Trying to Get Pregnant... - La Grande,OR

The first thing I wonder....are you too thin?

2 of the most frequent causes for irregular periods are 1)stress & 2) poor diet &/or low body fat.

I had irregular periods my whole life and figured that was just the way I was. I wasn't thin by any means (I was an athlete), but my body fat hovered between 5-8%. (Ahhhh...to have that problem now...as I look at my waistband.) As soon as my BFI got over 11% (we won't say what it's at now, thankyouverymuch! :) my periods only get out of wack by a week or two around Final Exams & Midterms.

My very good friend who struggles with anorexia, knows she's been slipping without realizing it as soon as she starts skipping periods. Dieting, even healthily but especially radically, can also bring on changes to our cycles.

Our bodies are great things. Oddly enough they want us to be healthy. Stress brings on a huge chemical changeup to our entire system.(One of my professors likened it to "You don't want to be wasting energy digesting when you need that energy to outrun a bear! Or to leap a fence you ordinarily wouldn't even be able to climb, to get away from a Doberman!!) Unfortunately our nervous systems can't tell the difference between midterms, bills, and bears. So when we're under stress, pretty much the last thing our bodies want to be doing is to be spending untold amounts of energy growing a baby.

So, all in all. Relax. You already see your Doc. I'd recommend seeing a nutritionist just to "check in" and see how your diet is, and see if he/she thinks your diet/weight might have anything to do with your irregular periods. (Your doctor can probably recommend/refer several, and most take insurance.) It sounds like you and your husband are fertile...so enjoy yourself. Would you rather not have any more children then have one after 34? Probably not. So take care of yourself, enjoy your family...and before you know it...your family will be larger. It also helps that "time flies when you're having fun". Yikes. If I have to end on a cliche I prefer a yummier one like oysters and chocolate covered strawberries! (Thanks Melissa B! mmmmyum)

~Z.

S.,

One of the biggest inhibitors to getting pregnant is stress and pressure. Relax. Take a deep breath, order some oysters, chocolate dipped strawberries, and something for dinner. Relax. Put the romance back into your life. Relax. Get massages. Relax. Go on dates, enjoy each other's company, reconnect with your husband. Relax. :)

Reducing as much stress in your life as possible, and taking all the pressure off of gottahaveababy, gottahaveababy, and just waiting for it to happen should help your fertility issues tremendously.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

Hi,
I had problems conceiving also, took me two years with my daughter. I was put on a natural suplement called PCOS blend by my naturepath dr. It regulated me and really helped. I was also put on a thyroid supplement so you may have your thyroid checked out and see if that is part of the problem. I hope this helps.
A.

Hi S.,

You've gotten alot of really great advice here, so I have nothing new. I just want to, fifth or sixth the relax advice. Having a little bit of experience with the conceiving troubles, I know a little about what you're going through.

I miscarried my first pregnancy. I took it really hard and wanted to get pregnant again right away, despite being told to wait at least 6 mos...nope, we tried and tried and tried, and finally gave up. I didn't think it was going to happen again. Maybe irrationally, but I thought maybe the miscarriage was due to me not being able to conceive a baby properly(I was 17 and pretty distraught). As soon as we "stopped trying," and just had sex because we love each other and were into each other, we were pregnant w/in a few months.

My neighbor was the same way. Her and her husband had been trying for two years, and even though she hated me, she came to me one day and asked me how we did it. I thought she was joking. I did not want to start a talk that went "sometimes when two people love each other very much...." but seriously, she wanted to know how it happened so fast for us. I told her we just stopped trying so hard, and started enjoying it more. She took the advice and within 6 mos., they were pregnant.

A little over 10 years ago, I was having alot of trouble with my periods due to Depo Provera gone wrong. Breakthrough bleeding, massive cramping, weight gain, bad acne, depression(worse than usual), and a range of other troubles. Our fam med doc told me she thought my ovulation was out of whack, and she prescribed Clomid to get my ovulation back on track. Mind you, we weren't trying to get pregnant or anything. I just wanted to feel better. I had to get a basal thermometer and chart my temps(a rise in temps indicated ovulation) and when we had sex, and sure enough, after a few months of charting things and taking the meds, we ended up pregnant with our youngest who is 9.5. Again, we weren't trying to get pregnant, but the charting really helped me to know when I was about to ovulate and when I actually did, plus it helped me know the exact conception date.

So in short, the two simplest things you can do right now are: a. relax and enjoy your husband and yourselves. Have sex for fun and for love more than for the purpose of getting pregnant, and it might happen sooner than you think, and b. get a basal thermometer(available at Wal*Mart) and chart your temps, to see when you are ovulating. Like the other poster said, you have to do it first thing in the morning, but it's no big deal.

And, best of luck to you both. Have fun, and I hope I've helped! :o)

K. W

My best peice of advice is better said than done... relax! When you get so stressed out and determined your body tells itself that it is not safe for a baby right now because something stressful is going on. That is why so many women having fertility problems get pregnant as soon as they give up.

Hi S.,

I don't have anything to contribute regarding your Feunugreek question, but I recommend you read this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Reprod...

It may help you to understand your cycles and determine the time when you have the best chances of getting pregnant.

Good luck!

My naturopath says to have relations every other day to try to catch that egg when it's released, which can take some of the romance out of it. Naturopaths have lots of things to try and get you more regulated. She has me taking flax seeds every day, which she says can help stimulate ovulation. I grind them in the blender (or a coffee grinder) and I put them in rice milk, on cereal, in applesauce, etc. There are books like The Fertility Diet, Fertility Wisdom, etc that have lots of things to try... I'm trying to get pregnant too...

Dear S.

You can go to my book HOW THE UNIVERSE WORKS and look up the chapter on infertility or you can just use this recipe and receive the greatest gift the Creator can give a family...a healthy normal child.

MOTHER'S SOUP

This is an old long used and respected Chinese recipe for taking care of a woman's reproductive organs. It is used for all aspects of female problems associated with menstruation including PMS.
This soup is good for curing infertility, as a cleanser following miscarriage or abortion, to clean the uterus and stop excessive bleeding, or to regulate an irregular cycle. It is used in menopause to give relief from the symptoms and excessive bleeding.
It is taken as well when childbirth has left the women with unwelcomed side effects like bleeding far beyond the four weeks following birth or infrequent menstration.
The best time to make and eat the soup in mid-cycle. For menstruating women that time is twelve days after their last period.

l ounce Don Quai (Chinese measurement 3 ch'ien)
Fructus Lycii -one big hand full
6 Oriental dried dates
One Chicken (Organic) or Two Lamb Shanks (Organic)
Two big onions
carrots 2-6
options
Celery stalks if you like them.
a dash of soy sauce on your meals.

Use an enamel pot that has not been chipped. If you have a glass lined pot, Corning Ware or other non-metal impervious means of cooking like a Crock Pot that holds at least two liters of water you are ready to prepare Mother's Soup.

How to cook properly--

Bring ingredients to a high heat, turn level down just before they boil. Do not boil. Remove from heat source and place on the lowest heat you have (simmer or 200° in the oven). Cook for 24 hours very slowly. Keep pot covered unless you are serving yourself. Eat everything.

This is all you will eat for two days. You may add water during the cooking or reheating process and if you are thirsty you may drink other pure water.

S.,

There is a very big thing you can do!!!!! RELAX!!!!!

Stress in you body from worrying about not getting pregnant, or finances, or work or anything else will clamp up your body. I know it is so hard to just relax, so I'll tell you some of my tricks.

First, stand firm in your faith. What ever you believe in, stand in that glory. For me, I pray. I pray for calm, love, and the will to accept what ever my destiny is. Sometimes just knowing this is where I'm supossed to be helps me to let things go.

Next, talk to your husband. Stay up all night one night. Don't just talk about this, but everything that you can think of. TV, movies, music, world events, the Olympics, whatever! You might laugh or cry, but knowing you are that close to him can help you to relax.

Next, don't rush it. You will have another baby, when and only when you are meant to! Time is a relative concept that no one has control of. Let things happen the way they are going to happen.

4th, revell in your son NOW!!! While we get so wrapped up in getting that second baby "before it's too late" remember that he is already there! You were already blessed and need to soak that in.

And finally, you may have to realize that a) you've only been trying for 3 months. It takes time to make babies. But if you are that worried, start looking into adoption! That is a long deal, too. But think of the satisfaction. There are so many kids in this country that need homes, parents and the love you obviously have in spades. Share the love with a child who might not get that without you!!!

Good luck!

Hi S.! I just met with a friend the other night who has testified to using acupuncture for infertility, and many others she had come across during their journey of infertility, who had success after using acupuncture (and I think they took some herbal remedies as well. But it may be worth a try! I would just make an appointment with one, and at least talk through things to see if it is something you would like to try. Good Luck to you!

Have you looked into PCOS? It probably isn't if you got pregnant in a year with your first, but it is a posibility. When you concieve the baby doesn't really attach and live off of you for like the first month so I have heard so you have a little bit of leeway(sp). Try counting 14 day since the start of your period and then have a lot of sex for three or so days (or more if you want). There are 3 days that you are fertile and they are about 14 days after you period starts.

I can understand some of the stress and pressure. Have you read any getting pregnant advice on sites like babycenter? Besides relaxing, exercising and getting out in the fresh air for 20 min a day is supposed to help. Think of the benefits relaxing, healthy and more energy so more likely to want sex.
Some people say fish oil increases sex drive. It should help your heart health and future baby's brain. I'm trying it, but I haven't noticed a big difference in desire for sex.
Don't forget the romance and being friends with your husband. I know with both of you working and a toddler it can be difficult. But it does help.

Try acupuncture. I did and my acupuntcurist was able to help even out my cycles in a matter of 4 or 5 months. Then we tried to concieve, using the temperature charting. We concieved our first month of trying. I also had my heavy metals checked and then chelated for those at high levels. I also took prenatals and fish oil. Getting healthy and removing strain from your immune system will improve your chances.

Also read the Harvard nurse's study on fertility. Newsweek covered it last fall I think. Very interesting information!

Unfortunitly I have no info for u as I too am trying to concieve and don't have regular periods thanks to having a thyroid problem.Took my ex and I 2 yrs to get pregnant, though my now fiance and I don't want to wait another 2 yrs because we want the kids to be close in age since we'll be waiting longer till trying for the next.

What are the reasons they say fenugreek isn't to be taken while pregnant? My dr suggested it when I was breastfeeding my daughter because I was having trouble with supply/demand.I think because it's a herbal supplement that if u stopped taking it asap when u found out u where pregnant then things should be fine, as they are with so many other things.

Try and relax...and good luck.
-M.

I would make sure you and your husband are getting the proper levels of zinc and magnesium. Both are essential for reproduction in both sexes. The effects of both are felt within a month and after 6 months of taking zinc or eating zinc rich foods the sex drive will increase or be back. I take a calcium, magnesium, zinc supplement ever day. Just something natural that won't harm a baby if you do happen to conceive. I wish you good luck and everyone is right about relaxing, making babies is supposed to be fun. Oh and on a side note I was fertile immediately following my period like within 3 days.

Hi S.,

It took me and my husband nearly four years (I gave birth to our little girl two weeks ago). It's not easy when you want something so badly...especially when you're used to achieving what you set out to.

I started out by seeing a naturopath, making sure that I was eating properly, that my hormones were all in balance...essentially to prepare my body for pregnancy. A lot of times, herbal supplements and homeopathic remedies say: Don't take while pregnant. I think it's a liability thing much of the time, because my naturopath and midwives had me on several supplements throughout my pregnancy that had that warning on the bottle. So I would check with a healthcare provider who is familiar with these remedies.

And while I know it seems like a long time, the average couple takes six months to conceive. So light some candles, don't forget the romance because I believe our emotions/psyche have a profound effect on our bodies' ability to conceive....especially, I think, for men. Baby's have a way of creating their own schedules.

I know 3 people who conceived after working with an acupuncturist. One of them had been trying for 2 yrs. Then it took her about 6 mths of treatment. Another person I know it didn't work for but she was 40 when she started trying.
Acupuncture and the chinese herbs are very good at regulating cycles. I think this is a big part of it.
Good luck
I can find out who they went to see if you like

With Donna L, I recommend finding a relaible charting method. Lots of people use expensive ovulation tests ... but probably you don't need to. Natural Family Planning (NFP) is the more scientifically successful version of the old (famously not-successful) Rhythm Method. NFP uses natural signs from your body to tell you what is going on hormonally. They claim 99% accuracy rate. (I am one of the women for whom it didn't really work ... but I finally have a diagnosis that explains the excess mucous production. I am also one of the women who starts ovulating while I'm still nursing ... argh!!)

[OH!! Are you still nursing? Apparently, the NORMAL thing (I was so irritated when I found this out) is that if you are still nursing, AT ALL, even a little, you won't ovulate. Early weaning is so standard in America that I hear doctors don't even think to ask this once the older shild is like a year old. I start ovulating at about 8 months, no matter HOW much the earlier baby is still nursing!]

The advantage with NFP is that you can take classes and they have counselors to help get you on your feet, instead of just a book, if you don't do well with just a book.

However you might feel about the Catholic Church, it is widespread, and that means you should be able to hook up with NFP classes in most (all?) areas of the country. I can't remember how much Catholic theology was mentioned ... in the classes/counseling, none at all, but I think there was some in the associated book (by way of explaining why the method was developed, in this time of 'easy' birth control).

Read the book "Taking Charge of your Fertility". Seriously. Read it twice. (It would be better titled, "Everything You Didn't Know You Didn't Know About Your Fertility.") Every woman needs to read the book. I was so amazed by the understanding of my cycle it gave to me.

Best wishes!

You could have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which is one of the most common reasons for irregular periods. I have it, and have always had long cycles with no idea when ovulation occurs. Diagnosis is tricky--it's a spectrum disorder, so you can have three symptoms but not three others. I diagnosed myself after my sister was officially diagnosed by an endocrinologist; it does run in families. I asked to go on Metformin to regulate my periods and got pregnant within three months (and had regular periods for the first time every). Look into it--you never know.

I would get an ovulation test kit, so you would know when is the best time without having to rely on your period for the cue.

Hi S.. I agree with the suggestions below about seeing an acupuncturist. Before anything else, you need to get your cycles regular. Acupuncture and Chinese herbs can help with that. I was on birth control for 17 years and started getting acupuncture 6 months before I went off the pill to help keep my cycle in sync. I conceived within 6 months. I am also an acupuncturist so I know this can help.

Stay positive, relax and I wish you the best!

Acupuncture would be my suggestion. It can help you regulate your cycles and aid in everything. I recommend Charles Wilk at the Marshall Street Clinic. He is phenomenal.

Hi S.,

I have a friend who just had a baby and is taking Fenugreek to help increase her milk supply and she mentioned that she read somehwere that Fenugreek is taken by women in India to miscarry in situations when they have accidentally concieved. I would defintely do some more research on Fenugreek to make sure that isn't hurting your chances of conception. This same freind also used the book "Taking Charge of your Fertility" by Toni Weschler and it really helped her learn about her cycle and pinpoint when she ovulated.

Hope that helps some. Good Luck! C.

Hello S.,
I do not know much about the period, but I do know of a few women who got pregante while breast-feeding and not having their periods. I'm think (and I'm not 100% sure of this either) that some women can ovulate, but not get a period.
My husband and I have been trying for our second baby since January and it took us a year to get pregnant with our daughter. I know how it feels to go through the waiting game. I'm not going to tell you to relax, because I know no matter how many times and how many people tell you this it's just too hard to do. There are two sites out there that are helpful to track (periods (although I'm not sure what you would track if you are not having a period), signs of ovulation, etc there's firtilityfriend.com (which is only free for the first month) and MyMonthlyCycles.com, they may have some helpful information.
Lastly, I live in CA (my friend in WA fwd me posts that I might like) and we recently had a fertility question and it's amazing the different responses people give down here compare to up there. If you are interested in having me fwd that post to you let me know.
Best of luck!

Has your Dr. investigated what could be causing the problem? For instance polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS)? Or something else? Maybe it's time to change Drs.

I bought ovulation tests from Amazon.com. They were least expensive there..

I would recommend reading "Taking Charge of your Fertility". I think every woman needs to read this book... I certainly would NOT recommend it for birth control (I know several people who chose this book as birth control and now they all have beautiful babies.) However, every woman is different and this book will help you to 'read' your body for signs of ovulation rather than looking at timetables of "average" women and trying to guess by when your period arrives. I was astonished at how many things I never noticed about myself before I read this book! This and the Dr. Shettles book "How to Choose the Sex of your Baby" helped us to conceive our daughter after having two wonderful boys.

at Vitiman world there is vitamin called Chasteberry that worked to regulate my cycle from 40-45 days to 28-32 days. And it's all natural. currently I am trying a new natural one that is call Fertiltiy blend from GNC that is regulating my periods too..hoping it will help me get pregnant.

Don't look at the calander. My OB/GYN said that having sex at least 3 times a week will get you pregnant (as long as nothing is blocked). Make sure that sex is throughout the week.

S.,
I work with a nutritional supplement, Reliv, comes in a powder form and is patented as a food (which means it is completely safe for anyone and has no side effects). I took it during my 2nd pregnancy and had a much better pregancy and content baby. So many women have had it help balance them out. In particular it helped my friend Laren start ovulating and become pregnant. Other friends have completely missed menopause, another PMS, and the list goes on. I would love to share a little more with you about how this works. Please feel free to contact by phone or emial.

D.
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Hi S.! We had the same problem trying to conceive our son (who is now 28 months old) because it turned out I have a thryoid problem. Has your doctor discussed that possibility with you? Once I got onto my medication, I became pregnant within 3wks! My period was always irregular too, until I started the medication.