When My Kids Enter School, Is It a Good Time for Me to Go Back Too?

Updated on June 16, 2010
M.S. asks from Murray, IA
10 answers

I'm a mostly stay at home mom (work two days a week) for my 3 children (4yo and twin 2yo). I've been considering going back to school to get my RN as the part-time job i have now is not really a "career" and may not last that much longer. To get a good job in this area I think I need to further my education, and have been thinking of getting my RN from a local junior college. It would be nice to be able to help support the family financially, and to have my own "career" as the kids get older and are more independent.

So here's my question: Do your kids really need you less as they enter school, or do they need you more? If I go back to school am I going to end up wishing that I was still a stay at home mom with a very flexible part-time job so that I could be available for kindergarten field trips, picking them up from school, or other school things that I don't know about yet? Is it hard to find daycare just for the summers when they'd be out of school? Is there ever a "right time" for me to go back to school?

I know it's impossible for someone else to give me career advice, but I just want to get a feeling for how your role as a mom changes as you kids enter school vs. how it is now when they're all at home - thanks ladies!!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Most of my friends have gone back to work when the kids entered school. It's not necessarily easy to return to work, but the kids are gone for a long stretch of time and they got bored at home.

Your kids will need you less when they're in school. The fact is, they're away from you longer. Even working parents are able to get time off for field trips sometimes (and schools aren't doing as many anymore due to budget cuts). Picking kids up from school is overrated -- let me tell you, I would gladly avoid our school parking lot (aka Darwinland -- survival of the fittest there ... scary!). I work part-time and pick up our son after school and it's no picnic.

As far as childcare, many schools offer before and after school care on-site and districts provide summer programs, too. Our son is currently in our district's summer program part-time while I work. Many daycare centers and private schools also will offer fun summer programs for school-aged kids.

I'd say pursue your dreams. My mom went back for her master's when we were in school and launched her dream career. The extra income allowed my parents to retire early. She really enjoyed those years working and I honestly think she was happier then than when she was home with us kids.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm working on a Master's Degree and it is so much easier when the kids are in school. There is no way I could have done this with toddlers at home.

It's been a great example for my kids. We do our homework together and they have picked up some study tips from me (and me from them!) so we all work together.

Yes, they need you less when they are in school. It's good for them to see you as an individual with your own interests. I stopped in my kid's school once to drop something off and I overheard my daughter say "that's my mom - she's in college!" She was proud and it gave me a cutie-lump.

(Had to laugh at CAWriter about Darwinland - I'm still there and it's not a pretty place to be! Spend the extra money and put your kids on the bus!)

Good luck with your career! We need nurses!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.S.

answers from Portland on

I think it's important to do what makes you happy, however I do feel that your children need you when there in school they will need you all the way up to college. I come from a home of workaholics and I can tell you from personal experience that I would have loved to have at least one parent who stayed home. I was alone most of my childhood and as a result I was very rebellious when I got older, it was the only way to get my parents attention and really it didn't work because it was negative attention, that said this was my experience not all people react the same. When I married my husband we both agreed that if and when we had children, I would stay home as long as we felt it is necessary. I didn't have my son until I was 37 so I had a career before and I have to admit at times I do miss it but I feel so strongly (in my case) that being there for your children at home is the best gift you could give them. BTW teenagers act as though they don't need you but they do I have talked with my nephew and niece about how they felt about there parents being there and they both say they really needed there parents around and are grateful they were home. Just remember, go with your gut instinct ALWAYS, especially when it comes to your family. Best of Luck to you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I guess I got lucky, I've been in school since the twins were almost 3 and Ryan was 9. I've been taking mainly night classes, last semester I took one day class it was at the time while the girls were at preschool and my school was 15 minutes from their preschool.

Since it is hard to find daycare especially for my son (he has tons of disabilities and really needs one on one care) so during the summer I do online classes. Summer classes are a tad bit more crazy because they are cramming 18 weeks worth of class into 6 weeks (at least that is the way at my school).

In the fall I am taking 5 classes (yes I am crazy, its 15 credits) 2 classes are online, 2 classes are during the day while all 3 kids are at school and the last class is 2 nights a week (I didn't want to lose my lab partner and plus I wasn't able to take the class during the day it either started too early or got done too late). So right now I am still a SAHM and a college student at the same time. This winter I get to apply to the nursing program for starting next fall. What is nice about my school is that they have 3 different programs and LPN to RN program (which my lab partner is doing), a day program, and a night program. I will be applying for the night program, yes I will still have to do early morning clinicals but they will be on the weekends instead of during the week, and it is every other weekend so my husband can live with that. After I do get my RN I am going to be doing an RN to BSN program because I want to work at Children's hospital really bad and to work there you have to have a 4 year degree.

Good luck with your journey!!

L.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

You are in a place I was about 7 years ago. I did go back to school after my youngest was in 1st grade. It worked great because I took a light load (I went back to school for nursing as well). 2 years into it we got a surprise blessing - child #3 and then my husband lost his job. Long story short, I had to quit school and work, had the baby and decided to find something I could do from home. I started my own business. As I look back I realize my life took a different road than I planned but very happy.
My oldest is starting HS this fall. SO HAPPY I will not be working outside the home. I hear horror stories from her about kids at home without parents at home after school...scary stuff.
From other parents too, I have heard that MS and HS kids need more guidance just in a different way and if you are not there it is very easy for them to go astray.
I know some parents HAVE to work and if you do go to school and end up working hopefully it can be a flexible schedule so you can be home when the kids are :)
Good luck in whatever you decide :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes, it's a good time, because you have some free hours in the day. If you do it very part time, I think you should be able to still be there for your family. I'm doing it now, at 52, and I wish I'd done it earlier. Maybe not right when my kids entered school, but earlier than high school.

I.B.

answers from Wausau on

When kids are in school is a great time for you to go back also. The sooner you get started the sooner you'll finish, but you don't need to take heavy class-loads. You should be able to set a family-friendly class schedule. I found that I had more time for my daughter while I was in school (under-graduate) than when I was working because I often had an hour or two during the day in between classes to do homework and housework, and I did the rest of my homework and studying in the evening after my daughter went to bed. Graduate school was different and those days were REALLY long, but it's just a short period of time. I think if you do have to have a schedule with really long days, it's better to do it while your kids are in grade school, so you can be home more again when they hit the more difficult years (for us, that's about 6th grade...)

Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I will be in your shoes about 3 or 4 yrs from now when my youngest enters school. Such a big decision and so many different opinions from people.
Most SAHM's I know go back to work at least part-time once all of their kids are in school. I've been home for 7 years now and I love it, but I know once all 3 are in school full-time I'll have a little more free time and will think about working outside the home again.
From what I've heard from moms is that kids absolutely still need you just as much when they're in school. Sure, they are gone for a big stretch of the day but who is going to be there if they call from school cause they're sick or hurt, or if they need something, etc. My oldest will be entering 2nd. grade this fall and I know I've enjoyed being able to go to her class to volunteer, chaperone field trips, and just be here in case she needs me. My daughter knows I'm here for her even though she's at school. The couple times the school nurse has called me when my daughter was sick I know I'm so thankful that I am here and can come pick her up.
This is such a tough decision, but follow your heart. Only you know what's best for you and your family. Good luck!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.J.

answers from Omaha on

I went through exactly what you're going through about 12 years ago. After the birth of our 2nd child I decided to go back to school to become a nurse. This was a difficult decision as I was a stay at home mom as well and I worked part-time as cashier at a grocery store in the evenings. The nursing program I chose to go to has a rigid program and the schedule of classes is set. At the time, my husband's job allowed him to work at home 2 days a week. We had to get part time child care too. For us, I either went when my children were little or I was going to wait until they were grown. For me, I'm glad I didn't wait and my nursing career has helped us out tremendously!

Here's the honest to God truth though....as excited as I was to start, I had no idea how difficult it would be to juggle school and family life. About 6 weeks into the program I told my husband that I would quit if he wanted me too and go back later. I was doing well in my classes, I just felt overstretched! My husband fully supported me being in school and told me he would do whatever it took to help me finish. After I got through the first semester, I felt a lot more comfortable with the schedule and we all adjusted. The breaks were nice though.

You and you husband need to be on board with this decision 100%, it will require a lot of help from him. That being said, I highly recommend you do this if you're up for it.
I now have 5 children and my job is very flexible. I work when I want and I set my own hours. The money is very helpful at times and at other times allows us to go on some nice trips.
I know this is a difficult decision - good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

The right time to start school is when you feel motivated to do it! Another important thing, is to have your husband/partner on board with the plan. You will need more help with the kids and house once you start school. The long-term benefits of being qualified for better jobs is worth the time and effort of school!

I started my degree program (PT) when my daughter was 2. I was also working FT. I am now in my last three classes and my daughter is 8 (this is a full PhD program, so I knew it would be a long haul). The older she's gotten, the more time she spends with friends or other activities. There have been times that I could have been doing something with her that I needed to be doing schoolwork. There have also been times I do my schoolwork after she's in bed so that I can spend time with her. I'm also setting an example for her, as to what a woman can accomplish.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions