Were You 100% Positive You Wanted Another Baby?

I was never 100% sure of anything in my life.

I don't think there is ever a time to be "ready" for child 1, 2,10, or 15. Kids change everything. And adding them on changes it again.

I had always wanted a huge family, since I was a little girl, but after my terrible pregnancy and very difficult infant first child I would have been fine to stop at just having her. She is 2 1/2 now and I just love her to pieces, she is so smart, funny, kind, beautiful, etc. :) But she is a lot of work! :)

My husband wants a bunch of kids still. When our oldest was about 15 months old I agreed that we could stop actively preventing pregnancy and kind of leave it to God if we were supposed to have anther child. I was pregnant with #2 about 2 weeks after this decision was made. God really wanted us to have another.

Baby #2 is now 5 months old and the most AMAZING creature God ever put on this earth. She is honestly a perfect baby. She was smiling the day she was born, and hasn't stopped yet, she started belly laughing at 5 weeks old and is just happy and wonderful all the time. Not to mention she has never slept less than 6 consecutive hours at night and will go back down like a dream. (she is now up to 11 or 12 consecutive hours, but was great from the get go)

Our family is now complete, baby 2 filled a void in my heart and life that I didn't even know was missing. I prayed during my pregnancy more than I ever had in my life. I still wasn't sure if we were ready as I walked into the hospital for my induction, I was so scared I wouldn't love her as much as my oldest and that it would be too difficult for me to handle.

I love both of my girls so much, but I can already see their differences and how I can love them the same and differently at the same time. They are wonderful together and already so in love. Thankfully right now she is a "free" baby for us (we have always used cloth diapers, I breast feed exclusively, and she wears hand me downs from big sis).

My girls are 25 months and 3 days apart. So they will be 2 years apart in school and I think it is perfect. My oldest potty trained when the baby was about 2 1/2 months old so I only had two in diapers for a very short time. They already play with the same toys, I didn't have too much with small pieces, etc that had to be put away now that baby is crawling. They hug kiss and smile at each other all day. I hope they stay as good of friends as they are now as babies.

In my opinion if you wait for more time, more money, more space, etc that baby will never come. :)

Since bringing another human being into the world is the single most significant decision I could ever make, I would not even consider trying to get pregnant unless I was 100% sure. That's just me. There are a million wonderful reasons for having babies, and there are a million excellent reasons not to.

I am really happy that I stopped with my one daughter. She was the perfect family for me, and we were close as she grew up. She's glad she was an only (except for a year during which she wished for a baby sister). Her son, at 5.5, is glad he's an only, too.

You just make a leap of faith. We kind of thought we were ready for a second, but had some hesitations because our oldest was showing early signs of ADHD and weren't sure we could handle two kids with the condition. We thought it would be a good experience for our oldest to have a sibling. No regrets.

I do think financial issues should be a concern. If you can't afford another child, I would hold off since you have the choice.

Ours are spaced three years apart. The goal was to have the oldest out of diapers by the time his sister came along, but that didn't quite happen. I think the right timing has more to do with whether you're ready for the juggling act than just how close in age the kids are. Fact is, sometimes you may want them to be close in age, but it's just not meant to be. I really don't think there is an "easy" way to space the kids. There are challenges no matter what, but it's worth it in the end.

Good luck with the decision!

I was sure when we started trying, and my son was 18 months old. When he was 9 months old I would have NEVER thought of trying for another. Our original plan was to wait until my son turned 2 to even start trying, but I got the baby itch a little earlier then planned and got pregnant right away. Now my son is 3 and my daughter is 11 months old and I LOVE having two. I feel like their age gap is perfect. It is a huge decision, but I think when you are ready you will just know. Obviously two is harder, but definitely not as hard as I was worried it was going to be.

The only one I absolutely 100% tried for desperately was my first. After that they all snuck in when I least expected it because I was busy with the others. I was always worried to have more because of money, time, high risk pregnancies, hubby etc. We have 5 and I wouldn't trade my life for anything in the world!! I'm so thankful for them all! I'm not sure if that answers your question or not. =)

I was scared to death. I was closer to 100% sure I didn't want another one, than wanting another one. But I thought about it and I really wanted my daughter to have a sibling and my husband really wanted another one and we always talked of having two. God was positive I wanted another one because he gave me two. I'm pregnant with twins. At first it was a huge shock as we only ever planned on two kids, but after the shock wore off, we couldn't be more excited and now that I'm pregnant, I couldn't imagine not having another baby. We were planning 2 years apart when we were pregnant with our first. We ended up waiting and they will be 3 years apart and I'm glad we waited. There are positives and negatives to having them close together and farther apart. You ultimately have to decide what is best for you and your family. I have 9 siblings, and while I'm close to all of them, I'm closest to the one that is 2 years old than me and the one that is 19 years older than me.

I have no idea how to make this decision, and like you, we did not plan our 1st. In fact, we were not supposed to be able to have kids, he was a miracle, surprise gift. As hard as it is to believe, we actually had three more after that, all of which were not planned. Basically what it comes down to is, I do not know if I am the person that would consciously sit and decide to have children. I love them SO much and have never had a more wonderful experience in being a mother, but it is BY FAR the most difficult, stressful, worrisome job I have ever taken on.

The one thing I do know though, is that closer together is much harder than further apart in age. My first 2 are 6 years apart and I just loved it. Just as my oldest was going to school, his brother was born and at home. I was able to dedicate one on one time with each of them when they were little and not in school yet. I didn't have two in diapers, or two that needed help on the same things at the same time. The oldest could help and be a big part of the baby and his needs with me. The last three kids were all almost exactly 2 1/2 years apart and it is much more difficult transition. I have two in diapers right now - painful, it's even worse to potty train when one is a baby. It is just harder when they are closer in age.

Good luck with your decision and enjoy!

I am going through my fourth pregnancy. My secound was the only one we planned. My oldest two are 3 years and one week apart. To me that is perfect. My oldest was out of diapers and a little bit dependant as far as wanting held and wanting to be a helper to his baby brother. My third is 17 months old and his brothers are 9 and 6. That age difference was nice too. My third and fourth will be roughly 23 months apart. I am due on March 1st and the current babys birthday is the end of March. I am dreading buying diapers for two and struggling with the fact that he is going to be forced out of being the baby. Everything will work out.
I bet right now you feel you couldn't love another the way you love this one. You can. If you decide to have more. Sometimes you know that you know you are ready for another and sometimes you just get the best kind of surprise ever! Or you could decide one is really enough. You are on the fence right now so just enjoy your sweet baby and when the time is right(or isnt') you will know. Good luck to you.

Mine are 3 years apart. In terms of money -- there will never be "enough" (and my DH brings home a 6 figure salary!). However, the 2nd is not as expensive as the first and if you love being a mom adding another just adds to the love. Yes, there is a little more stress and a little more work. But it is not 2x the stress and work.
As for siblings being friends, that is something you have to work at with them and foster with them. There will be times they hate each other, but more often than not, my kids love and care for each other.
As for timing. I like the 3 years apart thing. And now the baby years are behind us (no more diapers and potty training complete! are the things that keep me from wanting more too desperately). Plus, my younger one isn't too far behind for me to have forgotten what I learned trying to teach the older one.
It is a huge decision, but it's one I have not regretted at all.

He's only 9 months... take your time in making this decision!

I was 100% certain that I wanted another child. I wanted my son to have a sibling and for us to have the joy of "baby parenting" at least twice. My husband- could have gone either way.

What I will say is this... I was 100% sure I wanted one, but wasn't ready to have another one until now. Before now (3 years later) it would have been too much for us (new job, numerous deaths in the family, etc). When you're ready, you'll know!

To be completely honest with you from my experience, two kids are a lot more demanding than one. However, I wouldn't trade it for anything. You figure out how to make it all work. It's rewarding, challenging, scary and awesome all at once. Some days you don't know whether to laugh or cry, so you end up doing both!

I knew instinctively I had to have 2 kids. I didn't want an only child. I had 2 friends growing up who were only children and they always said they missed having a sibling to grow up with. For whatever reason, that always stayed with me.

Now after I had my first, I wanted to start trying for my 2nd when my daughter was almost 2. I wanted my kids to be about 3 years apart. We tried. It did not work according to "my" plan. It took me 2.5 years to get pregnant, stay pregnant, then have my son. I worried that they would not be close because of the 4.5 year age gap. They are tight - REAL tight. So just remember that your "plan" on how far apart might not always go the way you want, but that it is OK! My sister and I are 5 years apart, and we've always been close.

Being that mine were 4.5 years apart, I can't imagine having 2 kids in diapers at the same time, but that's me. My oldest was potty trained by the time I had my 2nd, so I didn't ever have to deal with that. It has to be expensive too! But we moms always figure out how to make it all happen and give our child or children exactly what they need.

Good luck with whatever you choose, and know that it was the right decision for you and your family. Not anyone else! :)

We were... Our first was unexpected too (i was 15 and my husband was 17), but we always knew that we wanted more than one. Our oldest was our whole world until she was 4, we tried to get pregnant but miscarried... We had our second when she was 5 and 1/2!! We couldn't be happier, but I wanted my 2nd and 3rd children to be closer in age so we decided to try again... We are due with our 3rd daughter Nov. 1st. (2 years after our 2nd)

I believe in having siblings because they teach you a lot about life, and as a parent I feel secure knowing that my girls will always have someone if something happens to my husband and I. I will be learning about the whole back to back thing, but a few of my friends have done it and swear by it, BUT they didn't get the break I did between my first two. It is nice to be able to take her to school and spend the day with the younger one alone like my first and I got to, but these two will have a buddy to play with...

Having more kids is up to you, but I really enjoy it, and to save money my husband and I have learned a lot about using cloth diapers, eating out less, making our own baby food, buying some used stuff (double stroller...), and finding cheaper activities to do as a family.

Hi,
I have four kids 8 ,6,almost 3 and 8 months old.I really enjoy 30 32 months aparts.My bigest gap is 3 years and 3 months and that was a big gap for me.my youngests are 27 months apart.And i like that closer spacing two but it can be a little more challenging (the reality is you have two really young ones that need your constant attention at the same time constantly so it can be overwhelming ).The advantages for me of two close in age is what could be disavantages to some others:
_Two in diapers ,That is actually easy for me than one in diaper and the other one in the potty training stage.(case of my two sons).
When they both in diaper you do not have to suddenly stop nursing the baby to take the other one to the potty immediately before an accident happen.You nurse and then you changed them both.
_You already sleep deprived you do not need to adjust again.
_When they get older (both toddlers or preschoolers) you can do gym class or whatever classes in the same age group .
_they do sleep (naps) at the same time after you worked at it.
_They learn the same things at the same time and that can be practical for you moreover if you do decide to homeschool.
They are usualyy close and have instant playmate .That can backfire too because of their ages they also fight a lot and play a lot together.
Benefits of four or more years apart:
oldest more independent ,they can just do their own things while you watch the baby.
They are usually old enough to use the potty all by themselves including wiping.At 3 you still have to help them wipe and sometime even at four which will still cut the nursing session.
They can watch the baby time you go to the potty yourself fast though.
When you need to cook or do something they are not litterally between your legs.
You can put a show on and they actually sit still and watch it moreover if they go to school as they are usualy use to sitting.
They often go to school so you are left which just one whch makes it easy until you have to pick the older one and wake your baby to do so.
Replace the words older kid with olders kids and baby with babies And here is a part of my life and some food for thoughts for you.
Hope this help N..

After my daughter turned a year old, we discussed it as we both breathed a sigh of relief that we could make it through the baby stage. Soon there after it happened quickly. Deciding on a third was even easier. You just know. I think when you give it no thought and are on the fence about it is when you try again because that's when it's likely to happen. All of mine are 2 years apart and I am so glad about that!!! One more year in diapers and then I'm free :)

My first son wasn't planned but very much welcomed. I knew that I wanted to have more children because I didn't want him to grow up an only child. I have siblings and so does my husband. But at the time my husband was very adamant that we were never having any more children. Everyone bugged him so much he become stubborn towards them. I finally had to tell the family to back off and maybe he will come around. Finally my husband came to me and said he thinks we need to have another child. I was so excited I couldn't stand it because my oldest was 4 at the time. They are 5 years apart. They love each other even if they were closer together and they have their moments of fighting with one another. My 7 seven year old helps out alot with little brother who is 2 1/2. At one point in my life I wanted more than 2 children but I am blessed to have them and wouldn't change the world. I would decide amongst you and your husband what will work for you and make that decision, but right now isn't the time you need to enjoy the baby. Our thing of only have 2 is we could have the money to put them in sports if they chose to. So good luck in your decision. I would wait a few years and make your decision, let your baby be a baby for as long as you can.

I wanted another baby, sometime. But it was a happy accident when we got pregnant with her. My husband didn't "want" another one (he was happy with just one) but he didn't "not want" another one either. My daughters are 2.5 years apart, and I think for us that is just about perfect spacing, still close enough to play, but I don't have 2 in diapers at the same time. The only downside is that my eldest is still young enough that I had to hold her and "baby" a lot while i was pregnant (for her comfort).

Because we didn't plan to have baby #2, we had to just adjust for her arrival during the 9 months I was pregnant. We slowly got gear for her and started potty training HARD with my eldest. we were lucky to have a third room, so she has her own nursery, but if we hadn't we would have just had to have the girls share a room.

The hardest part thus far has been that my daughter is going through a defiant stage, just as my baby is a newborn with never-ending diaper changes, feedings and such. Having 2 is a whole new world, and sometimes it tests me quite a bit. Luckily I was blessed with an "easy" baby, who doesn't cry or fuss unless she is hungry, wants held, or is wet (so far)... giving me more energy to expend on my older one.

So the short answer, I was 100% positive I wanted another one, but not when I "got" another one. It scared me to death both times I looked down on "two solid lines"... But i think children are a blessing and I wouldn't have it any other way!

-M.

When my twins were born I still felt as if our family wasn't complete. I knew the moment I saw them that I wanted one more. Now that our little girl is here, I feel complete!

The first time we were positive about the next one was with #4. Our first three were birth control babies. yikes! lol (yes, 3 different kinds of bc!) Looking back I am SO glad it happened that way, otherwise I probably would have spaced them further out. We now have 8 kids (age 12-1), ranging from 16mo apart to 2yrs 1 week apart. I LOVE having them close together! In fact I was a little bummed that #7 and 8 were going to be so far apart. :) My favorite spacing has been about 20mo apart.....young enough that they adjust really well w/out a lot of jealousy issues, but old enough to be a little more helpful. The 16mo apart is a little close, but not too bad.
One of the big advantages of having them close is that their interests are very similar. You don't have to worry about accommodating different age group interests as much, which may sound silly now, but can really be a challenge when it comes to family activities, vacations, etc as you get a little further down the road. Another bonus is that when you have them close they will often nap at the same time for a while, or you can stagger their naps and still have plenty of one-on-one time with them. :)

Hi--
My first was planned, but was a difficult baby. We didn't even consider another until he was 18 months old. At two he started asking for a sibling. I worked as a nanny and in daycares for years, and based on that experience I did not want two in diapers at the same time. My kids are 3 years, 8 months apart and I love it. The oldest was able to grow out of babyhood without being forced to grow up due to a younger sibling, and my boys play extremely well together. The youngest is a joy in every way and I'm glad we had him. I won't lie--it's definitely more complicated with more than just one, but it is also more joyous.
Good luck with your decision,
J.

We haven't always been sure on timing but I do feel 100% sure when I feel we are supposed to have another baby! We have three and one on the way. Financially it really doesn't make a huge difference (maybe college will be different). My children love having each other to play with and keep each other company. It's very sweet to watch the bond between them!

If you feel like you want another baby, the pros far out way the cons! And you will fall just as much in love with your second as you did your first! You'll love it!