My 33 month old boy has been sleeping by himself, in his own bed, in his own room, for 9 months. He has always been a good sleeper at night, slept through the night since 3 months. All of a sudden, in the last 2 weeks, he wants to either sleep with us, or have me sleep with him, and has been waking at night 2-3 times. We have tried everything, from putting him back in bed immediately when he comes in our room, locking his door from the inside so he cannot get out of his room, however, he sits at the door kicking and screaming. I have endured many restless nights now as I am the one getting up and down with him. In the last few nights, I have reluctantly laid down with him in his bed until he falls asleep, but it seems he wakes us again when he realizes I'm no longer there.
I would try to avoid laying with him because he likes it and will require it if you do that. Tell him big boys sleep in their own big boy beds and mommies and daddies sleep in their beds. You can sit on the floor next to his bed for a bit then sneak out quietly. You can also put a small radio on in his room with soothing music playing.
To me, the important thing is that everyone sleeps, not where they sleep. He's not going to be 18 and still wanting to sleep in your bed, for instance. If you can all sleep in your bed and get a good night of rest, then let him in. When he's older he won't need to. I think I remember my son having bad dreams around this age. It could be that he's a little scared. My approach would be to have him not be scared and locked in a room.
Good luck,
M.
Hi Lynette, It's really common for children this age to start having nightmares. Their imaginations get more vivid, as you probably already know from spending time with your son, and this carries into their sleep time. He may be having bad dreams and needs a little reassurance in the night. He may or may not remember, but it might be worth discussing it with him in the morning. It might be that he just needs to be told/shown that there aren't any monsters under the bed or whatever it is that's bothering him. It might also be worth asking his teacher (I assume he goes to pre-school) if there is anything happening there (ie, changes in routine, new friends, etc). Good luck. I hope you get some sleep soon. D.
Thank goodness I'm not the only one who thinks it's probably just a phase and you should let him sleep with you! I'm sure he'll grow out of it again - especially since he's been such a good sleeper. Poor little tike just probably needs an extra sense of safety and security right now - I say, let him have it. : )
My son is just about the same age and in the last 2 weeks we have been going through the same thing; although he is only waking up once per night. We don't let him sleep on our bed as then he is the only one that gets any sleep. I have been reassuring him that Mom and Dad are always here and he needs to sleep in his room in his special bed that is just for him. I have been patting his back a little and then sit or lay on the floor until he falls asleep again. I tell him he needs to relax and let himself sleep.
We talk about it during the day, the importance of sleep and staying in bed, but he tells me he is going to get up and have Mommy pat him.
I hope this phase does not last too much longer. He has been such a good sleeper until now.
My son is 2 1/2 and started having the same issues. Once we moved him from the crib to his big boy bed and new room, we had kept the rocking chair in there with him. He'd always had his books read to him in the chair so we kept the tradition. He did great at first. Not a peep from his room all night! We were so happy! But things soon changed. He was waking up 2,3,4 times a night wanting me to rock him. I'd do it until he was asleep and then put him gently back to bed. As soon as he realized he was in his bed and not rocking in the chair with me, he was up again. I finally realized I needed to take the rocking chair out of his room and read to him in his bed. That worked perfectly. Until...he wanted us to lay with him ALL NIGHT. We started off laying with him until he fell asleep. But he just kept getting up like before with the rocking chair. So we decided to read books with him in his bed, lay with him for only a couple of minutes after, and then tell him good night. He'd go right to his door (it has a gate in front of it)and yell for me, "MAAAAMAAAAAA! MAAAAMAAAAA!" I would go into his room (only once in a night), tuck him in again and softly tell him that was the last time I would come in there. I told him he was ok and I was right there if he needed me. I'd tell him to TRY and fall asleep. He would call for me again a few more times but I would only say from the stairs to get back in bed and try to fall asleep. Each time I reassured him he was ok. This lasted about 3-4 days. Then, he would just call for me from his bed and not get out. I'd come up to his door and tell him to close his eyes and TRY to fall asleep (I wouldn't come inside his room). I'd tell him that he's ok and I'm right here. Well, it worked. The only time I actually go into his room to comfort him is if he really is scared. Other than that, I simply ask him to close his eyes and TRY to fall asleep. I always reassure him that "I'm right here." He's been sleeping through the night for 6 months without waking up AT ALL.
I hope this helps. It took some time (about a week) but he now feels safe and comfortable by himself in his own bed, knowing we're just down the hall to protect him.
My daughter is almost 2-1/2 and started doing the same thing, after many months of independent sleeping. The sleep problems coincided with some big developmental changes, including increased stranger anxiety. We went ahead and let her sleep with us when she wanted to, and within 2 or 3 weeks the phase passed and now we're back to not hearing a peep from her all night. I remember my son going through this kind of thing, and it always seemed to happen when he was going through a growth or development spurt. When the spurt was over, he went back to sleeping in his own bed. Good luck!
the only advice I have is to keep getting up and putting him back in bed. don't lay down with him - you're starting another bad habit. He will stop eventually but it may take awhile. I wouldn't lock him in anymore - what if there's an emergency and he can't get out!
L.,
I quite agree with the moms who said you should let him sleep with you. This is only a phase and if you lock him in his room or let him cry for a long time, you are harming him! He is crying because he needs a little more security at this age. My 2 year old slept in the bed with me until he was 3.5 and then quite easily moved to his own room again. He still likes me to be in there for a few minutes with him, but I can leave while he is awake and he is fine. He also still comes to our bed once in a while and we let him, because it makes him feel safer. I think whatever you do, make sure your child feels that you are there for him, you love him and are there to help him feel safe. That way he grows up without insecurity issues. He won't need to sleep in your bed forever. Contrary to what most parents think, habits are not that hard to change in kids. My husband was so worried that I had set up a bad precedent with my son in our bed for so long. I assured him all I needed was a week. Well, it turned out, all I needed was three nights. He complained mildly for three nights and then that was it! The most important thing is that everyone gets some sleep. No matter in whose bed! Good luck!
I thought I'd be the only one to say this, but I also think that locking a screaming child in a dark room is going to produce a lot more harm than letting him sleep with you. My kids are grown, but they all went through periods of needing to sleep with me/us. One is a biochemist - happily married with 3 kids of her own, one is a star athlete graduating from college - neither of them sleep with me! Common sense says that if a child is a good sleeper and all of a sudden starts waking up that something happened - like a nightmare. Kids this age quite often have terrible nightmares . It's a stage. Let him come into bed and feel secure, get some sleep yourself, wean him back to his bed after a while - let him know you can hear in his room, leave the door open if that will help but first and foremost, let him feel safe. He WILL grow up and not want to sleep with you.
