL

At least you are saying the same thing just with different words, mine just go all the other way. He keep telling me is because I am still learning English...so I guess when driving and I pointing at the right and he goes to the left it must mean that my finger is still learning English too, lol.
Well, now we know what is going to be their next halloween's costume, lol.

My husband went through a spell like this too! Finally I got mad and said, "Oh I forgot you know everything and are perfect while everyone else is wrong." It ticked him off, but he stopped doing it!

Ah... The 'man vs woman' speak... I see and deal with it everyday with a ton of men... I work in 'man land'.

Things to know-
1. If you want to get their undivided attention, you MUST say their name at least once. Until they look at you, you don't have their attention.

2. If you yell, they get defensive and stop listening.

3. If you need to vent. Tell them it's just venting. Otherwise they will think you want them to fix your problem. (I have to tell my husband... I need to vent. I don't need you to fix. Just listen.)

4. They don't mind if you tell them, 'Hey, I'm all hormonal right now and if I bite your head off, that would be why.'

5. If you're mad, tell them, 'I'm mad at you. Here's why....' If you don't say it simply but detailed, he'll never get it. He'll assume you're mad at him for something COMPLETELY different.

6. They don't have the same tender feelings. You might tell him, 'Dinner's ready.' He'll say, 'Ok, be in shortly.' You think shortly means he's walking in from the yard to clean up now... He doesn't come in for another 15min. You get mad. He doesn't know why. Because he doesn't know why, you get sad. Then he freaks and doesn't know what to do.......... And it all started because his 'shortly' is not the same as your 'shortly'.

7. You start talking about something that you and your girlfriends were talking about earlier... After the 1st sentence, he's tuned you out. But he will get mad if you tune him out about a topic that you're not the least bit interested in. You need to tell him when you're really not that interested in what he's talking about... But don't be upset when he does the same to you.

If you begin to learn the 'man speak', it really does make things easier over all. We run on emotion and overthinking. They run on randomness, wanting to fix everything, food, and sex. They really are much simpler than we are.

ETA- I'd like to point out that I kind of think your hubby is screwing with you, thinking it's funny. (with the word choices/being different than yours)

My fav phrase to use on my DH: "just tell me what answer you want me to say....that way there's no argument".

I also preface my responses with, "well, I do have an opinion...but I believe it is different from yours. Do you really want to hear my thoughts?"

geee, it's almost amazing that our 30th anniv is coming up later this year!

Go to your local party supply store and buy yourself a set of antennae to put on your head. Wear them a lot, till he gets the point :)

I would laugh at my husband and say "Potatoe, potato - turn right." Or "Isn't that what i just said?"
I do think humor is the way to handle this situation.
Good luck :)

I must be in the minority. I don't agree that men and women are all that different.......I think that *personalities* are different. I also don't agree that men are simpler than women. I think we miss out on what men have to offer, intellectually and emotionally, by thinking they are simpler.

One of the reasons that I don't like the Love and Respect book is that not all women see through "pink colored glasses" and not all men see through "blue colored glasses". The problem with self help books are that there is a lot of pointless sterotyping. Sterotyping doesn't solve any problems. Just because you catagorize a person doesn't mean that you have figured them out.

Your husband is trying to exert his "rightness" over you. This isn't man thing, it's a personality thing and he CAN get over it. People who have to be right all the time have self esteem issues.
I think you are on the right track with letting it go. When he says, "so now you're mad at me" just calmly say, "No, I'm not mad, life is just too short to split hairs over words."

Good luck!

I know just what you mean. I'm reading this great book Love & Respect by Dr. Eggerich. It is really changing and enhancing my communications with my husband.

Ask yourself if your husband has general good will towards you. If the answer is yes, then you can probably work with him and yourself. Truth of the matter is women see the world through pink glasses and men through blue. We really don't speak the same language but that doesn't mean we can't learn.

Hang it there and stay encouraged.

Yes, the largest Moon in the longest time was Saturday night!

Hi Mom, my guy can be competitive with me too, makes no sense.

He does, of course, know everything about everything (and he REALLY does, being a couch potato media addict).

So on the rare occasion I actually have the answer to whatever the question is, he'll say, 'I'll google it.' Yeah, no kidding. DID YOU HEAR ME? I JUST SAID THE ANSWER IS......

sigh.....

I've said 'I can't IMAGINE why you'd want to live your life with someone you think is SO DUMB (drool)!'.....

:)

My husband and I have a difference of prepositions. My 'over' is his 'under,' and his 'before' is my 'after.' That's only a slight exaggeration. And getting the full import of something he tells me is so funny it hurts.

He might want to tell me about a hiking adventure. So he says something like, "The bear went over the mountain." That would be his whole story if I didn't keep inquiring. He has a clear and complete mental picture of the kind of bear, its direction of travel, the size of the mountain, the time of day and the season in which this happened, and the bear's motives and demeanor. He's not likely to convey any of that in his comment, however.

To find out what was interesting or important about the event, I have to start asking questions, and he'll give me back tiny and often misleading snippets: "Why was the bear leaving?" ("It wasn't. It was approaching me.") "Did it see you?" ("Not at first.") "Were you on trail?" ("No, I was on the bank of the river.") "And…, and…, well, what happened then?" ("The bear kept walking.") "Toward you or away from you?" ("Toward me.") "What did it do when it saw you?" ("It had two cubs.") "So, what did she do when she saw you?" ("I don't think she saw me yet.") "How close was she?" ("Oh, maybe 30 feet away.")

This can go on for many minutes. During the process, I have to comfort myself with the fact that he came home from the hike with all limbs still attached.

I've trained myself to listen carefully to his description of any given topic so that I can ask him questions about his choice of prepositions and get the picture he's trying to convey.

I do adore the guy, though. He's a good man, just pretty unconscious about communicating.

My hubby can be like that, but he does it on purpose to bug me!! (and it works, well).

The problem *I* have is that anything I say goes in one ear and out the other; he retains *nothing* I say to him! So annoying.

I actually told somebody this weekend that when I say blue he hears 43. We are THAT far off. There's so much interferance in the signal! He's super defensive so when I say something he's trying to decide what I meant by that or where I'm going with that. I could say the sky sure is blue today and his mind starts spinning.....blue? what does she mean the skies blue? it's always blue. what's she getting at? Was I supposed to take the kids to the park today? Is that a new blue shirt? is there something I'm supposed to remember?"
DAMN! I was just making conversation about the weather!

BY the way - I'm reading a book called "Love and Respect" by The Eggrichs. They explain it like this. Women have a differant perspective and are wired differant. When we see things we see through pink sunglasses and what we hear is decoded through pink hearing aids. Men see everything through blue sunglasses and hear through blue hearing aids. So we are decoding each others signals through totally differant perspectives.

Yep, I think we all go through this at some point or another. Sometimes it lasts only a little while until we get back on track, sometimes it lasts so long I wonder if the marraige was a mistake & I'm totally serious about that. We've been together for almost 15 years, married for 12 & it still seems like I have no idea who he even is sometimes we're so far off in our thinking & understanding of each other. I've told him before that we really need to work on our communication & he agrees, but we have a tendency of getting so far off from each other we can't even be bothered & would prefer doing things ourselves rather than trying to explain every minute detail. A couple of weeks ago he asked me to come up with a budget to pay the bills out of that weeks paycheck so I did that. I told him what we needed to pay to whom & when they were due. I told him how much we would have leftover & that we needed to also send a check for a field trip for our daughter. I felt like my part of the job was finished. He said to me 3 days later, 'so you paid all of those bills, right?' I said, 'no, you told me to come up with the budget & I did that. Remember? I emailed it to you?' He was like, 'well, yeah, but I thought you were going to just pay them all, too.' Ugh! So frustrating!!!

MechanicMama is so right on so many levels! I have trouble with my husband and his "manspeak" all the time. I loved how she put the part about venting. We have talked about it, and he still doesn't get it. He doesn't understand why I get frustrated with him for trying to fix things, that in all truth, are not really problems and don't need fixing. I have to tell him half way through his speech, before I get too angry, "I don't need a solution, I just need you to listen!" and if he wants to start a fight he will say "What is the point of telling me then?" (then all bets are off and it is on! *laugh*) Next time he rephrases something you said just ask him what the difference, and try to make it sound like an honest question.
If you say it's round, and he says "Well it's circular" ask him what the difference is between "round" and "circular" is, and if he can't make a valid reason then just ask why he feels the need to correct something that doesn't need corrected. "If it ain't broke don't fix it!" This works for me most of the time, as my husband does the same thing to me a LOT.

Haven't read the other responses yet but my husband who is fairly articulate is absolutely incapable of answering a "yes" or "no" question. Me: Honey, are you going to be home from work at the usual time tomorrow night? - Him: well, I was thinking of leaving work a little early and then stoping at the chiropractor. I could go on and on - but it's just yes & no questions he has problems with. For someone who tells me he hates too many details, I don't understand why he can't say yes or no. Or say - NO, I'm going to be a little later because . . . . I just don't get it.

you are living with a martian silly read men are from mars women are from venus

Updated

you are living with a martian silly read men are from mars women are from venus

Updated

you are living with a martian silly read men are from mars women are from venus