Weaning 12 Month Old

Updated on September 26, 2008
J.F. asks from Kinston, NC
23 answers

I am trying to wean my exclusively breastfed child and would like any advice on this. He had been nursing 4 times a day, one before am nap, pm nap, bedtime, and one last one around 11pm. We have tried taking it slowly by dropping one feeding a week and are down to just nursing twice at night. I have been trying to get him to drink out of a sippy cup with limited success. He will take a few sips at lunch and dinner, maybe two to three ounces total. My problem is he seems to be holding out for the two evening feedings and is now waking several times a night wanting to nurse. His naps have also become erratic as I try to keep him busy during the day to distract him from wanting to nurse. My supply has gone down due to only nursing two times a day. Do I continue to drop another feeding at night and hope he will get thirsty enough to drink from the cup? I don't want him to get dehydrated but I don't want to be nursing him all night long either. I am also afraid he won't get enough milk during the day. He really doesn't take much water or juice from the cup either. This has been difficult for him as he only nursed and never took a bottle but I have nursed him the entire first year and am really ready to wean now. Thank you for any advice or suggestions.

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E.W.

answers from Chattanooga on

I suggest trying a bottle with the milk first before going to a sippy cup. Then you slowly go to the sippy cup. I hope it works for you.

E.

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C.F.

answers from Lexington on

J.,
My 9 month old has been exclusively breastfed as well. However, he's actually been drinking from a cup since he was five months old. I would not introduce a bottle at this stage. Try using a regular cup. He'll probably love drinking water out of your cup. Also, try putting pumped breastmilk into a cup. Then he'll know he can get that flavor elsewhere. And when you do nurse him, nurse him in the same place every time. I've also had success with rice milk. I've nursed three boys, and sometimes I have discovered, you have to wean on their time, not yours. My first weaned himself at 14 months, my second at 22 months. Good luck!
C.

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J.C.

answers from Clarksville on

If you are really ready to wean then do it, though I cant offer much advice. But you may want to consider nursing a little longer, say try 6 more months or maybe a year. I nursed for 2 years. No other milk but nursing, and water in a cup when he wanted it. When he turned 2 we were nursing when he woke up in the morning, before his nap, and before bed, we cut one out a week and it was easy as we were both ready then. Again though, if you are sure your done, that is up to you, great job nursing for a full year! You are in the minority!

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D.P.

answers from Asheville on

I know others disagree, but it sounds like you're pushing it too quickly. I think you need to make sure he can handle a cup before you wean him, and do it gradually over maybe a month or two. If you nurse him more again, your milk supply will adjust. I think pumping and saving the milk to put in a sippee is also a good idea just so he can get used to it. Try changing to a different sippee and see if he handles it better.
Be patient, and give the little guy a chance to work out this "new" thing. A little extra patience and nursing for an extra few weeks might pay off big later on, rather than forcing it before he's able to drink from a cup. If he's eating solids well, and getting enough fluids, then you're ahead of the game in that area.
Work on the cup, pump if needed, and best of luck, you've given your baby a great start.

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G.W.

answers from Clarksville on

When you say exclusively breastfed, I take that to mean he hasn't started solids yet. Has he started solid food so that he is getting nourishment? If so, and you want him to drink from a cup, forget the sippy and try a straw. And I hate to say it, but if he really isn't ready to wean, you are setting yourself up for a lot of frustration and headache. Ease up on him and yourself. Since nursing is also comforting, any extra stress would probably just make him want to nurse more. Good luck! I nursed both of mine till they were 2, and even though it got down to once a day, it was not a quick process to wean, but there was less frustration. I do understand wanting to have your body back. ( :

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L.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi J. - Congrats on breastfeeding your son for a full year! My son also loved nursing and it was so hard for me to wean him too. The only suggestion I have for you other than what you are already doing (gradually reducing the nursing sessions and distracting him during the day), is to hold him in the same position as nursing and just "cuddle" with him then. For instance, I nursed my son in a rocking chair by his crib whenever I nursed him at night, so when I wanted to wean him from that, I just held him in the same nursing position and rocked him. That really seemed to help in his case. Blessings to you.

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C.C.

answers from Nashville on

Why Wean... it's such a blessing to give the ultimate gift... yourself... no wonder you are having problems.... he's not ready... and he should be your first priority... there is not crime to nurse for another year... you'll be glad you did... you can't get it back once it's gone... my daughter is almost 3 and I'm so grateful she still has my milk to sooth her and put her to sleep during the day and night... I don't read any books so I don't feel any pressure to stop! Make sure you think this through completely... your child deserves the best... CK

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K.K.

answers from Huntington on

I dont know alot about nursing a baby,but i just wanted to say that a baby at 12 months only need about 16 oz of milk a day.So the 2 times nursing you problly covers the 16 oz that he needs a day!

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W.F.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi J.: I'm going thru the same challenges as you as I've nursed my daughter exclusively for almost 10 months. Because my daughter is so close to being a year old, her pediatrician recommended that we be consistent in getting her to drink from a sippy cup than from a bottle. If your child is eating well on solids/table foods, please don't be concerned about his limited intake in bm because he should be getting enough nutrients from solids (including cheese & yogurt). I think there will be a point when our babies will notice that our milk supply has gone down significantly so will succumb to drinking from a sippy cup. Additionally, breastfed babies don't necessarily need water vs. formula babies (for digestion). So right now, we're trying different types of sippy cups by showing her the same one for a few days, basically pretending to drink from it (putting in expressed bm/formula & making the sucking sounds) and carrying it around with her during meals (letting her play with it esp. the sprout), and trying it before nap times.

Hope this helps and if you have other suggestions, let's help each other!!

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F.K.

answers from Charlotte on

My son had a difficult time adjusting to drinking from a cup also. He would refuse to drink all day and be really thirsty at night. I ended up pumping breastmilk and putting it in a cup with a lid and straw. He seemed to need the breastmilk to motivate him to learn to drink from a cup. Once he learned to drink from a cup with a straw (sippy cups never worked for us, we tried every sippy cup ever made), I started putting whole milk or diluted juice in the cup instead of breastmilk. Then, once he got adjusted to drinking whole milk and juice/water during the day, I was able to wean him. Hopefully, your son will start to drink from the cup more and you can then wean. Good luck.

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R.H.

answers from Fayetteville on

What I did when my son turned 12 months is stop cold turkey. I had expressed milk in the freezer, so I put that in the bottle for him, that way he was still getting the taste, but not the breast. I simply held him tight during the bottle-feeding so that he would still feel the warmth. I would hold a pillow between him and me when I was putting him to sleep so he would not smell the milk from my body to much. I used a small Avent bottle because of the shape of the nipple and made sure the nipple was warm before feeding (Playtex has a good nipple shape also). I was consistent with this and when he fussed I simply soothed him with hugs, kisses, and speaking to him softly. It took time, but it worked. You cannot break the cycle no matter how bad YOU feel.

Good luck and God Bless,

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B.B.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi, J.!
WOW- it's like reading my own life... my son, Luke, turns 1 on Friday. We are in the exact same position.

My goal last week was to get him to sleep through the night, 8pm-7am. We did it! It wasn't easy, and certainly took longer than "just 3 days" and he screamed for HOURS. It was the worst and hardest part of motherhood so far, but we both got through and are sleeping better.

I did this to prepare to wean him (figured I couldn't expect him to go to sleep without breast until he learned to soothe himself, right?). Instead of a sippy cup, try a cup with straw- Rubbermaid makes a small one, perfect size for little hands. It teaches to suck without having to lift the cup or tilt their head back- a lifelong lesson.

Luke won't drink milk (breast or whole) from a cup, but he drinks at least 3 cups of water/juice daily. I don't think his night waking was about hunger or thirst, more just wanting to nurse. I did follow the advice of a friend and started giving him a snack to munch while we read bedtime stories.

It might just be our luck, but he also wakes up happier and doesn't nurse at all in the morning until his nap. He used to nurse first thing while he woke up.

Good luck!! xoxo

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C.S.

answers from Charlotte on

Try a Nuby Sport Sippie Cup. They are a great first transition fromt the bottle. I tried every sippie cup with my daughter until a friend suggested this one and IT WORKED! You can get them at Babies R'Us. After he gets used to that one, you can switch to the Nuby regular sippie cup and from there, he'll be ready for a regular sippie. I have shared this advice with a lot of friends and it really has worked for nearly all of them.

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S.D.

answers from Nashville on

Just relax. You have a "nursy baby" that likes to nurse. My children all weaned at different times. Two of my children nursed in the middle of the night until they were a year old. One of my children weaned those middle of the night feedings at 18 months. My daughter did not give it up until she was 2 years old and I had to talk to her about it. All babies are a little different. Keep nursing him when he wakes up in the middle of the night. He is not quite ready to give it up yet. Make sure you are offering him milk and other fluids several times during the day. Relax. He will eventually give up those middle of the night feedings because he will be sleeping through the night.

Stop disrupting his nap schedule during the day and try to get him back on schedule. That will help tremendously. Change your naptime routine to include a sippy cup of milk and a couple of books. They key is to keep him on his schedule, but just change the routine a little. I will even drive my little one around the block to get him to fall asleep to keep him on schedule when he is fighting sleep. :o)

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K.M.

answers from Raleigh on

I think what you have been doing is good. Keep it up. I know that there are some cups being sold with the rubber breast shapped nipple. This is what I used to wean my child. It worked so well. Try that. I want to say I bought it at the local Walmart. I would also recommend at night just putting one of your shirts in the bed with him. It might be the closeness or smell of his mom that he wants.

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

It sounds like you have done everything right to me! I phased out the bedtime feeding last with both of my boys. Does your son wake up for the 11pm feeding or do you wake him to "top him off?" If he's on solids and drinking about 16 oz during the day, he shouldn't be hungry and is probably waking out of habit and nursing has become a means of comfort (which I often get nostalgic for...) The key will be helping him find another way to soothe himself when he awakes at night. I have never been a huge supporter of the cry-it-out method, but I think letting your baby cry for short periods of time will allow him the opportunity to try to soothe himself, whether that be with a pacifier, a blanket or some other sort of "lovey." I have always had a dim nightlight in my kids' rooms for when they wake at night and needed to find their comfort item.
You're doing a great job and have given your son an awesome start - just stay consistent, it will get better, I promise!

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B.C.

answers from Nashville on

Your first mistake was never pumping and getting him used to the bottle and the sippy cup. Now that this did not happen you may have to just stop the nightime feeding you want and then insist during the day that he drink out of the sippy cup. when he gets thirsty enough he will do it. He is just not used to the method. there are many different kinds of cups and even some with nipples. Good Luck!

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

You say exclusively breastfed, do you mean he is not eating solids or you just mean for his liquid? If he is not on solids, he really needs to be on them asap. I am sure you just meant liquid so in that situation, you are going to have to just take them away one feeding at a time starting with the first one in the morning. Give it a week then move on to the next feeding, the next one in the afternoon, then a week later, you stop the 11:00 one. Let him have the bed time one to wean last. Your husband can get up with him at the 11:00 feeding and he will have to get him back down. He may cry but your husband will have to soothe him, pat him, rub him, sing to him, do not get him out of the crib. Leave the room and go back in 5 mins if he is still crying. Then go back in 7 mins, then 9 mins, etc It really does work, it worked for both of our kids in 3 nights. Hard to hear them cry but you do keep going into the room so the baby knows that you are there. As far as him dehydrating, pump breast milk and give that to him in a sippy cup if you think he will take that more. He should now be on Vit D milk as of a year old so if you can ease him into that, it will be good. You can mix 1/2 and 1/2. Talk to the doc about how long you think he can go without drinking so you know what you are up against. Just get as much as you can in him during that one feeding and then by that time, he should be taking the sippy cup. Start by giving him a sippy cup in the car, while you are driving. It seems like my kids drink the most while in the car b/c there is not much else to do. They can't walk around or play, they are just sitting and drinking.

Good luck

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L.F.

answers from Charlotte on

Sounds just like my daughter! It lasted almost 14 months but she eventually went down to one night feeding and that I was told was just a habit not nutritionally essential. So it was about a week of waking up and soothing her by rocking not nursing and then she stopped the night time feeding. When they begin to walk they loose interest too. At least my Samantha did. She also never took a bottle. She does like the ecousables with the sport topp or the sigg or the safe sippy cup ( all stainless steel not plastic)

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V.C.

answers from Wheeling on

Hi~
I've reared 2 girls and 2 boys (now 20-31) and the boys just simply wanted to nurse longer. Daughter (#1) quit with NO problem on her first birthday. Son (#2) didn't go with that plan AT ALL! Think it was 17 months. Son (#3) would've quit before I let him -- around 15-16 mo, I think. (Was afraid he was the 'last one' I'd get to nurse and wanted to prolong the bonding activity). Daughter #4 was just over a year, I believe, and she was DONE. I always supplemented w/bottles, but now's probably not the time to start that . . . Hmmm ...

Unless you give him only WATER in a bottle, maybe. Just so he gets fluids. He'll get most of his nutrition from other sources at this point.

God bless!
P.S. Or (since you WANT to quit), try having the 2 nursing times more like 12 hrs apart instead of twice in the evening. If you decide to let him be the one who decides when to quit and let him nurse all he wants to (within reason, I mean!), your supply will build back up quickly.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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L.P.

answers from Raleigh on

I started to wean my daughter around 12 months. When I was down to 2 feedings a day (before nap and before bed), I just dropped both of them within 2 days. It seemed easier to me that way. She was confused at first but really adjusted more quickly than I anticipated. She also didnt like the sippy cup at first. Maybe try a different cup? I switched cups and started her with skim milk and worked my way up to whole. She now takes it without problem. I think if your son is thirsty, and realizes he isnt going to nurse, he will take the cup. You could also try a straw which is fun too.
L.

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N.W.

answers from Louisville on

What I had to do to wean my son off was I would mix his bottles with half formula and half breast milk. After about two weeks of that I would increase the formula and eventually it was all formula. There are prescriptions to dry your milk production. But I slept with about 4 towels for 2 weeks and I dried up. I hope I explained correctly. I hope it helps. I breast fed until my son was 8 months old I can't imagine breast feeding until they are walking or talking it just doesn't seem right especially when your out in public and the child is walking over to you tugging on your shirt. My son is healthy no ear infection or anything.

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