Newborns & Infants/ Breastfeeding

My little one turns two in three days, and she self-weaned at 17 months. We gave her a sports water bottle (the kind with a straw, which is a very useful thing for little ones to know how to do when you go out and about, anyway). She could carry the bottle around with her, which really appeals to an active youngster. (We let her takie it to bed, too. It's in the same place every night, so she can have some water if she needs it.)I also gave her lots of cuddle time, but didn't forget "skin time." I'll bet, like mine, that your daughter's not just craving the boobs for a pacifier, she wants the comfort. So take a bath with your little one, or just rock her without a shirt (but with a bra - don't make it about nursing, just skin). Eventually, my baby got tired of nursing, because she had to be still for it, but could walk around with her water. Plus, she gets lots of skin time, so she's not missing that contact, which is really the most important part at this age, anyway.

Your "boobies" are your child's security. The need for security, different for each child because of personality and circumstance, is met by nursing, among other things. . .It's wonderful for a child's mental health if it can "self-wean," meaning when he/she's ready to wean, usually about age two.....Your daughter seems to be telling you she needs reassurance, because of your going back to work, the time constraints, whatever. If you refuse or are reluctant with nursing, you may well convince her that life isn't going to respond to her needs for reassurance, creating huge life problems. Can you do without some of your outside activity to give her what she needs? Or can you find time to give her more concentrated attention? Do you give her full attention, talk to her, make eye contact when she nurses?......She's telling you from her gut that she needs your focus.

Have you read, "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler"? It has quite a bit of information on weaning. There's also a book I haven't read called, "How Weaning Happens." Both might be helpful.

I finally weaned my 18 month old daughter and here's what I did. I went cold turkey. After three days, she was over it and never cried for them again. I know it sounds cruel but sometimes it's like a band-aid and you just need to pull it off quickly. Whatever you decide, good luck. Oh and by the way, my daughter used me the exact same way your baby is.

put some sour stuff on your breast and see if she'll want them after that incident. do not give into her. she's old enough to utilize a drinking cup... buy an ace bandage and wrap your boobs tightly and say your boobs went away!

HI! I know you got a lot of response already, but one more won't hurt/ I stopped nursing my son at 14 1/2 months and I just took his pacifier away about a month ago. I think He was usuaing nursing as a paci too because he would do it for like 10 sec. and hop down. It was very annoying. Anyways, this is going to sound horrible, but I think you should try to just stop cold turkey. Since she is ok at daycare, she will survive. She is probably just doing it more for cuddle time with you. My son now actaully cuddles and gives hugs and kisses where as before, it was only straight to the boobies! I wouldn't give her a paci unless you are ok with it right now. My guy was always wanting it but then spitting it out after a minute and throwing it somewhere. This was really fun in the car! So I cold turkeyed both of them. And it was hard, but he really was ready. The nursing was harder because you get engoreged agian, so I wanted to nurse him so I felt better. It was hard to sit with him and hold him, but he was ok. Have your husband or someone else try to do a lot of extra comforting too and spend extra time with her with things like games and playing outside or whatever activites don't involve sitting quiet where she will want to nurse. She will quit! And she will forget! And your boobies will stop hurting after all the milk is gone! Good luck!

This is going to sound kinda weird but my sister's son stopped nursing when he was almost three. She also struggled getting him off. she rubbed hot chilli peppers or salsa on n on her nipples. When here son went to nurse he was like, "YUCK" She said she told him that he was already to big and they milk was spoiled because he was a BIG BOY!!
He wanted nothing to do with the spicy nipples.

Lots of luck

My daughter was the same way. She was about 19 months when I said no more , I want my body back. She was also using them just as a pacifier . SO I went out and bought her different kinds of binkys, and refused to let her nurse anymore. Now let me tell you this was not easy. She had a pretty rough time with it , eventually she ralized that she wasn't getting them anymore and started taking the binky. You may not want to use pacifiers , I know alot of people don't like them but it worked for me . And my boobies are now mine again! :)

My doctor said that one way to break them from using you as a pacifier is by timing your feedings with them and then cut them off. Breast milk only comes out for the most 15 minutes per breast. Hope that helps. I'm having the same problem as you but my babie is only 3 months old. He wants to nurse almost every hour but a lot of times it is to pacifier..

This is going to sound really stupid, but maybe you could try covering your nipples with duct tape, or a bandaid, and telling your child that they are broken. I always weened my babies at right around 1 year, so I never had that problem, but my cousin tried similar things and it worked. With one of my children, I went away for the weekend. Somehow we all survived it, my husband with the cranky kid, and me with swollen painful breasts, but it was all over when I returned.

Congrats on bf-ing for 17 months! I have been through a number of rough patches where I wanted my boobies back, too. But I knew I wanted to nurse until 2, as the World Health Organization recommends, so that kept me going for awhile. When I started to think about weaning after 2 I read La Leche League's "How Weaning Happens." It made me want to try for child-led weaning, so my son is still nursing at 33 months. He needs reminders, but is much better at not tugging on my shirt, or waiting for me to be ready to nurse him if it's inconvenient. I have tried some of the gentle weaning techniques from the book - keeping busy, not sitting down at the computer when he's around, paying a lot of attention to him while playing or reading so he's not seeking attention through bf-ing. The book is chock full of ideas - I can't recommend it highly enough!

You may want to consider whether you want to wean completely, or if night or day weaning would give you some peace. If you choose night weaning, the book I mentioned above has ideas for that, too, as does Elizabeth Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers," & I believe a friend of mine used a book by Dr. Jay Gordon. I believe that crying it out is not likely to be a good solution and could hurt your relationship - I certainly would not start there.

Good luck,
K.
Mama to Milo

I would start teaching nursing manners. My dd is 23 months, and I have taught her to ask "Milk please." We started with having her sign milk when she was a little younger than your daughter before she would get to nurse, and then progressed as she got older.

Other things to do are to let her nurse until you finish singing a song. This gives you control over how long she nurses. If you would like her to wean, just shorten the song every week or so.

At night, you can go to Dr. Jay Gordon's, to look up his night weaning method. It is pretty gentle, it will involve some crying, but never alone, mama or daddy is always with baby. You may also want to check out Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers.

I have two children who were breastfed and had the same situation as you in that both of mine were very attached to nursing for comfort and didn't need to nurse for any other reason any more. They would wake many times a night, especially when getting in teeth. They would want to nurse just to know I was there. I approached both of my kids in a different way with this. My daughter I weaned at 16 months because I wanted to try to get pregnant again. With my son I waited until 22 months, much easier at this time as he was done teathing and could sleep more peacefully.

With my daughter at 16 months I followed my pediatitians advice. She said that for a week or so to take myself out of the situation. During the day I would keep her busy so she wouldn't think about nursing. At night, I would go unseen. We would pretend I wasn't even home. My husband would do the whole bedtime routine. Without me there, nursing wasn't an option. The first 3 nights she cried until she made herself throw up and then things got better.

With my son, I wasn't in such a hurry. I waited until 22 months when his teeth were all in and it was much easier. By this age I could talk him out of it and just cuddle with him when he asked to nurse instead. I would just say "no nurse, let's cuddle". That 6 months made such a difference. I really think it was the age, because he was even more attached than my daughter, and at 18 months he was nursing almost all night.

One other thing, both of my kids started sleeping with a sippy cup of water that they hunt for during the night instead of calling me. Of course, then you have to wean them off of that when they start sleeping in underpants and not diapers, but my daughter survived it all! Son is still only 27 months.

Good luck!

my son was the same way. i was really trying at 19 months to stop. i actually went away for the weekend and it helped. when i got back it was all forgotten. he does nto even try to underss me. maybe you can spend the noght at family for 1 or 2 nights to help her with the transition. although, i have not found a cure for him climbing on my lap as soon as i sit down though..lol!! good luck

I nursed my two girls until they were about a year. Does your daughter take a sippy cup at all? I would start slowly if you haven't already. Let her nurse in the morning and evening, for example. Give her a bottle or sippy cup in between. I would still be persistent - just give it some time. The closer they reach the 2 year old stage, the more stubborn & independent they become. So, my suggestion is to stand your ground and wean a little bit at a time. Don't be upset if she throws a fit, that's just their way of showing their independence. I have 4 kiddos and every once in a while they try to throw a fit (in public or at home) and they learn pretty quick that we don't put up with it. We don't give in. I hope that helps! I know exactly how it feels to want your body back. :) Let us know how it goes!

I would talk to her doctor as to how to handle this. She should be sleeping all night without needing a drink or food. Does she eat well? As far as her using them as a pacifier, she doesn't have a need to "suck" at 17 months old. My pediatrician once told me that when my 15 month old was still using a pacifier. He told me that was ridicuous in fact. He was right, so one day I just told him that he wasn't going to have it anymore and gave him a special blankie instead. It was just a security thing more than the sucking need. Maybe you could just nurse her at bedtime for a few nights and then quit that. It sounds cruel, but you may have to just let her pitch a fit until she accepts the fact that you are not going to nurse any longer. Be strong and good luck.

I agree with the gal who said offer a sippy cup when you are out in public. I know it seems late at 17 months, but don't discount the use of a pacifyer. If she will take one, give it to her at night or when she wakes up. I also agree with not running in to her when she wakes up and let her try to learn how soothe herself back to sleep. I recommend the pacifyer at this stage, so she doesnt' find her fingers and use those to suck on...those are a lot harder to take away! If you are using a baby-monitor, take it out of your room. She will be loud enough to wake you if she is crying full blast. Just try to give her longer and longer periods before you go in at night. good luck

D.,

My oldest self-weaned at 22 months, and my youngest just turned 21 months. She is still nursing, primarily at naptime (when she doesn't doze off in the car) and bedtime, and just recently, she's quit waking during the night (most nights, that is). On those odd occasions when she asks for it in the middle of the day, I try to offer an alternative, such as a snack or Ovaltine.

I've never been a fan of the let-them-cry method, be it for sleeping alone or nursing. Babies cry for a reason, whether they're hungry, wet, or just want some comfort, and I'm okay with that, because she'll only be a baby once. I suspect if you stick with nursing, you'll see a dramatic drop-off in the next few months, as she gains more independence and those teeth come in.

That being said, we all get to the point when we want our boobies back, and if mine doesn't self-wean in the next few months, I plan to help the process along gently. Another mom on here recommended using the nail bite/thumb sucking stuff. She told her son that her milk was yucky, and when he wasn't buying that and went for it, anyway, he found out that she was right. ;-)
I haven't tried it yet, but thought it was BRILLIANT!!

Best wishes!
M.

D.
I empathize with your situation. I have a 15mos old who thinks I sit only to nurse :-) and who wakes several times a night for comfort as well. He is growing and changing so much right now that I will not take Mama Comfort from him. Very soon though :-) I will transition him to a water bottle at night. I did this with #1 and it worked really well. DH and I are the types that get up and get water ourselves at night, so I never thought about refusing her the same. A sippy or bottle w/ nipple worked well for us.
As far as weaning...do you mean completely? or just at night?
If completely, I've heard it recommended many times to take away 1 nursing every 5-7dys - not for the baby, but for you! to help prevent plugged ducts. The extra few days will allow your body to produce less before you take away another feeding. If you do start feeling sore, there are many things you can do.
Also, don't just take away the feedings - replace it with something so there's not a hole left. Extra cuddles, a walk outside, a new book, a fun snack, a sippy with rice/almond milk, etc.

HTH
K. H, mama to
Catherine, 4y
Samuel, 15m

lots of good advice, although i wouldn't take the advice of the woman who said she shouldn't be waking at night and that you may just have to let her pitch a fit. that won't work and you'll just both be upset. i would bet that some of her nightwaking nursing is that you aren't home anymore. daycare is soooo h*** o* kids, especially one that young. she doesn't know how to verbalize what she's going through and you are her safe place to fall and to work things out as her brain is developing. start explaining to her that nursing is just for certain times a day. it may take a while for her to get it, but the closer she gets to 2 the more understanding she will have. i nursed my daughter until about 23 1/2 months. probably would have gone longer but i got pregnant and my milk dried up. she was very attached to them as well. pray about it lots! God is amazing and nothing is impossible for Him to workout. also just ask for patience with her. i know it can be so hard and trying especially when you're busy. but this time won't last much longer and in a few years you'll be wishing you'd nursed her longer :) ha ha.
good luck and i'll be praying for you as well.
blessings,
A.

D.,

I feel your pain! I just weaned my 17 month old. It wasn't easy but here is what we did..if it helps.

Oh, I am a stay at home mom.

First we got rid of the night nursing. I would advise not getting up in the middle of the night . Let her cry. I promise she will go back to sleep. If not...then hubby needs to go in. We have to do this sometimes. If I get near her she goes into "boob frenzy". We went through this last night. she is sick and was up in the night. At first she was fine with me. Then I sat down and it was all about the yank. I had to pass her on to hubby. He held her and she went back to sleep.

Back to weaning. Then we got rid of the am nursing. Belive it or not that was hard. We would do snuggle time in the am. Now it's up and down to Cheerios. Hubby really stepped it up her. AM is there time so he started to get and up and get her eating before she saw me. That really helpped.

Now...the last time to break was our afternoon nursing. This by far was the hardest. Being home alone we had this late afternoon time were she would nurse/sleep and I would hang out a watch a show or read. It was a GREAT hour. But it was time and I wanted my body back. It's been 9 days. She still grabs my shirt and we are still having moments of saddness but she is getting the point and I know there is no turing back.

I also noticed when I started to wean her she became MUCH more needy. So maybe there is a balance of wanting mommy which equals boob.

The biggest thing I can tell you is that she won't be nursing at 18 and that you can quick when it feels right for you. Don't let anyone give you a hard time. Just be strong and pull the boob away!

:)

Good luck. I know how hard this is.

I started with weaning in public and at night. We talked about how nummies are for when we are at home. It took a few times but my kids did finally understand. Maybe carry a sippy cup and when she asks offer the sipppy. At night I started offering a sippy cup or a bottle. Before I went bed I would make a bottle with very diluted juice and have it right there so my kids learned that at night when you ask for nummies you get juice.

Debra

She is a little young yet to wean, maybe you could hold out until she is closer to two years old. I would tell her no when I did not want her to nurse and give her an alternate time. I would also not allow her to pacify in the night. I might go in and soother her, give her an alternate time to nurse and then go back to bed. She will cry the first few times but she will get over it. They do love the breasts and I do know what it is like to want your body back. She will only be small once and in later years you will miss the cuddle time of nursing her. Think about it as if you only had today with no tomorrow promised and be patient.