8 Month Tamtrums

Believe it or not, someday you will crave the snuggles that your daughter wants from you!! My oldest (now 5) is one of those people who "likes her personal space" and does not want to be snuggled close and cuddled. My little one is a bit more physically affectionate, but sometimes, I am happy when my big girl gets a little bit sick and wants a snuggle! I know it is exhausting, but this too shall pass... just give her some teething tablets to help her through it. (I don't know what is in that stuff, but my little one LOVED those things!!)

When my baby is crying for teething, I give her the Hylands teething tablets and put her in the sling. The teething tablets are all natural, and you can give her one every hour. But you need a sling! There are some cute ones at target.com- they have Hotslings- which I find are so great for bigger babies! You can check them out here; www.hotslings.com

I know its hard to hold the baby all the time, but the more you hold her when she's crying, the more she will trust that you will be there when she needs you.

Just know that you can't always stop her crying. But your physical closeness is the best thing you can give her: as much as she needs. She'll tell you with her cries that she needs you. Babies are HONEST. Don't ever let her cry it out, unless you are absolutely going to lose it and she might feel your frustration or you might hurt her, physically and/or emotionally. Otherwise, just relax. It's o.k.; babies cry - and they eventually stop and sleep really well afterward. :-) You're not failing her if she has long crying episodes. She'll come through this - and so will you. Here's a way I would let off some steam while I was rocking or walking with her (with no one else around, of course): Sing a song to your favorite lullaby tune: "I'm sooo frustrated, I'm going nuts, I'm going to pull my hair out, the paddy wagon's gonna come and they're going to have to give me a big shot and put me in a padded cell..." :-) I find that amusing myself saves me from getting too upset or frustrated. Sometimes you just have to get that release.

Hang in there and take care,
J. Smithson
Loving Hands Learn 'n' Play
http://www.lhlearnandplay.com

edit: I agree with Sherree, and wanted to clarify: I don't mean to say you must HOLD her 24/7: no no, not possible. I love the sling idea too! But even if you must, God forbid, say: eat, drink, take a bathroom break, get a chore done, your physical closeness, i.e.: being in the same room and paying attention to her is very important. I think, even putting her in a swing for a short time (5-10 minutes) is acceptable: whatever seems soothing and includes you being near her. "Cry it out," to me, means leaving her to feel all alone and forced to soothe herself. Based on research and experience, I don't agree with that method AT ALL.

You have to remember, teething is VERY painful to little ones, she is just looking for comfort, and thus far, you are her only source of comfort. I don't think she is having tantrums, an 8 mo old doesn't fully understand cause and effect. Have you asked her doctor if you can give her some pain medication. I know when my son was teething, a little bit of Infant's Tylenol brought him back to his usual self. Think about it, what do we grown-ups do when we're in pain? We take something for it. If we had to suffer through it, I bet we would be pretty cranky too!

Best of Luck

Mia

HI there, I have an eight month old as well! I totally feel for what you are going through and I have to put my two cents in.. while I dont agree with holding a baby 24/7, especially with two other ones to tend to and being a single mommy.. (not by choice, but rather because I simply can't) I do agree iwth the baby slings.. I will put in my advice here.. I CANNOT live without the ultimate baby wrap. OMG... that thing is a LIFESAVER, and you can do housework and such with the baby in there... this is the only reason why I'm still sane... (I think) Teething babies are never fun, but just remember that tooth will pop in soon, and the first tooth is always the hardest.. the rest seem to go by like nothing. I do use natural teething tablets, but haven't used them more than once or twice, becuase the baby simply has a high tolerance for pain and it's about diverting their attention. I find that when it's unbearable, to put them on their bellies and lay down as well and start laughing uncontrollably. They are bewildered at why the heck their mothers are laughing and it mystifies and amazes them. I think for a time being they are curious to see what you will do next. If you do things that are totally random, I think she might forget about her pain! Nothing's more hilarious than mommy making a COMPLETE donkey butt of herself! If all fails and you're simply too tired and frustrated, it's okay to leave her alone in her crib for a few minutes while you calm yourself down. She iwll feel the frustrations and it will only upset the both of you more. I put a candle on a shelf and the baby's amazed at the flicker of the candle and it seems to soothe him for ahwile.. I dunno.. different tricks work for different babies GOod luck and keep us updated!!!
S.

Every baby has their own temperament and personality, like adults, and they way the cope with difficult phases varies. I know it's VERY had to deal this this kind of "clingyness." But... it will pass. It will. Then they will be onto other "phases." Certainly ask your Pediatrician what you can use for teething pain. Or, if it's not only due to teething per say...maybe she is experiencing gas problems or constipation, or hunger??? There are lot of things that could be causing this kind of behavior. Also, it could just be their phases of development...they are gaining in so many skills and emotions that they just have melt-downs sometimes. They need comfort. Or try putting her in a swing, or a vibrating baby seat etc. Maybe that will give your arms a rest from having to carry her all the time. I know some parents who experience this, and sometimes it's because the baby is simply hungry and not getting enough to eat, especially if they are going through growth spurts. But do talk to your Pediatrician about it. They also (at this age) go through "separation anxiety" and want to see you and be close to you. There is a book called "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: how to calm, connect, and communicate with your baby" by Tracy Hogg. And another book called "What To Expect The First Year" by Arlene Eisenberg. Both books are excellent for any 1st time Parent. I used it and these books are good resources. You can get them at any bookstore or online like at Amazon.com
Good Luck
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

hi,
one way to get a break is putting your shirt or something that smells like you next to her, she will feel close to you and might give you a break.
good luck!!!

My baby is 5 months and is doing the same thing - i put him in his walker, high chair or johnny jump up, make sure he has things to play with and that he sees them and then i leave the room. I stand just out of sight so he can't see me and he gives up after about 30 seconds but the moment he sees me he starts to cry agian so i leave the room agian and wait unitl he is content with playing with his toys. Hopefully something like that will work for you - i know it's hard to hear them cry but you have the know the difference between a cry for a need and a cry for a want - i still don't know the difference sometimes and feel like i've been had when i do pick him up and he's just fine. It's just takes some conditioning and some time - good luck!!!

Once again, I love what Julia S wrote. I became an expert babywearer (sling user) with my son (now 7) because he loved physical touch so much. My daughter (now 3) also spent a lot of time in the sling and I never had to medicate their teething pain during the day (or night.) I truly believe it's because the holding/touch (which is GREAT for brain development BTW) helped to sooth them/distract them from the pain.
Take a look at the ERGO back carrier. http://www.ergobabycarrier.com/ It's very popular with my friends and much easier to carry heavier babies/toddlers as they grow older and you need 2 pairs of hands back.
What I found when my daughter was under a year was that when I carried her in the sling when we were out and about, I was able to put her down when we got home (babies do need floor time) and she was content because her "cup was full" so to speak. You don't need to carry her 24/7. If she cried out for me, I went to her and picked her up, period. Slings (or any soft great baby carrier) is a lifesaver.
http://thebabywearer.com/ That site has a great overview of options. http://www.kozycarrier.homestead.com/ I love the pictures on Kozy Carrier. I owned 2 padded ring slings (Over the Shoulder Baby Holder) and 3 Maya Wraps (ring slings, no padding, made in Guatemala.) I was carrying my 3 year old on my hip today in the OTSBH. She was having a meltdown and I knew it would calm her down. It's nice for me to be able to whip something out from her babyhood I could still count on. Babywearing can be addictive to some! There is an amazing range of products out there now (really cool fabrics and designs) and this time is so finite... it will be over soon. Enjoy it while you can.

We went through this, and during the day I placed her in a snuggli/baby bjorn and went about my business. Try that for during the day. Also, at some point you are going to have to let her cry it out. Also, talk to your Ped about giving her Tylenol to help with the teething. Good Luck.

I used a sling A LOT, like other moms have said. That way she can have the closeness but you can have your hands free to fold laundry, eat something, write a journal entry about how hard a time this is...

Have your hubby/mother/friend/neighbor hold her for you, even if it's just for half an hour so you can take a break. Things get easier if you've had time to shower and rest.

There will be a time when she won't want to be held so much - just use that as your mantra.