Advice on a 2Nd Baby Shower

Updated on December 04, 2013
S.S. asks from Newark, DE
11 answers

So I have a son (2yrs) and a daughter (8months). My sister told me when I was pregnant that I wouldn't get a second baby shower for my second child. I could understand not getting one if I had another boy.(I feel that ALL babies should get a shower, they are ALL special). But here is my questions---- My sister is pregnant with her second child which is another BOY. She is having a baby sprinkle. I just don't get how she can have one of those after making a HUGE stink about me not getting one even though I was having a girl. So I am not really sure what I should do. Do I go to this sprinkle for her? I need advice!! TIA

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

She can do whatever she wants.
So can you.
If you don't want to go then don't go. Though that seems kind of petty.
For what it's worth, a baby shower is TRADITIONALLY for a new mother, not for a baby.

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

My opinion is that it's tacky, tacky, tacky for your sister to pass judgment over your wanting a shower for your girl, and to throw HERSELF a party for another boy. Especially if she really made a "huge stink."

That said...I would go to her sprinkle (love how she's made it right by not calling it a shower), and bring a card....buy NOTHING from the registry. Enjoy the punch and the games and say nothing about her hypocritical behavior. A smile and congratulations shouldn't put you out too much.

Use the money you save to get your baby girl a super cute new toy or outfit. ;-)

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

First, I think showers are much more for the mother than the baby.

I only had one shower but when my third baby was born, all those who would have been invited to the shower if I had had one, were more than generous with gifts any way.

If it was my sister I would tease the heck out of her for the seemingly double standard but I am close to my sister. It sounds like you and your sister have quite a bit of sibling rivalry and that could cause hard feelings.

Just go and celebrate the upcoming arrival of your nephew. Life is too short for such pettiness.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

showers aren't for babies, they're for mothers. babies don't care.
yes, she's being a hypocrite by saying you shouldn't have one but having one herself. however, she's your sister. do you really want to choose this hill to die on?
khairete
S.

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A.A.

answers from Tulsa on

Maybe she just meant that SHE wasn't going to throw you another shower. If she's throwing herself this sprinkle, or another friend or family member is, I don't see the harm in attending as a guest. The harm in not attending, however, means a potential falling out with your sister. Be the bigger person and go celebrate your new nephew. I'm currently pregnant with my 2nd boy, I don't plan or expect to have a shower or a sprinkle (honestly, I don't really even know what that is), but I've been to lots of showers for 2nd, 3rd, and even 4th babies. It's just a personal preference.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Go, be polite and smile, even though she is a hypocrite!!

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yeah it's your sister, you should go.

How annoying that the tables have turned now that SHE is having a baby!

Try not to rub that in her face to much while your there.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yeah I feel the same as you. Every baby is special and should be celebrated some how some way. I would not want to go but she IS your sister so that makes it tough. I don't have a good answer for you but I do totally get what you are saying and would be bummed too. Good luck!

J.B.

answers from New Orleans on

Wow, I would be angry I your position, she acted like a jerk. So I would forgive her for her jerkiness then I'd talk to her. Have a coffee together on neutral ground and tell her the truth. You are sisters forever and this is a thing, not just some personality trait you might find annoying that she can never probably changer something. This is a specific thing that was hurtful, I think it needs to be dealt with so it doesn't get way bigger and even cause a real rift in your relationship. Good luck!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Sit down and talk to her. Ask her how she is having this when she made such a point and made you feel really bad about getting a shower for your 2nd child.

She is family and you really need to clear the air. This hurt deeply and it's going to fester for a long time until you talk with her about this.

I think it's super tacky to have a shower for any child except the first one. It's basically saying "I wasn't smart enough to keep my stuff from my first baby so I "need" more stuff, I'm not able to provide my baby's needs so give me presents so I can afford my child".

That's what most people think when they hear of someone having a shower for their second child or even more kids. It doesn't matter if the child is a different gender or years younger than it's nearest sibling. It just says "I'm too poor to afford this child".

So, the difference between a shower and a sprinkle is, to me, the title on the invitation. I really don't think it matters what you name the party, a shower is a shower is a shower.

When a woman has more children they just don't do showers. It's tacky.

What "should" happen when that baby is born is that everyone will come visit at the hospital and bring a baby gift. In the olden days when we didn't know for sure what was coming out we got one baby shower and then they brought gender specific gifts to the hospital when we knew what it was.

L.M.

answers from Dover on

She's your sister, yes you go.

How far apart are your sister's two children? Who is throwing the "sprinkle"?

I agree that all babies should have their own celebration (shower, sprinkle, luncheon, welcoming party...whatever you call it). If the babies are close together, clearly the event should be more intimate.

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