Child Throwing Temper Tantrums

Hi V.,
A good way to diffuse the tantrums. Is to stand by and ask him if he is finished, even possibly laugh. Sometimes when they don't get a rise out of you the realize it isn't working and they will stop.
My son tried that a few times and that is exactly what I did, stood by laughed and asked him if he was finished. He realized that he the tantrum wasn't working and he stopped doing it.
Good Luck.

The first thing to do is state very firmly "Mommy will not talk to you unless you can talk to me like a big boy." and leave the room. There is no point in him throwing a tantrum if he has no audience. If you talk to him your just reinforcing this behavior because he still has your full attention. Ignore them, and they'll stop.

talking to him calmly feeds into what he wants....attention.

the more you talk to him, the happier he is

you are better off firmly and quietly giving him NO attention...like a time out or ignoring for a brief period.

dr. dan

Every child is different and this may work or not work with yours.....
I had this problem with my nephew who I spent a great deal of time with....
When he went into one of his tantrums, I would follow his lead and do the same. I would throw one of his toys down on the floor and jump up and down on it....then I'd get down on the floor kicking my feet while I covered my face with my hands and made loud sounds of sobbing. This took him by surprise and stopped him in his tracks....he'd watch as I made a fool of myself on his behalf and then he'd come over to hug and laugh at me. That's when I was able to talk to him having his full attention. A few of these and he stopped having the tantrums. He'd still get annoyed when I had to say no to something but it was nothing like those tantrums and much easier to direct his attention onto something else.

He sounds SO normal; but that is not a reason to give in to his tantrums. Because it is mostly developmental time-outs do not work too well.
When my kids were little I observed that tantrums were more likely to happen and were nastier if they were hungry or tired, so avoid, as much as you can perilous situations when you know that your kid isn't well rested or hungry. Feed your son nutritious food often and try to interject calm and restful moments in his day. Sometimes all it takes is sitting in your lap reading books to have him rest.
Not giving in to his tantrums is important, and that is really hard to do. If you know that something you do is going to stop your kid from crying it's very hard to resist not do it. Steel yourself, talk to him calmly and tell him something like "You may not watch TV now, but when you calm down I'll play trains with you" or "You cannot have cookies 1/2 hour before dinner, but you will have them with your dinner". Good luck, and, as with most everything remember that "this too shall pass".

Our youngest had tantrum after tantrum where she would throw herself on the floor and scream. I got in the habit of bringing a book along in my purse so I could stand or sit calmly next to her as she finished writhing around on the floor and was ready to interact with me again. Got a lot of reading done. She is now the most even-tempered reasonable child. Don`t give in, let him flip out and try to ignore the stares from other shoppers who might not be so understanding.

It's a lot easier at that age to get frutrated and throw a fit(emotions rule toddlers). Distract,teach him to take a breath, stay firm and work on giving your son words. I tell my kids to talk to me when they can be calm so I can understand them...they can sit on their beds until they calm down...I also tell my kids it's okay to be angry...we all feel angry at times...I wouldn't try to talk to him during a fit, yes if you see one comming on try to work it out but during the actual fit if you give them any attention then you are re enforcing that fits work. Calmly walk away(if you can) or put child in a safe place until they calm down...if your in public(where they think they can get away with anything)leave....I have left the store(with a full cart), the library(play group)and the park...once you leave once(I have 5 kids) they figure it out and they'll behave. Stay strong and firm and you'll get through this, better to conquer it now than when he gets older. Best of luck!

Hi,

Ignore him when he is throwing fits. Walk away and tell him when he is finished then you will talk to him. Don't talk to him or even look at him when he is throwing one of his fits. J.

I agree totally with Dianna. He will stop throwing them if he doesnt get the attention he is throwing them for. I always say "Mommy cant understand you when your whining/crying" As long as he is not so hysterical he will hurt himself, simply walk away. I usualluy leave the rooma nd my daughter knows not to approach me again until she calms down. She started having horrible temper tantrums daily before turning two, they lasted about a week and now she doesnt do it anymore with the excpetion of maybe once a month.

as long as he is not in danger egnore it all he is looking for is attention and if you give it to him for negative behavor he will continue. I am a mom of 3 girls 7,6, & 3. the 3yr old does this and once they figure out no response it will stop

As tough as it may seems at the time, you have to remain consistent with him, and let him know that crying, screaming and yelling won't get him what he wants. Make a big deal out of his positive behaviors, maybe with a reward system, like stickers on a chart, something he can constantly see to remind him.

I have a 6(almost 7) year old and a 4 year old. I reward them with coins, and eventually, we cash them in and go shopping. Maybe tell him if he gets 5 stickers, he can have a prize, and keep a prize box ready (crayons, coloring books, new toothbrush, bigger stickers, books, etc).

I know he's only two, but if you remain calm and consistent, he'll eventually learn to stop. It worked for my 4 year old. He's much better, now that he's 4!

Hi There:
I was able to find lots of great information on Dr. Sears Website when
looking for similar help. My 16 month old falls into their category of
"a needy baby" and had lots of wonderful suggestions and approaches.
Saying no for my little one has little effect, but she responds better when
I say, " Not for Abby" or "Sorry - while signing it.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp
http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.htm
Best of Luck - R.

My daughter liked to throw temper tantrums when she was little (she is now 17). I found the best way to deal with her tantrums was to ignore her. After a few minutes she would stop. She, however, was not hurting herself or anyone else.

My son, now 10, would throw things when he was mad. With him, I would tell him that it was ok to be angry or upset, but it was not ok to throw things. In that way, he learned his feelings were ok but his behavior was not.

It is also important to be firm with your decisions and to not give in just because your child is having a tantrum. It's hard not to give in, but you and your child will be better off in the long run.

Before having my 2 boys, I was a special ed teacher. I was the queen of behavior plans, charts and all ssorts of cool things that helped shape behavoior. Then, I had my own children. My son is about 2 1/2 and we have seen him throw tantrums that last anywhere from 2 minutes to 30...sometimes more. We've tried everything...we do 2 things for "time outs." If he is really having a huge fit, I take him to time out in his room and gate him in. This way, he isn't going anywhere and I can still see what he is doing. I know this sounds a bit harsh, but at this age, the likelihood of them staying put is slim to none. I initially explain why he is going to time out and tell him when he is ready to talk, I will know because he will be quietly sitting on his rug. I think trying to talk to a child sensibly while in a fit is worthless. We've found that reiterating what happened after the fact, explaining why he ended up in time out and lastly, providing him with suggestions of things to do differently work great.
For little "oops" type things, I have him sit on the stairs and set the kitchen timer for two minutes. It's been suggested that they stay in time out 1 minute for every year of their age.
Anyways, this works for us. If you need suggestions on how to make charts and reward incentives...and all that good "stuff" I will be happy to help!

I babysit for an 18 month old boy, who is suddenly also throwing temper tantrums..He seems to respond (sometimes) to time out...Other than that, I would appreciate any helpful suggestions, also..

I am a 65 year old grandmother, with loving children and grandchildren, and a beautiful 2 month old great niece..

My daughter did the same thing. We were in the supermarket and she wanted a sugary cereal. When I said no and tried to redirect her to healthier alternatives, she started a tantrum. At three, she could be very loud and embarassing! I decided I was not cringing out of the store nor would I acquiesce. As all the other shoppers watched on, I threw a tantrum myself, complete with kicking my feet and pounding my fists on the floor while my VERY stunned daughter stood there watching me. When she was very quiet for a minute, I asked her if she liked what I did to which she emphatically shook her head "No". I told her that's what she looks like when she doesn't get her way and starts a fit. She has never thrown a fit since. I admit it was hard to face the other parents and children as we walked down the aisle, but 17 years of peaceful discussion was worth every bit of 4 minutes of humiliation. We laugh now, but she learned that even mommies have limits and you never want to push them twice!

I send mine to his room,

when he freaks out and acts up, I simply point to his room and say Go to bed,

of course he continues to scream in his bedroom, but he eventually calms down and relaxes, and then i walk in , we talk it over and we come to an understanding,

And start over again,

M