Whats Wrong with Me? - Tacoma,WA

I have a strong medical background. Anyone else's kid I could help in a heartbeat. They have a question about medical stuff, fevers, colds, what to give, how much, shallow breathing, they hit their head, they wont stop throwing up, etc etc etc...no problem. My own kid....every lil (medical) thing freaks me out! I just chalked it up to...it's different with my own kid. I second guess myself by over thinking.
Hope this helps. Big hugs!

My father once said that the worst thing about crying is that you never know when it's going to stop. I think that's really true. When you're a childcare provider, you know when things are going to "stop" for you - at 6pm when the kids go home, when the kid ages out of your classroom, etc. As a parent, it's a constant guessing game, because they are _always_ your responsibility.

There's nothing wrong with you. Being a parent is 1000% harder than "working with kids." Try to let some of the worry go and enjoy your daughter, and don't compound it by worrying about worrying. I'm sure you're a great mom.

As others have said, there's nothing wrong with you. It's very different to raise your own child then to work with children. I was a nanny when I was in high school and my college degree is in child development & education but raising my own daughter was a totally different experience. You have a different emotional attachment to the children you work with in child care and they have a different emotional attachment to you so your interactions together are not the same as your interactions with your own child on either your side or the child's. Children are less manipulative (I don't mean manipulative in a bad way here - just couldn't think of a better word) of their child care provider than they are with their own parent. You have a different set of expectations of someone else's child that your own child. Your child development knowledge can strengthen your parental role with the skills you bring to play sessions, art, fingerplays, music and the background you have in milestones and age appropriate play and skills. Your parental role will deepen your skills as a child care provider as you understand the 24/7 nature of parenting and the emotions that are involved in child rearing. You have two different worlds but they can benefit each other and you're absolutely normal!

I went through the same thing at times. You sound like the very best of parents. We just found out however that children are not a jumble of chapters in books or classes or rules out of someone's very important mouth. They (especially our own) are going to surprise us everyday. And we love, love them so much but are always so shocked that they do not do what it said on page 51. Relax, use the books and course materials if you must for your childcare, but enjoy your own child. And may I complement you on your loving correction and alternative discipline. There are far too many screamers in Daycare.

It's just easier to be more detached from other people's kids.

Since you work in child care, you know alot more about all the different behavior issues, kid quirks, etc. that can arise - so it is especially easy to worry if your child is developing one of them.

I would try to relax and just enjoy the little person that she is becoming. These days will be gone very soon (mine are 16 & 13 and I never believed people when they told me that). Good luck.

There is a difference between other people's kids and our own. It's the bond we have with our child. Relax. You cannot give her the "perfect" life. Her behavior is partially what she was born with and what she develops under the care of her parents.
You know what to do to set limits and to allow for creativity. Just do it. It might not be the way you were raised and that could be the conflict for you between instinct and knowledge.

I know what u mean i am in the same position i have 3 and one of them is two as well. Nothing is wrong with u the kids at the childcare are not urs so they respond differently. Ur child is with u 24/7 so the little that she is under control seems to overweigh the other time. U are doing great if she loves u and shes as healthy as u can get her, for all other things give urself a break time will help her grow and mature out of it.

With 15 years of child care experience, you could be saying that you know everything there is to know about raising a child. Instead, you're asking some very difficult questions, which proves you're a great mom!

There is such a learning curve for our children and for us. I remember realizing that I thought I knew how to trust people...until I had a child. I needed to learn how to trust people with my child. An entirely different and difficult experience! These are the experiences you don't get until you have one of your own.

I don't think anything is *wrong* with you.
A few thoughts:
•Kids always act like boy scouts and girl scouts for non parental authorities
•You care for other kids for a set amount of hours, in a structured environment with a set schedule
•There is SO much more to a parent child relationship than rules/consequences--there's love, respect, trust and acceptance--that makes for a chunkier soup to digest.

The difference is this one is yours. I have four kids and it like a roller coaster. When they are younger there is so much to worry about when they are going to the doctor constantly for well checks and sometimes when they don't feel well. It is hard to see these little ones when they don't feel well. I still have a hard time sometimes with my kids now that they are they older. You are a normal parent and your behavior shows you love your child. IF you feel sometimes that you are focused too much on what can go wrong then start training your mind to think of the sweet things about your child that you love about her. Also I can tell you prayer and bible reading have helped me through many nights when sleep did not come easy.

I think it's totally normal to worry and to be concerned when you are a mom. I think when you are a first time mom that comes with the territory. I commend you for being diligent and caring the way you do. Can you imagine that there are some kids out there who don't have concerned parents?

With that being said, it is healthy for us to get a break from being a mommy. Do you get some rest and relaxation once in a while? Is your daughter in a preschool program? Or do you have a babysitter every so often? A break from the daily responsibilities can be very healthy for both of you. Consider finding someone who can help you so that you can have some time for YOU. You will be an even better mommy for it.

That is the stress of being a parent. My own 9 year old daughter is perfect & polite to everyone outside of our house, however she is awful as far as her father & I are concerned to the two of us.

There's nothing wrong with you. Except that maybe you expect too much of yourself. Who wants a daycare provider for a mom?!? Your daughter wants you! Love her. Play with her. Be silly. Snuggle her in her bed and sing songs. Enjoy every moment because they go by WAY too fast. I feel like I just became a mom and my oldest will be 9 this year! In those nine years the best lesson I've learned is that it's not worth the effort to stress about everything, and even though I feel I did a terrible job with my oldest and wish I could have a re-do, she's turning out fine! And baby girl #4 is going to have more love and less stress from me!

Just live one day at a time.

You may be afraid you'll get it wrong. Your expectations for yourself are high and you are making judgements on your most precious gift. You are a MOM!

Remind yourself that you only have so much control, and that everything doesn't have to be "perfect." Just love your little girl and let go of some of those expectations.

I take an herbal stress remedy.....it helps!

You're just fine, you're a mom. Totally different from being a daycare provider. Makes you think about all those parents you secretly judged while you were watching their kid doesn't it. ;-)
You are the safe place for your daughter, you are the place she can act out and still know she's loved. She will always act up for you. (lucky mom)
Just keep doing what you know to do, and RELAX most of all. You're a good mom.

Yeah, I can only agree with what you said and with what the others have said. I've been a provider for 24 years and my own kids are much more difficult to deal with. What works for other peoples children doesn't seem to work for my own.

How many times have you seen a child at the daycare turn into a living night-mare as soon as mom or dad comes to pick them up? Why? Beats me.

I doubt anything is wrong with you. Childcare is different from parenting because parenting never stops and you are ultimately the one responsible for the well being of your child. All the things you have learned doing childcare will be helpful, but there will still be more to learn as you parent your own child. Another thing that factors in is the fact that children often behave differently for their parents than they do for other people. You've always been the other person. So go easy on yourself and do the best you can. I'm sure your daughter is in great hands.