When to Start Toilet Training

Updated on February 15, 2008
K.T. asks from Beverly, MA
30 answers

I know many questions are often asked about toilet traning. I have a 7yr old, that trained quite easily. We started about age 3. I have a 19mo old, so they are 6yrs appart. I feel I am a bit rusty on toilet training. I've heard of people starting toilet trainingg at 2yrs old. That just seems a bit young to me. So my question is, when do people typically start? I know each child is different. My second question, is it much different training boys oppose to girls?

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

I have the same question with exactly the same situation. I have a 7 year old girl who trained fairly easy and a 19 month old boy who seems interested in the potty but when is it too young to start? If anyone has any answers let us know.
Thanks,
M.

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P.C.

answers from Hartford on

Hi K.,

I may be a little rusty myself because my children are older. But I think that when a child starts asking (what's this? or going oops after they have wet. That's you cue. My boys were both train at around two. But my grandson is over 3 and is not. I think that boys are easier to train because mine never used the potty chair but rather a little stool pulled up to the toliet to tinkle or they sat backwards also if you feel more comfortable, so they don't slip in. Hope that helps

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A.M.

answers from Providence on

My son showed an interest at about 18 months old so we slowly introduced it. He is now 20 months old and pees and poops on the potty. He by no means is potty trained, but he goes and is getting better and better at it everyday. At this point I think he will be trained by two. I hope this helps!

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K.B.

answers from Boston on

I started my daughter when she was 17 months. Granted she would sit on her potty with her clothes on, but it was our first step. Soon she would ask to sit on the potty without clothes. Still she did not actually do potty until she was ready at 19 months. She did a great job for about 5 months and then she stopped! She hated the potty for about six months but now she is fully trained. They go when they are ready! I do think it helps to introduce it early and plant the seed to start thinking about it.

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J.B.

answers from Springfield on

Hi K.,

There is no specific time to start toilet training. When your child begins to show interest in the potty is the best time to start talking to him/her about it. It should then just be a nice easy progression.

Good luck to you!

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K.A.

answers from Boston on

I am a mother of a 3 yr old boy. I started TT around 2.5yrs. Disastrous! I had a sticker chart, M&M's for rewards and Thomas the trains also. I also was using the pull ups. We are currently doing the TT again now. I suggest waiting. It is only frustrating for you. Your son will have no clue. I told him that when his pile of pull ups was gone, then he had to wear underpants and go pee pee in the toilet. So far, we have had success. If they have the pull up on, it gives them the opportunity to go in it. I also agree with rewards!!

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D.M.

answers from Bangor on

I think you were right when you said every child is different.
I to think 2 is a bit young to start T training. But my 2 year old asked to go on the potty, but he's not really ready. He's to busy. My daughter trained at 2 and stuck with it, cause she hated the wet and poop feeling. Boys are a little harded than girls in my experiences. I think 2 years old is a good time to introduce the potty and just see what they're response is.

Good luck, K.

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E.M.

answers from Bangor on

I have a daughter who trained at age 2 and a son who I started training at 2 but who wasn't completely trained until he was almost 4. My daughter was a piece of cake she genuinely wanted to learn where as my son wasn't overly interested at first. I think that you have to take cues from your child. I also ran a daycare for several years and I found that for the most part girls train easier than boys if you remain consistant.

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A.A.

answers from Boston on

Well K., you are right each child is different, and that makes a big differnce in potty training. I had six children and helped to potty train many grand children, so I will tell you in my opinion it is never too early to get that task going. Some, learn quickly, some are stubborn, and some can't wait to sit and potty train. I found that the girls learned more quickly for me, as long as they saw me going, and they had a potty chair near by to sit on.
They boys had no problem standing on a little step-stool to pee, but didn't like siting on toilet or potty chair. My big son, potty trained shortly after he walked, with the help of my mom, and 2 brothers, who showed him the ropes. He couldn't wait to pee like a big boy, and sit on the little toilet to do his duty, which he would read his little books from, while he sat their. Then I had a son, who refused to relinquish his fluids in the toilet but had know problem in peeing on a tree or bush out side. He was 1-1/2 at that time, and at 26years is still doing that. That's boys for you. So, I recommend that you start as early after they get the walking thing going, and are stable, and you have a potty chair near by, and a step-stool, plenty of books, and things that make the experience enjoyable. Curiosity about what you are doing in there, usually sparks the interest to do the same.
Children learn from what they see, and experience. They also need encouragement and praise while learning. Rewards work great, when they get it for trying and doing it. Make it a great experience and you'll see the results happen faster. Buy those pull ups, instead of pampers, and start with using them during the day, after they have been bathed and dressed for the day. Remind them that the pullups are like panties, or underware, and that they should not go in them, but that they should not worry if they make a misstake, cause they can put new pullups on. After you master that for a while, try buying them cute little underware, that they don't want to get dirty. Show them how to wash them out if they mess up. That's always been effective to my children and grands. It helps them take resposibility for themselfs and what they do, and then they don't feel ashamed.
Make it a game, that wins every time, even if they mess up. Find a way to reward them for trying. If you have any more questions, I will be glad to answer the best I can.
Good Luck, and remember the earlier the better, because they won't have a chance to argue about it.

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W.D.

answers from Boston on

when they show signs that they want to do it.. if you start too early, they'll resist.. boys do train later. I'd have your husband show him what to do and if he shows interest, then run with it. if he doesn't, then wait. My son didn't train until he was almost 4. but don't push it and be patient. it will happen.

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S.M.

answers from Greensboro on

There is no right age to start toilet training. You'll know it's time when your child starts showing active interest in the toilet,like by wanting to try it out, watching others with interest, telling you right after s/he's gone in his/her diaper, etc. The best advice I know is to not push your child. Let them lead and then reward with a sticker and/or a hug and words of praise when they go in the toilet. My son was easier and younger than my daughter when he trained, but he was the youngest child, so had more people to show him how!

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C.M.

answers from Boston on

K., you are right when you say that each child is different. Some will start before 2 years old and others do not even show signs of readiness until after three. Children are pretty good about letting you know when they are ready. Does your child tell you when they have a BM or pee pee in their diaper? Do they tell you when they are actually in the process of going in their diaper? Are they curious or interested in the potty? Is thier diaper dry for longer periods of time throughout the day? If they are, then they may be ready to start potty training. If not, you can start the conversation about potty training through books and talking about what you and especially their older sibling is doing in the bathroom. Hope this helps!

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T.C.

answers from Providence on

I follow the philosophy of self-training with a helping hand from mommy and daddy. I put the potty out around 15m for my daughter and 18 months for my son. I introduced it and showed them what it was for and left it alone. When they showed interest, we moved to cloth trainers instead of dipes and I would mention it throughout the day. My daughter trained by 2, my son is just over 2 and trained.

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K.C.

answers from Boston on

Hello, I'm a little "rusty" on the toilet training too. I have an 11 year old and a 2 year old.(both boys) So I don't remember what I did for the oldest. With my two year old, I haven't really pushed the issue. However, He has shown an interest all on his own since around Sept. and even more so just this past week. I am a work at home mom, but he does go to daycare/preschool one day a week. He sees the other kids use the "potty" and has been trying there as well as at home.
On the mornings he is interested in "going potty" on his own, he asks for a pull-up or underwear. So I go with it. If he shows no interest I just diaper him. (he will remove the diaper, if he "changes his mind" and wants to use the potty)
Don't know if this will help, I had the same question before, and it seems to be working out all on it's own. So I figured I would share.

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J.A.

answers from Boston on

Hi K.

I don't think there are any hard, fast rules on toilet training and each child is different. Generally, girls do potty train more easily and earlier than boys. It depends on how motivated you and your child are. If your child is waking up dry in the morning, you could have them try then to empty their bladder. Once they get the connection they'll begin to identify the muscles needed to control urination. Generally, training for urine is easier them training for bowels. A good time to try bowel training is right after a meal when the urge tends to be greatest also you may begin to notice they like to go squat behind a chair or some other special place when they move their bowels. If you see this you know they are becoming aware of their bodies urges. However understand your child is used to the sensation of the diaper against their skin, so don't be surprised if they hesitate to sit on the potty; it is foreign to them. Imagine trying to move your bowels with a diaper on! How successful you can be at potty training also depends on your lifestyle. If you are a homebody it's easier. Just keep training pants on your little one. When he becomes wet he will be aware if he's in training pants and he won't like it. Also when a little one begins to gain control they usually tell you when they have already started or give you a 10 second notice. Much more convenient at home. If you are out and about most of the day you may find early potty training a hassle and unrealistic for your child preferring to change as needed. Other factors can also come into play. If a new sibling arrives when the first is between two and three years old expect to see some regression. There are also the potential psychological considerations which some feel exist when a child is "pushed" too early to give up diapers. My experience is if left to their own devices after demonstrating to your toddler how a big person pees. (with boys I would start with sitting down) and recognizing successes but not putting much emphasis on accidents which inevitably occur, most girls potty train between 2-3 years old. Most boys between 2.5-3.5.

Good Luck!
J. L.

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L.W.

answers from Boston on

Hi K.,

I have found after having trained 3 boys and 3 girls that boys are easier. I started training most of my kids at age 15-2o months. They where all trained by 2 1/2 except my Autistic daughter. She took a little longer. Now it is easier to train children with the pull ups and everything. Night training takes longer.

Good Luck

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S.D.

answers from Portland on

Like you said, every kid is different. My daughter became interested around 18 months but wasnt fully trained until she was 2 1/2. My son was 4, hes 6 now and still has to be reminded to listen to what his body is telling him. Just follow the cues your child gives you...Start by getting a little potty and some books about pottying to read to your child and then take it from there. I find it best to take a very relaxed attitude and not sweat the setbacks. That will just turn the child off from learning...And yes, in my case my girl was FAR easier than her big brother to train!!

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A.G.

answers from Hartford on

Hi K.,
At 20 months we got a potty and just put it in the bathroom and let our daughter take her time discovering it. She is about to turn 2 and really loves to sit on the potty and read book after book. We also have a chart on the fridge and everytime she pees we put a sticker on it. A potty book maybe a good idea too. I also hear that people like to do it during the warmer months - less pee on your floors :) Good Luck!

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A.B.

answers from Burlington on

Toilet training can be introduced very early in life...shortly after a child is walking. I always had the potty chair there and my daughter always expressed interest, but my son did not. My daughter was trained without any real efforts. When I cam home from the hospital with my son, she decided she wasn't wearing any more diapers. She was 26 months old. My son was much older when he was totally out of diapers. I guess the most important thing is not to make it a negative event.

A.

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A.L.

answers from Boston on

Every child is so different. I honestly feel like they, (the kids) know when they are ready. My son was tough and not completely potty trained until 4. My daughter on the other hand , got interested at around 18months, before she was physically able. I put out the potty but NEVER pushed it. She is now 26months old and we are proudly displaying the potty chart and doing a lot of laundry!

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L.M.

answers from Providence on

Hi K. -
I actually waited until both my kids were ready to train, and they asked to be in underwear.
with my daughter, we tried and tried and tried, and she wanted nothing to do with it. we watched video's etc. then one morning (at 3 1/2) she woke up and said she wanted to wear underwear. She was trained in 2 days!
My son, he would every once in a while go on the potty, but still wanted to be in a diaper - wanted nothing to do with pull ups. he would take his diaper off and go on the potty, and then ask for the diaper again. but that was so off and on. then one day (again... when HE was 3 1/2) he decided that he wanted to wear underwear. he was also trained in 2 days.
the first 6 months of them being trained, if they had a temper tantrum or a time out, they would pee there pants ON PURPOSE - the little buggers.... but nothing now!
I am a full supporter of waiting until they are ready, but also not letting them hold out on you until they are 5 either. I think that at 3 to 3 1/2 they really know and you dont have to take them to the bathroom every 2 hours. they just did it on there own because they were old enough to know!
good luck!
L.

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C.H.

answers from Boston on

When my son was 18 months he expressed interest in using the toilet, so we bought him his little potty & he tried it out about once a day for almost a year. At about 2 1/2 we began doing a diaper's off time every morning for an hour. At 3 years old we decided it was time to seriously 'potty train'(He was able to let us know when he was about to go, could take down his pants and undies on his own and woke up dry most mornings). We got rid of diapers for a week & stayed close to home with a very vigilent mama. He had an accident every day for 5 days and then 'got it'. We didn't use treats for using the potty or other incentivtes, just let him know it was time. About a month later, we stoped night-time diapers, but he had been dry in the mornings for a while. We didn't use training pants, because the bulkiness of them triggered an "i'm in diapers' response from our son and he would forget to use the potty. The whole process was very gradual and when we finally went to no-diapers, very easy, gentle and tears free for all. Good luck!

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B.G.

answers from Burlington on

When to start is when the child can say potty.I had five children,and I found it much easier with the boys. My two youngest went with their older brother. They got the idea really quick on how to do it.They were both trained at two,and I had no struggles with them potty training.If your husband is comfortable with it have him show him what to do.All kids are different.I have a Grandson who is 3,and really smart. He will pee in the toilet,but when he needs to poop,he will ask for a pull up.Then he will go stand off where nobody can see him and go. Then he will tell his Mom he did it. It really bugs me she lets him do this. When he ask for the diaper she should just put him on the toilet.She says he won't go if she does this,but I don't think she really tries. So I just stay out of it.

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A.L.

answers from Boston on

I have a 16 month old and was wondering the same thing. I was told to watch for the signs. You have to wait until she is ready.
Here I found pottie training readiness check list.

Physical signs
Is coordinated enough to walk, and even run, steadily.
Urinates a fair amount at one time.
Has regular, well-formed bowel movements at relatively predictable times.
Has "dry" periods of at least three or four hours, which shows that his bladder muscles are developed enough to hold urine.

Behavioral signs
Can sit down quietly in one position for two to five minutes.
Can pull his pants up and down.
Dislikes the feeling of wearing a wet or dirty diaper.
Shows interest in others' bathroom habits (wants to watch you go to the bathroom or wear underwear.
Gives a physical or verbal sign when he's having a bowel movement such as grunting, squatting, or telling you.
Demonstrates a desire for independence.
Takes pride in his accomplishments.
Isn't resistant to learning to use the toilet.
Is in a generally cooperative stage, not a negative or contrary one.

Cognitive signs
Can follow simple instructions, such as "go get the toy."
Understands the value of putting things where they belong.
Has words for urine and stool.
Understands the physical signals that mean he has to go and can tell you before it happens or even hold it until he has time to get to the potty.

Good Luck

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi there,
Girls are alot easier, I think, to train than boys. My daughter was trained at about 15 months. My youngest was toilet trained at about 24 months. I also worked in a child care center where all of our 2 year olds were either trained or started training at age 2. All of my 3 kids trained pretty fast but I think that you have to have to time and patience. I personally do not believe in training pants or pullups. When I thought that they were ready it was right into underwear and we never looked back. Also we sat on the potty about every 15 to 20 min, just in case. It took about a week for my boys, my daughter only had a few accidents. After a week and that yucky feeling it was the potty all the way! Good luck!

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D.E.

answers from Boston on

hi, i never pushed it and waited until they were ready...both of my girls were over three when they wanted to do it!

I did start at almost 2 for my first by just buying the potty seat and letting her sit on it. And, we also had the video Potty Potty and books on the subject!

Good luck!

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

it's when they are open to training...but try tinkle targets...remember those...get some froot loops and put them in the toilet. That's the best way to start.

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T.L.

answers from Portland on

I have 10 children and all of mine were potty trained before age two. Most of them were completely trained by 18 months.

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P.S.

answers from New London on

I had 3 kids, 2 boys and 1 girl. Pretty different. First I am now a grandmother and enjoying just watching the things that really don,t change all that much. The boys were first and were a challange. They were both set at about 2 and a half. My mom was actually shocked that it took as long as it did. Kinda made me swear that I would only support my kids through it. That said... we had two potties where they were convienient for little ones to get to in a hurry. We had a lot of privacy and naked bottoms were ok. I let them get used to the potties being around and they knew what they were for before we started. The first time they woke up dry from a nap was agood time to try. Staring early and being low key gives you time let them mature while they train. I put cheerios for the boys to aim for in the bottom of the pottie. My children have used stickers and M&Ms for rewards and it seems to work OK. My little girl was easy as she wore dresses sans diaper around the house for awhile(no carpet) she piddled on her toes was grossed out and got it well. I always packed dry stuff in my kiddo bag for the inevitable accident. You will get there ,I wish you luck and patience. P.

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L.B.

answers from Portland on

I agree with Jennifer B, she is exactly right. Ultimately, it is up to them when they want to begin. Mine showed interest at 22 mos, because a girl 6 mos older than her at her daycare was starting to use the potty and she was curious. I literally did nothing, she practically trained herself, by watching this little girl at daycare. All I did was teach her potty manners, wiping well, washing hands, etc If your older one feels comfortable with your little one in the bathroom with him, that may spark some curiosity. If your house is anything like ours, privacy is minimal. LOL Good luck!

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