What to Say to Daughter When Another Child Hurts Her?

When this happens to my daughters I tell them to tell the other person "No it's not nice to _____" and if they need to tell someone but never hurt back. Our school teaches "use your words" and "gentle hands". And don't hesitate to gently but firmly reprimand the other child in a way that hopefully won't set the other parent off. I have done this before to... interviened in the situation and told the other child No No that's not nice we can't hit etc. It's hard to see that happen to your child but that fact is it's gonna happen and we just have to arm them with the words to tell the other person, the wits to walk away and the smarts to know when they need to get some help for the situation.

As a former preschool teacher of 3 & 4 year olds, I ALWAYS have the kids talk face to face w/ me as the mediator. They NEED TO LEARN TO ADDRESS THE ISSUES and talk about what happened, why and apologize when appropriate.

When dealing w/ this age, make sure to ask about THEIR feelings if they were pushed, left out or whatever the sitauation would be. They ALSO need to learn compassion and empathy as well as talking thru problems and situations.

I personally tell my children it's not okay to hit or push. When my kids hit or hit someone else, I tell them it's not okay. When my kids want to vent physically, I tell them to use their words. They need to tell the other person to share, be nice, quit being mean, or whatever applies. They need to tell how the action made them feel. When my sons (3 and 4 years) and boyfriend's kid (12) are bullied, I tell them to stand up for themselves by speaking up. They need to learn to cope with strong and direct words. They should not resort to hitting or pushing. I don't want my kid being pushed around, nor does anyone else.

I personally find that standing up for myself and staying diplomatic works well, so that's what I teach my kids to do as well. Nasty and pushy people will always be in our lives, but we don't have to give them the power of upsetting us or belittling us. I give my children the strength to know what to say, not be violent and report rude or dangerous behavior to an authority.

Good luck.

i don't know your daughters ability to understand things, but i was always able to explain to my children that some times when other kids get frustrated they don't know how to use their words and will hit instead. Just because other kids do this and sometimes don't even get in trouble for it, it is still not Ok for you to do it. It's hard to know with a 2 year old just what they can and can't understand so put it in was she can comprehend

i had a similar problem with my son when we used to go to the park. when the other boy came to apologize, I asked him "can you tell me why you hit him?" politely but stern enough so he would know we don't find it acceptable. we've had a few instances at his school this year & now he just asks the person "why did you do that?" and they resolve it. good luck & God bless.

I am in KIND OF the same situation. My daughter is having trouble with a little boy on her bus. They are both in kindergarten. They boy hit my daughter in the mouth at lunch on friday & got sent to office. I told her to stand up for herself, saying please don't do Whatever to her and if that does not work, to tell lunch lady, bus driver etc. That IS one of those emergency situations and she is NOT being a tattle tale. I am sure to tell my daughter not to treat others the way she was treated etc, and reassure her there ARE other adults there to protect her and take care of her when her dad and I are not.....GOOD luck with your situation

It hurts so much when our children are hurt and especially when it is unprovoked! I hate it!
However, the counseling part I love.
I love guiding my child through forgiveness.
This is how I usually do it. (I have a 1 year old, 4 year old and 5 year old.)
First, I validate their pain. "I'm so sorry that you are hurting." If anything needs to be bandaged up or taken care of, I do that too.
I comfort and ask how they felt and what happened.
Then I explain that what the other person did wasn't good. They usually agree.
Then I tell them they need to tell the person not to do it again because it hurt them. It is not good for the person to do it again. They don't deserve that!
Finally, I explain how they need to forgive the person. I tell them how we need to let go of the pain by saying, "I forgive the person."
When I help my kids forgive, I pray for their hearts to be healed where they are hurting. I also ask my kids to pray for the person who hurt them.
After all this, I ask about what they did if anything to provoke it. Then, if they did anything, I tell them to say sorry to God for doing what they did. After they say sorry, I let them know that He forgives them. I then tell them to say sorry to the person the next time they see them. (That could even be hard for us, but if our children start now it will be a lot easier for them.)
I really believe that starting the forgiveness and repentance cycle early will help our kids live lives of freedom instead of living by reacting to pain. It also keeps them close to God, because we all need his help and forgiveness daily.