Seeking Help with My Almost 4Yo Son Sleeping!

You might try giving him a big boy bed, since he says he doesn't like his bed anymore. Try letting him pick out the new sheets & make it a ton of fun for him. I have a 4 year old daughter, I moved her from her crib at 18 months into a twin bed, then at 3 1/2 she got a double bed. Each time I moved her, I talked it up a lot and made it all hers. She likes her room and sleeps very well.

Another consideration would be to skip the afternoon nap.

I like Jennifer's suggestions. I had forgotten that we had put stuffed animals on guard duty.

It sounds like your son may be a little uneasy, maybe afraid. What has worked for me (and still does now with my pre-teen and teenagers when they're sick) is to tell them you'll be back to check on them. This allows the child to relax knowing that mom will be coming back and they'll be safe. When I check on them, I assure them that they are fine and let them know I'll check on them again. The second time, they're usually asleep! Kids worry (as do teens about whether their illness is serious or not) and knowing they'll be checked on takes away the worry. You just have to come back when you say you will or they'll worry more!

To make sure you get your sleep, tell your son you'll check on him and do so a couple of time before you go to bed. The next day, let him know you checked on him and tell him he was asleep and safe. It's important that he knows you were there even if he wasn't awake.

He is around the age that most kids start outgrowing naps. My now five year old will either stay awake for hours or get very interupted sleep when she had naps at four. We stopped giving her naps and she started sleeping better. I don't know if your daycare will do that though. I know by law, they are required at least an hour of rest time each day. Maybe after the other kids go down, the teacher can give him a book or two to look at on his cot?
It could be a phase also. My four year old went through a phase of coming into our room in the night and not wanting to go back to bed. It got frustrating and we gave her the rule that she is only allowed up if she sees sun outside. Good luck, each kid is different and has a different reason for doing this but I think all of them do it at some point.

S.,

Our four year old goes though phases like this as well. My advice is don't skip the naps on the weekend. Our daughter also doesn't like to nap on Saturday or Sunday either. So, we changed to calling it a rest or quiet time and use a timer. If she is still awake after the timer goes off she is allowed to get up as long as she has stayed in her bed and been quiet. Usually she falls asleep long before the timer goes off. If we are really busy and nap time is shifted to far into the afternoon she is given the choice of a rest or an early bed time. This works for us and helps keep the getting up at night to a minimum during the rest of the week.

Our solution for a night light was a green rope light from christmas put under her bed. It solved her monsters under the bed problem. As for nightmares her stuffed dinosaurs have guard duty while mommy and daddy are asleep. She got the idea from her older cousin, who places 2 dinosaurs in the door way of his room to scare away the bad dreams. We asked our daughter how we could help her sleep better in her room and these were some of her suggestions. So, ask your son and see if he can't help you understand why he feels better in your bed.

Good Luck,

J. N.

I don't have experience firsthand, but my sister just recently switched out her toddler bed for a twin bed. She said her daughter slept almost and extra hour every day, because she was more comfortable. It sounds like maybe your son could use a "real bed." Those crib mattresses aren't very comfortable. Just a thought.

I think it may be time for a "big boy" bed. Sounds like to me that he's simply out grown his crib mattress and has figured out that mom's and dad's bed is way better. Let him help with picking out the bed, mattress and bedding. My girls loved helping and it made the bed more theirs when then had choices in what to get.

And I agree with others that it may be time to cut out the naps. Both my girls took naps (and needed them) longer than other kids, but they did the same thing at night when they started to out grow them. If you cut out the naps then you may need to start putting him to bed a little earlier. And our daycare stopped with the naps a few months before the kids went to kindergarten.

Good luck!!

I went through this with both of my boys. I would have to say it is a phase just give it time he will grow out of it. Just dont give in the moment you do it will be that much harder for you.Continue to put him back in his bed.You will not hurt him in any way by doing so.He is at that age where nap time should not be mandatory but he should have quite time for about a hour or tirty minutes.

My 3 year old is going through the get out of bed every 10 minutes phase too. She stopped taking naps at a little past 2 years old. You just have to make sure there is nothing they are going to need so there is no excuse to get out of bed, and put your foot down and let him know getting out of bed after being laid down is not ok. Definetly DO NOT put him in your bed! I have a friend that did that and is still paying for it and her child is 5. Good luck, he is just testing his boundaries! I hope this helps.

I don't know if I really have any great advice for you, but wanted to let you know that I went through the same kind of thing with my son right after he turned four, as did another friend of mine... so you're not alone.

My son said the same things like he had bad dreams...and then it "turned into monsters under the bed". He was so terrified that we couldn't even put him in his bed for awhile, as he would scream, cry and run out of his room. It was a long several months for us. I hope that your son's isn't as long.

But, several things we tried...were we talked about his "dreams" and also got different books to read from our school counselor. I didn't know where to turn after several months. This helped a bit. But, I also spent many nights sleeping by his bed until he fell asleep.

Do you have a dog? I know this will sound strange, but...My son was also in a toddler bed that sat low to the ground and we realized that our dog would come in every once in awhile and give him "kisses". Well, she is black and when it's dark you can't really see her. We think this might have been his "monster that was eating him." I know sounds funny now, but wasn't when we were going through it. :)

Then, we decided he really had outgrown his toddler bed (he didn't want to give up the race car bed) and bought him a bigger one. Surprisingly this helped him almost immediately. It's the kind that is kind of like the bunk beds and shaped like a "T", so it was almost like he was in his own little "tent". So, I don't know if it was the excitement we made of the new bed, timing or the fact that our dog could no longer reach him to give kisses. But, it worked.

Good luck on dealing with this, I know how hard it can be on all involved.

I would guess he might be uncomfortable in the toddler bed... it is awfully small for a four year old and those mattresses are not very comfortable. He may not be getting sound sleep because he doesn't have enough room to get comfy.
I don't know because I moved both my kids directly from a crib to a regular twin bed.
Maybe he needs a regular big boy bed!

Sounds like he needs to cut out his nap. He is getting too much sleep and that makes him wake at night. Sure he will nap fine, but he will sleep better at night with no nap. There will be an adjustment period, and he may still wake out of habit for a little bit, but it will fade. Just keep taking him back to bed and don't let him stay with you or it will be that much harder.

My son is also 4yo and is having a simular problem. I asked his pediatrition about it today at his check up. She suggested allowing him to come into our room but making him sleep on a blanket on the floor beside our bed. "Don't let him make you uncomfortable or have you miss sleep." The idea is that he will preferr his bed to the floor and will stop wanting to get in bed with you. She also explained that at that age the sleep cycle is about 3 hours long, so if he goes to bed at 8 wake him up to "check on him" around 10:30 or 11:00 and the sleep cycle will start over. We are going to try it tonight. What ever you do "Good Luck!"

Wow. You've gotten a lot of good advice here, so I won't repeat any of it, just offer one more little trick.
Try hanging a "dreamcatcher" over his bed. Explain the legend of how it allows the good dreams to come through, but catches the bad dreams and then they "burn up" with the morning sun.
Worked for my grandaughter. :o)

Pick any or all of the advice you've been blessed with here to try, it's all great, but the key, no matter which you choose, is consistancy. Keep at it a while before you decide that what ever you are doing isn't working.

Also, a quick check-up by the pediatrician wouldn't hurt. Just to rule out any underlying troubles.
My daughter used to get ear infections that had no symptoms other than sleepless nights and an occasional complaint of chest pain, believe it or not. Wierd !
My son had some trouble sleeping when he was about 4, and because we lived in the country at the time the doctor suspected pinworms of all things ! I hadn't heard of that since I was a kid. Anyway, he said it can be common in country kids and treated him for it just in case. He went right back to sleeping soundly.
Ya learn SO many odd things raising kids !!

I wish you well. :o)