Almost 3 Yr Old Daughter Who WILL NOT Sleep in Her Own Room!!!

Updated on June 09, 2011
A.R. asks from Van Nuys, CA
12 answers

Hi All:

My husband and I have one daughter whom still sleeps with us! Mostly my fault I'll admit. Not using this as an excuse but i nursed her for 2 yrs and I'm sure you can imagine how attached she is! We've been trying for a year to get her out and we will put her in her bed and we have to stay in her room until she falls asleep and eventually she wakes up (usually around 1...( She's up now screaming for us so I'm sitting on her floor letting her scream which isnt normal bc my Hubby and brother are sleeping and have to wake up early for work) and comes in our room saying I'm scared so I either put her back in her bed and have to sit on her floor til she's asleep or I just put her in our bed bc I'm too tired to go back in her room. Ugh!! I'm so over this! She's currently laying on her floor with her blanket bc she doesn't want to sleep in her bed( not sure if it's bc she's not physically close enough to me or she doesn't like her crib converted to a toddler bed...We have talked about getting her a real toddler bed and she seems to love the idea but is that really going to work?!?! Guess we will have to buy one and see. But in the meantime... Is there anyone out there who's been through this or going through this too?? HELP!! I'm about to Lose it!!

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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Just saw this link on AOL today! Hope it helps.

And if it's any consolation, my friend's 8.5 year old still doesn't sleep in his own bed. It's totally his parents fault! lol!

http://www.parentdish.com/2011/06/06/how-can-i-get-my-chi...

More Answers

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I would add that when she comes to your room during the night and you decide to take her back to her own bed, don't "take her" back. WALK her back. That's right, make HER walk. She'll object at first, but just put your hands on her shoulders and gently guide her--keep your feet moving so she can't wrap you up, lol. For what ever reason you want to attribute it to, them walking themselves back to their rooms (even with you there pushing them along) works much better than if you carry them.

3 moms found this helpful

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

unfortunately, she is 3, and she just wants what she wants. she's not scared, it's not that there's something wrong with her bed. she just wants to be near you. you can either keep playing the game, or insist that she stay in her bed. every time she gets out, put her back. be stronger willed and more stubborn than she is, and it will work eventually. check out supernanny.com for tips. good luck!

3 moms found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

((((HUGS)))) in 15 years she will not want to sleep in your room. You'll get through this.

YOu can put a mattress in your room near your bed. Let her sleep there for a while.
Then move her little bed closer to the door.
Then move it into her room.

Or Make it a production
Get the new bed.
Get her a night-light that she picks out.
Get her new sheets, again that she selects.
A child's CD player so you can play lullaby cd's.
Have a routine, snack, potty, teeth, story, kisses, bed.
Put a chair in front of her room and read from it there while she stays in her bed.

My girls came in bed with us until they were about 3. My oldest until he was 5. My youngest was 7 when he finally, permanently slept in his own bed. But Daddy was deployed and it was a hard couple of years. He is now 10 and won't even come into my room without being asked.

They get over it, they grow up into tweens who wont' let you touch them and are mouthy. Then they turn into teens and you know nothing, then they graduate and move away. My oldest is 22, my next will graduate next year. I miss the toddler stage.

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

i have 3 kids-they go to sleep in their own beds.....and 9 times out of 10 2 of them end up in my bed at some point during the night. I stopped losing sleep over it I sleep, they sleep, no fights.

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A.N.

answers from Las Vegas on

You don't need to force her to cry, but she is old enough to understand that she can sleep in her room by herself. We had issues getting my son to stay in his room (he was two at the time), but we kept at it, stayed with him at the beginning, and then sat farther outside, and then sat outside. This took forever, and I wish we had sooner just left and let him make his way (once he would lay in bed a little without crying or getting up for even a minute). We ended up taking him back many times to his room, sometimes 10 times in about 5 minutes, and sometimes for an hour or two a night, but he finally got the idea. Of course, now he plays in his room for about an hour after going down (he is almost three now), but I don't care as long as he stays in there and goes to sleep when he is ready. In the middle of the night if he wakes up (very rare now), we go back and fix whatever (wet the bed, etc), and put him back in, sometimes he cries, but usually he just goes back to sleep because he is now used to that.

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D.G.

answers from Syracuse on

my daughter did this,then her daughter........gd is 6 and will occasionall still turn up inn moms bed........it is a pain,just think if you didn't have here there to be a pain........perspective!!!

M.L.

answers from Houston on

I locked my boys in their room until they fell asleep. Then I went and unlocked their door so they could pee if they needed or if there was an emergency. But, I also keep my door locked. She is old enough to learn to soothe herself to sleep, so I would just let her cry. Make sure she has a night light and is comfortable. Getting her a bed would be nice. Actually, I would skip the toddler bed since she's older and get her a twin.

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

I'd buy a full sized mattress and put it on her floor. Then you can still sit with her and comfort her in a bed yourself.

I'd start with naps in her own bed. Then transition to night-time sleep.

Let her pick out the sheets and make it a huge "big girl" thing.

I've totally been there, still kind of am with our littlest one, feel free to msg me.

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

I co-sleep and still do with my almost 6 y/o. She took an interest in her privacy about 8 months ago, but I took my time getting her a bed and stuff because I was planning my Wedding, finishing school, taking my Nursing exam and then looking for a job - then I got an overnight job and moving her to her own room wasn't a priority.

Then I found out I was having a baby... so now I'm a but more encouraging to have my daughter transition to her room before the baby comes.

I see no reason to force her into a situation in which she is fearful. Why not just allow her to co-sleep until she's ready to move to her bedroom alone? Between 18 months - 4 years old, children see,feel and understand fears. Fears of being alone in a dim/dark space, fear of what's lurking in their room because it's dim/dark, fear of something happening when the door closes and Mommy leaves the room, etc. Some children aren't as fearful, some demand a change in sleeping situations. Your daughter is not trying to manipulation you or control you - she is telling you she has a problem and wants Mommy to comfort and protect her - but above all LISTEN to her about her fears.

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K.R.

answers from Spokane on

We went through all kinds of nighttime troubles with our son. When he was finally in his own room in his own bed, he was doing what your daughter does. Insist that someone stay with him until he is asleep, and then wake up a couple times a night wanting someone to sit right next to him until he goes back to sleep.
We even tried a "Thomas the Tank Engine" bed, no go. Then we put him in a full sized bed (mattress and box spring on the floor so he didn't have far to fall!), it seemed SO big, but we already had it and didn't want to buy a twin. Miraculously, he started sleeping through the night, every night! I would go check on him in the night, because I was now pregnant and getting up to pee :( and everytime I checked him he was in a different spot on the bed. He just needed room to move!
It's worth a try for you!

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M.K.

answers from San Diego on

Our daughter is now 7 and still begs to sleep with us...she loves to be in the "middle" :)

She slept with us often until she was about 5 or so. (I nursed her until she was almost 4). We had a King sized bed that we all three easily slept in. When we downsized to a full and got her her own bed, she was fine with that. (She was starting Kindergarten so she was 5)

When we found out we were going to have another baby we bought another King. I have a feeling we are soon all four going to be back in the big bed for awhile.....

I know eventually these kids will eventually be all grown up and I was look back on these days with nostalgia.....

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