Potty Training Question - Saint Paul,MN

Updated on April 23, 2007
S. asks from Saint Paul, MN
12 answers

My daughter is turning two next week. For the last month she has been wakingup in the morning dry and not wanting to wear diapers. Most mothers on thsi site seem to think that pull ups are a waste of time so we went steraight into underwear on Thursday afternoon. We put her on the potty every hour, more often if she had alot to drink and we have only managed to get her to go twice. She just goes in the underwear even if we sat her down only five monutes ago. My question is this. I know it is early days so do I just keep going, being consistent, even when she is going through six pairs of underwear a day? Or do I accept that I may have started this process to early and put it off for a few months? I do not want to be lazy and just give up, but I don't want to force this either. HAve any other moms tried straight to underwear around the age of two? How many days did it take to see even a little bit of understanding and initiating on the childs part? Any advice would help. Thanks.

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone for your advice. It makes me feel likeless of a lazy quitter. We went back to diapers last night, we will try again with the training underwear in a few months, hopefully when all of her friends at daycare start, she will want to too.

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answers from Appleton on

Hi S.

I have a 3 year old son. We started potty training at 2. We tried straight to underwear, and all he did was go in the underwear. We did this for 2 months,finally I went to pullups just because it was less of a mess for me. I really think that a childs goes on the toilet when he or she is ready. It took him 6 months to fully be trained. If you want her to feel like a big girl, but want less of a mess, I would try pullups. I personally liked them for my sake.

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answers from Minneapolis on

I'd use the pull-ups and call them undies. I'd make a SUPER BIG deal out of it when she goes on the potty and not any fuss if she has an accident. We sing/sang a little song while the kids were on the potty- "Go pee pee on the potty, pee pee on the potty, pee pee on the potty, childs name can go pee pee on the potty"-very corny but the kids loved it and would sing along, I think it helps them to relax and not think so much about trying to go, so if they have to go they will. All kids are different when it comes to training and when they are ready, but it sounds like she may be - go for it! It's soooo nice to not have to change diapers! Not too mention cheaper!

Good luck!



answers from Minneapolis on

I'd give the training a little more time. My 1st boy was trained at about 20 months and the 2nd boy about the same age. My daughter has no interest yet at 19 months. The boys loved potty training and the attention--not to mention the cool underwear. I did use pull ups for awhile but called them "underwear" . After they were successful in these, I moved to the thick underwear. Even if you do take a step back, keep encouraging her and praising her successes! Good luck!



answers from Milwaukee on

It sounds like she is not quite ready. My oldest daughter "trained" in about a day at age 2, so (being a first time parent) could not figure out what the big deal was. My second daughter showed an interest just after her 2nd birthday so I thought here we go again. Not at all she was not "trained" until 2 and a half, had accidents all the time but refused to go back to diapers. We (the whole family) went through 6 months of unnecessary h**l, she was interested at 2 not ready. I wish I had waited the 6 mo until she was ready, because once she was it was again a 1 day turn around. Good luck and trust yourself and your patience level.



answers from Duluth on

I don't think pull ups are a waste of time. Sometimes they are very necessary. I would refer to them as 'special underwear' in hopes my daughter wouldn't think they were a diaper and a license to pee her pants. I suggest just keep trying, depending on the child, just two seems a little young to expect a child to potty train. Although some do it just fine. My daughter worked on potty training from about 2 3/4 to 3 and we're just we've been working on night time training for about 3 weeks now. During the day, she has an occasional accident, but mostly because I think she just wants to change her clothes. Nighttime overall is going great (she was 3 in November). All kids are different, but I'd say overall, take cues from the child, but do some gently nudging once in awhile. If it's not working, just back off and try again in a few weeks or months.



answers from Minneapolis on

If she isn't able to relax/control the muscles necessary to pee when she sits on the potty then it is too early to expect that she will keep underwear dry. You can continue to encourage her to sit on the potty at times when she is likely to have success but consider shifting back to diapers until she can at least produce something on the potty and is able to keep her diaper dry most of the time. My ds showed a lot of potty interest at that age but certainly wasn't ready to be out of diapers.



answers from Minneapolis on

My first daughter was potty trained (with the help of daycare and 2 other girls trianing) at 2 but my 3 and a half year old daughter has had no interest in using the potty. I even bought a Dora The Explorer toilet seat that fits on the regular seat. I can get her to sit on it for a few seconds but that's it. Last night we got the potty chair out again and before changing into jammies we asked if she wanted to try to go and she did!! We did a little dance, jumped up and down and did high fives. I'm sure this won't be the norm with her as she is very stubborn but it's a start. Be patient, your child will learn eventually as will mine, they won't stay in diapers or pull ups forever.


answers from Minneapolis on

She is at a great age to potty train! Very willing to please and easily follows directions without much protest yet.
My oldest was trained around 20 months, and my youngest is 18 months nad he uses the potty during the day.

When you sit her on the potty, make a 'pssst' sound and make a funny little grunt and she'll more than likely copy you, and push out pee. Once she does it once, she'll remember and then you can use that noise every time she goes to the potty and she'll remember.

when she has an accident, try to catch her peeing, and say 'uh oh! Your peeing, time for potty' and take off her wets and get her to sit on the potty for a minute to kind of 'drive home' the fact that this is wehre we pee, on the potty, not on the floor or in our pants.

Also Gerber makes some great thick crotched undies, in a two pack you can find them anywhere, and they are GREAT, a little more absorabant but still undies.



answers from Minneapolis on

I know most moms think pull ups are a waste of time but we use them on occaison as my dd considers them to be her big girl "underwear." She just turned 2 last week, and she has been going off and on on the potty for a long time now. But somedays it is hit or miss (esp at daycare - she is there fulltime). It helps when they are interested in going on the potty. We did that by setting out a small potty in the bathroom, and letting her watch me use the big potty. She then got interested in doing it herself and would put her dolls on there to go potty. Now she tells me when she has to go potty but it is not consistent. I suspect it'll just take time. GL!



answers from Duluth on

Hi, S.. I'm sorry you're having a hard time with the potty training. Here's a little more advice from soemone who's trained lots of kids (I was a two-year-old preschool teacher):
Developmentally, if a child can draw a circle (not just go around and round, but make a single loop and stop), they have also accqired the ability to recognize their need to pee. Test it out on your daughter. If she can make a circle, she's ready. Trust me. I've used this test dozens of times. Of course, maybe you WILL go through a pack of underwear everyday for the first few days, but that's the nature of learning. The more she feels the messy underwear, the more she'll want to make it to the potty. Good Luck!



answers from St. Cloud on

I don't think she is ready. My daughter will be turning three in Aug. so I have been trying for a year now to potty train. BUT I am not forcing or pushing her. I try atleast every month to get her to sit on the potty chair, and she will. BUT she will not pee, she'll run into the kitchen and pee on the floor before she pees in the potty. This kind of tells me she is not getting it, nor is she ready....sigh!
Potty training I think is the hardest part of parenting small children.
Good Luck, eventually she will be ready! I have 2 other children and they were not potty trained intill age 3.



answers from Minneapolis on

Hey S.!

I have a little boy, and boys usually train later than girls, but here's my experience for what it may be worth.

Chase showed an more serious interest around 2, and we tried to encourage him. He would get overly upset with accidents, so we went back to diapers. He hated them too and more and more frequently woke up dry in the morning - he just didn't have the control/understanding during the day. (Night-time & daytime training can be like... night & day. They don't always happen together, ya know?)

We went to diapers/pullups. Here's my thing with pullups - they don't really help potty training, in my opinion. They can be a stepping stone that provides some security in a child that's anxious about accidents. Chase was *very* anxious about accidents even though we didn't make a big deal of them. He wore pull-ups (well, the Pampers version) for awhile to get his confidence up. For us, it worked, but we never thought they would magically help him go in the toilet on a regular basis - it's really just a glorified diaper (and he understood that too).

We waited, with the blessings of our pediatrician, until he was closer to 3. We went with his cues. He decided that he'd wear pull-ups for confidence, but we still encouraged him to go on the potty about every 20-30 minutes at first. We were patient in waiting, but he was fully trained in about a week or less. After going through it, I honestly believe potty training isn't anything you can rush - your child *has* to be ready. From conversations I've had with other moms - if the time is right, it takes a lot of kids less than a week for full daytime training with little to no accidents.

Training pants (not the plastic thingies) might be an option for you - they are *slightly* more absorbant because they are padded, but they are more like underwear. We did a few days of pull-ups (maybe a small package worth), then moved to "practice underpants" after he'd been keeping pull-ups dry all day for a few days. Then after about 2-3 days of few accidents in the practice underwear, we switched to big boy underwear. Now he's been going potty like a big boy with no accidents (except a few a night a long time ago) for almost 4 months. It's great... let me tell you! Although, stopping your grocery shopping in the middle of your list to go pee is kind of a drag, but it's better than changing yet another poopy diaper! :)

Sorry for the super long reply, but I hope it helps. I know potty training is a big deal for a lot of parents, and there's a lot of pressure to train young. Honestly, Chase showed interest at 18 months, but got it figured out at 3. It worked for him, he learned in less than a week (day & night) and he's confident & happy.

Good luck!
Mom to Chase (3)

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