1 Year Old Issues...

Updated on February 11, 2008
S. asks from Saint Louis, MO
12 answers

My son is one year old and already throwing tantrums. When I say "tantrums", I mean this... For example last night I told him No that he couldn't get into something and he cried for about half an hour. Kicking, throwing toys, even hitting me. I obviously want to nip this in the butt, because I don't want my child acting this way. What can I do??? HELP! :)

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V.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Walk away from him and ignore his fits. When he sees that you aren't paying attention to him, he may quit.

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J.E.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My daughter had blood sugar issues, it seemed (still does) that she had to eat at least every 3 hours or she would have a melt down. Could be an underlying physical cause. The best thing for one year olds is distraction and diversion, as far as discipline goes.

1 mom found this helpful

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

my son is 16 months old and luckily he hasn't had too many tantrums yet - but he's figuring out that sometimes he does not get his way. honestly, i have no problem with him being angry, and i usually will tell him something like, "wow i'm so sorry you're mad." or "i know, you're mad at mommy right now." i know he's little but i want him to know it's not the emotion that is wrong, it's expressing it in hurtful ways that's not ok. that might be silly! but it's how i feel. i've noticed there are two kinds of "tantrums", one, for example, every time i have to put his coat on to go outside, he starts fussing, sometimes turning into a fall-down tantrum. these times i try to be patient, but i tell him we still DO have to put our coat on, because it's cold outside. and i'm bigger than him so i get my way ;) the other kind is when i'm doing something else, and he will get into something he knows better than to touch, just because he wants some attention. it may be wrong, but i try to stop what i'm doing, and after correcting him, distract him by playing with him or reading to him for a few minutes. it usually solves the problem. i hope that this doesn't make the problem worse, since i'm giving him what he wants essentially...but that's what is working for us. thankfully we don't have to deal with it more than a couple times a week, and then he's not particularly crazy or anything. hope that helps...

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J.A.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't think you can discipline a 1 year old. I have almost one year old twins. One of them is a firecracker. Whenever he has "tantrums" or meltdowns, I just let him throw his fit on the floor. Within seconds he's done and it usually means something wrong.... either he's tired, hungry, hot, etc., I'd give it about 6 months and then you can start "time out" or whatever discipline you prefer.

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S.P.

answers from Kansas City on

I was having the same problem with my 18 month old. Hitting, Kicking, and thowing toys. It seemed that no matter how many times I put him in time out or how loud I raised my voice he wouldn't stop!! My newest approach seems to be giving us a better response. I have been giving him rewards for his proper actions. He still has to go to timeout but not as much as before. I just remind him that he gets prizes for when he is good. The prizes aren't much, a couple fruit snacks, extra book at bedtime, just simple little things that are BIG to him.

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K.S.

answers from St. Louis on

A one year old is looking for attention...positive or negative...it doens't matter to him! Try to be as non-reactive as possible. Don't let your face, body or voice give your frustration away. Remove him from the situation (or remove yourself) to let him throw his fit without an audience. Even if it is just moving him to the other side of the room or you turning your back. It may get a bit worse before it gets better as he tries harder to get you to react. Hold strong, giving in even once only reinforces to him that his tactics will work. I agree with the other moms here... you can often prevent tantrums before they start by making sure his has had enough sleep, enough snack, enough snuggle time, etc. Good Luck! From my experience, the "terrible twos" start at about age 1 1/2 :)

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S.S.

answers from Springfield on

Tantrums are a way of getting your attention in a negative way. Don't give him any attention. Walk away. Or, if it seems he could hurt himself, stick him in his crib & walk away (do not say ANYTHING to him). When the tantrum is over, then get him out of the crib. If he starts screaming again while you're getting him out, just calmly put him back in and walk away again. It's pretty normal at this age. He's testing you....you have to pass the test. :)
S.

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M.W.

answers from Topeka on

At this point ignore him when he is throwing the tantrums. Any attention you give to the tantrum will encourage him to continue. You can praise him when he is not throwing tantrums for him to start seeing "good" behavior gets positive results.

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J.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I would say to either ignore him when he is acting this way (children act our for attention, even negative attention) or you should redirect him and talk to him calmly and tell him he should not act that way. Unfortunatley this age is difficult and may not get better.

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J.M.

answers from St. Joseph on

I was given the advice to just simply ignore this kind of behavior in my 15 month old (who has been throwing himself on ground for tantrums since before his first birthday) but I have a really hard time ignoring a screaming kid! Some better advice I was given that I have better results with is distraction. I didn't think it would work to try to give him something else to do when he is mad but I feel like it works better than ignoring him. Sometimes it takes a minute for him to calm down and get interested in the new activity/toy but it does work. A great book that gives good insight into toddler behavior and feelings is "The happiest toddler on the block." I don't use all of the advise from the book but it does help in understanding your little guy. Good luck!

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W.H.

answers from Tulsa on

Children at this age typically throw tantrums due to being tired and/or frustrated. If you can rule out that he is tired then consider that he is developmentally at a stage where he is aware of what he wants but unable to to communicate that with you. If you can determine what he is trying to communicate (i.e. I'm hungry, I want to go outside, or I need my diaper changed) then try to respond to that need. If this doesn't work also consider that children at this age tend to get over stimulated (maybe he's around a loud T.V. or too many children). Perhaps he's frightened of a loud noise or he knows it is time for you to leave to go to work. I, too, have a one year old and know the challange of trying to be a mind reader but know that your child isn't throwing his tantruams for any other reason than he is trying to communicate with you in the only way he knows how. Sometimes you will find that he is trying to get something that he doesn't need - like another cookie. If this instance, redirect him, if possible, before he begins his tantruam by introducing a toy or moving into another stage of his routine - perhaps his bath. Be patient and attentive but also firm in your approach as you teach him alternative ways to get his point across - this stage will pass quicker if he knows he can get what he needs in another (less disruptive) way.

I almost forgot to mention that you cannot reason with a toddler. I once found my 2 year old daughter (who is now 19 years old - yes, I have a one year old and a 19 year old!) having a nasty tantraum in the middle of Wal-Mart. I didn't say a word to her as I picked her up and left a full cart as we left the store. She calmed down on the ride home and learned that I wouldn't get upset or give in to her if she threw a tantraum, even in a public place.

Good luck!

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B.L.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Your one year old is not trying to manipulate you (this will come later). He is frustrated by his inability to communicate what he wants. Even if he can communicate what he wants, sometimes you have to say no. He is unable to understand why you aren't giving him what he wants. How frustrating for him. He doesn't know what to do with all this frustration . . .his kicks, screams, and cries.

Try to head off tantrums before they happen. Help him to communicate. I've had some success with a few baby signs if he's doesn't have a large vocabulary yet. Give him lots of choices during the day. Child proof well, so you don't have to say "no" often. Cheer on the positive behavior. I have found I can avoid most tantrums, without changing my household rules or "giving in" to my kids.

If you do reach tantrum stage, You can't give in to the tantrum or it will become a learned behavior. You can offer another choice or simply ignore the tantrum until it is over.

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