Both my husband and I work. My 7 YO has been waking up 3-4 times a week wanting to sleep in our bed. We simply can't do three in a bed. We have never allowed it and all of a sudden, in the middle of the night there is crying and then I'm yelling and we are all grabbing pillows and going in different locations - my bed or the guestroom.
I don't want this to continue - she is 7. Why is this happening now?
Any advice how to deal with this at 1:00 AM? I tell her before bed that she MUST remain in her room or there will be consequences. It doesn't always work. She says that she can't get back to sleep. But she only gives herself 2 minutes and then gets upset. She is an awesome sleeper. When I put her down, she is asleep in 2 minutes. Ugh.... Help....!!!
I think the sleeping bag might seem like a camp out. So that would be fun. She has never done this before because there has never been a choice. It's not me who she wants to be with, it's Daddy! He's been working a lot - all the more reason to need his sleep. The problem is that he never hears her, can't wake up, etc. Her bed is a twin but it's so uncomfortable for one of us to jump in there.
by yelling you are more then likely just adding more stress to the situation. Yes, she is 7, which means she is a very little girl still. Why is she coming in? Is she scared? Is it the dark? Nightmares? Did she see or hear a scary movie or story? Find the root rather then punish her for her fear.
When my kids come get me at night I take them back to bed, and then lay wiht then a while until they feel safe again.
She could be going through a growth spurt. That can cause disruptions in their sleep patterns.
I never had any objection to my daughter climbing into bed with me so I can't help you there.
Well, if you think the sleeping bag will be fun for her, then give her a beach towel to lay on.. Have her sleep on her dads side of the bed on the floor.. Tell her not to Wake you up.
Figure out what will get old really fast to her.
Or have her get out of bed and shake dad to wake. up.. Tell her NOT to wake you up.
Your job is to pretend you do not hear her or see her.. and not to respond to her..
Moms can usually hear every peep.. Dads can sleep through a marching band..
Let her quietly bring in a Sleeping bag or pillow and blanket and sleep on the floor next to your bed.
Tell her not to wake you all up.
Then make her take this stuff back to her room in the morning..
Ditto what Laurie A said - let her sleep on your floor in a sleeping bag with her pillow. Tell her that SHE would need to be responsible for bringing them into your room when she wakes, and that you will NOT get up. Several nights of this "uncomfortable" sleeping might convince her to stay in her own bed.
I'm the same way about sleeping with kids. It does all I can do to sleep in the same bed as my husband, much less a kid thrown into the mix. :)
When my kids do this I let them curl up in bed with us for about 10 or so minutes then take them back to bed. Sometimes it's bad dreams sometimes they just need a hug. I'm ok with that. pretty soon they won't want hugs or snuggles.
She may be going through a growth spurt, having nightmares, etc. I say continue to hold your ground. Lay with her if that helps (and gets you both sleep). If all else fails, both of you sleep on the couch / livnig room (if you have room) and move back to your room once asleep!
I agree with Jen C. But your easiest solution will have to be for daddy to spend more time with her during the day. To make the time.
Seven can be a funny age - a time when children suddenly become afraid of all kinds of things because they are just realising how big the world is and how small they are. My youngest went through the same thing at the same age. We just let her sleep with us and it went away on its own, but we have a really big bed. Do you have a tape player so she could listen to a calming song? Or a story for a few minutes until she feels better? Could you set up a walkie-talkie so she can let you know from her room what is going on and you can talk her down?
Geesh, sounds like it isn't working your way. Just let her snuggle and go back to sleep.
Otherwise you might try locking your door or hers so she can't get out. But then there's the possibility of a fire or something and her needing to be able to escape. Kids sometimes need to be with someone during the night or even during the day.
The other suggestion I have is lay down with her and sleep all night. If she has a small bed then get her a big kid bed.
When my daughter 6, comes out of her room for any reason besides going to the bathroom at night, it's usually because she's upset. She gets a little cuddle, then put right back in her bed and re-tucked in.
I think the key will be telling her you'll spend plenty of time with her during the day, but at night we all sleep in our own beds. We've never allowed co-sleeping and never will. If you don't want to, or want a kid sleeping in your room (my 15 year old bro still makes a nest on mom and dad's floor at night! Too codependent!) forever, you need to nip it in the bud now.
Tell her not to wake you up and just find a spot somewhere. It won't last for long.
Our daughter is also 7, and she still occasionally shows up in our room during the night. She took forever to sleep through the night and still is used to having me with her when falling asleep, though in HER room. When she shows up at night, my rule is that if it's after 5 am, she can join us in our bed (I get up at 6), but before that, she will have to go back to her room. I will, however, go with her and lie down until she falls asleep again. I'm pretty confident she'll outgrow it.
How would it be if you walked her back to her room and tucked her in again for a little while? If she wasn't usually waking you up, she may be in a phase which will end soon.
About the sleeping bag, be aware that she might not be as uncomfortable sleeping on the floor with it as you would expect. Our kids do a sleep out on the living room floor periodically when we have a fire in the fireplace, and they seem to be perfectly happy. So while I completely agree with the principle that she has to deal with rearranging her sleeping pad and put it away herself, you should know that it's possible she won't be discouraged by the discomfort. Good luck!
She is just coming through a change into wakefulness - check out Waldorf education and read up on the 7 year change.
She is scared. She is _____. She is ______. But most of all, she needs you. And now she needs you in the middle of the night.
Maybe something is not right at school. Maybe something is not right at home.
Forcing her back to bed will not resolve HER issue. Why is she waking? Why is she wanting you? Why WOULDN'T she want you?
Good luck,
M.
i was fine with cosleeping as long as they just came in and slept. Dd has some physical issues where she will physically be in pain and not sleep and kick and toss and just disrupt everything. It's hard too because she doesn't say such and such hurts or I don't feel good it's just I can't sleep. And now that i have gone back to work and need to function i too find myself sleeping deep enough that to fully wake up and take her back to bed doesn't happen but i wake up enough to be disturped and not feel rested. and yes the nights when daddy wakes up enough to yell and get everyone all upset beyond what we already had going on is no fun at all. my dd is too stubborn for the sleeping bad thing, that doesn't work for us, but it would be what i would try if dd is generally good at listening.
to answer your quetison 7 seemed to be a hard year for us, testing limits and not sleeping well.
best advice is for dad to spend time with her one on one.
