Seeking Help with 4 Year Old Fears

How long has this been going on? If it's less than a week or two, I would try to make light of it.... Easier said than done, right? Many things seem to go away if a parent doesn't buy into the fear too much. I would try and redirect her attention into a positive light. For example, if the fear is fire, tell her that we have a plan for that - enough said - and she will be safe. If the fear is the noise (which it was for my daughters), tell her it's just to get your attention....Tell her that you can leave a flash light in her room if she needs it. Kids' imaginations run wild at this age and some kids (I believe) are given too much info. We all want our kids to be safe, but some children can't even differentiate a Disney movie from reality. Bits and pieces of info are fine when its age appropriate. If I were you, I would back off on ANY fire talk and bring her to a beach, the pool, a hike. At home, have fun stuff like bubbles or playdough or even t.v. to jog those thoughts away from the dark side. Good luck. I feel for you!

Can she help with the monthly smoke detector checks, by looking at it, cleaning it, testing it, maybe with some nice ear protection it will desensitize her to these alarms a bit?

I agree with Wendy. A fire plan is a good idea. Most fears, whether it be kids or adults is fear of the unknown. If you don't know what is coming, you don't know how to handle it.

I would do a fire drill once a week for awhile, then once a month. She will be doing this at school anyway, so reinforcing it at home should be helpful.

Have you guys made a plan if there is a fire? If she knew what to do that might make her feel better. Maybe some actual practice too.

My daughter at age 7 experienced the same fear after a school fair where they were taught about drop-roll-crawl and were helped out of a smoke-filled Winnebago by a fireman in full gear so they would not fear him if the real situation ever presents itself since they do look alien in their bulky gear through the smoke. We ended up buying another fire extinguisher and putting it in her room. We contemplated buying one of those rope ladders you can hook over a window sill. We did discuss an escape plan to meet by the mailbox if anything ever happened, and did one practice run. She needed to sleep with the door open and someone upstairs for a few weeks and then the memory faded. My younger daughter fears a home intrusion but we have not figured out what to put in her room, perhaps a window alarm. I was fearful at night when my husband (who rarely travels) was gone for a 2 week trip. A cell phone next to the bed stilled my fears! Hope it is just a phase and easy sleep returns soon. Cato