How Do I Wean My 15 Mo. Old?

Updated on May 29, 2008
S.K. asks from Denton, TX
21 answers

My son has never been a good sleeper until he turned about a year old. Now he takes a great nap in the afternoon and has finally started consistently sleeping through the night (knock on wood). My problem is that I still nurse him to sleep for his nap and at bedtime. I feel he is getting a little old for this and frankly, I don't know a good way to wean him. I am so afraid of ruining a good thing we have finally got going. I keep putting off weaning him for one excuse or another and it just boils down to the fact that I don't know how to go about it. I've tried just giving him his pacifier and rocking him, but he just gets really upset. Any ideas would be much appreciated.

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R.B.

answers from Dallas on

S.!
I was ready to write my own response...but after reading the advice from Suzan M....she says it all perfectly!!

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A.W.

answers from Lubbock on

I weaned my first two at a year old. With my oldest, I gave her a bottle, with my son, I switched him to a sippy cup of milk and had no problems with either of them. My baby is 8 months old, and I don't know that I will fell ready at a year, it is a very special time. I have a feeling it will be harder with her than it was with my first two babies.

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

It sounds like you're ready for some night weaning. He's at an age where this is doable. Google "jay gordon night weaning" to get a great article on how to do this. Also, take a look at this link:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html

As far as weaning weaning goes, you'll want to take it slow and gradual for both of your sakes. Night weaning is a step in that direction and may possibly make things more bearable for you. Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from Dallas on

Hi,
I nursed my first until she was 17 months old. I too would nurse her before bed however I would try to make sure she was awake when I put her down.
If you normally put him down asleep you could try gently waking him right before you put him in his bed.
Also, about 16 months I started backing up her last nursing so that she would have awake time before I laid her down. I was always nervous that if I didn't nurse her last thing then she wouldn't sleep as long (she was a really good sleeper) but turned out that if I kept the nap/bed time consistent she would go to sleep and stay asleep most nights regardless of when I nursed her last. I think the key was making sure she was awake before I laid her down.

It is a precious time nursing a baby. If you are comfortable nursing him to sleep then keep doing it for a while longer. Who knows next month he may wean himself.

Enjoy your baby.. they grow up so fast..

2 moms found this helpful
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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

S.,
Don't stop nursing until it becomes an issue for YOU and/or your son. This is precious time. In countries around the world children are nursed for two, three, or more years. Here in the states we jump on the independent band wagon and start pushing our children away from the moment their born. Don't buy into it unless you're' ready. If you want more foundation then go to the Bible and look at the book of Genesis; Abraham and Sarah waited nearly 100 years for their son, Isaac and it says Abraham through a party when Isaac was weaned at age THREE.

Enjoy nap time. Hold him close. Enjoy your sleep - you'll make more milk. And just like rolling over and crawling he'll let you know when he's ready to be weaned by wanting to drink from your cup. Put a cup with handles in the tub and play with it. let him drink from it while you play. eventually he'll realize he can get more, faster, from a cup and he'll prefer it to you. The end will be bittersweet, but at least you will know it was the best for the two of you and not what you thought you needed to do.

Congratulations Mom -- you're doing great!

2 moms found this helpful
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J.H.

answers from New York on

Unless you are ready to wean yourself, please don't think that 15 mo. is "a little old for this." As the previous poster said, this is a special time and once it is gone, it is gone. I nursed both my kids until they were just about 2 yrs old (down to only nap and bedtime nursing), and both weaned on their own. The longer you do this for your child, the better for him.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.A.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with the don't offer/don't refuse advice. Although, I wouldn't recommend weaning. Nursing has great benefits for toddlers beyond nutrition. But you need to decide what is best for you and your son. However, realize that nursing a toddler helps him to deal with all stressors in his life psychologically. So don't feel rushed to wean.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.N.

answers from Dallas on

You really don't need to wean yet, it is perfectly normal for children to continue to nurse into their second & third year of life in every other country but America. If all he nurses is for naps & bedtime, enjoy it while you can. Self lead weaning is the best-when child decides they have "outgrown the nursing bond. They grow up so fast, enjoy every minute of this time in your life.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, S.. First of all, I want to say that I'm currently nursing my 3rd daughter at 10 months old. I nursed my first two daughters til they were 2 and 2 1/2. My advice would be to not be in a hurry! Enjoy this time with him! I know you want your body back. I remember those times! I was pregnant and/or nursing for 5 1/2 years straight! After my 2nd daughter, I was so ready to have my body back to myself! But, once you've weaned, you cannot ever go back to nursing that child. Enjoy this close time with him. I'm not saying to nurse til he is 5. Just to not be in a hurry.

Next, my advice in weaning is to have lots of patience! With my 2nd child, who I finally got tired and weaned at 2 1/2, I just nursed at sleep times (I also nurse my kids to sleep.) Then, gradually cut out one sleep time, then another. Slowly getting to just one sleep time. This may take days or weeks, but you have to have patience. Your milk will gradually start thickening up, and he won't be able to get as much out. Then, you can gradually wean him off that last sleep time. I'm warning you...it'll be bitter sweet! But, I do understand if you feel it's time.

Anyway, blessings, and hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

Reading all those responses, it's good to know I'm not alone! I still nurse my little girl to nap & sleep & she's almost two. I will check out the Kellymom articles because I am getting ready to wrap this up. She's unfortunately not a good sleeper so I know we will have some struggles thrugh the night. :(
Good luck S.!

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L.G.

answers from Dallas on

Express your milk and put into a baby bottle and give to your little one. With that he is still getting your breast milk but not attached to you. Try it, it really works and you have weaned him from the breast but he is still getting all of the nutrients of the breast milk.

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T.H.

answers from Dallas on

I weaned my daughter at 14 mos. She had never taken a bottle, so I couldn't use anything but me. I used the almanac to wean and it really worked. You can go on-line to www.almanac.com and do a search for weaning and it will pull up a long list of things, then look for nursing or feeding. I can't remember exactly which one it says, but you will know when you see it. There are certain days that it will tell you are good for that. I prayed, too! I hope it all works out for you.
T.

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi S.. One idea is to switch off days to offer breast/bottle or breast/sippy cup. If you do sippy cup, keep your son reclined and offer the sippy cup like you would a bottle. Or, you could offer the breast first, then offer the bottle or sippy cup for just a minute or two. Then, gradually start to offer the breast less and the bottle/cup more. Eventually, you can just offer the cup and not your breast at all. HOpe that helps.
G.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

My suggestion would be to have dad or someone else take over putting him to bed at night. I think that will work for you. Then work it into the nap schedule one weekend - I just want to congratulate you on nursing to this point! :-)

Good Luck,
M.

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A.D.

answers from Dallas on

Except for the age, this sounds very similar to my daughter. Therefore, I was totally amazed when I just simply stopped nursing her at nap and night times. Yes, she fussed (and I am sooo not one of those "just cry it out" people), but I encouraged myself to hold on and rock her just a little longer (5-10 min. maybe) and viola! she settled down and slept!!! I'd talk softly and soothingly (I hoped-despite my rapidly beating heart) to her. We also began a very simple bedtime routine of turning on the nightlight and a specific lullaby CD (God Bless My (our?) Baby Girl). She sleeps wonderfully now (yes, I agree...knock on wood!) and now will even ask to be put in her bed instead of rocked. We still do the same CD and ... I still can't believe what seemed like an insurmountable issue is fixed! :)

Hope this helps!

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter weaned herself at about 15 months. My husband would put her to bed after giving her a bottle if I wasn't around. Maybe you could try having someone else put him to bed. I would try to wean the nap first for a week or so before the bedtime.

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

Hi S.,

I'm wondering how you conclude that your son is "a little old for this." Is it because the AAP recommends 1 year? Keep in mind that there is no scientific nutritional health basis for the 1 year timeline. The World Health Organization minimum recommendation, which applies throughout the ENTIRE WORLD, is 2 years. Dr. Christiane Northrup (Women's Bodies Women's Wisdom) believes that a MINIMUM of EIGHTEEN MONTHS is recommended for all children. Some say there is an occasional child who may not want to nurse anymore prior to this time. However, even these children may not really truly be "weaning themselves" as mothers may often conclude. The child may simply be on a "nursing strike", which you can research if you are interested. La Leche League, a lactation consultant, or Dr. William Sears would be a good place for more info on this. The world of nursing is quite fascinating.

Actually, the AAP recommendation is NOT to wean at 1 year. This is a mistaken understanding by many moms, including me. Rather, it is a MINIMUM of 1 year AND FOR AS LONG THEREAFTER AS BOTH MOTHER AND BABY DESIRE. The second part is the issue for you. Do you want to nurse anymore? It seems pretty clear your baby does. Your baby is definitely getting tremendous health and nutritional benefits. But, if you are frustrated because you don't want to nurse anymore, your choices are to (1) trump your baby's desires and wean anyway or (2) get an attitude adjustment.

I mistakenly thought I should wean at 1 year. I tried to limit it, but my daughter became frustrated. I simply concluded, based on motherly instinct, that the 1 year time limit was completely ludicrous. She had very few teeth, wasn't getting all her nutrition from food, and was still basically an infant! The AAP even calls them "infants" until they are 2. What was I going to do? Supplement with formula? That seemed ridiculous. It became clear there was no scientific health basis whatsoever for the 1 year limit.

As time went on, by 18 months, I became tired of nursing. This was in part due to general fatigue, and in part due to my mistaken attitude problem that my baby was "late" in weaning, since the silly AAP recommendation makes moms think that. I called my lactation consultant and she gave me some books to read which helped me understand the issue better. I realized that it is perfectly normal and healthy for a baby to want to and to need to nurse longer. But in our modern society, with working moms and an emphasis on "independence" and "freedom", separation of mothers and kids is the trend. So, naturally, I was confronting my own social conditioning.

You have to follow your instincts and do what is best for BOTH OF YOU, not what you think you are supposed to do to be accepted by society, family, friends, husbands, neighbors, playdate moms, pediatricians, etc.

I ended up nursing until my daughter was 2 1/2. She would have gone longer and was sad when I lied to her and told her there was "no more milk" in order to wean her. I was still very fatigued and my health was not the best. Nursing was taxing me physically and emotionally. I did what I thought was best at the time and have little guilt about it, though I suspect she would have loved to continue nursing for much longer. There is simply no substitute for the bonding and relaxation that both mother and baby receive from nursing.

I encourage you to further evaluate the issue and determine what it is that YOUR OWN HEART tells you is the right course for you. I wish you the best! Congratulations on such a successful nursing relationship! There are so many women who have guilt because they couldn't figure out how to nurse at all. Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

I know some people wean from bottle at this age, but my suggestion is just try the nap time first, and maybe give a bottle of juice or milk, and when he gets o.k. with this, try the night time. If he only has a bottle twice a day for awhile, he may go to sippy cup soon after that, and not miss feeding, and go to sleep with out anything.

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like you already got a lot of good advice on weaning. I wanted to send you this link to a site on the benefits of continuing nursing if you so choose. http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

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J.J.

answers from Dallas on

I did a don't offer/don't refuse with my kids and they all self-weaned on their own - my oldest at 9 months (I was working and she was used to a bottle) my son at 12 months and my youngest at nearly 2 1/2 years. She was down to just before bed at that point - we were definitely not getting up at night. I would not offer a nursing session, but if the baby was attempting to get to my breast - I would nurse. It was really an easy transition for each of them and for me.

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B.F.

answers from Dallas on

Hi S.
Its been a long time (my first is 17) but I remember how troubling it was to both of us to wean from nursing! As the books tell you..you are a nursing couple and I don't mean that in any bad way! It is just you do have a routine and respond to the wonderful closeness that is nursing. Both my boys were 19 months old when they weaned and really it didn't take much but a resolution on my part to say no. Yes, it broke my heart to look at those sweet eyes and say no but we found other substitutes for the closeness we shared. Start with the naps and go from there. I quit holding him before naps and instead we layed down together on the bed and I read him story after story till we both were so tired we couldn't keep our eyes open. Then he would ask to "nur?" and I would say no and that it was time to sleep and he was too tired to object. Reading took longer but it was still a great bond for us and really I didn't miss the nurseing as much as I thought I would..what great memories I have, and you will too, of that special time together!
B.

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