Sleep in His Own Bed....

Updated on August 21, 2007
M.P. asks from Greenwood, MO
4 answers

Hello all, I have a son who just turned 5 and we can't seem to get him out of out bed. He slept in his own bed until baby brother was born (which we had him in our bedroom for two months)and the older brother didn't understand why he couldn't be in our bedroom too. Unfortunatly he joined us (on the floor) and now he is in our bed...the baby is now in his own room but, the 5 year old won't go back to his own room/bed! Can anyone help us with this issue???? Thanks

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So What Happened?

Hello again, Thank-You all for all your help and suggestions!!! We are doin' okay:} My husband & I took turns last week sleepin' with our son (5yrs old) in HIS bed...each night that he slept in HIS bed he got to put a sticker on his "MY BED" chart. After 5 nights in a row, we promised him one prize of his choice (within reason). He is really workin' on it! Next week we will leave once he falls asleep & see if he will stay in his bed and also move the goal to 10 nights in a row...(after he makes his 5 night goal). Hopefully this will work?!?!? Thanks again...I'll keep ya posted:) :) :) :)

More Answers



answers from Springfield on

Have you tried rewards? Going to the store and picking out some new bedding might be helpful. You could tell him he can only use his new blanket if he sleeps in his own bed.

You might also want to take small steps by getting him to sleep on your floor and then move him towards his own bed. You could also sleep on his floor for one night.

We got our older son to sleep in his own bedroom because that was the big boy thing to do. He is now 3 1/2 and if I ask him if he wants to sleep with me he just laughs at me. (in a sweet way)

I have read that kids go through times when they like to sleep with their parents and times when they like to be on their own. In fact, I think 5 years of age is a common time for kids to want to be closer to their parents. Keep that in mind as you work with him. You don't want to push him away if he is trying to reach out to you for love and comfort. You should try to ease him into his own bed while also finding other ways to bond with him during the day. Good luck.



answers from Kansas City on

Hi M.,
Well Jennifer b.'s advice will work although I think it will take you longer than a week. I'm assuming that with your son already having a room and his bed that he has "the big boy stuff" that being said. Here is one other option pretty much like Jennifers advice still read the book, do your regular bedtime routine. So after you read the book shut off the lights and let him know that it is time to go to bed and go to sleep. Lay him down in bed and either turn your back to him or turn around but keep you head down and make no eye contact with him, if he gets out of bed put him back in and tell him bedtime. Continue doing this and eventually he will fall asleep, you might also. So have you husband check on you in 15 minutes once it gets quit. As you keep going through start limiting the time you stay in there. Your goal at first should be just to keep him in his bed to fall asleep, the next goal would be for him to sleep majority of the night in his bed if not all. I have a 3 y/o and she still comes to our bed sometimes. Once you get these things accomplished than work on getting out of there, start with you will stay in there until he falls alseep then shorten it 5 or 10 minutes, keep going until you get it to where you just lay him down read his book, kiss and a hug, tuck him in and say goodnight see you in the morning. Also one other thing I would do is mark on the calender a week from now, tell him on this day you are gonna start sleeping in your bed, keep reminding him, you have 4 days left until you're sleeping in your bed, make it a positive thing and not a negitive. Then the day of let him know at bedtime we are gonna go lay down in your bed and read out book and go to sleep.

I know this may seem like it will take forever but sometimes slower is faster. He also might surprise you and after a few nights of getting in there he will take right to it, with some convincing of course. W.



answers from Kansas City on

The best (but undoubtedly difficult) way to transition your son sleep in his own bed is simply "cold turkey". When it is bed time, put him in his bed and read him a story. It is then lights out. The first time he gets up, you tell him goodnight and that it is time to go to bed. Then simply put him back in bed. The second time, you tell him it is bed time and put him in bed. The third time and each time after, you simply put him in bed without speaking to him. He will eventually fall asleep. Stick to it...and it should only take a night or two before he is simply sleeping in his own bed.



answers from Kansas City on

My son is 5 and he just recently got into his own bed! My husband worked nights when he was born and so I had him with me. When my husband switched shifts and was able to help me transition our son into his room he still had trouble. I tried a few things but I think the most is just patience and repetitiveness. I first tried the dr. ferber method(there are resources on the internet or at the library-this is honestly what you want to do last if nothing else works), then we redid his room, and then purchased a new bed that he got to pick out. We also rewarded him but the best thing that he enjoyed was we told him why he needed to sleep in his own room(how he is a BIG BOY now and that mommy and daddy loves him very much but it is too difficult for all of us to fit into our bed. We said if you can stay in your bed and sleep all night for a week we will throw you a Growing Up Party) and he followed through and got his PARTY! We didn't go all out on the party, just fixed his favorite meals and dessert, blew some balloons. He still asks once in awhile but I just say No, we had your party and your a big boy now, you don't want us to start calling you a baby do you?

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