Throwing a Baby Shower from Afar

Updated on June 05, 2011
S.T. asks from Wakarusa, IN
14 answers

Okay, my sister-in-law is expecting. They live in New York. I come from a large family, most of whom live in Indiana. Unfortunately, the expecting parents don't feel comfortable flying out to IN to attend a shower. And also unfortunate, is that because of several health issues, and financial situations, the hope of all of us going out to them looks unlikely. So my question is, does anyone have any creative, unconventional ideas on how to honor them, 'throw them a shower" from afar? I'm thinking maybe a video, a book with personal ideas of things a mother needs to know.... things like that. Anyone have this experience? The new mother has lots of friends whom I'm sure will provide the traditional shower, but as her in-laws, we'd like to do something special too.

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L.M.

answers from Norfolk on

Why not have something like a tea in her honor, make a video tape with congratulations, best wishes, parenting advice and send her the video.

1 mom found this helpful

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E.B.

answers from Fort Collins on

I agree that is a wonderful idea. I would second the photo album idea with photos of the long distance relatives because it would also give their child a chance to get familiar with relatives they will not get to see much.

Due to some very unkind complications we did not get to see my stepson for over two years and he was not able to meet his new little sister until she was nearly two years old. We have a digital photo frame with his photos in it and we made sure to show her the photos as she grew. When the our two kids were finally able to meet, she ran right in to his arms because she already knew who he was.

1 mom found this helpful

L.M.

answers from New York on

That sounds very nice. I would think pooling money together and getting one big ticket item like a crib or stroller etc and shipping it, as well as maybe something really special like making a DVD with really sweet messages to her baby to be that she can save and play for her child when she or he is a little older. Also putting together a cute little photo album for baby with pictures of each relative in Indiana, and a little message from each on each page. Infants love pictures of faces and this could be shown to a small baby and then shown later with the messages. Nice keepsakes, I think she would really love things like this!

1 mom found this helpful

C.A.

answers from New York on

A friend of ours did that. They lived in NY while the expecting parents lived in Indiana. They went by her registry and had the gifts delivered to her. They also threw a party and all the guests that sent gifts out to them where there. They had decorations, cake, signed a t shirt the works. They also called them so that every guest could talk to them. If you have a unlimited calling plan or get a 120 minute calling card that would help. Also if you are able you can do skypes so that you can video call and they could "be there" for the party. The expecting parents saved the gifts for the "party" and opened them while on the phone. It was a pretty cool idea and the parents loved it that they had a party for them in another state.

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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

I wonder if you could use Skype?? It is even possible now to have more than 2 people using their computers at the same time. If 3 or 4 of you have laptops...bring them along to the "shower"....and all of you hook up together so that your sister in law can see more of you and you all can see her at the same time. It might be better to wait until after the baby is born...a few weeks old...so that Mom feels recovered and is more comfortable with the new little one. That way all of the long distance relatives can "meet" the new baby...and share their congratulations.
Maybe you could ask each person to write up some advice..humorous or old wives tales...or serious things that new Moms' don't think of right away....to tell her while on Skype.
Since it would be expensive and impractical for you to mail actual gifts to your SIL...possibly all of you could go in on one gift card to one of the stores that your SIL has listed on her gift registry.
You could go as far as you want to as far as making it a "shower" take pictures to send to her...have a cake...play games ( you could be the stand in Mom...)...things that would make it a fun occassion as the family gets together.
I love the idea of a book to send to her...include pictures from the "shower"...maybe have each participant write down their advice to her and put it into the book. Does someone within the family do memory book type craft? They could make a really wonderful gift for her with all of the photos, advice etc!!
Hopefully, after the baby is born and things settle down a little then the new little family can come back to Indiana for a real get together!!!

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R.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

You can download Skype on your computer and SIL can be 'video present' and talk to and hear and see everyone if you have a camera on your computer, at the shower. If you don't have a camera on your computer, I think you can buy one and plug it in.

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K.I.

answers from Muncie on

I had friends who ended up in the hospital during her shower that was planned. they took video of the party included each guest opening the gift they brought and then carefully re wrapped each gift the same and packaged themm up for the happy couple to open with the video. It was fun and she felt like she was still part of the party.

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Skype? Do you both have the ability to Skype Call ... You can hook up your laptop to a big screen TV so they can all see the guests of honor, everyone can ship the gifts to them and you can do one of those "tastes of New York" or any other famous city that ships food out and all you have to do is heat and eat to them and yourselves so everyone is eating the same stuff, you can send a few decorations too. You could get creative if you send them stuff and do it via skype. Good Luck with the plans.

K.L.

answers from Redding on

I actually did a birthday party for a friend who lived here, but her kids and parents were farther away and couldnt come. I sent each kid, and the parents a box in the mail with a cake mix, frosting mix, candles, streamers, balloons, and party hats. (birthday in a box) I sent a disposable camera to them all also in a small box. I had taken the cameras and boxes to the post office and had them prestamped with the right postage and addressed to me. I gave them instructions to bake the cake and decorate. Hang streamers,Invite their friends. Light the candles, wear the hats and have a party taking pictures the whole time. Then send the cameras back to me in the postage paid box. OMGosh what fun they had! It was way beyond what I had expected. They had the best times, and went far and above what I had asked. I ended up putting together a scrap book for my friend and then took her to dinner and gave it to her that night. Yes she cried...lol... So, with digital cameras and computers now, Im sure you can think of a way to have family get together in their own homes with whoever they can, and have a party with gifts for sister in law. I know it can be fun to have the wrapping party and the videos or pictures can show the gifts being wrapped and then mailed to you. You can then put it all together to send in a photo album along with the gifts to her.That way she will get it all at once and get to open gifts, and see the smiling faces of her family who love her. And they all had a party too! And no one had to fly, and no one spread germs either,,lol.. How nice of you to think of her.

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L.

answers from Cleveland on

If the mom is registered at babies r us or wal mart or JC Penneys ect, you can go online, pick out the gifts and have them shipped directly to the couple.
Easy!
I would send out invites just as if you were having the shower at your house, but then explain how to send a gift if they want.

L.M.

answers from Dover on

I suggest that you all get together and send a package containing gifts from all of you and either ship it to her or send it with somone who can attend her traditional shower so it can be opened there. I would get in touch w/ her hubby and be sure that you (or someone from your side of the family) is invited and/or maybe offer to help in some way. Maybe also video family members providing well wishes that can be played at the shower.

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M.P.

answers from Houston on

When I was expecting my second baby, my cousin from Mexico, whom I love dearly sent me a basket with baby cothes, towel and burp cloths with a plush toy. I really thought it was SOOOO nice and considerate of her, since a lot of people because of the distance just do not think of buying or sending anything.... no one else did, but her!.... and she is married to my cousin, she is not blood related!

There are a lot of options for this kind of baskets in the internet on nice websites like one step ahead or baby center.....I am sure that even at babiesrus you can find a nice gift.....

Maybe you can put together a "Group Gift" and send her something really really big like the stroller or car seat or both.... or a full collection of bath necessities for baby with a lot of diapers! you would save her a lot of money. That is always very very welcome!

Also if she is a first time mom, an extremely useful book is "What to expect the first year" by Heidi Murkoff.... believe me is a mind and health saver!

I think that she will appreciate very much the fact that you want to be part of this important time and of your soon nephew or nice life. Is so good that you want to do something for them!

Good luck, hope I helped.

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K.F.

answers from Dallas on

The large majority of my family lives out of state. I'm not sure if they all actually got together or not, but one of my cousins gathered some gifts from various family members and sent them to me. I didn't know a lot of these family members at the time but it meant the world to me. It was extremely thoughtful and made me feel special. I think anything you do will mean a lot.

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A.C.

answers from Muncie on

We had one for a friend and as a kick off, we had a small cake and balloons delivered to her door on a Monday. Then we asked all her out-of-town friends to send a gift/card that would arrive that week! She had a blast expecting the packages and surprises! She said it was better than a two hour shower because it lasted all week and she was in the comfort of her own home!

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