When to Move Kids into Same Room?

Lots of responses so I will try to keep this short. We recorded my husband, myself, my parents, and one of my brothers reading betimes stories onto a CD and let the kids listen to it (quiet enough that they have to be still to hear it) at night. It provides something for the older one to do and a noise mask for the babe that is sleeping. It also is fun for the kids because they get to hear lots of people they know and love read them stories! This in no way has replaced bedtime stories, they just happen in a different room.

A., Thanks so much for asking this question! And thanks to all the moms who responded! We're in the same situation...two kids, two bedroom house. We have a two 1/2 year old girl and a 10 week old boy.

This has been a real issue for us. We have three girls (5 1/2, 3 1/2, 2) and they each had their own sleeping issues. The oldest would go to sleep fine in a room with the overhead light off, and door open. The middle child had to have all the lights on and the door open. The youngest (who is in a toddler bed cause she learned to hop out of the crib) had to have the door closed and lights off. We had the oldest sleeping in her toddler bed in a corner of the playroom, the youngest in the bedroom, and the middle one would go to sleep on our bed then we would move her to her own bed in the room with the youngest when we went to bed (we also had to wake her up a bit at that time because of night terrors, but that's a whole other issue;). Now we live in a large house with two actual bedrooms for the three girls. Finally we have them pretty well worked out. For the moment. The older two share one room and the youngest has her own room. They would not go to sleep for hours at a time cause they are real girls and liked to sit up and talk and play, so I now sit in a rocking chair in there for probably an hour every night now reading to them until the middle one falls asleep. The youngest prefers to have her door open now, but if she is in a room with anyone else she gets too excited to go to sleep.
Basically, none of our girls have ever been good sleepers (for a variety of reasons) and we have had to change techniques several times to keep something working. For us, an uncomplicated bedtime was most important, so we went for the separate-to-go-to-sleep method. Decide what your priority is. If you can get the baby used to the sound of you reading while she sleeps, this could be a great time for all of you. If it ends up being a headache every night...keep them apart until they're all asleep!
Sorry, that took too long to write, but just work with things until you find something that works for your family; even if it is a little unconventional.

How about choosing a seperate room to read to him, then quietly tuck him in in his room?

I use to read to both my kids in my bed, they loved my bed, and it was easier than choosing whose room we were to read in that night!

We had our kids 22 months apart and we moved our son in with our daughter really early, but girls tend to be a little more aware of things like being quiet for the baby. but we would read to our daughter in our bed if the baby was already asleep then just sneak in and tuck her in. it worked out pretty well.

Hi A.! Yes I have dealt with this situation. We also have only two bedrooms & two chidren. We moved into this house from a home that had 3 bedrooms so each had their own room. It was tough at first to get them used to sleeping in the same room, but when we started I would put the youngest to bed first in his crib and wait until he was asleep, then go in a lay down beside my daughter or sing softly to her until she fell asleep. Luckily both are sound sleepers. I tried to get her to go to sleep on her own sometimes but she would end up playing or waking her brother up to play with him. That may happen several times, but just be patient.
It's just over a year and a half now and my almost 3 year old son is in a toddler bed and my almost 5 year old daughter has
a twin bed. Now I can put them in bed at the same time and they will both stay in bed & fall asleep at about the same time. It just takes some getting used to for everyone. Put your monitor in the kids room (I still use one) so you can hear when something is going on. Be patient with the older one and help them with the transition. Maybe in your case, read stories on the couch & snuggle before taking him to bed. I'd say go ahead & put them together if your daughter sleeps through the night and explain to your son what is going to happen and that he needs to be quiet at night so he doesn't wake up his sister. On occassion I did have to put the older one in bed with us until she fell asleep then transfer her to her own bed. Well, I don't know if I've been any help, but it can work.

Maybe reading time can be in another room (family room). Then just encourage him to keep quiet for the baby. My Daughter had the same routine before my 2nd child was born and that's what we did. She was about two when we put them in the same room. Now I have a third and I'm about to face that same thing again in a few months. Good luck.

My son was almost 4 and my daughter 10 months when we sold our house and had to move to a small apartment and the kids had to share a room. I was nervous about it at first, too, but it actually went great. My daughter went to bed earlier, and when it was time to read to my son we let him lay in our bed to read. He loved that. Then he went to his bed just fine. We told him over and over again that he had to be very quiet (he sometimes plays in bed for 15 or 20 minutes before falling asleep) so he didn't wake his sister. It worked well. Every once in a while he would wake her up but not very often. She never woke him up if she woke during the night. Right now they're in separate bedrooms while we stay with my parents, but they'll have to go back to sharing a room again next month when we move into our new house. My daughter really misses my son at night. They are very close. I'm sure there will be a few nights where one might wake the other, but for the most part it's worked really well for me. Especially when they play with each other for a little bit in the morning and I don't have to get out of bed right away. :)

What we did with two of our children (2 years apart) is we put the baby to bed in our room, then our 3 year old to sleep in her room. Once she was good and asleep, we moved the baby in. Once our 3 year old realized that the baby slept in her room at night, she was excited to go to sleep at the same time and included the baby in her routine. The only problem we had was when one or the other of them would wake up in the middle of the night and wake the other up and they would play for hours. They loved it though!

Why dont you just talk to your son and tell him that you are going to be putting the baby in with him so he can be a great big brother and protect her at night while they are sleeping. Make sure to tell him he dont have to stay awake to protect the baby. He will feel like he's not loosing his room, but being a protector of someone smaller than him. Most children his age in my experience like to feel that they are doing something important. This will be his chance to prove he is important and is doing something important. Being a protector of my daughter really braught my son and daughter closer. My son is very protective of his sister and no one can harm her or he goes banana's. I think if you tell him he is the babys protector he wont mind sharing his room.

Your younger child is definitely old enough to share a room with your older child. Because of the bedtime ritual you will want to do this gradually. Move the bedtime routine to the living room or some other comfortable place to read and chat. Do this for a few weeks before you move the baby in so your older child doesn't realize the change in routine is to accommodate the baby. Do not tell your older child why you are changing the reading location.

Hi A.,
We run a fan or humidifer in my kids room to help cut down on the noise of one kid going to bed later, of getting up in the middle of the night, or getting up earlier.
We are trying to sell our house, but in the meantime we have all three in one room.
good luck.
Jackie

Hi A.,
We have the same problem at our house, we have 5 kids in a 4 bedroom house. We have twins who have shared since birth and then a 3 1/2 year old and a 4 month old that will share soon too. We did some moving rooms around the a week or so ago because I feel it's almost time to put the kids together. So when I "asked" my 3 1/2 year old about moving her room I told her that if she moves upstairs that she would get to share with the baby. She was so excited about it and can't wait until the baby moves in with her. I thought I would let her get more settled in her room before I put her sister in there, but she knows she'll have to be quite and that we are going to paint her room for the 2 of them. Just try and make it seem fun for your older child and not just say heres the new baby she is in your room now too. You don't want him to feel like the baby is taking over everything since she's taken some of his time away from you guys as well (witch all new babys do). The more fun you can make it for your older child the easier it will go. You may want to look into doing something new to the room, like painting or getting something new for them to "share" dresser, toybox, something like that. Good luck!

My daughter was almost 3 when her brother was born. I kept him in my room til he was three months and then moved him in with his big sister. He was a great sleeper, but ocasionally woke up at night. This never bothered her at all. They did not have the same bedtimes either and it worked out fine for me. I would have moved baby already, but I think now is fine. They will get used to sharing a room and things will work out.

Yeah our son is now 14 1/2 months old and were thinking weather or not to have another one this summer and we also have only a 2 bedroom house. I wanted a 3 bedroom house but that didnt work out that way so if we have another child they have to share and that isnt something I really ever wanted. Now I do daycare here at home for a couple kids also so I have 3 kids here now and its hard I just really need that 3rd room they dont share rooms now at all just to afraind one will wake the other up. But when we do have another child they will of course share I just wasnt to sure how we were going to do it so thanks to all who responed!

I have 6 kids and we have the 3 girls in one room and 2 boys in another and the baby is currently in my room. I think that when we moved our kids into the same room that we just did it and didn't really think about the logistics. We have all the kids going to bed at the same time and their routines are the same. So why not start now and get the same routine for your daughter going that you currently have for your son. Then if you are really concerned about spending the time with just one child, like someone else said move the story to a different room, like your bed. Then they each get a story with mom in her bed, a place they like to be anyway, and still are sleeping in their own room. And then because your daughter goes to sleep first you won't disturb her to read with your son. But I think that if you are going to do it don't do it gradually, do it all at once---then you don't prolong your agony (and you get your space back sooner). Good luck.

Hey there. We actually have 5 children in a 3 bedroom house. Our youngest (4 months) just moved up in the "girl room" from our room. I think kids are pretty flexible - they can get used to just about anything! I would recommend moving her in there as soon as possible. You may have to move your reading time onto the couch, but maybe not - if she's fast asleep by the time your son goes to bed, she would probably love to hear the sound of her mother's voice while she's dreaming:) I wouldn't stress too much about it. Our kids would have a harder time adjusting to having their own room!

Hi. About 3 weeks ago I moved my 6 month old into the same room with my 2 1/2 year old. It's gone ok. Getting them down is the easy part. The baby goes down first so we moved storytime for my 2 y/o to the living room (he thinks it's fun because we get blankets and read on the couch). Then, we quietly go into the bedroom and I tuck him in and sing two quiet songs. My 2 y/o has surprised me and taken quite nicely to the new routine. The problem comes when the baby wakes up around 3 am. I try to get to him before the other wakes up but more often than not he's running into my room complaining that the baby is crying. I go and nurse the babe and then everyone goes back to sleep (most of the time :-)

I'm committed to making this work and know that it can but it might take time.

This wasn't my question, but wow it could be! lol. We're talking about kid #2, our son is currently 16 mos. and we have a two bedroom house. These are some great ideas... thanks ladies!

We have four kids and a four bedroom house. I think you should move your youngest in now and then when you read to your oldest at night just do it in the living room and then put him to bed with kisses, hugs, tucked in his/their room. Another option would be is making their bedtime the same time (that's what we did).

Hi! I have three kids: 6-yr-old boy, 4-yr-old girl, and an 18-mo.-old girl. Our home has 3 bedrooms. When my youngest was born, and my parents came to visit, we put the older two in a room so my parents could have their own room. After my parents left, the two oldest didn't want to be separated. So we put the baby in her own room and the older two shared (They would have been 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 years old at the time). (Those two rooms are in the basement, master bedroom is upstairs.) Recently, we moved the girls into the same room (the youngest is still in a crib), so the my son could have his own room. He had been doing fine for months maybe. Then last night, he complains that he's scared. We talked about it, moved the night light closer, etc. He ended up sleeping on the couch upstairs. So anyway. Usually, the youngest goes down first. We read with the other two in another room, then they go to bed. I guess we've been lucky because when the baby does cry, the other two do not wake up. Does any of this help? Sorry for rambling.

We would do our bedtime routine in another room (ours or the living room) and then when my oldest would go to bed, we'd tell her she had to be quiet and couldn't wake up the baby or she'd be punished. At 5, he's able to understand what's going on. Just explain things to him first so he knows what to expect!

A.,
I had the same feelings as you with my then 17mo old and almost 5 yr old. What I found is that I had no reason to worry, but I did have make a few adjustments. First of all, I had to make sure that daughter was asleep before having my older son come in. Daughter just went to bed about 15 mins earlier than son. Also I started reading bedtime stories in my bed. It still gave him the idea of reading before bed, but it did not disturb his sister. In the morning it became a bonding time for them as they were both waking up. I think the rooming relationship actually made my son more protective of his sister and brought them closer together. Hope this helps!

My hubby is one of 5 kids and they grew up in a small 3 bedroom house. The baby was usually in with his parents for a time. At any given time they would have 2 -3 kids in one room. I'm not sure how they did it, but I'm fortunate enough to have only 2 children and a 3 bedroom house. I had to share a room as a kid and I'm glad that mine don't.