The Inlaws Need Pictures... and More Pictures and More and More and More....

I find myself irritated when I see other people annoyed when their inlaws want things of their grandchildren. I WISH I had inlaws that gave a hoot about my daughter... they complain about not having money but yet they always have enough money to go gambling and play bingo. They smoke in their house and when my brother-in-law asked them to stop when they had their daughter almost 4 years ago they said "NO! It's their house!" I could go on and on but you get my point...you could be in my shoes ;)

Sorry, but I really don't see the big deal here. You should feel blessed to have them!

Are these their only grandchildren? If so I would call it completely normal.
If not it's still not really all that odd. My in-laws have two other grandchildren. After my kids were born my FIL would download all of our pictures, every last one, when they came to visit. He loves editing pics and making slide shows, so he would put together little movies for us. It was fine with me; I didn't have to make the slide shows, I could share them with my family too, and he shared them with all of his family so I didn't have to bother sending out pics to everyone. Of course he also shared all the pics he took with me too, so it was reciprocal.

If it really bothers you just move the pics that you are ok with him copying to a folder for him, then let him have at it. You also might want to set up some photo ops when you go visit - even just taking the kids outside and then asking your ILs if they would like you to take their camera out and get some pics for them.

My sister got my Mom something really cool for Mother's Day. It's a Digital frame that is wifi and you can email pictures to the frame! That way you don't always have to be going through pictures and making disks and they'll still have some. It might be an easier option.

Honestly, I don't think it is odd. I think it is great. My crazy MIL doesn't ask for pictures, doesn't want hard copies of pictures (has specifically asked not to be sent hard copies of pics). She is ok with us emailing pics but has NEVER asked. She has never taken a single picture of them either and yet she does artistic photography for which she has won contests. I think SHE is weird. Maybe they are a little over the top but at least they are proud of their grandkids. :)

I think it's sweet. Annoying, probably, but still sweet. I would like that problem. My in-laws have a ton of pictures up in their house- of their other granddaughter, not my kids. If I don't give them pictures (which they never ask for), they wouldn't have any of my kids. They never take out their camera when we're together. I guess my opinion is that it's better for them to err on the side of too much loving than not enough!

no, I don't think it's odd. Do they have other grandkids? And why is it such a big deal? I don't care if people want to see all of my pictures of my kids. I'd take it as a compliment. They're not asking you to print and pay for the pictures, so there's no cost. They're even bringing their own USB so it's not inconvenient for you. Next time you go, suggest something fun to do. Maybe they're just at a loss.

My ILs never ask for pictures of my kids. They live across the country, so they never get to see my kids. I would think that they would at least ask for a picture every once in awhile. My husbands mother certainly has the money to fly out here once a year, but refuses to do so. I would love it if she would ask me for any and all pictures of my kids.

This sounds like me. I want all the pictures I can get of my grandchildren and especially the ones not in town that we don't see often. It's just that you love them and are so proud of them and want to see them and for others to see them. They're part of you too as the grandparent.
As for the fun things. that also sounds like me. I had 8 children and never was and never will be a 'fun' person but I sure do love each one of them and enjoy watching them have fun. We're all different, good or bad, and you can love without being a 'fun' person. As for whipping out their own camera, that's a great idea. Maybe buy them one for a gift and help them learn to use the computer programs, like Shutterfly, etc.
Be glad they want to see pictures of the kids. They must love them.

We have always lived a good distance from some or all of our family and my solution was to pick the best pics, the ones I really wanted to share, and load them up on Shutterfly.com on a share site (its all free) and invite my in laws, parents, aunts, uncles, etc to view them. They can download the pictures if they have an account, look as often as they want and even order prints for pretty cheap.

They also have some of the digital picture frames with an account you can set up that will automatically send pictures you put on a special site directly to that frame. If you bought the frame for them, and they paid the monthly fee for access to the pics, it might help too.

So, long story longer, no - doesn't seem odd that they want to "see" their grandkids more often. Might seem intrusive to you, but there are ways around that.

Aww, I think it's nice. I'm a picture nut so I guess it wouldn't bother me. I love sharing the pictures I take.

Something you might consider --- I have a family photo website through Shutterfly. (Free) Friends and Family can order prints of any pictures they like, and have easy access to look at the kids and see what they've been up to. We have a lot of family all over the country. Here is a link to their sample site http://www.shutterfly.com/sites/create/sample.sfly?fid=e3... That might work for you?

You also might consider getting your inlaws a digital camera if they don't have one? And a digital picture frame.. sounds like they would love something that cycles through a lot of pictures of the kids. :)

Yes it may be a little odd but I don't see the harm. Maybe you could get them a digital camara as a gift and suggest they practice on your kids during visits. Invite them to go for a picnic at a park or the zoo so they can get a varity of pics. As parents get older they get wierder. My mom hardly wants to go anywhere anymore but will do it for the grandkids. Look at it this way giving your in-laws your photos is a great way to back up your collection in case of a fire or other natural disaster that might ruin you collection. Many of my favorite pics got ruined when a fishtank leaked over time and I didn't catch it until most were ruined. Befor CD's. But I know a few people who have had fires, and loosing their pictures was one of the biggest heartbreaks.
Best of luck
Peggy

MY Inlaws have never EVER asked for a photo. They live in FL. Why dont you surprise them with a camera for your next visit! I am sure they mean well and just dont want to miss a minute. Your actually lucky they care.

maybe they like to sit and watch at the pictures of the kids when they are away from the kids also you can talk to them or plan a fun day and invite them and told them to bring a camera.

I can see both sides of it. Although since you see them that often, it is a bit odd to want EVERY picture. Maybe she's working on photo albums for them?

I think creating the CD is a good solution. Another thing you could do is to create a folder in your 'My Pictures' that would be thier folder, then you could pick out pictures to share with them, and place it in their 'My Pics' folder. That way you have control over what pics they get without having to search through while they are there.

Well, I don't think it's odd they want photos. I do think it's weird that they want to hook up a flash drive to get pics off of your computer. I wouldn't do that.
In fact, that would annoy me very much.
As far as them "doing things" with the kids. What is their activity level? My IL's are in their 70's, so they aren't as spry as they used to be.

I don't think it is odd. They just want pictures of their grandkids.

All family dynamics are different, but I think it's awesome! Are your in-laws older and not as comfortable and "agile" with today's digital cameras? (And uploading them to their computer, etc.?) Are they not physically able to do more active things with the kids?

Of course, I do not let anyone in my family have ever single picture we take with our camera! I edit out/delete the "bad" shots and make sure anything I give/publish is the best possible shot of the kids. But my family doesn't know this. I actually like having this control better...instead of them snapping terrible pictures of all of us.

I'll bet this has all been suggested, but here's some options:

1) Burn CDs (or upload to a USB) for them on a monthly basis, after you have gone through the photos yourself. (This is what we do.)

2) When you upload your photos to your computer, also upload them to a "photo site" like Shutterfly. Then your inlaws can sign-up for access and see them whenever they want at the website. In fact, they can even order prints for themselves if they want!

3) Post the photos on Facebook and have them sign-up for Facebook. (Yes, I know there are a million concerns about posting kid's photos on Facebook, but you can set your privacy settings at the highest level possible.)

Good luck!

Yes and no, not sure why they don't play with them or take them out. BUT I would let them have the pictures. I have in laws that are really nasty, I wish my problem is they wanted pics of my kids. I am sure this is bugging I just want to tell you to pick your battles. Do you really want to fight over this?

No, I always send pictures of my children in the mail.

My kids see our in-laws 2-3 times a week and my MIL still always asks for pictures, hehe. She finally got her own camera so she snaps pictures of them every time we see them! I think they are just really excited to have them that's all.. I wouldn't worry about it too much, especially if you only see them once a month...

Give them all the pictures they want...and Thank God they want them!! My MIL has no interest in our children, she lives out of state and has seen them three times in five years for a few minutes each time. Only because we traveled to her destination.

My dad well he could take them or leave them (pictures and the kids).

I'm with you, J..

If you see them so frequently, and they want so many pictures, they can take some and share as well.

As parents, it's nice to have pictures of our kids that are sentimental and to share them as we wish. Sometimes, it's nice to provide them as Christmas presents, etc.

My parents take TONS of pictures of our kids when we see them (maybe once/quarter as they live 600 miles away). We've never seen a single 1 as my dad (despite a PhD in Computer Science) can't figure out the simple process of uploading them.

We put pictures onto Facebook and send via e-mail that we want to share. But, I do think they're being a little invasive by wanting all of them and expecting them all the time.

It's just my personal opinion - if I were in your situation, I'd probably be going nuts too.

I apologize if my repsonse is a repeat, but I have two opposite ends of the spectrum. My parents want every pic & my in-laws couldn't care less and don't even acknowledge the ones I mail to them. What I do is upload everything to Walgreens.com and let my parents pick and order whatever they want. Or you can select the ones you want them to have, have the order printed at a Walgreens near their home and they can pay in store when they pick them up.

Start a Shutterfly share site. When you add pictures they can sign up to instantly get notified. You can also put calendars and blogs on there. Then they can order any pictures they want.

Gosh that's a tough situation. Sometimes it's hard to even find the camera at our house! I'm thinking of what I would do in that situation....maybe one day or 2 take tons of pictures...then send them a fraction of them at specific intervals. Like 15 one week then the other 15 the following week etc. But I sympathize with you....sometimes life gets too crazy to even sit down and attach that usb port. I know I'm guilty of it.
Best of luck!

It seems normal to me that they'd want pics of their grandkids. I know my in-laws (out of state) and my mother (out of the country) love seeing photos as they can see their grandchild as he grows. (Skype too!) Perhaps plugging in a USB cord is a bit much, they don't need to have ALL your photos :), but a select number so they have variety is fun for them.
What I do is post albums of my son to Facebook and the grandparents love checking them out there. You could do that if you have FB or perhaps create a shutterfly family webpage. They love commenting ;).
One photo boundary that was crossed IMO was when my in-laws posted photos of my baby's dedication (at 5 weeks old) on their FB accounts and family webpage, before I had a chance to post any pictures. I was a little upset because it was his first major event and it stole my thunder a bit as a first time parent. But in the grand scheme of things it's ok, and I am grateful to have in-laws that adore my son. Having access to photos makes them feel closer to him.

We live 12 hours from both sides of our family, and I was in a similar situation with my MIL. She wanted to see the boys all the time and made me feel so guilty about not sending pictures ALL THE TIME! I just don't have the time for that kind of thing! (She has only visited 2 times in the past 4 years.) My solution was to post the pictures online, and sent out an email to family with a link to the site. That way only the pictures that I wanted them to have were on there and available. They could access it all the time.

For Christmas, Mother's Day, Birthday, etc presents for the grandparents we have been putting together picture books and digital photo frames where we put the pictures into them. We've also done pictures on coffee mugs as gifts. (Walmart.com is fantastic for those kind of things)

Also, my parents get to see my kids all the time via webcam. If you both have computers it might be a nice change of pace for all of you! ((ebay has them for very little money)). That way the grandparents aren't just looking at pictures, but actually get to have a conversation with the kids. Just a thought! Good luck!

Yes, I do think it's a little odd & I can totally relate. The first time my in-laws came to visit after my daughter was born (she was 10 days old) my mother-in-law took 96 pictures of her! Since she's my daughter, of course I think she's adorable, but really, how many different ways can a 10 day old baby pose??!! We do send them pictures pretty regularly (professional & candid) but not every picture we take. At first that still didn't seem like enough for them and every time we saw them it was non-stop with the camera. She used to be like that with us too but is now more interested in her grandchild. It wouldn't be quite so bad if she could at least wait until we took a shower in the morning before she starts up with the camera. She shows these pictures to anybody & everybody so being in your pajamas with bed-head is not want we want her taking pictures of. The kicker is she hates having her picture taken. As my daughter has gotten older she has gotten irritated with the non-stop pictures as well. At first my mother-in-law would lie to my daughter and say she didn't have her camera and then sneak pictures of her anyway. That didn't go over well with my daughter either. My mother-in-law has no clue how to use a computer & doesn't have one herself so we can control what pictures we give her. My in-laws sound exactly like yours. When we are together they don't want to do anything with her, just watch her play. But they want lots of pictures so they can show her off to everyone when they get home. If they had a better relationship overall with her, she may be more inclined to cooperate with the pictures. I have even suggested to my mother-in-law that she ask my daughter if it would be OK to take some pictures, reminding her nicely that she (my mother-in-law) also hates to have her picture taken and gets upset if someone just goes & does it without letting her fix her hair, etc. There are times when my daughter loves to have her picture taken and will even pose but we've tried to remind my mother-in-law that she is a child & will cooperate with the pictures when she wants too, not when she's hungry or it's close to nap time, she has just woken up, etc. Now that a few years have gone by and she realizes we will send her pictures, she has gotten a little better. She does always have the camera, in case my daughter is in the mood, but doesn't follow her around with it anymore. There were a few times when both my parents and my in-laws were here at the same time. I think seeing that my parents were not hounding her with the camera, and that my parents actually interact with her so she seems to have a better relationship with them, has helped too. Good Luck! I know how upset that can make everyone (including your in-laws). Hopefully if you continue to send them pictures on a regular basis they will be satisfied with that and step back a little.

I personally don't see a big problem with the request to download. I love family pictures, and it seems easier to let them do that than to choose some to load on a cd. It does seem odd, but fairly harmless, in my opinion.

you can upload all your digital pictures on picasa thru Google. It is free. Set up a password and give it to your in-laws. They can view and download to their heart's desire. And, if your computer crashes, you will still have all your pictures safe. I learned the hard way and lost a couple thousand pictures when my hard drive crashed. Made me sick!

set up a snapfish account, load all your pics and then create a group room and allow some photos to go over to the group room and they can see and print photos as they wish. then you just have to push a button and they can see them . you can also let other upload and join the room so when they see other albums loaded by the other in laws maybe they will get the hint

it sounds like they love your children. what is harmful about them wanting and having pictures of their grandchildren? especially if they are not requiring you to do anything. they bring the USB and they do it.

Hi J.,
My parents and in-laws want lots of pictures too. We found an easy solution. Walmart hosts free picture sharing. So I created a group "room" there and I upload the photos of my son to the website. I share the link to the "room" with them, then my parents and in-laws can log in and select the pictures they want to print (or all of them). :) They can have them printed at their local walmart or mailed directly to them.
Its easy, and I get to decide which ones they can choose to print from. Of course I put a ton on-line because we take so many pictures! (first child) :) This has been a great solution for us.

good luck!

If it were me, I would be glad that they are so interested in their grandchildren. In my situation, my inlaws had 13 children of their own, and now, there are 14 grandchildren. Our daughter is lucky number 13. My inlaws are not as interested as my parents who only had two children (twins) and now only have 1 grandchild. I would consider you VERY lucky that they care so much.

As a very active grandparent who has been with my Grandboys 3 days a week (7AM-4 or 5PM) for the last 7.5 years, I don't find it odd at all. They will both be in school all day next year...I might have to start bringing my USB when I visit next year! LOL! It may seem like a big thing at this stage in your life, but, really it's not. Be glad they are interested because so many are not.

Somehow lost my previous response. Anyway, I do not think it is odd, but different. Maybe you can change history a little bit and get everybody outdoors. I am not sure how people play quietly indoors anyway. And I am jealous. My mother gave me back some pictures of my babies once (why?) and really has little to do with us (grown children-six with children) and my father died. So each life is different and if you can enjoy them. Sounds like they were probably child centered themselves and do not have alternate activiities. Perhaps as time goes on gear them towards the kids games and music recitals, etc.

I don't think it's at all odd that they want so many pics of your kids. I think it's really cute and shows that they really love them. My family lives in another state, so to share pics I upload my pics to Snapfish.com (After deleting any unflattering pics of me, fuzzy pics, duplicates, goofy faces, etc). I can then email to a large group of people at the same time. They get a link sent to their email and can not only view pics, but also buy items with the pics on it. Over the years my mother has made a few coffee mugs with pics of my kids and my nephew on it, I've made a family pics calendar for all the grandparents, and a few days ago we received a really great plate with a pic of my hubby and I together for our anniversary (from my fairly computer illiterate in-laws).

You can also ask them to get Facebook and post pics there for them to see (if you're comfortable with that--I post pics of my kids but only allow friends to see them.) My in-laws got FB, but my mom is anti-FB so we send everything to her on Snapfish.

My mom always brings her camera with and takes some great shots, but my in-laws don't even own a camera and prefer to bask in the glory of the moment when they are with their grandkids, and then to ask for pics later.

I don't think this is odd, I think it is funny and really sweet that they want to capture every moment of their grandchildrens lives.

I would imagine it can be a little overwhelming and frustrating to get every photo to them. Let them bring their usb so it is up to them.

Not every grandparent is up for doing "fun" things. Or at least not your kind of fun. My grandma and grandpa thought it was awesome that we got to go to their house, have a worther's and play UNO. Looking back it was fun and I have GREAT memories of their house.

Don't be so h*** o* them. They ovbiously love your children.

My grandmother forbid me to send any pictures because they take up too much room! But you go to her house, an there's pictures everywhere, and I mean everywhere of her family. I wish she asked for at least one.

buy them a point and shoot for Christmas =]

HI
I am not sure why you are concerned about them having pictures of your kids. If they are not doing anything wrong with htem, why not share. Everything is digital so it doesn't cost you anything. I personally am happy when my family wants to be involved.

Maybe this is just hiding a deeper problem? At the end of your note you sounded like you really wanted to have your in laws do more with your kids. Why not set it up and send them, see what happens.

Happy Day
J.

Walmart.com has a free photo service. You can upload your pics in an album and send them a link, then they can order as many copies of whatever pics they want, along with picture mugs, t-shirts and whatever then pick it all up at their local walmart. This might be better because then you can pick out the best pics and send them. Ask your husband to unite with you in telling them that there just aren't any more good pics available. I don't post all of the pictures we take because sometimes they're not so good. Like at the amusement park, one of our pics has some huge slob smoking in the immediate background. I'm not going to send that pic to everyone, but I still want to keep it because it's a good pic of the kids and maybe I'll get around to cropping it someday. You should have the choice about what pics you distribute.

I can definitely see how it would be annoying for them to insist on downloading every single photo you have, rather than look at them and ask for perhaps, a few of the better ones. It is possible they just want all of them so that they can sort through them later and keep the ones they like best. Putting the best ones on CD for them ahead of time is a good idea, you can say it's to "save them time." Or maybe make specific "grandparents" folders of photos that they can download - they don't have to know that's not actually ALL of the photos from your vacation :). And another good idea is to give them a digital camera of their own (if they don't already have one).

I agree with some others - it's better to have grandparents who are overly interested in your kids than ones that aren't. My MIL shows very little interest in our son, her first (and for a while, her only) grandchild. She lives 20 minutes away and we see her less often than my parents, who live three hours away. And they want more pictures of him than she does (she has asked for none, but we give them to her anyway), and he's their 22nd grandchild (along with nine great-grandchildren). When she sees him she "acts" like she's a doting grandma but when he's out of sight, out of mind. She has even given framed pictures we had taken after we got married back to us. She has also given all the childhood pictures of my husband to us as well.

So yes, it is a little odd that they want every photo, but it's heartwarming that they love your family so much they want to see every little thing that goes on in your lives. If they only get to see your family once a month, I can see how that would happen. Enjoy them :)