Two Year Old Daughter Won't Mind or Listen!

I have to strongly disagree with the below response from Karen. You dont teach a child not to hit by hitting them. She is suggesting that whatever the 2 yr old does to the baby, that you lower yourself to the 2 yr old mentality and perform the same abusive action to her. So if the 2 yr old pokes the baby in the eye, you should poke the 2 yr old in the eye? Does that sound even remotely intelligent? That is barbaric, and frankly the lazy way out. All you will do is make your daughter fear you. She looks to you for love and protection, not pain.

As far as easing the situation..you have to find out the cause. Something is causing this normally very well behaved little girl to act out. Most times when it is a younger sibling/child that they are acting out against it is because they feel replaced, or no longer the "baby" and the center of attention. Make sure your mom is spending adequate time giving your daughter POSITIVE attention when she is behaving. When things flare up, Dont waste time telling her to stop, get up, and remove her from the situation immediately, Diffuse it ASAP, and redirect her energy elsewhere until she has calmed herself down. I know that this can be physically demanding, but thats life with a 2 yr old sometimes, and you have to be diligent and consistent. Freaking out, screaming, yelling and God forbid, hitting her back is all negative attention that she will continue to provoke...because to her, then she is the center of the universe and you all are stopping everything to deal with her.

Protect the baby of course, that is #1....but do it as calm and swiftly as possible. The less hullabaloo the better. Dont reward her inappropriate behavior with a big to-do. I hope I am not in the minority here with my anti-hitting stance. I have raised 1 child to adulthood 2 to near adulthood and have another coming up...and have never hit them, ever. They are all well behaved respectfull people that know well how to use their brains and not fists to solve problems.

hi K., i have the same problem with my daughter she is 3 and she does the same thing. i have tried everything too. one time she gave her cousin a black eye. and then her cousin turned around and gave her one too. all i can say is just stick with waht you are doing and it will sink in soon you just have to have faith that it will work.
any thing you want to say to me just ask and i will try to answer.

I think that there is a time a place for spanking. Not everytime something happens but sometimes it is appropriate. I think it is about how you do it rather that if you do it. It should never be in anger and completely controlled. A two year old is definatly old enough to be tought it is not acceptable to be mean to a baby, like the previouse mom said it just takes consistancey no matter how tired you are. And I agree also that it is about giving her lots of praise and positive feedback when she is being well behaved.

Sounds like a bit of jealousy. My 18 mo. old nephew gets jealous when grandma is holding my 5 mo. old daughter. As far as advice, I just don't know. I guess I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in that field!

If she feels like shes not getting enough attention, she'll want any kind even if its negative. My neice is horrible around my son but I try to make her feel like shes a big help. Like.." Can you take this toy to Preston" or "Come with me so we can make a bottle" She still can be mean but if I pay attention to her too things are a little better. If not call Super Nanny.:)