This morning my son’s preschool teacher told me, in confidence (which is how it will stay), that she’s been battling cancer since the beginning of the school year. She told me because she wont be in school next week and I (the only member of the parent committee) will have to run our first official parent meeting alone.
I plan to get a card for her today and one for when she returns but that hardly seems enough. My family will be praying for her and her family but what else can I (or we, as the parents of the class) do for her? A general note posted at the sign-out did informed the other parents that she'll be out, for surgery. Any suggestions would really be appreciated.
I agree with someone who said "keep asking her" She may not need the help now, but may feel differently in 1 month and wish she had accepted it. She will most likely not ask for it herself. The meals is a great idea. My dad had no energy to cook his own or to clean his house. Volunteering to clean every month would be a great thing! Cards are nice but what she really needs is help with the day to day.
Making meals for someone is always appreciated. Especially if she has a family so you take that stress off her. Even if she doesn't, if you cook for her, even a couple of times, it's that much less she has to worry about.
I would recommend just being there for her if she needs it. This is a touchy situation and it depends upon how close you are to her. Some people do not want to be constantly reminded of their situation, while others beg for sympathy.
If it were me and my son's teacher, I would just tell her I am here if she needs me in any way and leave it at that. (I am on the PTA and volunteer for many of the classroom events.).
This is a personal issue, so unless she comes to you again - I would just let it be and let her know you are thinking of her.
ADDED: After reading a few responses...When I am unwell, I do not want others to know what is wrong with me unless I tell them personally. So definitely keep her trust, and I would not do anything that would bring attention to her condition as that would indication there is something wrong. Especially if she has not told many others in the school!
Honestly a basket with some magazines or word search books and maybe some bath accessories would be nice (nothing too strong in case she doesn't feel well). I don't know what kind or what treatment but even some hard candies if she is going thru chemo would help.
I am not sure if she is planning on telling the other parents. I know that you said she mentioned it in confidence to you. My mom had cancer and the treatment made her very tired. If some parents could be sure to volunteer in the room or come in just to get some "prep work" done for her - such as cutting out shapes for activities, making examples, checking papers, straightening shelves, etc. I am sure that would be appreciated. I am a teacher and know how much time all of the "behind the scenes" work can take.
If you want to do meals, I would check to see if she is having any cavings, or repulsions from certain foods. Treatment can change the way that things taste for certain people and a dish they would normally like may no longer be appealing. Perhaps meals in small portions wouldbe good so she can freeze some for future days. Or perhaps have a rotation schedule where maybe paretns sign up to make a dish on Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays maybe.
Just keep asking. Sometimes people are hesitant to accept help the first time it is offered.
It is very thoughtful of you to look out for her :)
Arrange for families to sign up to bring her meals during rough times. Families can sign up to bring a dinner once during the week.
if she told you this in confidence she may not want the other parents or the school to know. I would check with her before I do anything public. You could do something that just involves you. But before going public I would make sure this is what she wants. Some people are very private and do not want others to know what is going on with them even in serious situation.
I sincerely hope since you were told this in confidence that
you didn't tell the other parents as it appears so in your
story. You could quietly give her a card of encouragement and say your prayers will be with her and her family, but keep her confidential information to your self.
healthy prepared meals, some in the fridge and maybe some in the freezer so she can just nuke them when she is hungry....house cleaning....extra help in the classroom....try to get a feel for how open she wants to be about this before spreading the word to ALL the parents
Not sure about funding options but gift cards for things to make life a lil easier - restaurants and menus w/ carry out, movies to allow escape from real life, ice cream cause that makes us feel better briefly :)
You could offer to bring dinner over for her/her family. I agree with Ann that just being a friend and showing support is a good thing. Maybe asking how she is doing on occasion to give her an opportunity to talk about it if she wants.
can parents volunteer to do something in class? not sure of the policies at the pre-school. everyone could take turns.
also, does she have a family - perhaps fruit baskets, baked goods, small meals for her family? that would be a great help especially if she is feeling queasy, etc.
send her "spiritual bouquets" notes & maybe drawings from her class so that she knows people are praying for her?
