Tips for Potty Training My 23 Month Old Daughter

Updated on October 12, 2006
J.C. asks from West Haven, CT
10 answers

My daughter is learning to go on the potty and sometimes she tells me when she has to go and does, other times she can go a week without wanting to do this. She knows when she is going and when she needs to be changed. I wake up in the morning to her naked in her crib because she says "ew" to the wet diaper. I thought Potty training only takes a couple weeks at the most once they realize what is going on and what to do? Why is she not trained yet? We praise her and do something special for her everytime she does go in the potty, so what am I doing wrong?

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So What Happened?

I want to thank everyone for their help, I really appreciate the advice, we are going to try the underwear thing, and see how it works out, shw was quick to learn everything else like no more bottles and binkies, one day she just threw them at me and wanted no more.. she is very independent and I think it just a matter of time before she gets it, she is very smart for her age and is a year a head of herself. I will keep you all posted and thenk you so much for all the advice!!

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J.S.

answers from Lewiston on

She is young. If you truly think she's ready I'd lose the daytime diapers. Get some plastic pants if you are worried about messes but avoid pull-ups. My daughter was a bit older but trianed in about 3 days this way...

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G.L.

answers from Buffalo on

What worked for me was leaving my 2 year old in her underwear no matter what. When we went out to the stores and during nap time. She had accidents but eventually she finally understood the concept of using the big girl potty.

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R.D.

answers from Portland on

Don't get dicouraged but, They will not completely be trained until they decide to do it. It will take more like several monthes and you have to be persistant but not pushy.
My son was going potty on the toilet all the time, it was going #2 that was harder and did not happen until he wanted to do it.
Following my doctor's adivice, I started taking things he liked away. When I did he would say "I don't care" and he wouldn't be bothered by it at all.
Then one day he just decided he was going to do it, and he never went.This was a great day!
Just be patient and don't give up!

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A.L.

answers from Providence on

She is still young. Some kids have not started yet. My daughter started at 18 mths. BUT she told me she wanted to use the potty like me. So I took that and ran with it! I let her be naked in the house since it was easier for her not to have to pull pants down. She did good except she wanted a diaper to poop. Then somebody told me not to let her have the diaper cuz it was confusing. So I said thats it. I put the regualr underwear on her except at night we used a pull up and called that special night underwear. She loved that. She did have accidents and had one in public but they learn fast once they don't have the diaper on. Some kids do get it right away but you still need to be on top of them for months after they get it. Some say the older they are when they start the faster they get it because they understand easier. We also used the sticker/reward system as we had for other things and that also helped. She also had some friends the same age who happened to start at the same time so she saw them doing it too. It took her longer than them but thats ok. Like I said she started at 18 mths and was probably good to do it by herself(besides wiping)by her 2nd bday. So it took awhile for me to feel like I did not have to ride her to go. She is 3 now and I still ask when I notice she has not gone in awhile. Even now she holds it in so long that sometimes she barely makes it and has even wet the floor or a liitle in her clothes. We also had some books that she really liked and those helped too. You know your kids personality so you can figure which thing you feel may help. Like another mom said too just be consistent, once you take the diaper away do not go back! Then she will know you will give in. Once I did my daughter would not poop on the floor or in her pants. She only had pee accidents. I think I got pretty lucky. At the time you feel like it is taking forever but then you look back and it was not so bad. There are some kids who don't get it until 4-5 years! I since had another baby, 7mths ago, and am thrilled that she got it before he came! I feel for you but it will work out she just may need to go at her own pace. She may regress a bit in the process and it is easy to get mad but try not to. Try talking to her about it when she does. Good luck!

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A.O.

answers from Lewiston on

I went through very close to the same thing with my daughter. Good news is because its eww to her means she is ready for sure! What I did was move her to a toddler bed when potty training seemed to only be held up at night time. I also left a lighted path to the bathroom and she got up all on her own in no time. Becuase she thought it was yucky she was my easiest of three to train! Hope this helps a little ~smiles~

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L.B.

answers from Utica on

Hi J.,
My name is L.. I was having the same problem with my daughter. I was told if you offer them stickers to decorate the potty with after each time they use it they will be more into it. So I went out and got stickers of her favorite caracters and started doing that and sure enough it worked out excellent. I guess it works as a reward. I went bigger when she finally pooped on the potty. I went to Wal Mart with her and let her pick out a princess dress because it was such a milestaone that she finally went poop. She would always wait to go till we got her pull up on her for bed. If you try thins I hope it works out for you. Good luck
L.

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M.A.

answers from Boston on

http://www.learn2potty.com ~ Excellent tips! :-)

www.amazon.com has a ton of low price, cheap DVDs and VHS's. Currently, I am watching one right now called Potty Training 101.

When It�s Time for Potty Training

There are many wonderful ways to help our kids think for themselves and help them become wiser. The following is a story about Harry, who learned, along with his family, that potty training can be fun, for both parent and child.

Little Harry lives in a house that has two bathrooms � one upstairs and one downstairs. One morning, his father said, �Hey, Harry! You want to use the upstairs potty or the downstairs potty?�
�Upstairs! Upstairs potty! Harry said.
A Love and Logic parent, his father smiled and said, �You want to have fun while we�re doing this, or not have fun?�
The great thing about choices with little kids is that they love making them � even when the options we give seem a bit silly to us. The decisions they make on their own make them feel important, leave them with a sense of control, and give them lots of chances to exercise their brains.
Harry looked at his dad as if he were crazy and giggled, �Fun! I want to have fun!�
�Great,� said his dad. �Do you want to bring a drink in with you, or do you want to wait until you�re done?�
�Wait till I�m done!�
�Do you want to bring Clarence, your stuffed sea otter, with us, or do you want to leave him?�
�Bring him!� Harry says, as he goes to retrieve his favorite stuffed playmate.
Now, Harry�s dad moves to the next step � modeling. Although some parents might find it a little embarrassing, modeling is the best way to teach your kids just about anything. Harry�s dad thinks it�s great.
�Hey! I really have to use the bathroom!� he says enthusiastically to his son. �Why don�t you come in with me? Let�s go. Let me show you how it�s done!�
He shows his son how he uses the bathroom. �This is so much fun! he laughs. �Someday when you�re big enough, I bet you�ll be able to use the potty like me! Then you can have fun, too! Boy! I love using the potty! I can even wipe myself! Check this out!� He flushes the toilet and waves, �Bye-bye!� as they look into the toilet.

The logic here is clear. Kids want to be like their parents. Whatever parents do, kids naturally want to be able to do, too. And if parents think it�s fun, kids will, too. So, parents have some choices when it comes to potty training:
� We can allow ourselves to become embarrassed and refuse to model this skill.
� We can fight with our kids over the issue and try to force them to be ready before they actually are.
� We can decide to have some fun, take the pain out of the process, and build strong relationships with our kids. How? Use lots of choices � and model, model, model!

When Parents offer choices, model, and make a task fun, learning happens quickly.

When Accidents Happen

If you know how to ride a bike, you probably remember falling a few times before finding the right balance. When we�re learning something new, accidents are bound to happen. So it is with out children when they are not potty-training age.
Successful parents dole out empathy and say, �Oh, you had an accident! That�s too bad! I love you, Sweetie.� They take their time and don�t rush anything, because there�s no set timetable for potty training. Every child has his or her own unique schedule of development.
Some children potty train at two, some when they�re four, and some at every age in between. It all depends on the child. A wise parent locks in empathy and waits for kids to develop the skill on their own. Then, when a child is successful, a parent can say, �You did it! I bet that feels great!�
Unsuccessful parents have a pattern, too. When their kids make a mistake, they get upset, or angry. They say, �You messed your pants again! That�s not nice! We don�t do that! Now you better learn how to do this right! You�re going to sit here until you use the potty!�
You can guess what happens. The child sees frustrated parents, and the child gets frustrated, too. Like any task we�re expected to perform under pressure, potty training becomes an undesirable chore. What a bummer!
-END-

This is directly from Chapter Two, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years by Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Ph.D. - www.loveandlogic.com

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J.C.

answers from New York on

You are doing nothing wrong. Some kids I think get it right away and others just take time. I have a 3 1/2 year old and he is still giving me problems. I keep him in underwear except at night after his bath I then put a diaper on for him to sleep in, but he just does not like going poops on the potty. He too knows when he has to go but it's I think a security thing. Or he waits for me to put his diaper on for the night and then goes to the bathroom in it. Believe me you are not alone. I thought too it just takes a couple weeks and viola your done. But I was wrong. But what I think I have learned from all this that the key is consistency, always ask your daughter like every hour or two if she has to use the bathroom it will help. And don't give up on any day. Good Luck!

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A.A.

answers from Utica on

Hi J.,
You are not doing anything wrong. The people that say that it only takes a couple of weeks, i am sure are the ones that say their child has been sleeping through the night since day one. The ones that we all envy, but sometimes don't really believe. My oldest daughter is now 4, but it took FOREVER to potty train. She would do the same things as your daughter is doing. As soon as i relaxed about it and decided she will do it when she is ready, it wasn't so tramatic for me or her. When she started getting better about the potty training, but still a little lazy, i put her into regular underwear. She had two accidents and she decided that she didn't like being wet, and she was potty trained. There were a few accidents here and there, but it was very exciting when she would tell me it was time to go potty. WE would sing and dance, anywhere we went. So this may not help your situation, but i wanted to let you know that sometimes you have to throw the books away, and stop listening to people, and just let things happen when they happen. Obviously if it gets ridiculous and she is 5 and not potty trained their is a problem, but just relax. She is still young. My oldest was just 3 when she was potty trained. So there is hope for you. Good luck, and relax, it will happen. Rmember, the baby may be causing some delay for the older one too. My oldest wanted me to constantly wipe her, which she was totally capable of, but i believe it was because i had to do it for the baby. So for a while i did wipe her so their wasn't any sibling issues. Then came in the bribes and prizes when she would wipe herself. Anyways, sorry so long winded, but hopefully this helps.

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E.J.

answers from New York on

Don't go crazy!!! my now 27 months old daugther showed signs to go potty very early so I took Advantage on that and she's being potty train since 18 months.wow. I took her to the store so she could pick a toilet seat especially for her, I give her treats or buy her toys when ever she goes. I help a million so I hope it will help you. You can make it fun and read to her while she is potting. make a big deal evertime she goes. celebrate it and she wil go often just for the fun of it.

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