Weaning an 18 Month Old from the Breast

Have you tried going to Love&Logic.com They have a 800 number so you can talk to someone on the phone. Good luck. MR

Eva,
I am the mother of 5 grown children. I nursed them all for varying lengths of time, depending on the needs of the child. My suggestion is to read La Leche's "womanly art of breastfeeding book". I would also suggest you listen to your heart. Noone but you and your child can know better than you what his needs are. I don't know who told you that you SHOULDN'T be nursing at night. People will should all over you, but you are this childs mother and you get to make those decisions, not other "wellmeaning" people. These are precious years that go by way too fast. RELAX and enjoy the fact that your baby still wants you! There are no rules!!! He is still a baby and independence comes from feeling secure!!
you will figure it out!!

First of all - I am so happy to hear that women are nursing and even more impressed that you are nursing past 1 year! I let my kids naturally wean. They nursed until they were 4 years old. You couldn't ask for more loving, secure and highly gifted and well adjusted people. The weaning process begins as soon as you introduce other foods into their diet. You can try replacing the feedings with food or just going to the park to play. The most important nursing times are when their tired and when they wake up. I was so fortunate to be nursing when my son had to get surgery around 15 months. As soon as he woke up he nursed and went back to sleep. The other babies in recovery were screaming and the parents couldn't console them with bottles and binkies. Our doctor walked by and smiled when he saw us quiet and nursing. I would especially keep nursing if your son is having temper tantrums. It completely calms them down. Many of our friends who didn't nurse or weaned early went through "terrible twos" - we never had that with either of our kids. I would recommend contacting La Leche League. They have lots of good ideas. I never became involved because I felt confident I was doing what was best for my kids. 10 years later I know I was right.
Good luck!

Hello, I have a 17 month little guy that is still nursing. I started cow's milk at 12 months and he HATED it. But, I kept trying EVERY day...and finally, about 1 1/2 months ago...he started gulping it. So, now, I only nurse twice a day (once at nap time and once in the evening) and am slowly weening him naturally. Basically, it took my little guy 4 months of offering him cow's milk every day for him to finally accept it. Now he loves it...so, that is my advice. My lil guy is SUPER picky and very stubborn (I am raising myself - hahahaha)...so, it may not take you as long :). Just keep trying as milk is an important source of Calcium, Vitamin D, Fat, and Protein. Breastmilk is high in fat which is great, but he still needs additional nutrients. Have you tried yogurt? My little guy thankfully LOVES yogurt, so I was able to give him a lot of yogurt to ensure he was getting the calcium/protein he needed.

That is awesome you have breastfed this long...congrats!!! It seems that my lil guy will probably be ready to go to breastfeeding once a day soon...and then eventually, he will be done :)

Hope this helps!!

I went through the same thing w/ my girl. We nursed until she was 2 all night long and got rid of nursing to nap at 2 1/2.

Here's what I learned...if I were you I'd eliminate one at a time starting w/ one nap or the other...whichever one matters least to you that he takes, b/c chances are, he's not going to sleep.

Also begin quiet time instead...reading books, etc...music, lying down...we set a timer...sometimes she slept :)

I'd keep nursing at night, as you can do that while working, and since he throws tantrums, he's etting you know, he still needs nursing to some degree. Going cold turkey probably won't give you or him much happiness, and it def. won't make him more independent, it'll do exactly the opposite.

If he'll take a bottle or sippy, try that and use that to helping him learning how to go to sleep w/ out you for naps or bedtime.

Also, take a few pictures, or draw and make a book describing the process of weaning. Make a plan and use the book to communicate your plan to your son. It's pretty easy and my girl loves het books, we use thses all the time and she's 3 1/2. It can be simple, like " mom used to nurse Mike to take naps." ( pic of him nursing) "but now we lie down and have books and nice music" (photo of bed, books and mike happy lying on pillows), etc...

finally, be patient with him and w/ yourself. You've put in a long wonderful tine of nursing...kudos to you!! as it isn't easy. You'll need the same strength and committment to ending that, and growing a new connection to your son. Best of luck!!

I nursed my son until he was two and I can relate to where you are right now. It may be time to start introducing a bottle again. I used soy milk, which went down okay, just not the bottle thing for a while. But when he wasn't given a choice, he reluctantly moved to a bottle. But never as he went to sleep. We worked hard to get him to sleep on his own and through the night. The temper tantrums sound familiar. We used distraction and if it happened at home, I left the room as he carried on. I would offer the bottle, and nothing else. Always with lots of love. He would want to nurse often and at inappropriate times, usually just for less than a minute, so I firmly, but lovingly said "no". And I had to stick by it. I think it was harder for me than him sometimes. Eventually, the demands got farther apart and he eventually lost interest. I introduced a cup as well, and he liked that very much. At two, he was catching on that it was a "big boy" thing.

All toddlers are stubborn, so don't be afraid of his tantrums. Just because he won't like change, doesn't mean it's not time for change. He'll adjust. But he'll also take his cues from you. The more confident you are, the more he gets the message that manipulation isn't as easy as it used to be. Toddlers love praise, so celebrate when he tries a bottle or a cup.

Also, talk to your pediatrician. Mine was enormously helpful. You'll get through this and you are not hurting him in any way. All children must be weaned from the breast at some point.

Best wishes,
B

Hi,
Eva, You may have a ways to go ...are you absoulutely sure you are done with the Breast ? That is the first question... and second, naturally there are going to be power struggles where this is concerned,,, you end up not only nurishing your child but offering them a comfort zone, so, ask yourself what your true desires are before you create change.... I nursed until my Daughter was three, and then had to let her know when she could understand , that we could still cuddle and have our bonding time , but there was no more Milk....(even when there was ..) this seemed to work, although, at this point even when overtired and sick she still tries on occasion, there is nothing wrong with a mother comforting her child, it's all what you are comfortable with ? and when you areready try to give chocolate or some other (warm ) milk in a sippy cup.... during the day he will eventually pick it up..... keep trying .. my daughter would not drink milk either until she was 2.5 she had enough yougert and cheeses in her diet to sub for the overrated cows milk thing... dont worry.. be patient... and soon he will see the light

Weaning wont make him more independent it's makes them more insecure if they are not ready. If you need to go back to work try sippy cups with breast milk, then keep nursing him at night. Eventualy he will give it up or refuse it. Dr. Sears recomends to wait until 2 before weaning. My son is 21 months and has started to refuse it when offered unless he is sick. My oldest I made him cry and beg and whine for it for a few days then he moved on to pinching my nipples and digging in my shirt and then he got really insecure and clingy at 15 months.

My daughter is somewhat the same way in the stubborn aspect and not liking other milk(s)... I think you have to remember that YOU are the one in charge. It's not easy weaning because we don't want to disappoint our child, but also remember they are blessed with long-term memory problems at this age! If you decide to start weaning, take away one feeding at a time for a week. I'd start with the middle of the night ones... He should be taking in plenty of other calories so that there is no need to wake during the night. The first few nights, there will definitely be crying and whining, as there will be with the other ones. Just stand firm. I think you be a lot happier when you accomplish this. My 22 month old is down to just two feedings a day - first thing in the morning and last thing before brushing teeth and storytime at bedtime. And we're working on those times, too...

18 months isn't so late for weening, you could just let him nurse a little longer and not worry about it...or my friend put a little cayenne pepper on her nipple and it only took her child one try before she didn't like to nurse anymore. Some might think it's a little harsh, but it worked....good luck.

Sorry Eva, I know its your first child, and they ones you spoil the most, at 18 months old he should be eating more baby food and not so much the breast feeding, he should be sleeping through the night at this age, if he wont take a bottle try a reward system with lots of praise, for taking sips off the sippy cup, or start giving him drinks off of yours, He will break the habit but only if you dont give in, it takes three straight days of being firm, each day the temper fits will be shorter & shorter. Talk to your doctor,

Hi Eva,

My son Justis is 22 months and had a hard time weaning too. Take heart it was at 19 months! He never drank more than three ounces, one time from a bottle. He was five weeks old then and my sister, (PTA Pres., scout mom, Director of Music ministry at church, and massage therapist of twenty years cradled him tightly to her, massaging him against her, cooing and singing and telling him,"I know it's kind of different, huh? But, see little dude good things CAN come from other places! Now, you let Mom go to the store." She flew back to Minnesota a few days later with no further success, and we never got him to take more than an ounce or so trying different nipples every month and getting rid of the ones that "weren't accepted" as to avoid any confusion for us or him once we found one that he WOULD take. We tried every kind of formula on the planet, nope. He has type O blood, and doesn't do really well with a lot of dairy products. Yogurt in a tube, cool but messy. The pro-buggies in the spout tops, AWESOME!!! MILK? Horrible flatulence, and wildly unpredictable and EXPLOSIVE poo. Ick. He finally LOVES the Edensoy Extra Original Flavor(Fortified Soy Milk) I love it because it has as much calcium, A,D, etc... as many of the transitional formulas, but it tastes good, comes in shelf stable packaging and it's totally organic, non-GMO. :)
As far as getting him to take the cup, as long as he's not mean to you in the process, wearing inaccessible clothing and taking my sister's lead in cradling him tightly and massaging his legs and feet and head while reading and gently encouraging that he try the cup, and having one available at all times for him,(changing cups every four hours or so) was the most effective. Having anyone else that is willing do the same, helps even more. We were done the night my son woke up at an uncharacteristic hour, 11:30. I had still been giving him one feeding during the night, but not usually until 3, a.m. Our doctor had said that he was old enough and gaining enough to give him a cup of water at night and we had had some sucess getting him to take it and lay back down to sleep. I had been trying to get him to lay back down without nursing, but still allowing him to co-sleep or be in his crib next to our bed, where it is still ONLY because we have a tiny two bedroom house with my teenage daughter,(Who, by the way was done with that boob thing the minute she got accustomed to her bottle at two and a half months. I pumped for another month, but it was hard to do and took forever and I wasn't able to yield a lot. So since she was thriving on the formula that she had been introduced to, I let go. We still snuggle sometimes even though she is totally 13.) He didn't want the water and wanted to nurse so badly that I did offer my breast and He BIT ME REALLY HARD. I jad to cover my breast and my husband got the boo-boo ice pack for me while I tried to calm him down and get him to take the water, but he started hitting me with it and screaming and having the worst tantrum ever. I slept on the couch and Daddy took over.
My husband took over for a week with putting him down for bed with his water bottle and putting him back down when he woke up. He fussed for thirty minutes the first time and no more than five minutes after that.
Our bonding hasn't suffered one iota, becuse I still take the time to nurture them both during feedings. When he doesn't need the closeness and intimacy of feeding and becomes a more independant toddler, you'll be able to enjoy getting out from under him as it were... GOOD LUCK!!!

Hi Eva. I think this may need to be tough love. As a first time Mom you hate to see your little one crying; but believe me even at 18 months, boys (and girls) KNOW how to manipulate. There are two issues here - the first is getting him to sleep at his bedtime (routine, routine). When my two girls were playing games around sleep time, I was advised to do the following and it worked a dream! (though prepare for 2 or 3 evenings of hell !! You have to gut up to do this, but it won't harm him in any way; but it will break the routine you have got into):-
Feed him and then lie him down at bed time in his cot; pat him, kiss him and say goodnight. He'll cry, shout, have temper tantrums, but IGNORE him. Go back in 2 minutes later. Don't pick him up, but pat him, tell him you love him, settle him for a minute and leave again. This time wait 5 minutes. Repeat, lengthening the time by 5 - 10 mins each time. Ultimately he'll fall asleep. Do the same again the following night. You must also make sure that your partner is on board with this. Make sure baby's not got any basic discomforts (eg dirty diaper, hungry, sick)when you do this. I pormoise you it works. It did for me and all my girlfriends - you just need to be strong and self disciplined.

In terms of nursing, well done for nursing him til now. It's important that he learns to take a bottle or sippy cup now and becomes more independent, for your sanity as much as his development!If he's hungry / thirsty, he'll drink and you are NOT being a bad mother in weaning him.

Good luck and be strong !

Well, I too was just like you when my little man was 18 months. Mine also will not drink milk or even breastmilk from anything other than me. He is 27 months now and he just started sleeping 8 hours with no nursing. I think at about 18 months, he was still getting up every 2 1/2 - 3 hours for milk and I had enough of it! So I would nurse him right before he went to bed and then when he woke up at 2:30am I would tell him he could have more in the morning and would offer him to lay on my chest. We had a few bad nights of crying but eventually he stopped waking up before 5 or 6. That was a tremendous relief. Now, once in awhile he will wake up wanting more and I will offer him to lay on my chest or I will tell him that I am going to go back to my bed. He usually takes the chest after that maneouvre. He rarely goes to sleep without falling asleep nursing...bad move on my end...but recently I started getting him to eat as much as possible before going to bed, then he will nurse a little but he will be full, so he will stop. Then I talk to him or sing songs or let him lie on my chest. Hopefully that will gradually get him to realize he doesn't have to be nursing to go to sleep.
I am pregnant in my second trimester now, so everyone is telling me I can't nurse him, but weaning him before he was ready was stressing both of us out, so we are back to the gradual way.
I know this may not have been much help, but most toddlers will wean themselves between 2 1/2 and 3 years old, according to the experts....I am hoping they are right because I really wanted a break before I start with #2!!!!!
Just know that your child is better off having breast milk all this time, not to mention your closeness. I wanted to do it 'til he was 2 (until his immune system was fully developed) but it doesn't always work out the way you thought. If it isn't aggravating you then just be patient, it is aggravating you, then you do need to stop.
Sorry, I don't have more of a solution...
T.

Hi,
I nursed all of my three boys until ages 2-4. The easiest transition I had was my first. None of my kids ever had a bottle. With my first son, I did it "cold turkey." I dropped of my son at my mother's house for three days. When I returned, we never went back to nursing.

The others, I told them it was all gone, and I still snuggled them, making sure there was no rejection involved. I told them they were big boys and were no longer babies. Don't stress about it. They will pick up that stress. If you associate rejection, fear or negativity to stopping, they will see it as such.
Best wishes to you and your son.

Hi Eva S,
I nursed my son for 20 months and too did not know how to stop. It was a hard habit to break for both of us since I enjoyed it too. Since nursing for the most part took place in my bed I stop allowing him in my bed around the time he would be going to bed. I also turned nursing time, which was mommy and baby time, into story time which could also be just our time. I started reading stories for about 45 min every night. It was difficult for about 2 weeks for both us. I seemed to go withdrawls just as much as my son did. After about one month he no longer wanted to nurse. Now my son is 4 years old and story time still takes place every night. My son has benifited from the reading and is very smart for his age. Hope this helps. Tracie

You could get pregnant again (Ha ha). My first three weaned themselves when I got pregnant with the next one--apparently my milk changed drastically. I could tell they wanted to nurse, but it just wasn't the same. My fourth child, however, did not have that incentive and he nursed until he was 18 months old. About that time I realized that he was getting very little of anything from me--he just liked being close to me. The feeling was mutual--that is why he got to nurse so long. Anyway, I just decided it was time and first took him down to before bedtime and nap time. Then I just started saying, "No-we're all done." It sounds harsh, but they really are old enough to understand at that age. It only took a few days for him to adjust. The biggest step is just deciding that you are ready to wean him.

As for alternatives, I offered my children watered down juice for a time. I don't like to give them cow's milk until they are two, but you could always try chocolate or strawberry milk if you think he might take it. My youngest (the fourth) is three now and I will let him have a sippy cup of juice at nap time, but only water at bedtime. I hope this helps.

You need to just let him cry it through...I didn't get this advice until I had my 3rd baby. She would always wake up to nurse and so I started bringing a bottle of water to bed with me and when she would wake up to nurse, I would give her the bottle which she hated. I did that for a couple of nights and then after that, she slept all night long. It was great. Good Luck!!

Let your baby self wean. If you want your baby to be more independent let him nurse- he will only become more clingy and insecure if you force wean him before he is ready. Nursing is the best thing you can give your child. Not every woman can nurse- cherish your time and know that your sacrifice now will give you a better adjusted child later. Children have a sucking need that lasts for 3 to 4 years. Remember, Other cultures nurse that long!! When you go back to work he will nurse less anyway cause he will be away from you. Don't take yourself away and his security nursing! Just my opinion, of course-
L. T

First wean him from nursing before sleeping by reading to him instead, snuggle with him and let him know that he will not be getting the breast, that you will be snuggling with him instead. He made get upset, pull at you, etc but remain firm, tell him you love him, that he's a big boy now and big boys don't need to nurse to go to sleep. You can still hold him close. At this point he should be drinking from a sippy cup, take him to the store and get him a "special" one that he gets to pick out just for this occasion. He doesn't HAVE to have milk, you can find alternate sources of calcium, maybe just some water in the cup.
You can gradually cut out the other nursing times by keeping him occupied with other things, go to the park, play a game, find something he loves to do. YOU must be firm with him though. 18 month olds know how to get what they want, they are very smart (I taught that age for 3 years) but remember YOU are the Mom, make a big deal out of it and so will he, take it easy and and he will follow your lead. Don't stress, they can feel that and he will be more stressed because of it. The key here is distraction, read, play, talk, walk, distract.
I nursed 2 of my 3 kids, one until 13 months, the other to 15 months. You can do it!!!

Eva, I understand your situation, I nursed my daughter until she was 19 month. I decided to stop when I suspected I might be pregnant again (I was right). I really enjoyed nursing my daughter but also felt it was time. She still nursed at naps, bedtime and when she woke during the night. She never would drink from a bottle either. It took about four days to wean her completely. Day one I started cutting back the length of feedings and eliminating feedings. By day two and three I only nursed her once or twice, when she wouldn't sleep I would bundle her up and drive around in the car until she fell asleep. My milk dried up fast which was a blessing. I told my daughter the milk was all gone I even let her try to nurse twice after my milk was gone. I think she finally figured out it was gone and didn't try to nurse after that. The funny thing is once I stopped breatfeeding my daughter would actually take a bottle. In the end there were lots of tears hers and mine over those four long days but it was worth it. We survived and she has turned out to be a very independant little lady. GOOD LUCK!

There are no rules about when a toddler should be weaned, only silly generational ideas. I'd say keep on nursing him! Bet you 100 bucks that he will stop on his own in the next 6-8 months when his sleep phisiology is fully developed, and he is so acitve during the day (yes, even more than now!) tha he will crash for 10 hours at a time. Nursing does NOT make children dependent or anything like that. Read the science from the World Health Organization research before you give in to silly cultural ideas. Trust your gut, what you are doing is great. Alicia, the doctor :)

I too weaned my daughter at 18 months under very similar circumstances. She was very upset at me, and unfortunately I don't think anything will change that. I did cut down to just at bed time, so she got used to not having it through out the day, and that helped a bit. However the chalenge was then getting her to sleep, which was stressful on the both of us. I found myself walking around rocking her to sleep, then lying down with her until she was completely out, then sliding off the bed:) I found a couple things helpful as far as drying up my milk-ouch. You can purchase sage tea, which will slow production, and also parsley. I would take fresh bunches and juice it with apples. You may want to start that in advance of the actual weaning, so he may start to slow down on his own if the milk does. You also may want to express your milk in the shower to avoid engourgment. He doesn't need a botle, and that is one more habbit to break-maybe you can pump milk and offer it in a sippy cup-or what ever he will drink from, instead of the breast. Hope some of this helps. Let me know.
Good luck!
-N.

Oh, you poor woman... I nursed till 11 months, and i decided that was enough.. he was getting too big, not sleeping through the night still, and i just felt weird whipping it out on demand... Basically, my thing was, that when one person in the game doesnt want to play anymore, its not fun for eather... I did it cold turkey... just one day decide to be done, and stuck to it... I tied myself with an ace bandage (a super large one, to stop the milk flow), and when he reached for the boob, they werent there anymore... and yeah, there were a few tantrums, but a tantrum never killed anyone... if he doesnt have a tantrum about this, he'll have it about something else...there are books for weaning you can get for kids too... we went to a store, and bought a special "big Boy" bottle and bought him stickers of cars (thats what he was into at the time... his first few words were mama and car)... and every time he drank from that bottle(or sippy cup probably since your kid is older... Dont do what i did, i went from boob to bottle, and then had to wean him off of that too... so i had to do it twice...), you can put a new sticker on every time he drinks it...
Basicaly, my advice to you is JUST DO IT!!! set your mind to it and DO IT!!! you'll be in hell for the first few days, and then he'll forget it ever happend... thats the beauty about kids.. they forget... and you might get a good night's rest.....

The biggest help of all for weaning my kids was having my husband take care of the kids during their usual nursing time while I went window shopping or grocery shopping or whatever. I made myself unavailable to my babies. I nursed all my babies during the night...I don't really think it's a big deal, it's between you and your baby and if that's what you want, don't let anyone make you feel that you are doing it wrong.

Dear Eva,
It always makes me so happy to hear about another mom who continues to nurse for their child's comfort. I think you're great for still nursing him when he wants you!! Re: weaning, I can only tell you about my experiences, and hope that they help. I nursed both of my children till they were 2 1/2. Neither one of them at the time wanted to wean themselves, but with each, there was a reason that I needed to, and I kind of worked it, so that it was their decision, too! At that age, I was able to use distraction/bribery. I don't remember what I used with my son, but with my daughter, we talked several times about stopping, and then one day, she wanted me to buy her a stuffed dog that looked like Toto (she used to dress like Dorothy), and we made a bargain that had something to do with her being a "big girl", and having Toto, and stopping "numa". She agreed - she decided that she was ready - but she was twice the age of your son. Eighteen months is probably a little young. Mine would not have been ready to stop at that age. I have to agree with another person who wrote in, about how secure and independent children become when you do continue to nurse them. And there isn't anything wrong with nursing at night. And nursing is the most loving and convenient way of comforting a child! Just lift up your shirt, connect for a couple of minutes, and voila - the perfect mommy comfort! I also, now have 2 teens, who are confident, secure people, who are also, still bonded with me. If that makes sense! I would encourage you to not quit for the reason of creating independence. It seems to work the other way around. More time spent nursing, creates more secure and independent children. With my daughter, I made the mistake of giving her a bottle, after I weaned her, and then she was addicted to a bottle for a long time. If you really must stop, for you, then getting him to drink from a sippy cup is better. But don't listen to anyone except yourself. You know what's best. If, in your heart of hearts, you don't want to wean him, but just think that you should, then please don't. It will happen naturally, when it needs to stop. Even when you go back to work, nursing will be a special time that you two have (and that he will need), when he is missing you for so many hours during the day. But as I said before, you have to do what feels right for you. Good luck.

Hi Eva -
I breastfed my son until he was 15 months and finally got to the point you are at where I was ready for him to become more independent. For me personally, I had a harder time with the transition than he did. I was having a hard time letting go and worrying that once he was completely weaned, he would not be as attached to me like he had been. The way my husband and I decided to do it was have him put my son to sleep at night and get him up in the morning. The first couple days of this were a little tough, but after about day three, he was fine. We wore him out each of these days too, so that helped him fall asleep quicker. If he asked during the day, I would tell him he was a big boy now and nursing was for babies. Within a week, he wasn't really asking anymore and I was even able to resume putting him to sleep and getting him up in the mornings. The key is for you to be strong yourself. If you give into him, then you'll be back at square one again. During the first few nights, I literally left the house while my husband put him down. This made it easier to handle. As for the milk, my son didn't like milk either. But, I still would give him a sippie cup of milk every morning and evening and it just became a routine that he finally started drinking it. Occassionally, in the beginning especially, I would offer it as a "treat" and make him a milk shake with real fruit blended into it or mix sugar free strawberry or chocolate Nesquick powder into it. This made him feel like he was getting something special and also got him accustom to milk. Now he asks for milk on his own and loves it! Hopefully this helps! Good luck to you!!

A little about me:
Son of a 2 1/2 year old and expecting a second child in April.

I'm in the same boat! I nurse my daughter to sleep and wouldn't be able to do it any other way! Would love to hear anyone's advice!

My son took his last nursing at about 2 1/2. I just gradually gave up one nursing at a time. For naps I drove him in the car. For nightime, he got a sippy cup of water by the bed. He seemed to need the physical contact more than the liquid so he would touch my tummy to fall asleep. When he finally was done with all nursings we worked on my leaving the room before he fell asleep. We had a routine of bath, book, best & worse, then a kiss. I left when the clock chimed a certain time. --T. L

I didn't wean my daughter until she was 20 months old, and it was almost the exact same situation as you have described! I was nursing her at nap times, before bed and during the night (2 times still!!!). I took the advice of my pediatrician, which was to cut her off from the breast and offer her milk or calcium fortified juice. I did this, and it worked! The first nap that she didn't nurse was hard because she was crying for it. That night, though, I told her the milk was "all gone" and she was able to accept that. She didn't drink milk well for a couple of months, but I just kept offering it, and now she asks for it (with a little bit of flavoring, but it's better than nothing). My daughter also didn't drink from a bottle ever, but she would drink from a sippy cup. One of the best parts about weaning her was she started sleeping 12 straight hours at night, and I was getting a good nights sleep, which made all the difference.

Firstly I am a product of being a teen in the 60's so I am fairly free in regard to breast feeding to a degree.
I feel that if you are comfortable with continuing to breast feeding then go ahead. Although if you are wanting to wean your son, then you may want to start with a sippee cup with water in it, or diluted juice. Only a small amount to start with and perhaps at meal time. When you serve your son milk or milk alternative is it cold? Breast milk is not cold, rather body temp. Perhaps bring the milk to room temp and try it too in a sippee cup.
As for the temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way, I believe that the temper tantrum should be addressed in a healthy manner as most likely he will use this source in other areas that he does not agree with you on.
Quite frankly when my oldest son had a tantrum, I walked away and waited till he approached me. Of course he was not out of my site.
I hope this helps.
N - Walnut

hi eva
i nursed my son till he was 25 months. i got pregnant and had to stop nursing due to the pain it was causing me. i took my son to the store and let him pick out his own night time sippy cup. i told him that he couldn't have "boobie" at night any more. when he woke up in the middle of the night, he was given his sippy cup of water. during the day, i would just make it unavailable. if he asked for it, i would offer him a snack. about a week later, i told him that mommy had boo boo's on her boobies. he helped me put band-aids on my nipples (sounds crazy, i know). from then on, he stopped! it worked like magic. on occasion, he would ask me if he could pet the boobies. once his sister was born, he asked to nurse, i let him once or twice. he never asked again.
t

I weened a couple of months ago at 21 months. I really wished I had weathered it out through the cold and flu season because she has been sick ever since... but I digress. It really helped us to change things up. Different routines, different places and distractions, daddy bedtimes every other night in the end. Also we were gradual eliminating 1 at a time then every other day at the end she was only nursing like once every couple of days. "The nursing mothers guide to weaning" helped me. Good luck... 18 months is a hard time to take anything away. Also from my experiences I don't think you'll make him "more independent" by weaning. He doesn't need a bottle at 18 months try a regular cup or a straw cup. Kudos for making it to 18 months!

First of all, who told you that you shouldn't be nursing at night? That's one of the most important times (and by the way, when a child is weaning, one of the last to go). It's very difficult to wean a toddler. You need to either wean earlier or let your child wean himself. Nursing gives your child security and independence, not the other way around (ie: taking it away, weaning). At his age he should be able to use a cup or sippy cup. Why do you need to give him a bottle? At his age he is nursing for comfort and closeness, not nutrition. Don't you get it? I have a 16 year old son who nursed till he was 4 (he weaned himself when he was ready). He is very bright, independent, secure, confident, and always has been. I have an 8 year daughter who nursed till she was almost 5 (weaned herself). She is just like my son. It is very rewarding to let your child wean him/herself. That doesn't mean going out in public and nursing a toddler. You do it at home, in private, and probably for a minute or two when they wake up, and a minute or two when they go to bed. I don't know what town you live in, but wherever you are, there is probably a local chapter of La Leche League. I suggest you contact them for help and information, and support, and to find many, many women who are nursing their toddlers and finding it very rewarding and the right thing to do. Good luck!

Dear Eva
Sounds like you have had a lot of great responses so far. I remember promising myself if I can get through this I can do anything- I felt like it would be the hardest thing in my life. I nursed my son until he was 20 months old I think. I was having a surprise party for my MIL and didn't want to have to be nursing him anymore. I did enjoy the closeness we ahd but knew that didn't have to go. And your child may not be ready or you may not be. I WAS SO READY WHEN I DID IT! There was probably 3 or 4 days that were hard then it was fine- I eliminated the other nursing times first-then I told my son there was "no more milk". HE never took a bottle-or a pacifier I tried to get him a pacifier for a little bit I introduced a lovey to sleep with and cuddle. I made sure he still had some time to be close but wore clothes that he couldn't get to nursing. IT was not as hard as I thought it would be I really think it was harder for me than for him.

HE also would not drink milk (reg) so I used rice milk and mixed it with cow's milk. IT did take some time to really get him into milk but I made sure he had yogurt. I know it's so hard but not forever!
Congratulations on doing the BEST thing for your baby and nursing over a YEAR HOORAY FOR YOU!!!!

There is nothing wrong with nursing your child this long, some say that it is healthy and makes a stronger bond with the mother and child. I think first you need to decided why you want to stop, is it so you can go back to work, is it so he can go to day care, is it taking time away from your daily routine and or your time with you husband or has someone told you it is not right to nurse this long. All are good reasons. From you note it looks like you have made the choice. There are several ways, you just have to fine out which one works for you and how much you want to stop.
1. You’re the mother and you need to show him you can be just as stubborn as he can. It is much easier to give in to a temper tantrum and to lesson to one. Stop giving in, you are showing him this is the way thing get done. I throw a fit and mom gives in. Temper tantrum hurt moms more then the child. Children learn this early on and we as mother hate to see our children cry. If he is still in a crib, remove everything (toy, pillow, blankets, etc.) that he can throw, and when he has a tantrum, show him that when he does this he will be placed into another room away from mom and not get to have this time with mom. I know some do not like this way because they say it makes bed a bad place not a happy place, but if you have somewhere else that you can place the child, (so that he can't get hurt) then use that. But once your son stops the tantrum, get him and give him a sippy cup with breast milk, or anything else that he will drink, and set and hold him while he drinks that. If he starts the tantrum again start over. It won't take long for you son to figure out crying away from mom, stop crying get to be with mom.
2. Change the routine if you breast feed him at the same time everyday, stop. Change his nap time, change his bed time, and change your habits. You have been doing the same thing for 18 months of course he know when you are going to do it. Or instead of change, if you nursed for 20 min, only nurse for 10. Don't let him fall asleep while nursing. Stop and place him in bed before. Just shorten the time a little each day.
3. I have know a few people that have put nail stop bite, lemon juice, or something bitter on there breast to make it not a happy place to camp out and he will think that you have gone sour. Lol But don't use that same bitter taste every time or he will get used to that too.
4. Just relax, it will happen when you both are ready to stop it will stop. By the way you will miss it when you do.

Any way hope some this helps

Good luck

Just another mama

My daughter is 17 months and still nurses, however she will drink milk now and we've been giving it to her since she turned a year old.
First off, breast milk is sweet. Regular milk isn't soooooo.....
At first our daughter wouldn't drink it but I bought Nestle Strawberry Quik powder and put some in it and put it in a cup. She drank the whole thing right off. Little by little we reduced how much we put in it and now she'll drink plain milk. I know it's sugar and I usually try not to give too much to either of my kids because of weight and dental health but every once in a while isn't too bad.
I haven't tried weaning entirely myself yet and don't plan to anytime soon but we only nurse now once in the morning, in the afternoons and just before naps and at night just before bed. When she's sick we nurse more. I haven't night nursed since she was about a year old though. To cut out the night nursing, I had my husband go to her when she woke up. She didn't expect to nurse when he came but if I did, she immediately expected it. After a while of this, I was able to go if she woke up.
Now if she does wake up in the night, she doesn't act like she needs to nurse anymore.
Anyhow, hope that helps.

My daughter was very much the same way. I just kinda went with it, and right around 23-24 months she let it go on her own. I know this sounds kinda strange, but just set your intention and be patient. He will quite on his own, and as my doctor convinced me, the longer you breast feed the stronger his immune system. He wants to breast feed more when he doesn't feel well because instinctively he knows that is what is best for him. When you think about it, a few more months seems like forever right now, but it will pass so quickly, and you will be able to look back, and feel so good about your experience.
Enjoy your time with him. Make wonderful memories for both of you. My daughter breast fed until she was almost two, and she is VERY independent and extremely confident. I know now I did the right thing by hanging in those last few months. I am so glad my doctor encouraged me to be patient.

I nursed both my girls, 6 and 3, until at least 2 years old. The older until 3-1/2. It's really up to you. What you are comfortable with. The La Leche League http://www.llli.org/ has a lot of wonderful information and advice. There may even be a LLL in your area! Most of the world breastfeeds until well after three years of age. The U.S. stops way too soon. Most nursing moms in the U.S. wean before 1 yr.

Maybe your son is resisting the lost holding time of weaning, as well as the breast. There is lots of weaning advice on the La Leche site as well. Some moms remove one nursing time a day, using juice, treats, distraction, play, or other method as an alternative to nursing.

I tried to wean my younger several times once all her teeth were grown in. Too much accidental biting! But we finally did it when I refused the nightime one. Boy, that was traumatic! That was the biggest, toughest one, the going to sleep nursing. So I just held her and told her I loved her and we continued to read lots of stories and they still sleep with me, and all here are still sane and mostly happy.

Good luck!

Hi Eva,

My daughter was like your son and loved to nurse. It was hard weaning her. You are probably going to have to tolerate some crying, but I know how you feel. At 18 months I was done nursing 4 times a day! Here are some tips.
1. Try taking away one feeding a day for a week. The next week take away another feeding etc. until you are down to no feedings.
2. Lay down or hold your child at nap time, so at least they get the touch part of nursing. When he asks to nurse simply repeat, "No nursing. (or whatever term you use" My daughter would try to hit me at first and scream, but after about 5 minutes she would stroke my neck to calm herself.
3. Offer a snack before bed or naps, so you are sure he is full.

As far as milk is concerned. My daughter never liked the bottle--we just skipped it. She also did not like milk for a long time. She will drink a little now, she likes it warmed or with Ovaltine in it (chocolate). Keep offering milk to your son, maybe he will grow tolerant of it as my daughter did. As long as your son is eating milk products--cheese, yougurt (my daughter also really likes the drinkable kind)--he should be o.k.

Good luck,
M.

It's hard to hear but you're teaching your kid that when he doesn't get his own way he should throw a tantrum and the world will give him what he wants. tough times ahead. I don't know if you use a bottle at all, but you could switch to night bottles. Not letting him fall asleep drinking of course, but pick him up, give him the bottle and do not let him nurse. He he doesn't drink he goes into his bed with a duccly and you leave. if leaving him doesn't work, you can sit in the room so he understands that crying won't result in picking up. this is so tough to do. maybe someone else has other advise?

It is important though. First wean him and then deal with the sleep issue. Mine woke up for two years until I was so exhausted I couldn't sleep properly anymore. First the switch to the bottle and then solids only and then the switch to sleeping through the night. If he is a big baby you might want to try something in his belly before going down. At this age he needs more than breast milk so it's a comfort thing that you've reinforced. make sure he's ok, give him an alternate security item other than holding and breast feeding. In addition, you need to work on switching during the day from breast feeding and start associating temper tantrums with removal of mum. Pretty soon he will be able to climb out of his bed and climb over any baby gates, and then you have the impossible task of trying to keep him in his bed. better to start sooner than later. good luck.

I nursed my son until he was 2 1/2. He didn't throw tempor tantrums but he was dependent on the act. He nursed before naps, in the the morning and before bed. We started telling him that Mommy was running out of milk. He really wasn't getting much from the act, he would play after a few minutes anyway. He was ready. We got some special cup for milk.He was already drinking milk with his meals. It takes a while but he will give it up. I had an awe moment and said to myself I am done. There comes a time when a Mom has to do what is best for her too. Sure they cry, complain and make you feel bad, but they are not going to die. M. Kislan Studio City, Ca.

Wow,
I am thrilled to have read so many responses: you women are showing what you're made of: Kindness, encouragement and sometimes truth spoken in love!
Thats the kind of women I want to be around when things are tough for me!
Eva: you said you are ready to wean and with deciding to work, your son needs help with that transition, too.
Gradually and with love is the LLL way, whenever possible. Just last month though, I helped my little sister, who has a brain tumor and had to go back on medication, wean her 2 yr 5 month old. The Dr gave her only 2 weeks or emergency surgery. That little girl nursed 12 times a night and 24 times a day! You think I'm kidding? Well, only a little! No matter how it got the way it is (and believe me, I know...I nursed 4 until between 15 months and 3 years) The important thing is figuring out a time schedule which implements "gradually" and "love" and then do your best to follow it. She used a friend's idea, which was talking about how the milk was almost gone, deciding times she *could* nurse (after the dog walk; during one book; when the sun wakes up;...)and then using bandaids on her nipples the last day, as a visual reminder for both of them. There were certainly tears, for both of them, (me, too)but it worked out okay. Being consistent is the most important thing, after all. Gee, come to think of it, my kids arent nursing OR sleeping in our bed anymore! And our marriage is fantastic after 18 years. Blessings to all,
L.

give him a sippy cup or a cup with a lid and straw. I didn't nurse but i have been told kids don't have to drink milk as long as they get enough calcium from other sources such as cheese and yougurt. also he might drink milk after he quits nursing because he knows the difference between the milks. as for weaning don't really know. A friend of mine tried everything and ended up going coldturkey it was h*** o* both of them but nothing else worked.

I have had friends nurse their babies untill they were 4 years old. But it was on their terms. You must remember not to get stressed about this but be firm. WEan out one nursing a day. Like the afternoon one and give him a bottle of juice or a sippy cup. If he throws a fit , Well tuff, tell him that is all he is getting until evening. Eventually and it will take some time but you can get it down to one nursing a day and then none. You are the Mom and you are in charge not the child. Be strong and don't be wishy washy. Set the rules and stick by them.You will be fine, you are not " mentally " harming this baby.
N.

Your little one loves your milk!! I am going through the same night time feedings myself. My son is 7 1/2 months old, he weighs 23 pounds, he definalely does not nutritionally need night time feedings. Truly, the main reason I feed him at night at this point is because it is simply eaiser. I get to go back to sleep right away and not have the heart ache of listening to him cry. One thing I am trying is feeding as LITTLE as possible. Latch on, few drinks, unlatch, back to bed. He at times gets a little grumpy though :) During the day I try to give him juice or water in a juice cup WITHOUT the leak preventor so it is eaiser for him to suck. The way I look at it is, a bottle nipple is as close to the breast as you can get. At least a cup is different enough for him to see as something that might be different and fun! He has become very good at drinking from a cup, but still nurses throughout the day as well. As I 'proof read' what I have written, I don't know how much advise I have given. I do know that I completly understnad what you are feeling and it is a hard adjustment for mama and baby. At the end of the day, do what feels right and follow your instinct!! As a mama, YOU know what is best for your boy!

I had still have the same problem with my 22month old. I started with the night time ones first by going into her room and rocking her for a minute telling her when she asked to nurse that it was all gone until morning. Yes she threw a tantrum, but I just put her in her bed and said nite nite see you in the morning and then would leave to let her cry it out. It took three days of some waking and crying, then she slept through the night!!! Next I did more routine with book reading and singing before putting her to bed without the boob. Cried some only one nite this time. I next did the morning one by getting up instead of bringing her to my bed to nurse and sleep more myself. Two days of doing this she never asked for it in the morning again and she began to sleep later because she wasn't waking for it. She began to learn to self soothe and would fall asleep on her own without nursing. Naps for me is the hardest since I am sometimes unsure if she is tired. At night I knew she was tired and would only cry for so long before drifting to sleep.(The crying last a total of 30mins the first night, 10mins the second night, 4mins the third, after that smooth sailing. I plan to drop the nap nursing next week by just telling her it is all gone and putting her down an hour later than normal watching tired signs from her. I always leave a sippy cup of water in her bed just in case she is thirsty. I tried every other way to wean her without having her cry or have a tantrum, and believe me it DOESN'T work. Three days seems to be the magic number of how long it took. I also transitioned her to a toddler bed at the same time just to get it all over with at the same time. Good luck

As a mother of two, both of whom I nursed, and as a nurse (OB, labor and delivery, postpartum and family practice for 23 years), my best adivse is from the mother side: you are the adult, you make the decision to wean and you do it. You weather out the tantrums. He'll tire of throwing them. Tantrums take a great deal of energy. If you continue to let him get what he wants by tantrums, let me warn you...you are in for it when he becomes a teenager!! Both of my children are teenagers now, and it is challanging enough even when you've enforced the parental role you play all of their lives, and not let them get what they want from tantrums. I would suggest that the last wean off you do be the night-time just before bed one. A lot of children don't like milk. One of mine does and one doesn't. (I weaned at 12 months.)I know you are going to get a lot of other adivse. Maybe something in here combined with some of the others will work for you. You just have to do it and stick to it and be prepared to be tired for a bit with lost naps, etc. It will be worth it. There is just not always an easy way to do it, ya' know.

Hang in there!

Eva,
Weaning should be gradual (best for child emotionally and best for mom physically), maybe eliminate one feeding every week or more. It's best to wean your child off of his favorite nursing sessions last, which are usually the ones preceding and/or following sleep. There's nothing wrong with nursing at night, by the way. All kids learn to fall asleep on their own; nursing doesn't hinder that. Since you're able to get him to go to sleep by nursing, you might as well take advantage of it! :) Read "How Weaning Happens" by Diane Bengson--it talks about substituting other things for the nursing, like reading, and anticipating when the child would want to nurse and distracting him before he gets to the "point of no return." Also, I think it also talks about not sitting in favorite nursing spots, so as not to give him any ideas. I'm thinking of so much else that it talks about--it's a great book! Good luck.