When Did You Start Letting Your Child Sleep over at Their Friends' Houses?

Updated on March 17, 2013
K.A. asks from Glendale, AZ
16 answers

Just curious - still gauging this whole neighborhood friend thing and I'm sure the sleepover requests are coming soon. I know all of the parents, but I'm not sure if we're at the level of trust or familiarity that would make me feel comfy with a sleepover just yet.

At what point were you comfortable with sleepovers?


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answers from San Francisco on

With school friends, around 8. But they slept over with cousins and family friends very early on, around 3 or 4.

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answers from Dallas on

My daughter, now 18, started around 5. I a;ways knew the parents.

She loved sleepovers and to this day, at least one weekend night I have 2-4 girls here. Some just hangout all weekend.

A lot of people in my area are not so paranoid about sleepovers.. they are a part of growing up that can be fun. As a parent, you just have to be smart about it, know the other family, etc. Many sleepovers my daughter had were just a few doors down or a street over, etc. We are a pretty tight knit community.

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answers from Dallas on

My kids are 11 and 16. To be honest I don't remember exactly what age. Whenever they asked is when we started it. There isn't a magic number. Some are ready earlier than others. When we moved to this neighborhood 5 years ago my youngest was 6. She has many friends in this neighborhood. Prob around 15-20. We never did the play dates where I sat with the mother for hours. We would meet for the first time and off they went to play. If i dropped off we would chat for a minute. So when it was time to sleepover I was already comfortable enough to sleep over or vise versa. All sleepovers have never been an issue for us. But again it depends on the child my daughter has one friend that is 11 and doesn't like to sleep at others houses. So my daughter will always go over there.

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answers from Grand Forks on

My older son went on a two night camping trip with his friends family when he was four. My younger son started going on sleepovers in kindergarten. They were even younger when they started sleepovers at the homes of my friends. I've never had any reason to distrust any of my kids friends families, and my children were comfortable with sleeping away from home.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Santa Barbara on

I allowed it when my daughter was four. Her mom and I were great friends, the girls were best buddies and 15 years later, they are in different colleges but we always reconnect for visits and holidays. This was a completely safe situation for us.

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answers from Chicago on

I was only comfortable with one neighbor after knowing them for about 6 years. Still to this day, they and one other family are okay for my daughter to sleepover at their home or their daughter to sleepover here.

Don't rush! I've told my daughter no plenty of times and explained why. If hubby and I don't know these people VERY WELL, the answer is no! I need to know the mom and everyone else who lives in that house. You never know, mom may have "Chester the Molester" for a hubby or a son. I'm just saying....I need to know everyone!!!

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answers from New York on

Depends on the child but not before first grade unless it is family or other close friends. I am not looking to deal with a cranky kid the next day. My son will be in kindergarten and he still gets up during the night frequently to sleep in our bed or me in his bed. So he is nowhere near ready.


answers from Norfolk on

My son didn't sleep over anywhere until he was in 4th grade (about 9 yrs old) and then it was a lock in at taekwondo with plenty of adult supervision.
He's never slept over at anyone elses house and he's never wanted to.



answers from Philadelphia on

I let my oldest daughter start sleeping over at friends houses in 7th grade. My youngest at 9 only because I know the parents pretty well. I did not let my daughter stay at a neighbors house because the kids were going to sleep in the basement that did not have an egress window. I still prefer that sleepovers be at my house where I know the doors are locked, the house alarm is on and all fire alarms and carbon monoxide detectors are in working order.



answers from Colorado Springs on

Funny this comes up today & I'm actually on this site today...my oldest (7 yr. old son) is at his first sleepover. It's a family we are pretty close with - they are very close to us as far as beliefs & parenting styles. He's been crazy excited for the past week about it too. Fun times :-)


answers from Los Angeles on

My dtr was in 5th grade and my son in 3rd. The first time for each and they were classmates and we didn't "know" the parents. However, I called and spoke to them in detail and thought I "knew" what to expect and we were all on the same page. Uh, no. Nothing really major happened, but for my son, the kid had 3 older brothers and they picked on him and made fun of him the whole time, he started crying when I picked him up and he got in the car. For my daughter, I asked if they were staying home and they said yes, I called around 8pm to check in, they were at the MALL. The mom was with them but still, I thought they were just hanging at the house. So no more unless we know the parents and kids VERY WELL.



answers from Portland on

My daughter was 9 and we knew the parents and kids well. My son is now 7 and he doesn't do sleepovers yet. I've noticed that most of the other first graders we know don't either. They both have done a couple of sleepovers together with family friends, but that wasn't a typical sleep over, since it's more like staying with family.



answers from Los Angeles on

Maybe at the age of 10?
Possibly older? 11 or 12?
Even though I'm comfortable with the parents, I still would be hesitant.


answers from Washington DC on

they did sleepovers with their grandparents from the gitgo, so my kids were never timid or afraid of being away from us. having confident adventurous kids was very important to us.
the first sleepovers with friends probably started at 5 or 6, with neighbors and school friends we had good solid relationships with.


answers from Chicago on

My oldest is 10. She has never slept over at anyone's house other than Grandma. I plan to keep it that way for her and my two boys.


answers from New York on

2nd grade; after having sleepovers with family members, after knowing the parents of the friend....

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