Angry 7 Year Old Boy

Have you asked if he is being bullied at school? sometimes that is a sign of being bullied. My recommendation is to try play theraphy. Perhaps your pediatrician can reccommend a good therapist or might have one on staff. Sometomes we don't wnat to go that route, but sometimes those roads traveled are the best roads we ever took.
Good luck you !
A.

Hi L.,

My name is also L., and I am a single mother of an 11 yr daughter. I can empathize with the guilt of not spending enough quality time with your children but as you said, it's so hard......when do we find the time between work, homework, dinner and bath's for the next day. (In 2-3 hrs when we finally get home from work) Not only are we physically exhausted we are mentally exhausted. My daughter was also very angry at that age, and would hold it in. First, I will suggest counseling, it really can help if for nothing else maybe he will open up to a stranger as a confidant versus Mom who the issue may be about. That's how I pumped it up to her, this can be the person you can tell your secrets too. It always seemed my daughter was angry with me but didn't want to talk about it. I won't assume it's the same situation for you but for us I think being we weren't your typical family (Mom, Dad and kids) and with me working full time I had a hard time finding the balance of being a caring, loving Mom and reprimanding her for behaviors that I didn't like or appreciate. I used to tell myself that we only had 2-3 hrs a day to interact and I didn't want to always be the bad guy. I wanted to be the fun, understanding Mom. Always worried it was something in our life, situation or something I wasn't doing because otherwise why would she be angry right........not necessarily. That didn't work well for us. I went to a parenting class a few wks ago and the speaker was awesome. He thinks parents tend to negotiate with their kids, and that isn't a good practice to start because they will ALWAYS try and negotiate every situation. He asked the ? should children listen and everyone chimed YES, he said that's a fantasy, now DO children listen, everyone chimed no. He said that's right.........that's reality and the quicker you start living in reality versus fantasy the better off you will be. He said parent's need to draw the line. (This is Mom/Dad's line) If you cross it, there will be a consequence. And teaching them that is will benefit them and their lil worlds to listen to Mom. He believes children need but better yet actually want boundaries. He said when your in a situation with your children just ask yourself what would reality do. If they were in college and were having a bad day and in a bad mood would the Professor say oh yeah that quiz I was going to give, you can take it tomm when you are feeling better. No, and it's up to us to teach them that their actions will have consequences now and in the future. We can't control our children, (their behavior, how they react to things or ultimately what they will do) but what do we control.............everything in their world.......all their wants and desires. Maybe next time another option would be instead of offering a reward to be good, tell him there will be a consequence for not behaving. If your not good at Grandma's tomm, you will not have your special program, snack or toy for that evening. He gave many analogies, if your interested I can type up my notes from the meeting. :o) I hear ya and know EXACTLY where you are. Sometimes I often feel I am a dangling string, just waiting to see who is going to come up next and tug on it to need something of me......worry about balancing everything and keeping my daughter healthy mentally, wanting her to be a "happy" child but the bottom line is, if we are here and we are trying to find answers, that in itself shows we are in the right direction. I hope this helps, I wish you the best.......HUG. Your not alone......:o)

L.,

My son is going through the same thing. My mom said that he is going through the terrible sevens. When he was younger, he was such a good baby/toddler. He just turned 8 last month. He too sometimes walks around with an attitude. I had gotten a call from the school several times saying that he had a tantrum and notes home from his teacher saying that he doens't want to take tests or he just sat down with his head on the desk. I would often have to tell him to get that look off of his face which is a awful frown. I think it may be kids in his class teasing him. He does sometimes tell me that some of the girls in his class have been makin fun of him. I had written the teacher notes in the past letting her know my concerns and the principal. My husband and I have to make an appt. to meet with his teacher, the principal and the school's consleour. Hopefully we could figure something out. You too.

L.,

Try speaking to his teacher at school, and seeing if there is something going on there, or something he has mentioned in passing to her. Teachers, good ones, anyway, know their students better than we expect them to.

Take him in to the ped. for a checkup. It occasionally happens that a change in attitude and behavior can be attributed to something medical going on, and it's reasuring to rule that out. While you're there, ask for a reference to a psychologist or therapist who specializes in children. Tell the doctor some of the things that you suspect are upsetting your son, that his behavior has changed, and is unwilling to talk it out with you. He or she may be able to steer you toward someone who is particularly good in dealing with those specific issues.

Good luck!

Hi L.- my name is D. I only have a 5 month old BUT i am the oldest of 9. What I suggest- Firmly telling him there is no attitude that will be accepted, but in that same balance try to do family fun activities. Create that family bond- after a while he might open up- this attitude isnt harmones YET, so it could be a cry for more family time.... Remember if you Set Ground rules ( KIds dont know it but they love predicablity) and then play a 15 min game of uno before they go to bed create a ritual that make them feel attched to you. JUST my opinion- but I wish u luck - ;^) D.

L.,
My son is going through the same thing. The teacher kept complaining that he was yelling at his classmates. My son never has problems making friends so this was unlike him. My husband and I did notice his anger.
After discussing this with his pediatrician, we decided to take him for counseling. She recommended a psychologist. I see the therapy helping. His teacher says he isn't yelling in class and his behavior overall is improving.

Try to speak with your sons physician. Maybe he/she can make a recommendation.

Good luck!

i wish you luck i got the same thing going on with my 10 yr old daughter i asked for help on here yet got no answers.

Hi L., I too am a single mom of 2 boys 7yrs old and 2yrs old. I have been dealing with my 7yr old having anger and have tried counseling via play therapy. I got no results of doing this. I had more luck in working with my way of responding to the child. I read a book called 10 days to a less defiant child and found that using some of the techniques were very helpful. A lot of my 7yr old's issues are related around the attention that everyone gives to my younger son and he gets jealous and feels as though he isn't as important. So... by acting out he gets the attention as well. I had to step back a really take a look at the way our daily routine was going and change a few things. I also needed to incorporate some time just for my older son at the end of the day without his little brother interupting. Good Luck it can be very frustrating. However, you are doing the right thing by reaching out to others for help.
Sue

one thing to keep in mind is change sometimes does that to kids. another thing is how long has this been going on? has he been violent towards people or animals? i ask this because i have 2 girls and one did that because her father left us and then barely saw her and my youngest had problems and that turned out to be reactive attachment disorder. now my oldest is fine no anger issues and even my youngest has calmed down. best thing to do is sit down and try to remeber anything that has changed since just before this started. then talk to the teachers and see if it is just at home or at school too. finding out that makes a big difference in what could be going on. if its a jealousy issue ask your mom to watch your other boy for an hour or so and just have some fun alone time with your 7 yr old. sometimes that helps. but you can bring up your concerns with the ped doc and se what ideas they have based on the info you have so far. hope this helps. i fel for you from one mom to another who has already gone through this and still going.....