Trying to Get Son Sleeping in His Toddler Bed

Updated on August 08, 2008
S.V. asks from Roscommon, MI
12 answers

My son is 15 months and we just got a toddler bed for him. My husband and I have been co-sleeping with him since he was a month old. We moved when he was very young and had to stay with relatives until we bought our house. He never really got used to a crib so we decided to try the bed. Has anyone done co-sleeping and have any suggestions on getting our son out of our bed into his own?

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L.C.

answers from Detroit on

I'm in a similar situation. I don't have much advice, but just some moral support.
My son is 24 months old and has basically always slept in our room. We'd like to transition him to his own bed, so we're doing it gradually.
Currently, his crib mattress is on the floor next to our bed. He sleeps in it for part of the night but always wakes up and comes into our bed.
We're dealing with other issues as well (he just gave up his beloved paci), so I'm going to give him some time. Whatever you choose, I'd do it gradually. This will be a major transition for your child.
Good Luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Two of my sons co-slept with us from the day they were born. My eldest and middle sons would not tolerate the crib at all. Each child has their own needs and when they are ready to move on they will. If you don't mind it, then don't push the issue to have him sleep independently.
If you're on the fence about the issue keep in mind: He will only be little once, and the time goes by quicker than you can imagine right now. Also, no child has been held back from leaving home for college because they need to sleep with their mommy. He'll tell you when he's ready.
If however, you are ready to have your bed back, you may need to rethink the toddler bed. Try moving it into your room, then when he is comfortable with that, move it into his room and you bunk in for awhile. Dr. Sears has a sleep book that talks about this method at length.
My eldest didn't like the toddler bed so we ended up using our guest bed which was a double size mattress, but we put it on the floor. Hubby and I took turns bunking in with him until he was asleep.
#2 was a completely different animal. We moved when he was about 18 months, so he went from cosleeping to a new house, new room and his own bed. We used a twin bed with rails and we kept finding him in bed with #1, so we finally got smart and pushed two twins together and let them sleep that way. That lasted for about a year.
Good luck. I hope you find a solution that works for you both.

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M.B.

answers from Detroit on

we co-slept with our daughter until a few months ago (she is 16 months). She took to her new bed... well, rough at first. We converted her crib to a toddler bed and now have a toddler bed.

There are times where she doesn't want to go to sleep in her own bed and we were just patient. Sat next to her and listened to soothing music together. I would pat or rub her back and after fussing and crying for over an hour the first night she went to sleep. The fussing got shorter every night. Now she either falls asleep before she goes into her bed or falls asleep shortly after going to bed.

Of course there is still fussing because she would rather stay up... but she does pretty well.

She usually wakes up around 5 or 6 am and wants to come in bed with me. I let her because it is only for another hour and then we are up.

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C.C.

answers from Detroit on

S.,

I feel your pain as I too have been through this with our daughter. We always put her to bed after she had fallen asleep and she was sick alot so she woke up during the night. Once the second child arrived it became a bigger issue because I was working full time with an infant that woke up to nurse and a 2 year old that woke up wanting mommy.

We started by putting her in her "big girl bed" and I sat in a chair in her room and read her a story. Once the story was finished she was required to close her eyes and go to sleep. I would reassure her that I was there and would stay with her until she went to sleep. (Take a book for you to read as this could be a long process the first few times) Gradually as she got used to the routine I would move the chair closer and closer to the door then out into the hallway. It eventually got to where she would open her eyes discover that I was missing and I would run back to the chair and explain to her that I had to i.e. go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, etc. Eventually she became comfortable with me telling her I was going to iron my clothes for the next day and then I would come in and check on her. Usually she would be asleep when I checked on her.

When our son (the baby) was 18 months he was already sleeping in his crib on his own (we learned how hard it was to make the transition with our daughter) when we moved him to a toddler bed. It took about a week for him to adjust. When he was three we moved him to a twin bed. No problems.

Good luck and hang in there. They're now four and six years old and still occasionally come to our bed in the middle of the night. If I'm awake enough I'll take them back to their room or just enjoy the occasional snuggle and cosleep. But four in the bed at once can be too full even for a king sized bed :). They grow up too soon anyway.

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J.C.

answers from Detroit on

Hi S.,

My son is now 25, but when he was small we put him on the floor next to our bed. I fixed him a nice soft bed of blanets. He was getting bigger and there was not enough room for the three of us. He was close to us but not in our bed. When he got tried of me climbing over him he decided to go in his own bed.

Good Luck,
J. C.

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M.L.

answers from Detroit on

I know just how you feel! Our son is 3 and still wanting to be in our bed (but learning how to be sneaky and not wake us up now!) He slept in his crib beautifully (although I would let him snuggle with us after nursing when he was younger), but we had to transition to the toddler bed about the same time as you because he was trying to climb out of the crib. It was an adjustment, going from the confinement of a crib to the freedom of a "big boy" bed. We did the rail on the side so he couldn't fall out (the rail just left a little space for him to get in and out). It took quite a few nights of telling him "no, you need to stay in your bed", but he eventually got it.

We never did the mattress in our room thing, although that may work for some families. He is now in a twin bed - we switched when he kept telling us he wanted our bed because his was too little - we took the hint! One tip for that transition - we took him to the store and let him pick out his own bedding and accessories (trucks and cars!) and made it a really big deal that he was such a big boy. He still tries to come in our room quite often, but we just take him back to his bed and tell him this is his bed.

Good luck - it is totally a hard transition (for you just as much as him!) The key is just to stick with whatever plan you decide to go with so he knows the drill and everyone works together!

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L.J.

answers from Detroit on

my daughter is 15 months, i could not imagine putting her in a toddler bed yet, she quirms and moves so much during the night even if there were sides on it she would fall out. i would try and do the crib again it might take a few days to get used to but you have to or he will be in your bed till he is three. good luck

J.W.

answers from Detroit on

Try this....... Place bed or at least mattress on floor next to your bed for a week or so. Have your son sleep in his bed by you. Then move mattress by your doorway, stay there another week or so. Then move mattress to his room, see if it works.
Good Luck
J.

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C.D.

answers from Detroit on

If it doesn't bother you, don't worry about it for now. There is nothing wrong with him sleeping in your bed. I guarantee he won't be there by the time he is a teenager! :) If it does bother you, try laying down with him in his bed (Get a regular-sized twin if you can - he will grow into it soon enough). Then gradually move to a chair, then out of the room. Be prepared for setbacks though. Whenever we have changes of routine in our house, my youngest ends up back in our bed (and she's six)! Good luck!

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L.Y.

answers from Saginaw on

My daughter slept with us from the day she went home from the hospital until umm well we will see when she stops coming into my room (I love it btw that she knows I am there for her all the time). We moved her bed to her own room when she wanted to, first we put her in the bed in our room where she could easily come to us... then she wanted to move into her room. You could probably put the toddler bed by your own to get him used to it.

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S.S.

answers from Saginaw on

HI S.,

As a fellow co-sleeper, I cna relate. My daughter and I co-slept from the day she came from the hospital. She is now close to 4, and has been sleeping in her own bed for close to a year now with the occasional sneaking in. I have always had her bed next to mine, so at night when she was done nursing, I would just slide her over into her own and then have some space of my own. Try putting your son's bed next to yours and put him to sleep however you do and when he is asleep, gently move him into his. If he wakes up or stirs, reassure him you are there, and if he comes back into bed with you, let him in. When he falls back asleep slide him back into his. This sounds tiring and often not worth the fight in the middle of the night, but if he is sleeping with you then he is used to the warmth and reassurance his momma is right there. I would not abruptly take this away. Move slow, and it may take some time. Once he is sleeping for longer lengths of time, try moving the bed alittle further away, or have his bed in his own room, and a spare mattress on the floor in yours next to your bed. This way he still knows you are close by without being physically in your bed all night. Good Luck..

S.

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C.S.

answers from Detroit on

Hi S.

I can only imagine how hard it is for you, I have 2 girls and my niece, both my girls at 18 months went from a crib to a twin bed with a safety rail on them and it only took 1 night to get adjusted and now they love their bed they slept better because of it. I would try anything but do not sleep with him in his bed, make sure its only him who lays in there otherwise you will start a whole other issue, good luck

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