Starting 5 Year Old in Kinder Now or Waiting Until Next Year?

Have you considered homeschooling him? He would get one on one attention from you and can learn at his own pace.

The BEST thing you can do for a boy is to give them more time -- BOTH of my boys have late birthday (July and May) and I am giving each of them one more year so that they'll have one more year to learn and grow and be ready for school... one was ready educationally -- but not socially.... my other one is 3..and he will start school at 5 (private) and they have an inbetween program that is more than K and less than first that I will put him in... THEN he will go to first grade... being the oldest in his class and having one more year to prepare... boys are typically late bloomers (some say it's an old wives tale but EVERYONE I know with boys has said that) and so I wanted to give him EVERY advantage...

I would absolutely take him out now and wait until next year - find a pre-k program somewhere to keep him focused on learning. We did this with my youngest when he was in first grade (he had no problems at all with kindergarten, but first grade was a social nightmare for him - going from private K to public school). He was born Aug 30th and that additional year made a world of difference. You don't want him to start out struggling, as it will only get harder and it will be tremendously worse on his self esteem to have to hold him back once he's really into elementary school or worse yet middle school. Trust your instincts. The teacher just doesn't want to tell you that he's not ready (it's her job to handle all situations), but it's not best for your son to have to struggle in kindergarten.
I have yet to find a mother that says she regrets holding her child back, but I find meet many that wish they had.

Absolutely no body knows your son better than you. As others have said, trust your gut. And it is 100% true that typically boys take longer to mature than girls. I know of several 4 year old girls who are totally ready for K right now, but have to wait because of their age, yet I know 6 year old boys who may still have issues adjusting! (Not to insult boys at all, I have one! And my 6 y.o. nephew is breezing through 1st grade at the top of his class.) My point is, you obviously feel uncomfortable with the current situation so you need to talk to the administrators and see what your options are for pulling him out and getting him back into a PreK program. Someone else mentioned the possibility of being considered "truant," however I think there is a grace period in some school districts for this exact type of situation. Education is important, but it is just as important to not push too early. What a great parent you are for being so concerned about doing the right thing!

My daughter is 4 1/2 and started an all day pre-k program in our school district. My parents expressed concern over her starting so young. She dose have homework almost every night, and thought its simple stuff, its still a struggle. When she dosnt have homework we work with flash cards on numbers and letters, colors, shapes. You can get them at Walmart for 2.00 each. Also see Learningpage.com its free to join and you can print out the type of handwriing pages you mentioned and work with him at home, same with numbers. I did this with my daughter and she picked things up so good, cuz she is working on them at school and some time at home. You know your son better than anyone elese could, I would try some stuff at home. Talk with his teacher at the end of 6 weeks and get a report from her, talk with the school councler and ask where he is at compared to others. You may be surpised to see there are other kids in the same boat. You may way to talk to his Pedi about learning disablilty like Dyslexia, ADD, ADHD and Disgraphia (i know that isnt spelled right). 9 out of 10 kids who have a learning diffrence (i dont like the word disability) are boys. I was the 1 that was a girl. I struggled with Dyslexia for many years. You can also contact Texas Scottish Rite Hospital they have a Dyslexia unit that test and identfies all types of learning diffrences. I couldnt read or write correctly until i spent two years at there dyslexia unit. Now you would never know. Good luck!

All I can say is trust your instincts. I wish I had followed mine with my first son (different issue), it would had made a huge difference with him!!

If you decide to wait a little longer, start looking for a private kindergarten in the meantime to make sure you have someplace to put him when you are ready.

Keep in mind that once they are in public kindergarten you must keep them in some sort of school or they will be considered truent (sp?). You may want to talk to the administrators about this and see if you have to place him in another kindergarten program or if preschool qualifies.

Good luck to you!!

I am no expert, but my mother has been a teacher for over 20 years. She thinks that kids born in late summer esp. boys should be held back. My son is only 1 and his birthday is Aug 30. When I was on my way to the hospital my mom called and said that I was to hold him back until he was 6 before kindergarten. It really means that much to her. She says you can see it all the way through school which kids were started earlier. The one's that are held back adjust better, are more mature, make better decisions later and over all do much better. If you do it while they are young they don't know they are being held back a year and they adjust much better. When they get older and struggle it can have worse effects on them, esp. after they have made friends and don't understand why they are not moving on. This is just my opinion, from my mother, but it is a very strong one on her part. HOpe this helps!!

Boys develop slower and at their own pace. Requiring a 5 y/o boy at the age of 5 to write in a specific way worries me a little bit due to the lack of fine motor skill development. Gross motor activites like running, jumping, climbing, pushing and pulling will help him develop those fine motor skills like writing in the future. The behavior issues you are experiencing may be related because he may not be getting the level of activity and sensory stimulation that he needs to be able to control his body. The pre-school setting was probably more activity vs. sitting at a desk which suited him better at this time. I would either look into a different Kindergarten that is more active--maybe a Montessori, return him to an active pre-school or pull him out and join a home school group so you can observe what he needs first hand. The scholastic portion of his education will come so much easier for him if he is ready physically. In my previous (pre-kid) life I was a physical therapist so I have a passion for this! He has his whole life in front of him to learn to sit still--don't force it now.

Having a 4, almost 5 year old (my son will be 5 Oct 8), I feel he would not be ready for kindergarten this year. Im glad he has a whole other year to prepare in pre-k before starting. My birthday is Oct 9, and I started school in September when I was in Kindergarten and turned 6 the next month. I was a very good student, A's & B's all through school, so being one of the older kids in the class, I think I was at an advantage. However, everyone's situation is different. My opinion is he is probably just trying to adjust to the environment, as its alot different than preschool or daycare. Some kids adjust better than others. My son is very outgoing and active, so I think in some ways he might be the same way. I would give him a little more time to adjust if it were my son. Maybe you could speak to the teacher further and see if he could get more one on one time with her or someone at the school. Most good teachers are willing to go that extra mile.

This isn't the most important thing to consider in making your decision, but one of the reasons I am starting my son when he is 6 (he has a late Aug. b-day), is because when I was a kid, everyone in my grades were older than me. All my friends got to drive way before I did. I sometimes felt left out because of my age. I agree with the people who say boys should start when they are 6 if they have late birthdays. My mom is a kindergarten teacher and that is what she has always said. How he feels about school now will affect his attitude the rest of the time he is in school.

I had the same situation with my daughter, she turned 12 on July 30, and she is now in 7th grade. She hasn't had any problems in school, it's just that her classmates are 13 about to be 14 and that bothers me becuz the maturity levels are so different. Other than that, I haven't had any regrets! But now I wish I would have waited until she was 6 to start her in school.

Good Luck! B.

Another mom had a similar situation back in June... my response to her was as follows (I think it applies to your situation as well).

I am originally from New York, where there are different rules for ages for Kindergarten. My son's b-day is 9/20, and he started Kindergarten at the beginning of September (right before he turned five). It was the worst mistake I could have ever made. He was not emotionally ready at all, and his time in that school was a nightmare. He was struggling and acting out almost every day. We ended up moving to Texas in December (3 months after his 5th b-day) and I decided to let him "start over" here in TX. The difference between his Kindergarten experience in NY and TX was like night and day. My son was 6, and there were a lot of others in his class just like him. Don't worry about your daughter, you know her better than anyone. Trust your gut. If you didn't think she was "ready", she wasn't.

Good luck to you & your son.

B.