Weaning from Breast, Binky and My Bed

I would say try to distact her. When she goes for the breast to feed offer her a sippy instead and just stay strong don't give in. She may cry for awhile but sooner or later (probably later) she will realize that she drinks from a sippy. As for the binky let her get used to no breast feeding first before you throw all this new stuff her way.

I would recommend getting the book Good Nights by Jay Gordon M.D. This book talks about night weaning, the family bed and moving out of it. It is a great book by a really great author.

W. Jones
Breastfeeding Educator
http://www.mosaicbaby.com

Hi D.,

I wish you could just forget to read or acknowledge your first reader Anna H. It is appropriate to wean your baby from the breast when you are ready. It is not unusual to continue bf in the United States until 2 years old. The academy of pediatrics says a real lucky baby gets bf till 2. So congradulations on accomplishing something alot of mothers are unable to do.
As for the bottle I would agree to wean from 12-15 months of age, or water only in the bottle. Bf until two is not going to cause nursing bottle syndrome that this women was talking about. It actually has been studied and found that Bf children have better jaw developement and less illness'. I can attest for that. I weaned both of my children at the age of 2. Is it a coinsidence that my first child developed double pnenomia within 1 month of weaning and was admitted into the hospital? I also weaned my second child at the age of 2, and she developed her first ear infection with in 1 week of weaning and it was not resolved until 6 months later when she had tubes put in.

How often are you nursing? Just at night? Or do you still include some time during the day. It is very difficult to work on all three items at the same time. The thing that concerns me the least is the pacifier. So, I would suggest leaving that to be the last one weaned from.

This is how i WEANED MY SECOND CHILD. i WOULD TELL HER 1-3 TIMES A WEEK, that when she turned 2 years old and we had her party she would be a big girl and there would be no more na-na's. na na's is what we called Bf to make it descreat. I would maybe substitute Christmas for birthday and just repeat this sentance maybe once a day. I found this to be alot easier than weaning my first. With my first child, at 2 I just said no more! I was more than ready to wean!!!! She cryed everytime I sat in the nursing chair, anytime she saw me naked, she cryed for over 3 weeks. I knew there had to be an easier way.
And even though my second child was the only one to sleep with me, she was still the easier one to wean. I just had to sleep with a nightshirt on instead of topless. I guess by reinforcing the comments about weaning and having a party on her behalf made her happy. She only asked for it 2 times after weaning. Wow! So much easier.
As for weaning from your bed. I would work on Bf weaning, then the bed and then the pacifier. The pacifier can temp. replace your breast. And unless you are dipping your nipples or the pacifier in a sweet materiel (honey, sugar ect.) it just doesn't cause the damage of nursing bottle syndrome. If you have any other specific questions feel free to email me a personal note.

H. B.

I don't want this to sound mean because maybe it's just how you do things but breast feeding should ahve stopped at 1 year and also bottles and binkys. your daughter is gonna have major teeth problems when she gets older and I know she is you baby and you want to keep her that way but jeeze!
By this age she should be dringking out of cups without lids. and not after bed time.

You're mentioning at least 3 changes. I'd take it slow, and do one at a time. To do all of them would be overwhelming for any little one.

I used a night weaning method with my daughter, she was 15 mo, we still nurse during the day, but not at night. It worked VERY nicely, it wasn't traumatic. I guess DD was more ready than I expected her to be. It's called "changing the sleep pattern in the family bed", and it is SPECIFICALLY for night-weaning toddlers 1 and over. I'd suggest doing that part first. then give it a few (2-3) weeks and start the next change, whether it is binky or transitioning to a new bed.

For transitioning to a new bed I suggest to do it slowly. Putting a mattress next to yours first, and helping her fall asleep on it, putting her back on it when she wakes at night, and the more she sleeps soundly on it, you can start placing it further and further away from your bed, until you do (somethimes the hall) the next room. Other bed-sharers I've known have just gotten a toddler bed, had their DS/DD help decoreate it, get them familiar with it, start doing naps there, and then the child him/herself has wanted to sleep in the bed without much trouble.

the binky weaning. I don't have any first hand experience with binkies, but i know some people cut them, others set a date in the calendar and together every day remind the child that the binky will be gone in X ammount of days, count down, and then have the child throw away the binky...etc.

It won't seem as overwhelming once you break it down, for you or your DD. Just take it slowly and do what is right for you, when it's right for you.

The site for the night-weaning article is
www.drjaygordon.com, under attachement parenting (look to the left on the main page to find attachment parenting). and again, it is called "changing the sleep pattern in the family bed"

hope it helps.

I would try and resolve one problem at at time. You want to re-establish new comforts for your daughter whenever removing an old one. Every child is different so techniques have to change accoding to the child. There is a book I have used whenever I am trying to adjust child behaviors like weanning or sleep habits. It is called the Toddler Whisperer and it is written by the author of the Baby Whisperer, it has great ideas, but leaves it open enough for you to decide which methods will work best for your little girl.

Hello D.! I am a breastfeeding mom who doesn't believe in the need to wean at one year and whose toddler shares our bed as well. I am a firm believer. I am also a firm believer that each mom knows when the time is right for her and her child to make changes in their lives as you have decided.

There is much advice out there suggesting the making more than one big change in a child's life at one time is overwhelming. I have personal experience to support this with even two less drastic changes pending. It doesn't work without a great deal of trauma for the child. I would ask you which is most crucial or urgent for you and begin with that one. Follow it through and wait a month or so before starting the next.

My 19 month old daughter is now almost completely weaned from the breast with only 2-3 quick nursings (under 5 min each) per day. One nap, bedtime and once in the night now and again. I am pregnant and hormonally I cannot handle more. Some tricks that have helped me distract her from less crucial times that she wants to nurse are: intense, quality time just before she normally asks. This has drastically increased that chance that she will rest with me without nursing or I can rock her to sleep peacefully without nursing. If we just rest I try to maximize the intimacy by holding her close, kissing her forehead and stroking her hand, singing or talking in a low soothing voice, looking into her eyes. Or if its a nap I do the same until she falls asleep. Going outside or downstairs into the playroom both of which she loves. Going for a ride or walk, visit a friend, changing the routine as far as not sitting in the chair I nurse her in but lie head to head so we can talk but not side by side in a nursing position, carrying her in the sling etc.

Anyway, there are also alot of resources out there in terms of attachment parenting that could help you. I second all that the previous entry stated about gradually changing the sleeping arrangements. Dr. Jay Gordon and Dr. William SEars are good sources of info on these subjects. i would also recommend the La Leche League website for weaning tips or to call your local La Leche League leaders. You can get there phone numbers for the La Leche website.

Good Luck!

I would take it slowly. One change at a time, these things are a big deal for your daughter. Definitely the breast feeding first, which I think will make implementing the other two changes easier. Also, I think Anna H. was very rude in her remarks. We are here to be supportive of one another, not judgemental. My two year old still uses sippy cups. It's not like the cups are in his mouth all day, only when he takes a drink, so I don't see how that's ruining his teeth.

Hi D., I have 4 kids and letme tell you they are all diffrenet, my oldest now 10 BF till she was 16 months old and slept in my bed till she was 4yr old, granted she got a bed cold within 2 weeks of me quitting but we handled it , i just told her she wants to be a big girl she can't have booby anymore and she was ok with that, my second daughter i had to quit at 10 months cause i had to have Emergency surgery and was in the hospital for 2 weeks, she has had problems i think because i didnt BF her for so long. MY Third child my lovly son didnt want to give it up so he BF till he was 18 months he fought with me about eerything till one day he just stoped asking me for it. my fourth child is 14 months and she is still being BF and i dont know if she is ever going to stop , she gets it at bed time and naps which is fine but she just got acold and wants it all night long, i guess what i am saying is its up to you and your baby . all of my kids have slept in bed with us my youngest and son still sleep in bed with us, sometimes even my 5 yr old comes and sleeps with us, i believe that children that sleep with you and have that bond are better people as adults. the comment about the teeth from Ann my kids have never had a teeth problems and i think that if they have teeth problems its from not brushing or they just have bad teeth genes. the only reason i say that is because my husband has terriable teeth and i dont so i am glad my kids have my teeth i guess is what i am saying.

About me i am a 35 yrold been married for 17 yrs and have 4 children 10--5--4--14months. i am a stay at home mom. i love hunting fishing and just hanginout with my family....... Good luck and dont worry everything will work and you will look back and say that wasnt that bad at all.... :O)

My dd still very much needed to nurse to sleep even after her second birthday.

I read the no cry sleep solution, and it provided TONS of tips for getting them to sleep, without nursing. Within a couple of weeks, I could put her to bed without nursing, wide awake and she'd lay quietly and drift off.

I can't sing the praises of the book! She didn't wean completely until 33 months, but that was our choice. The freedom for me a bedtime was bliss :0)

For weaning my son at night I just changed the routine. His dad started doing the whole going to bed routine and I wasn't part of it. He thought time with dad was great. Dad read to him until he fell asleep. (Now he stays awake, but he still prefers dad). And the other thing I did to avoid the middle of the night nursing was just wearing a long shirt. Suddenly it wasn't in front of his face and he stopped wanting it. I still nursed him at naptime for a while, but then stopped offering and he stopped taking naps.

My son stopped sleeping with us about the same age when we moved to a new house. His bedroom was now right next door. We'd put him to sleep in his bed. He'd wake up in the middle of the night and come into our bed. We'd go back to sleep. Repeat. Slowly he stopped coming in, and then if he started to we'd take him back to bed. Once in a while now he still wants to sleep with us, but then either he gets moved once he's asleep or I sleep in his bed. He's too rowdy at night for three of us in our bed.

Please ignore Ms. Anna who wrote to you because she does not know what she is talking about. Breastfeeding is perfectly fine until they are two or even three sometimes! (Although by that point it is ususally just once a day) I would agree with others who said to take it one thing at a time. The best order would probably be Breast, Bed, Binky. I'm not sure about the breast part, because my son weened himself at four months, but to get her into her own bed just make it into a really fun occasion! Maybe she can go with you to get the bed an pick out sheets with one of her favorite characters on them or something. Make sure you have a night light and offer to leave her door cracked. Do this well before you go to bed so that she won't be getting up to get in bed with you. Keep telling her how proud you are of her because now she is such a big girl! Every time she gets up just be gentle but firm about getting her to go back to bed. She may even cry a little a couple nights but you have to stand your ground on this if you want it to stick. After a while she'll love her bed, I swear!

As far as the binky goes I'm a believer in the cold turkey method. My son had it far too long so he was already potty training. I told him that if he threw away his paci's I would get him some big boy underwear. He went in his room, gathered them together, and threw them in the trash!!! I was in shock, but all you have to do is offer them some kind of irresistable trade like that and they won't think twice about trashing those things. It worked for me, anyway!

Good luck with weening. *** Ok, I just went back and read your message again. Are you saying that she is supposed to share a bed with her sister? Or does she have her own bed and share a room with her sister? Your request is very short and doesn't contain a lot of detail. A little more would make it easier to understand your situation.