What Is a Good Age for a First Sleepover?

Updated on October 24, 2012
A.S. asks from Dallas, TX
13 answers

My daughter is 6 and while she hasn't asked yet I know she has been thinking about sleepovers lately. She has a few close friends that I know I wouldn't mind her going over for the night. I've known the parents for a while and get a long okay with them. So what age did you let your kids sleep over at a friends house? I have friends that have kids and have known her since she was born and they are more like family. I don't hink I would consider a night at their house a true sleepover like a sleepover at a friend's house from school. Also on your child's first sleepover did you get a call to pick them up overnight due to homesickness or did they make it all night long?

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S.H.

answers from Des Moines on

Never ;). And I only say that because I never want to invite people over here for sleep overs. The thought of them makes me anxious. And the mess...and the kids that are homesick....it's all too much. I don't do well without sleep and I know I would not get any. Luckily I think boys do sleepovers less often....and I have three boys (then the girl).

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Our daughter ( now 17) started sleepovers in K. Of course we knew the families, etc.

As the years went on, most of her sleepovers started occurring at our house. Why? Because I guess, she's an only child and it was less work for parents with other children. That was ok... In reality, it was a blessing because she has the entire 2500SF upstairs to herself, it's a perfect spot for sleepovers and I know where they are and what they are doing. Other parents also know that I will let them have fun and enjoy themselves but I also expect them to respect my property and follow rules or be taken home.

Some parents are very rigid when it comes to sleepovers and prefer to raise their children in bubbles as long as they can because they value their own sleep vs allowing children being children. Children need to experience outings, explore and learn to appreciate what they have.

My view.... I'll have plenty of time to sleep when my daughter heads out of the house to college and on her own. I will never have a "do over" on being selfless and allowing her to enjoy her childhood with treasured sleepovers and involvement with her friends.

Even today at 17, at least 1 of our weekend nights has 4-6 teens here cooking, playing pool, wii, etc in a safe environment.

Bottom line, you do what you feel is right for your family.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

About 8 or 9.
My son didn't want to before he was finished with pullups at night.
He was 7 1/2 when he could finally make it through the night and stay dry.

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D.K.

answers from Sioux City on

We have a firm rule about sleepovers. You can as soon as you are married! I am very hesitant to let my kids sleep over with people. I have let them on occasion but I have to know the parents very very well and they have to have similar values. I have never felt very comfortable about it. On occasion I have let the kids have a couple of friends over but once again the kids have to be very well behaved kids. I value my sleep.

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

My older son went on his first when he was four, and it was for a weekend camping trip. He was fine. My younger son was a little more nervous, but went when he was five and had a great time. They have both been on lots of sleepovers, and we've had lots of kids stay over at our place, and we've never had a kid get upset or homesick.

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M.P.

answers from Tampa on

Talks of sleepovers have gone on for a while, but I didn't let my son sleep over a friend's house until he was 10. He's 11 now. I just don't feel comfortable with it before that age. He slept over there twice and his friend slept over here and then the whole thing stopped. I was nervous about it because even though I know his friend's parents, I don't agree with everything that they say or do. His friend's Dad curses quite a bit and they allow violent video games over there. We do not. They also let the kids stay up until 2 a.m. We are much more conservative and believe anything past midnight is too late.

I have two other kids- 6 and 7. They have not experienced sleepovers yet. My 6 yr old would be too scared.

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N.B.

answers from Dallas on

My son was probably two at my bff's but like you said that is practically family. As for a friends house, well his friends mom worked at his daycare and I trusted her very much. It was a sleepover but more like we asked her to babysit and her child happened to keep him company. My son is such a people person that he has fun where ever he is and has never come home early fromfrom a sleep over. A month ago my husband and I went out of town and since we are new to the area we didnt have family for him to stay with. However a family friend of ours that I have known since I was 4, he actially use to babysit me, watched my son for 3 days. Not one a cry to come home. Guess it depends on the child but as long as our son is happy or having fun he is good at sleepovers.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

At age 5 my daughter slept over with good friends of ours. She had no problem at all. She's had sleepovers and camp outs ever since and it's never been a problem.

It depends on your child and the situation of the sleepover. I think it's good to be prepared to go pick up the child if there's any issue, without making it a big deal.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

Around first grade, age 6. It also depends on the children and parents involved.

I didn't have any issues with calling parents to pick up kids, or any calls for me to come get my kids. I did have a child who was a little terror, through a fit because I wouldn't let her eat breakfast in front of the tv.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My daughter has had friends over to our home for sleepovers from when she was about 8.
Then for HER to go on sleepovers at friend's homes, she was about 9.
She is 10 now.
This was with her friends... GOOD friends, and friends in which I know the girl and the parents/family VERY well. And have been in their homes myself.

My son is 6 and in 1st grade. I do not and will not send him to sleepovers yet. Though he has asked. I will not.
I explained to him, that when he is older, like his sister, then he can. He has no problem with that.

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

My older three have all had sleepovers. My oldest was 4ish (my best friend's house, but her son is my son's best friend), my second was 3 (again at my best friend's house, but different sets of kids), and my 3rd one was 3. On paper, it is very young. But they all went well and we had fun. They have now slept at other people's homes and had others sleep here. My oldest's 6th and 7th birthday parties were sleepovers. At this point, we've done many sleepovers, two sleepover parties, and they've slept at other houses. none of my children have called me and none of the children at my house have called their parents. I remember doing the sleepover thing when I was 5/6. In stating a recommended age, I would say kindergarten or first grade.

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

My daughter just had her first sleepover a few weeks ago and she is 5 and in kindergarten. Was a little sooner than I had figured but it worked out fine. Hubby and I had an evening out planned and our babysitter got sick at the last minute, so a neighbor friend of mine with a daughter the same age whose been friends with my daughter offered to have her over. I trusted them completely and once we were home, we were just 8 houses away, in case we had to come get her. DD did great - no phone calls, went all night, and she thought it was a lot of fun! If they are friends that you trust and your daughter wants to give it a try, why not?

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I remember our daughters first sleep over was in 3rd grade, so she was 8.

She did great.. She was there with her school friends.. most of them had been friends since kindergarten.. so they knew each other pretty well.

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