Seeking Advice to Help My Daughter Drink Whole Milk

Updated on March 17, 2009
L.M. asks from Reston, VA
47 answers

My daughter Emma just turned 1 on 2/1. I'm trying to get her to drink whole milk but she refuses. She hasn't taken a bottle since she was 6 months and wont take formula either. I've been breast feeding for a year and would like to start weaning her. I tried to give her a bottle again with milk but she wont go for it.
Has anyone ever gone through this? Does anyone have any ideas? Thanks.

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J.B.

answers from Washington DC on

it tastes funny to her; keep offering in a cup - NOT a bottle; you don't want to have to try to wean her off that too
try different cups until you find one she will take

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M.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Hello, I would try Almond, rice, or Goat milk. Whole milk only if it is from grass fed cows.....children know their bodies and how they feel...good luck

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E.S.

answers from Richmond on

L.,
Have you tried a sippy cup with her? My now 10.5 year old was great transitioning from bottle to cup and I never put formula in a sippie just juice and when it was time to give up the bottle it was so easy. She also gace up the formula very easily. We did have to do soy milk from 1 to 2 years due to milk constipating her, she was fine on dairy products just not when drinking milk all of the time. Trying soy milk or rice milk might help too.

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S.H.

answers from Washington DC on

I had the exact same problem with my oldest daughter. My friend (she's a registered dietician) gave me this advice and it worked perfectly:
-give her 2% milk (or 1% or skim if she won't take the 2%)for awhile and then gradually go up in the fat percentage after she learns to like the milk. Apparently breast milk tastes nothing like cows milk - especially whole/4% milk. It took my daughter a few weeks to make it back up to the whole milk and has loved it ever since. I kept 2% and whole milk during those times and gradually mixed the two.
-in those couple of weeks make sure she is getting full-fat/whole cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt, etc... I'm sure you know it's needed for brain & nerve development.
-she also recommended throwing in some extra olive oil on her pasta. I'm sure you could do it on veggies, too, if you think she needs it.

I would highly recommend trying those things before flavoring her milk with chocolate, strawberry or vanilla - i imagine it's hard to get kids to drink unflavored milk if they learn to love that from the beginning. I have to admit I was really close to trying it because I was so worried she wasn't going to like milk but I also didn't want all that extra sugar in the flavorings.

As the other moms said - a cool, new cup works pretty well with some kids, too.

Anyway, that worked for us - hope it does for you, too!

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R.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I'd go straight to a sippy cup, probably demonstrate drinking out of it a few times, and let her play with it. It might be several days before she gets it, but she'll pick it up pretty quickly after that.

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S.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi L.,

Do you eat ceral? If so she watches you so maybe start off with her eating what she may think is your ceral at the table with some fun kid cerals(small sizes that are sofe in milk like corn flakes, cherrios or rice crispy. Also. Maybe make oatmeal and use it in there. Children always want we have so pretending you are drinking a glass of milk and sharing it with them gets them excited. Organic chocolate little box milks are great or the soy milk also be careful though of using the sweeter milks first. The small milk boxes have animals on the so they are interesting and fun for them or in a sippy cup.

Even though organic is more expensive it has a closer consistency and taste of Breast milk. Also yogurt is good to help ensure they are getting all the nutrients they need. I hope this help!

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A.P.

answers from Washington DC on

Maybe she just doesn't like it. I would try getting soy milk. That is what my daughter still drinks and she is 7. I on the other hand prefer my organic fat free. I am not a fan of milk at all but find that the organic fat free tastes much better than regular milk...and lasts longer.

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A.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I might get an ear full from the anti-sugar crowd, but it worked for me.
I, too, breastfed my daughter for over a year (never did formula, rarely did bottles) and couldn't get her to switch to whole milk when she turned one either. I took into account that breastmilk is very sweet and started mixing a little strawberry-flavored Nesquik in with her milk. Over the next couple weeks I would gradually reduce the amount that I mixed in and within three weeks she was drinking plain milk just fine out of a sippy.
PS - In now reading through some of the other posts I should add that I do not have any problem getting my daughter to eat a wide variety of 'real' food - veggies, ethnic included. I think it's a misconception that if you give your child sugar/sweetened stuff at some point that's all they will want to eat.

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G.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm not sure if she's not responding to milk or the method of delivery.

Anyway, my breastfed LO had both problems. She threw up whenever she drank milk and she didn't like formula. She would eat yogurt or drink soy milk with no problem.

My daughter would not take the bottle or sippy cup either. So I started her with a straw and she was ok drinking with that. It took several tries. I would draw water up with the straw and put it to her mouth. After she realizes stuff comes out of the straw, she started sucking on it and was able to drink with the straw. She also went straight to drinking from a cup with help.

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E.B.

answers from Washington DC on

You can try 2% milk because it's a little less rich and also serve it at room temp so it's more comfortable for her. Once she takes 2% milk (give it a week or two) then switch her back to whole milk or mix the two and gradually get her on just the whole milk. I had to do this with my daughter and it worked just fine. Best of luck!

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J.W.

answers from Richmond on

My daughter wouldn't move to a sippy cup - and then we introduced her to the ones with straws - at 11 months it only took a few examples by us and she understood. It was "fun" for her to drink from a straw like mom and dad.

You could always start with breast milk in the cup unitl she gets it, and then slowly mix a little cows milk into it.

My son has never accepted a bottle, and at 8 months, isn't into a cup yet, and my biggest fear is that I will be posting the same question myself in a few months!

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Can you pump and milk your milk with whole milk in a sippy cup or a straw cup? Then you could gradually decrease the amount of breastmilk in the cup and replace it with whole milk.

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A.F.

answers from Washington DC on

Soy milk is much better than cow milk. there are so many chemicals in cows milk and it is the number one food allergy. Congratulations for breastfeeding your baby a whole year! You have given her the BEST! Please taper off slowly. Perhaps she will like the Silk soymilk for kids. AF

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C.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I wouldn't give her a bottle. I would give her chocolate or strawberry milk in a sippy cup. Good luck.

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T.H.

answers from Norfolk on

what does she take from a cup? if she takes breastmilk in a cup try mixing it with whole milk like 1oz of milk to 3 oz of breastmilk. then gradually go to all milk.if she doesnt just keep trying and dont push. she really doesnt need milk though as long as she gets her calcium from elsewhere. yogurt and cheese and other such dairies will do just as well.

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R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

ok well first off don't offer a breastfed baby a bottle. Put her milk in a cup. You want it to be something like yours. The reason she is going to accept it is because you drink out of a cup and she wants to be just like you. Offer her a small cup of milk with every meal. Don't push it at her gosh you don't even have to offer her it just put it on her high chair tray with her hand held food. That way it's there waiting and since she sees you drink out of cups she will prob. try it. You could even walk over and pretend drink out of it as well. It will give you the idea of what to do with it. But don't out right ask her to drink or ask if she want it. Some children don't drink alot of milk don't give her much and don't switch out with other kinds of drinks until she's accepting her milk so you know she will drink it. If you switch out she will know that if i don't drink this it will be what i want later. good luck

I also wanted to add. I never was a fan of offering chocolate or strawberry milk in stead of white. You want her to accept white milk not substitute it. That will lead to a life of not drinking milk. She will drink chocolate milk or strawberry milk until she grown and than stop drinking it all together unless she wants chocolate or strawberry milk. IN my opinion that's not a good practice.
I don't start something i don't want to be done for their whole life. Have you known anyone who has drank Soda their whole life and than one day go "Oh i think I'll stop drinking soda and start drinking water" I don't think so. You don't want to offer a substitute for the good stuff teach them to drink the good stuff.

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C.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I had this problem with my now 3 year old. As a result, I think I nursed longer than I anticipated (he was 1 1/2 when I stopped) In any case, I tried soy milk. There was "Silk" brand-which he tasted and decided that he did not like that either. I then tried 8th Continent Soy milk- which he liked and drank until recently. It was expensive, but he liked it. Pediatrician said it was ok, but to make sure he was getting dairy from other sources--like cheese and yogurt. Another thing you can do is to pump your breast milk and mix some of the whole or soy milk with it, a little at a time until it is mostly the the other milk. I tried this and for a while, my little one was not having it--eventually he drank the 8th Continent Soy. In fact, he just started drinking 2% milk. Good luck.

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S.B.

answers from Norfolk on

Try a sippy cup and water down the milk. You can gradually use less water. This helped with my first son. You can also try warming it a little. DON'T get her started on a bottle at 1. My boys went straight from nursing to sippy cups and it worked great. Keep trying. Good luck!

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S.E.

answers from Lynchburg on

Try vanilla soy milk. its a little sweetened, so it is more like breast milk than cow milk. And even if she doesn't take to it, I wouldn't fret too much. Even though the dairy industry wants you to think that milk is a childhood necessity, it really isn't. She can get calcium in other forms (cheese, yogurt, green leafy veggies). And kids that drink lots of milk, actually can get filled up on the milk and then not want to eat too much other vitamin and mineral rich foods that they need to stay healthy.
My 11 year old never took to cow milk until she went to public school and saw all the other kids with their cute little cartons from the cafeteria. And she has developed just fine!

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Z.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Is it the bottle or the milk she is refusing? I would pass up the bottle and go straight to sippy cup. Neither of my boys would take the bottle and by 6 months I had them on a sippy cup. I first offered the sippy with breast milk until I found one that worked for them. Rubbermaid makes a little one, clear with a purple top. It has a straw, so they can sip but you can also squeeze the bottom to make the liquid come up, it helps them learn to use the straw (fyi babies intuitively know how to use a straw but lose that somewhere along the line). Once you have a cup that works, slowly transition to the whole milk. Neither of my kids really like milk unless it has something in it....I give them yogurt smoothies or Kefir instead.

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F.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

I didn't have this problem, but another mother in our daycare did when she went to wean a little old child. She started mixing pumped milk with cow's milk at a low diluation, 3/4 pumped to 1/4 cow, then slowing (once a week or so) she would up the amount of cow's milk. The daycare actually suggested it saying they had success with that before hand, it may be worth trying. Good luck!!

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C.S.

answers from Washington DC on

take her to the store and let her buy the fancie little princess cups but tell her she can only drink from these if she drinks her milk start of with a little at a time. What kind of milk are you trying? I have found my kids ould only drink whole, of course now they drink it all. hope the idea helps.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Another vote for slowly introducing whole milk by mixing it with breast milk in increasing quantities. Another thing we tried is starting with skim milk. He seemed to like it better at first,and then we changed over to whole milk. Also, he spit it out if it was cold milk. We tried warming it in the microwave for about 15 seconds, and this did the trick!

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

You've already gotten a lot of advice (some of which I cringed at and would never do but . . . ) so I will offer what I can. I agree with others about going straight to a sippy cup. Also, it might help to pump and start mixing in breast milk with the whole milk. If that is not working, I hate to sound harsh, but if she gets thirsty enough she will drink it (assuming she knows how to use the sippy). It may take a few different kinds of sippy cups before you find the right one that works for her. Also, I would definitely NOT give chocolate or strawberry milk! All your doing there is setting yourself up for a child who wants things sweet and sugary (and some pediatricians recommend no chocolate anyway). Good luck!!

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A.J.

answers from Washington DC on

I just wanted to add that while your child can get calcium from other foods she needs the cholesterol and saturated fat of the whole milk for good brain development (it helps to create the insulation on the neurons and the development of their connections). If she refuses the whole milk in a sippy (we used the straw type) then it would be good to put butter in her food to compensate for the fat she'd be missing. I would definitely recommend seeking nutritional advice from a dietician or pediatrician on how much she'd need each day. Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I concur if the issue is the dislike of the milk, there are other things you can offer her. Almond or rice milk would be my preference over soy. That is because of the high allergenic possibilities of soy. You can try goat's milk as well.
L. M

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D.J.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi L...

I had a B**** of a time with my daughter and weaning. She refused everything related to a bottle.. Nursing or nothing!!!

I tried every bottle on the market including the OLD breast looking version of the Adiri bottle. Nothing. Your daughter is older than mine was and my daughter was OFF of the bottle by 1 .. go straight to a sippy cup as it is more age appropriate anyway. The bottle inself is an insulting breast to her but a sippy is "different" and "cool" looking. The ones with straws worked best for us. Over the course of about 3 months, we left small amounts of milk and water with her as if it were a toy. At 1yr.. they are still putting LOTS of stuff in their mouths so chances are she will grab it one day and some liquid will make it in there and she will be curious.
One day after MONTHS.. as I say it.. the "HEAVENS opened over my home" and she did it. After all of the forcing, and 3 specialists.. she did it when she was ready.

"Obviously" I still had to nurse while waiting for this process to happen" but once it did.. she never looked back! I weaned successfully by dropping feedings during the day 1st and then at night last.

I FEEL your pain!!!

Best of luck
D.

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

First of all, congratulations on nursing through your baby's first birthday. That's the best gift you could have given her. Weaning a baby around 1 year of age can be harder than it will be in just a few months. But the easiest way is to not offer and to not refuse. Naptime and bedtime may be harder because your baby may figure out that nursing makes her fall asleep and will stop asking to nurse at those times even though she gets grumpy and you will be tempted to nurse her. This gradual weaning will be easier on your body and on your baby.

I went to my first La Leche League meeting at my son's one year old birthday because I couldn't understand why he wasn't weaning by himself. They helped me understand the benefits of toddler nursing - the nutrition, the immunities, and the ease of handling all the ups and downs of being one. It is helpful to think about what will be different without nursing and how you will handle the situations you would have handled by nursing her.

If possible, hold off until spring so you can get through the cold and flu season. It's also easier to encourage kids to drink water when it is hot out. You can distract most children from nursing by offering to go outside or play a physical game or even to splash in the tub just for fun.

Yogurt is more appealing to some kids than cow's milk. It is not uncommon for a baby to prefer human milk from a comforting source over cow's milk. That just shows how smart she is. As long as she is still nursing, drinks in a cup are for fun and learning to drink. Water is easiest to clean up. I've given my young nephews juice glasses with just a bit of water or milk and they were so thrilled to be treated like big kids. Of course, I probably used sippy cups forever with my own because I didn't want to clean up another spill.

Good luck.

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T.D.

answers from Norfolk on

I had a problem swithching my twins to regular milk as well. But fortunately for me they were bottle fed so I didn't have the double stress of getting them of the breast milk and on to a cup or bottle. But what my doctor advised me to do was to mix their formula wih the regular milk. Starting with a little at first and adding more milk day by day, having a lesser amount of formula. Eventually they took to the milk with no problem. Now I can't keep my son away from it. Since your baby is used to breast milk I would suggest you do the same thing but use your breast milk along with the type of milk you're trying to have your baby switch to.

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J.Z.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you tried soy milk?

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T.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I run an in home childcare and have had a few kiddos not take to the switch too well - gradually switch her over. 3 parts formula to 1 part milk, 2 parts formula to 2 parts milk, 1 part formula to 3 parts milk, it may take about 2 weeks to make the switch but every time I have done things this way they have gone smoothly - and yes we've used a bottle and a sippy cup - it didn't matter. When I switch from bottle to sippy cup they have these great sippies now with soft top - great as a transition tool! Good luck!

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J.L.

answers from Roanoke on

HI L.,
I also bf my daughter and she's 14.5 months. She only took a bottle to supplement back when she was a newborn, but that was for only 2-3 months. I introduced a sippy cup at 6 mo and started giving her milk in her sippy at about 11.5 months. She took to it right away, no fighting or spitting it out. we were lucky i suppose and now she just absolutely loves drinking milk from her sippy. She would drink milk all day if i let her. Does your daughter take a sippy cup? Have you tried giving her milk through that?

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L.N.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi L.,

I was just in this same situation. My daughter turned one in January and never took a bottle! I was still breast feeding her four times a day. I knew I wanted to wean her soonish, but didn't know how because she wouldn't drink anything out of a bottle, sippy cup, etc. One day she just decided she didn't want to nurse anymore and within a couple of days she had completely stopped.

I had asked my doctor what I should do and how much milk she really needed and he said I shouldn't worry about it. If she is eating some baby food she is getting fluids, and if she is eating some dairy products (yogurt, cheese, etc.) she is getting calcium and doesn't necessarily need a certain amount of cow's milk after she stops breast feeding.

So, after she stopped, I just offered her sippy cups of whole milk at every meal (and I have a sippy cup full of water out while she plays). At first she wasn't too interested (most of it would end up on her bib), but little by little she started drinking it and now she is pretty okay with it.

So, if you want to wean her, I would suggest to just do it, and offer her cow's milk in her high chair with her meal. Eventually she'll come around and in the meantime she'll be okay!

Good luck!

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C.J.

answers from Washington DC on

we don't drink cow's milk but to get my daughter to switch from breast milk to formula and then from formula to milk (soy) we used a gradual approach. first one quarter new milk to three quarters familiar milk, then half and half, then mostly the new stuff. take your time with whatever new milk you choose. i personally think this approach is worth a try before sweeteners.

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S.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Does she have an issue with the milk or is it the bottle she is refusing? You might want to try milk in a sippy cup and see if that makes a difference.
If she is like my daughter (who still nurses a couple of times a day at 27 months) she prefers the sweet taste of breastmilk and doesn't care for the taste, texture, or temperature of whole milk. What I did to get her to drink milk was flavor it a bit. Horizon makes organic flavored milks and that is what my daughter drinks. I had friends who would puree blueberries or strawberries and put that in the milk to flavor it, and others who would use chocolate or strawberry syrup.
Other people say that if she gets thirsty enough she will drink whatever you offer but my daughter is stubborn and that never felt right to me.
Good luck!

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A.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I went through the same thing. THe only thing that worked for us was warming the milk a little. and of course hse preffered the more expensive bottles (Adiri, she was exclusively breastfed so we were having ahard time to even get her to take the bottle). My daughter is almost 15 mos and I just nursed her for the last time less than a week ago! Weaning was a very long difficult process. She drinks whole milk from a sippy during the day and takes a bottle bfore bed and nap.

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K.M.

answers from Washington DC on

has she been drinking out of a sippy cup? i didn't have this problem but my boys were also breast fed until a year and i would sometimes pump and put breast milk in the sippy cup so they were used to it when it came time to transition. you also might try breast feeding her for a couple minutes first and then giving her the milk. hope you get some answers that help!

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A.L.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter never really took to whole milk, and still only drinks a few ounces a day (she's almost 2 now). Check with your pediatrician, but ours said not to worry about it, just make sure she is getting calcium from other sources like yogurt, cheese, etc. I do offer her milk twice a day, but she only drinks it in the morning and even then it is only a few ounces. My daughter also goes through phases when she won't drink milk at all. Check with your ped though, he/she might have some answers for you.

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R.K.

answers from Washington DC on

Try breastfeeding less each week, meaning that if you breast feed 4 times a day, only do it 3 times one week and then 2 times the next week and then maybe at bedtime the next week. Replace the other feedings with milk mixed with breast milk in a sippy cup. Your daughter definitely knows the difference but it just takes patience for her to get used to it, so just gradually change it.

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K.B.

answers from Norfolk on

It is all a matter of opinion, but personally I think that milk is not good for infants and toddlers. My son wouldn't take any dairy when offered either and ended up drinking soy formula or rice milk. Of course, rice milk is not loaded with nutrients but dairy is very difficult for children to digest and there is research that shows that children with allergies and other issues such as sleep and behavior do better when dairy is removed.
Of course, you should do what you feel is best for your daughter.
There is nothing wrong with breast feeding until the child wants to wean. In fact, it is probably better for the child if the child makes the choice to discontinue the feedings. It helps them to continue that bond and also is nutritionally beneficial and immune system building for them.
BUT.. if it isn't practical due to job, home-life, stress, etc.. then try all options (dairy, soy, rice milk) and see what she likes best. Follow her lead. Children are incredibly intelligent when it comes to knowing what their bodies can handle.
If you go with a formula or a drink such as rice milk or soy make sure it is supplemented with other nutrition from her fruits and veggies such as carrots,spinach,bananas,etc....They are more nutritious than milk and easier to digest.
I hope this helps and whatever you decide to do I hope that things work out well for you and your little one.

P.S. I just had time to go through the other posts and just want to say that there are other sources for calcium, that are much better for children, than cow's milk. Green leafy veggies like spinach is one. And it is always better to EAT your nutrition than to DRINK it.

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M.W.

answers from Boise on

Try using a straw cup. You want her to get passed bottles anyway, the straw cup is better than the sippy, it helps develop muscles in the mouth. Teach her how to suck through the straw but holding one end with the milk in it and let her suck it out the other end. Once she does this a few times then she should be good to go with the cup. If you can't get her to drink the milk itself. Then try to mix a little bit of milk into a cup with mostly breastmilk. The gradually increase the amount of milk and lessen the breastmilk. Congrats to you on nursing a year! I did the same, I started weining my daughter at 11 months to whole milk. She did excellent with it, and she got on a straw cup right away! Good luck to you!!

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N.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi, L. - Have you tried skim milk? Maybe it won't seem as "thick" to her. Obviously, you wouldn't want her on that for long, but if she'll take that, you could gradually go to 1%, 2%,....Good luck! N.

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J.B.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter was only interested in the breast as well. She had no interest in a bottle, ever! So we started with the soft spouted sippy cups. I cold let her shake it and play with it and she definitely got enough milk. We continued nursing mostly for comfort for a little while after that too.
Just a couple of things people have said here that i feel need some clarification...
Cow's milk is perfectly safe for MOST children, I would make sure you get the "hormone free" brands (we had a horrible time with hormone side effects, but that's another post all together!) For that matter, be careful and consult your pediatrician about soy milk too. Soy has been linked to early and over production of estrogen in girls leading to early development and menstruation. I know its hard to think about that when they are babies...but its out there.
Best of luck!

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S.B.

answers from Roanoke on

I have friends my age w/ little ones (mine are 23 & 16 & always accepted everything edible/drinkable w/ great gusto! LOL) slightly older than yours and, if I remember correctly, one was concerned w/ hormones, etc. in cow's milk and was told it's not going to be detrimental to a child not to drink cow's milk and, in fact, one of my friends weaned her kids to goat's milk as it's supposed to be more naturally like breast milk, is easier for their little bodies to process and which is apparently better all around for them. That might have enough of a taste like breast milk that your daughter would accept it... and, failing that, cutting breast/cow's milk as previously suggested until accepted, and the they'll-eat/drink-when-they're-hungry/thirsty thing is something my mother & different doctors always subscribed to and it's true. They won't allow themselves to starve/die of thirst. Best of luck!

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P.C.

answers from Charlottesville on

Change the flavor and color of the milk, you can add food coloring which will not hurt her, or give her chocolate or strawberry milk.

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T.B.

answers from Washington DC on

i haven't had this problem with my children.....but i would suggest using 2% milk (less fat then whole milk) and adding chocolate or strawberry syrup.

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A.G.

answers from Washington DC on

L.,

My breastfed babies never really liked a bottle. Our doctor thought that maybe it was an ear thing, anyway, we used sippy cups, but not the ones that were so hard to suck on. It worked great.

A.

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