Can't Put down 7 Month Old

Updated on May 26, 2010
B.M. asks from Quincy, MA
13 answers

My seven month old cries relentlessly when i put her down to play, rest or sit. I end up carrying her around all day. I'm exhausted and think this is not healthy for her or myself. I'm guessing she is bored? She wasn't like this a month ago. I try to put her down in small increments in order to get things done and she has a fit. As soon as I pick her up she is fine. CIO doesn't seem to work. I'm hoping this is a stage and its 'normal'??

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So What Happened?

Thanks ladies for the advice and reassurance. I do carry my baby in the bjorn carrier. I was just worried that i'm hindering her development being held all day. I felt like I needed to hear that my baby is 'normal' in wanting to be with me every second or advice on how to encourage independence. So, from what everyone has said, she is on track and I'll just ride out this stage and keep a messy house. :-)

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answers from Houston on

I've been through this stage several times with my now three year old daughter. I tried following advice about a little "tough" love and just letting her cry, but I found that it made her MORE clingy and the screaming and crying does nothing for mommy's nerves either.

At this age, my Moby Wrap and Calyx (buckle type Mei Tai carrier) were invaluable. They left my hands free to get done what needed to be done while still able to give my daughter the interaction she wanted. As she got a little older, when she was being whiny, it was easy to tell her that if she wanted me to hold her then she had to go in the backpack. Sometimes she wanted to cuddle...sometimes she would get bored quickly and prefer to play rather than ride along.

I am not a believer in exposing children to TV at a young age. I actually got rid of the TV until she was nearly three years old. She had see some at daycare but I really limited it. It isn't a habit you want to form early when their minds are so much better formed by other means.

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answers from Chicago on

"Practice" leaving her alone for tiny, brief periods of time. Put her on the floor and tell her "I'll be right back, honey!" and go to the bathroom, run a load of laundry upstairs, go get a snack from the kitchen (we're talking like maybe a minute tops)...and just as you promised, come right back. Upon your return announce "Here I am! I told you I'd come back and I did!" Practicing this teaches her that yes, you do leave but you always return. Her behavior is totally normal and fine, but it's okay to leave her for a moment or so (safely, of course) so she can learn how to self-entertain. You do not need to be 'attached' every second of the day - she'll be just fine!

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answers from San Antonio on

have you tried putting your baby in a carrier while you do chores? It's not at all unusual at this age. She's a smart kid and she knows what safe is. She loves and instinctively wants to be near you. I know it's hard hard hard on you. I understand. A carrier (we had one that I wore on my back) or a sling is a great tool to help her be close and get a bird's eye view of the world. You get to go on with your life, hands free.

Good luck.

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answers from Austin on

It can be a phase. It can be she is bored, wants to be able to keep you in her sight or gets frustrated rolling over or sitting up..

Does she sit up on her own? If she does you could use one of those doorway jumpy's our daughter loved it. Place her in a swing, next to where you will be.. A highchair can be handy if you move it into the room you are doing work..

Also I had a back carrier so our daughter could be on my back and look over my shoulder.. Even raking leaves and watering the lawn..

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answers from Honolulu on

yes normal.

At this age, they begin to develop more cognitively, these things are 'growing pains' for the baby, too.

They get at this age: "separation anxiety" and "object permanence." Try looking it up online.
It is developmental based... thus, you cannot make them cry it out. Or expect them to extinguish it, by crying it out.

Its a phase. But it is actually normal. In fact, it shows your baby is developing cognitively, normal, and a child, no matter what age, is still needing to "bond." And it is manifested differently per age-juncture.

Try playing peek-a-boo with her.
Try putting her down on the floor... and then you sit next to her... and use your voice as well, to comfort her... while playing.
For sleeping, well I'm not a fan of crying it out.... so its up to you. Also at this age, they begin 'teething.' Which causes pain and is more pronounced during sleep times. Thus they wake.
Also, 6 months old was a 'growth spurt' time... where their intake needs increases and they get hungrier. So feed ON-demand... 24/7, day and night. For the 1st year of life, breastmilk or Formula is a baby's PRIMARY source of nutrition... NOT solids and NOT other liquids.

At this age they are going through TONS of changes... hence, their occasional tweaks. Normal. Just ride it out. Its not easy for the baby either. Tons more 'phases' will come up.
The book: "What to expect the First year" is good to get.

all the best,

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answers from Boston on

This is completely normal behavior. Babies need to be held! It is important for development and attachment. They were meant to be worn all day, going about the activities of the mother, it helps them learn and sleep better. Have you tried wearing your baby in a sling or carrier? This is the best solution to your problem, for both you and your baby. I urge you to do some reading on the subject. Check out for some great advice, and pick up the book the continuum concept. Please know that it is normal and healthy to hold or wear your baby! Find the right carrier to fit your needs. Good luck!

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answers from Kansas City on

I would try putting her down, right next to you, to get her used to still being near you, but not in your arms all the time.

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answers from Nashville on

Totally normal and oh, how I feel for you! My son drove me crazy at that age. Mine did get quite a bit better when he started crawling, but then started doing it again once the newness of crawling wore off. He was always a clingy baby. I never got anything done, and I had some great arm muscles from lugging him around everywhere! So many people told me to just let him cry, put him down, etc, but I couldn't do it. The constant crying annoyed me a thousand times more than the carrying him around. I should probably have made more of an effort, but really, it doesn't last forever, and mine is 2 1/2 now and perfectly fine.

I did start with baby carriers at that age. This really helped me, since leaving my son to scream wasn't an option. There are lots of options, but a good one for you to be able to to use for a long time is a mei tai or an ergo. A hotsling (pouch style) is less bulky and easy for quick errands, but not as comfy for doing housework, and won't last as long. A moby is great for around the house and comfy, but won't last as long as a mei tai and is more of a pain out is public because it is a bulky wrap. They all have their pros and cons, but regardless a huge PRO for each one is that you can carry baby without losing your mind or letting the house turn into a total wreck. You can google and see if you have a babywearers group in your area, they are super helpful, you can try on the other mama's carriers and see which kind you like, and sometimes buy them used from the other mamas.

Another thing to try is the jumper or exersaucer. My son loved his excersaucer (I wish now I'd just gotten a jumper though, more fun for baby) for brief periods of time, which was a nice relief after a day of being his pack mule. I don't think it is unhealthy for your baby, some babies are just like that. Unhealthy for you- oh yeah, very possibly. You need your rest and freedom and the mobility of your arms! But it won't last forever. Try a carrier, it was a lifesaver for me.



answers from Burlington on

She is teething and need you to hold her for comfort.



answers from Boston on

Yep totally normal and good for her, actually. But I would find another carrier than the Bjorn. It's fine for a little carrying here and there but they way it holds them is not good for babies' hip development. They would not normally be in that sort of position.

There are TONS of wonderful slings and baby carriers out there and though some of them may seem complicated, with a tiny bit of instruction you will be good to go. My DD slept in slings and baby carriers while I got on with my day (really I even raked one time while she slept), and now that she is 3.5, we still use a mei tei carrier from time to time.



answers from Orlando on

It is very normal, for short periods of time. I had that problem with my oldest son. He would cry whenever I left the room. I finally took his playpen/portacrib everywhere I was cleaning, etc. He would be fine, as long as he could see me. I also put cartoons on the TV, some bright and colorful show that has music, this should sooth her. Good Luck.



answers from Boston on

My daughter is also 7 months and is having the same problem. She has been going through seperation anxiety since I went back to work 3 months ago. I talked to her doctor and she said that it was just the age. I just have to put her down when I need to get things done. If she cries, so be it. She has to learn that mama can't hold her every minute of the day. Also check the cry. If it sounds more like yelling, then she is just mad that you are not holding her. She will get over it and forgive you. My daughter is slowly getting better, especially when I put her in her seat and she can see me and I can talk to her.


answers from Providence on

Absolutely 100% totally normal. Babies need and want to be held.

Check out the book "The Vital Touch" by Sharon Heller. It'll explain why your child needs to be held.

Your local library should have it or Amazon carries it.

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