J.C.
Send him to daycare? what??? I don't understand why someone would say that maybe you should put him in daycare? That's like saying "okay, I can't find the answer, so let's let someone else deal with it".
Sorry, I'm not trying to sound harsh at all, it just really caught me off guard when I read that.
My thoughts on this kind of behavior is that it's their age. BUT, it's not that the tantrums are excusable because of them being two, but rather, their desire to test our limits are what is expected and excusable at this age. You just have to remember that it's excusable for him to test you, but you can't have the lesson end with you giving in because if you do, you will be awarding him and teaching him that the only thing he has to do to get his way is throw a fit. The reason he's throwing tantrums is because at his age it's the only way he knows to show that he's angry. It's the only way he knows to get his way. When he throws these fits, you need to not pay any extra attention to it. As a matter of fact, when my son began doing this, I would pick him up and set him in his room and bend over until I was eye level and calmly say "I know you're mad because you want to play outside, but mommy said it's time to come in. When you're done acting this way, you can come out". The first couple of times he sat back there and cried for a long time, and I went back a couple of times to remind him that if he stops crying, he could come out. I listened, and as soon as he stopped crying, even if only for a couple of seconds, I would open his door and say "Are you done now? You can come out". After the first few times, all I had to say was "go to your room until you're finished" and he would go to his room himself. It only takes a minute or so now before he calms himself down. I'll tell you what though, my first child has never thrown a tantrum...ever. And my second, the boy I've been referring to, has only had one tantrum. It was a very mild one in Meijer one day and I bent down there in the aisle and said "Let me know when you're done and we will finish shopping together". Then, I walked away from him. I went far enough that he realized that his tantrum was doing no good, but not far enough that I couldn't see him out of the corner of my eye while I pretended to read or look at something. Just remember that their two's and sometimes even their three's are years of them learning. They're learning about things that are educational, and they're learning about how far they can push their parents before they'll give in, and how they can get their way. If you don't award their bad behaviors by giving in, you're teaching them very valuable lessons. It's hard, believe me I know how hard it can be. But, if you really stick to your guns and not let any of the parental control shift into the hands of the child, life is so much easier as a parent, and even more importantly, as a child. Kids don't WANT to be bad, but they only know what they are taught. I think that many parents give into their children because they don't want to hear them cry anymore or because they feel bad because they think their child is being damaged somehow by letting them cry things out by themselves. Well, it's more damaging for a child to grow up and start school thinking that they are entitled to have things how they want them. What happens when something as simple as one of their friends wants to play something and the child who's used to getting their way refuses and insists on playing what they want to play? Well, eventually the child who's not flexible is going to end up either being one of those snotty kids, or they will end up without very many friends, or worse yet, they could end up being a bully. We have to remember that we are responsible for molding our children by instilling values in them. We can't let guilt or feelings of giving up dictate what we teach our children.
