Hi Moms!
My son is 2 and my daughter is 7 months so they are 19 months apart. He really shows no interest in her at all. He rarely plays with her or helps with her--only when asked. Is this normal? Since they are so close in age I thought they'd get along great! My niece loves her new baby sister and just can't get enough of holding her and helping with her. Is this just the difference between boys and girls. Will it get better as he gets older? She is/was a very fussy baby with reflux--maybe this caused this reaction since she cried ALL the time. Anyone expereince this??
Thanks!
L.
Thanks everyone! I guess I won't stress--just wanted to be sure his reaction is "Normal". My sister and I are so close that I guess I am just hoping they will be too!
My son and daughter are 20 months apart and they are NOW (5 and almost 4) best friends. He was interested in her as a baby, mostly as a novelty, but once she was big enough to play with-- without taking his stuff or messing things up-- then they started to become friends. It'll come, don't worry.
My daughter, who's the oldest, loved her baby brother when he came along when she was 21 months. She always played with him, and he followed her as much as he could, even now, he thinks he's 5, just like her(he's only 3). When my third came along and my daughter was almost 4, and my second was 2, he could care less, and she was all over the baby again. My two sons are just starting to play with each other now, and he's 3, and the "baby" is 17 months. My third is just now saying my son's name, and he had my daughter's down pat for a while. He will go to my daughter and play with her much easier than with my son. So, I think that it's the definitely the difference between boys and girls, and I am sure it's going to happen in July when #4 comes along. Everyone will ignore the baby except my daughter! It will get better though, so in your situation, give it time - when she starts to walk and talk more, your they will be great playmates.
L.,
While I haven't experienced exactly your scenario, I have had a reflux baby... and as much as I love my son... seriously, my heart swells with love for him, he was a very challenging baby and I can relate to the stress of this like you wouldn't believe. Even now he is high maintenance, and whiny and cries more than I would like... ugh! But when he's happy, he is SUCH a lovey boy. :)
So on to the lack of relations between your two. Perhaps your son just hasn't enjoyed having a baby sister yet. Honestly...maybe her crying scares him, or stresses him out. In which case, I think that instead of trying to comfort her or deal with the crying, he simply ignores it.
I am willing to bet that once your daughter is a bit older, has outgrown her reflux and becomes a bit more interactive he will find pleasure in having a baby sister.
I second some of the other suggestions... in the respect that maybe the grass isn't greener on the other side :) I would be wholly grateful if my son would show a bit less interest in his baby sister... he LOVES peek-a-boo, and he uses his burp cloths for this game... he drapes his 4 mo old baby sisters whole face with a burp cloth, but i think because he's waiting for her to say 'where's baby' he fails to take it off so she sits there with a cloth on her face while he walks away with his arms held out saying 'where is she?!?' So we have to keep a really close eye on him to make sure he isn't suffocating his sister :)
It'll come... :)
I don't think I would get to worried about this. There could be a little jealousy or you son does not like all the fusing and would rather distance him self from the fussing.
I think it will change when they start to have more in common.
My son is 2,1/2 and my other son is 6 mons. I thought the same thing, they would get along. But no, my 2 year old doesn't want anything to do with the baby. Now my girlfriends daughter is 18 mons and loves the baby ! So yeah, I think it's a difference of boys and girls. So don't worry. It happens to me and the baby is a perfect angel. I think age will make the difference.
boy would i give anything to have a day where my older girl ignored the younger one. she's always all over her....literally. i can't leave them alone because she just won't get off of the baby and practically smothers her with toys. i say enjoy it for now. i think it's normal - yes, maybe the difference between boys and girls. just his way of dealing with not being the only child anymore. as long as he's not hurting the baby, i think he's ok. i'm sure they'll be best of friends when they get older and can interact/play.
i think its very normal. my girl friends son did the same for his brother and my now 7 year old did it to his brother as well- if he didnt ignore him he was mean to him- a few times loving. now they are 7 and 5 and best friends. spend some one on one time with him, reward his good behavior- when he helps. start a marble jar and put a marble in the jar everytime he is helpful. good luck!
Better to ignore than to try to sell her like I did with my difficult baby sister! Let him figure it out at his own pace and don't try to "force" him to like her. Pretty soon she'll be into his stuff and he won't have a choice but to acknowledge her. I wish my kids would ignore each other once in a while.
