Thinking of Having a 3Rd Child

I had three children under the age of 5. I definitly felt a huge transition from 2 to 3 children. Things were harder but we learned to deal with it. Mow that my kids are older 8,6 and 3 things are getting easier. They all play nicely together and I would not trade it in for teh world!!

If you are thinking about three, it is harder but definitly doable!

Good luck

I have 3 girls very close in age, 18 months then 20 months. I would spead the last 2 out longer if I could go back. My middle daughter is on the autism spectrum and it was very hard when they were younger. Now they are 7, 5 and almost 4 and things are much easier. I am considering adopting a little boy, trust me give spase between the kids if you can its much easier.

I have three girls, 15, 13 & 10. When they were 5, 3 & 0 it was really fun. The older two were great with the baby...and were more than willing to help around the house picking up their toys etc. Wish I could say the same now...LOL!! To be honest I think a 2 or 3 yr gap is just about perfact. Both my older two were out of diapers & pull-ups when I had our last one (I was 33 at the time). Now that they are teens the 5 yrs between #1 & #3 is actually more noticeable. The baby wants to do EVERYTHING that the older two do (and always has) from listening to the same music, dressing the same etc. But we work really hard and keeping it under control. I guess because they are all girls it is a bit harder...LOL. But really it is a big adjustment to three, it was a lot harder than just two, but worth every minute of it all. Good luck & Best wishes.

I am looking forward to your responses. Don't necessarily have advice now to give, but will in a month's time. I have a recently turned 3 year old and recently turned 1 year old and am expecting my third in March. This one was a surprise! I know it will be a difficult at first but all I keep hearing from people is how much better it will get after the first couple of years. They will be the best of buds and entertain one another. The first two are already the best of buds. I promise to get back to you after my third is born. :)

S.
Stay at home mom

Hello.... My transition from 2 to 3 was great. There were no jealousy issues, the boys just loved their baby brother from the begiing. I remember it being more challenging once he learned to walk etc. But that first year was great and the transition was not difficult. They are now 9,8 and 6 and really good friends. I'm happy we had them close in age because they havae similar interests, toys etc. Good luck with your decision.

I don't think anyone could tell you honestly that it is going to be easy- but it sure is worth it. We have 3 children, the 4th to join around the end of June. My oldest was 3 in October, 2nd was 2 in October, and 3rd was 1 in November. It is exhausting, but totally worth it. When you see your children interacting with each other, playing together, laughing together, it makes all the sibling bickering worth it (yes, even at this age they fight- mostly over toy stealing). I think the transition from 2 to 3 was a little easier than the transition from 1 to 2, probably because you have a little more experience juggling more tasks for more than one child at a time. Plus, as the kids get older they can help out a lot more- getting diapers for you, etc. I say as long as you are both ready and willing- go for it.

I have three beautiful boys, 4.5 year old, 2.5 year old, and 15 month old. YES, you can have multiples close together. Personally, the third child was a MUCH easier transition than two. As a mom, when you have two, you have to learn to juggle more than one child. This takes talent...but now you have it. The third is work, but much easier. As for my husband...he had a little more difficulty with three. He had to learn to juggle more than one. When he was home with two, it was one-on-one, but with three, its two-on-three. But he developed the skill and is loving fatherhood of three. Yes, children are work, especially little ones, but they are the most gratifying work a person can do. Remember too, that you will have 9 months to adjust your family once conceived. That is a huge amount of maturity and growth for your 9 mo old. There are apparent advantages and disadvantages to the spacing of children. But, since our kids are so close, any family activity we do pertains to all three. Our baby is in love with his older brothers and admires them greatly. Good Luck with your decision. P.S. Three was so fun that we are now expecting number 4.

We have a 4 year old, a 2 year old (who will be 3 in about 3 weeks) and a 4 month old about to be 5 months on the first.
It can be done, I have a few friends with three children under 5 and some of those have a child over 5 as well. If you want more children, go for it. Having children is never easy, and planning it out to be just so usually backfires if not immediately, then later on - I stay at home with all three kids - one goes to school 2 days a week. It's nice to get that break, and I often wish I had a better network in the area so I could get more breaks without having to pay for them....(we aren't native to Pittsburgh, my family is in KS, my husbands is in Harrisburg). I will say it is TOTALLY worth it. I'm 37 - soon to be 38 and my husband says 3 is a good number - I say I'd love to welcome a 4th. If you and your husband want another child, go for it... it's not impossible and it is so much more than simply worth it. the love a new baby brings to ones home staggers the mind... at least mine!

Dear M.,

Your concerns are well founded. You say due to the age of yourself and husband waiting is not an option. I was thirty-seven , and thirty eight when I gave birth to my babies... however take a look about you and take in all you are responsible for on a daily basis...24/7..triple time on holidays, and you have yet to reach school age. Smotherhood, as I prefer to call it is a wonderful, fullfilling thankless task. When we decide to become stay at home Moms as I chose for the past eighteen years you decide to do it right or not at all. I put everything into it..they are my heart and soul. My babies are now teenagers so this mom is not needed as used to be...my children are ten months and three weeks apart. they were both preemies , and have thrived indeed. I adore them, yet I struggled...the babies were easy, it was their dad that threw me for a loop. His attitude changed not for the better which became overwhelming until the very day I left him after fourteen years...The dynamics change. No one knows what the future holds, and if I had a nickel for all whom have said "he is wonderful that will never happen to us" I would be sailing on the Mediterranean Sea instead of waiting for the laundry to be transferred to the dryer. I wish you well whatever you decide,and I do not wish to frighten you..just be aware of the way life can change on a dime. Be well and take care of yourself and each other always.

Go for it! I had four children in six years and what a blessing they all are. Yes, it was a challenge at times, but I think children are at any age. The blessings far outweight the challenges though. The more children you have, the more entertainment and help they are for the younger ones. Definitely do it...and enjoy!

I had my third 8 months ago. My first 2 are 17 months apart and then the next gap is 27 months. Just like the second time around, there were some crazy times when everyone needs things, but overall it's great. My third is as mellow as can be. She's thrilled to watch the activity as the bigger ones run around her and get into trouble. She was a little clingy early on, but you work with it and figure out tricks that work. Mine loved the sling, so I would tuck her in there and was hands-free to get things done or play with the bigger kids. I love them being so close together. The bigger ones love to play together and now the baby is getting in on things too. It's crazy, but lots of fun. You just have to keep your sense of humor...

I gave birth to our third child about 6 months ago. We now have 3 under 3 years of age. Our first two, a boy and a girl, are twins. The first 6 weeks were not easy, but now that we have a routine down, it is better. It is not easy, and some days are better than other, but if you want another child, it is well worth it. We have gotten our older children involved in the care of the baby and helping with little things around the house, which is great.

Well, do you thoroughly enjoy being the mother of two? If so you'll probably enjoy being the mother of three. Do you feel physically and emotionally recovered enough? That has always been my concern as to when to have the next. You can't take care of three if you are severly depressed or experiencing physical ailments.
Is your husband supportive in your mothering? Can you deal with being tired all the time?
I personally love being a mum of lots of kids. Do I feel like pulling my hair out sometimes? Yes! Am I a perfect mum who never yells or gets mad? No! But I love my kids and I work everday at being better and forgiving my self for my shortcomings.
You'll probably get sick of changing diapers I imagine but I always try to keep perpestive that changing a diaper, feeding a baby, rocking them to sleep are all ways I show my love for them. That way those daily frequent tasks don't become drudgery!
Motherhood is the best kind of art I know and despite my challenges, which are many I might add, I love raising my children and this is my career!

Personally, if I had to do it over, I'd wait. The first 9 months after adding baby #3 wasn't a big deal, but once he became mobile and started to voice his opinion, there's been a lot of fighting and jealousy issues between #2 and #3. At the beginning, both of my girls were all "ooohs" and "aaaaahs" for the baby, but his novelty has worn off I guess! Just my opinion and my particular kids - yours could be much different! My kids' ages are 5, 3, and 1.

Good luck whatever you decide,
K.

My advice is you won't regret it! I found it easier also to go from 2 to 3. I also found that I became more relaxed with the third. (of course as with 2 or with 3, you will have times you feel exhausted, but we deal with it don't we :o)) We are contemplating going from 3 to 4 now! My issue is work and child care (because I work full time). I never had to put any of my kids into daycare...not that there is anything wrong with that...but I've almost made it juggling all of our schedules to having my last little one into school! (This year was the first year that I had to hire a stay at home mom about 10hrs/week to watch him).

Anyways, go for it.... Once that third one is here, you won't know how you lived without 'em and quite possibly, you might regret it down the road if you decided not to have a third!

Babies are a precious gift from God!

37 y.o. mom of 3 boys 11, 9, and 4. Work full time in healthcare and also have home business through southern living at home on the side. Married 13+ years to my best friend.

I have 4 children...a couple of them are close in age and one was a bit of a surprise and there are a few years between him and the other kids. But I have to say...they really entertain eachother. I wonder what it would be like to be an only child after watching how my kids really play together. Even when they are teenagers. They still never lose the bond. My oldest is 14 and my youngest is 2 and you would not imagine that they would have anything in common but they love to be together and he is even teaching the baby how to play video games! Probably not the best parental advice but he loves to feel 'included' in whatever the older kids are doing. It is a lot of work, especially if they all become sick or take turns with a cold, but the good outways the bad. I am fortunate that all of my kids are well behaved and for the most part pull their weight around the house. You will always have days where you ask yourself "What was I thinking"? But having a fairly large family comes with so many rewards and so much love to share. You will never find yourself saying "I'm bored"! I can't even remember what that feels like. Best of luck with your decision but I think if you can afford them and you have enough love to share, you can't go wrong. By the way, I had my 2 year old when I was 38. I was concerned that I would not have the energy to keep up with him. I think he has kept me young physically and mentally. I am in better health now than when I was 30! I also feel like I am a better mom because I learned from some of my earlier mistakes. I am much more relaxed and let the little things go that use to drive me crazy. Vee from PA

I definitely found it really hard to go from 2 to 3 children. There are 2 years between my first 2, and then another 3 years until my 3rd. Of course it's all worth it, but juggling all the different ages is not easy. I find that my 2 year old spends so much time in the car taking the older 2 to their activities, or even just picking them up from school. I feel bad for her. There are a lot of positives, and my children play very nicely together...but there's no getting around it: It's a ton of work! When you have 2 children they can play with each other, or you and your husband can each take one, but with 3 children you NEVER get a break. There is always someone that needs mommy from dirty diapers, to tying shoes, to homework...and I can't really see it getting any easier. If your heart tells you that 3 is the right number for you, then it's worth the hard work, and I believe that's all that matters.

I have three. Ages 6, 3 (almost 4) and 2 1/2. The first 2 are 2 1/2 yrs apart. The next two are 16 months apart. I didn't feel it was hard to add another at all. My problem was that my middle child was still not a super steady walker (fell alot) and having to hold his hand and carry the baby in her seat was hard. Otherwise, no biggie. It really doesn't matter what other people tell you- it depends on you and your hubby. I read the others responses and some of them seemed to think a 3rd child was a big deal or being close in age was. Really, it just depends on how well you deal with it. The only thing I would have changed was to put my first 2 closer in age.....backwards huh? Anyway, good luck.

Hi M.,

I'm one of those parents that went from 2 children to 3 very quickly. Let me tell you, you'll definitely have your hands full for a while!
Since your spouse is for having a third child, Im sure he'll be very supportive. That in itself is very important. Since you are a stay at home mom ,it might be very easy for your husband to think you dont need a break. Please be sure to take a few days out of the week just for you- alone!!
Having children so close, I've heard, does not provide enough lap time for each child. Now that my children are a little older, I realize how true that can be. I look back when they were younger,and can agree that I could not give enough of myself to one child. No matter how hard I tried there was always one fighting for that individual attention from me.
I stayed at home for the first 4 years while my husband worked. It was exhausting for both of us.
I do admit, the hardest times for me was the toddler stage.They were quite busy. Although, the wonderful thing about having children so close, is just that- the closeness. My children are now 13, 14 and 15. They have done, and still do so much together. They all look out for each other and the most important thing is, they share so much together, while still maintaining their own individuality. I have to admit though,Some times having three is convenient. When one is gone there is always two left to keep each other company.
M., if you and your spouse are willing to have the third child together, go for it!! Much luck to both of you!

T.

I just had my third 3 mths ago I have a 5 almost 6 yr old and a 3 yr old. I think going from one to two was harder then going from two to three, Your children are a little younger so it might be harder but, Im so happy i did it.

If you are going to do that, I hope you have alot of help, so you can get a break too. My best friend moved out of state with her b/f and they had their third child. Now she gets no sleep. He doesn't help her much at all. She plans on moving back home.
Just make sure that you are going to get help. It's alot of work having 3 little ones running around. You also need to have them on the same schedules though, that is one of my friends worst problems. They all want to sleep at different times.