Screaming 5 Year Olds

I guess I'm different, I wouldn't let my kid scream & shriek with wild abandon, especially if I lived anywhere with a shared wall, even if it was the daytime. I would instill the "inside" voice now, before he goes to Kindergarten. He will not be allowed to happily scream at school & not teaching him that ahead of time will make it hard for him to adjust. It's not doing anything to "crush his spirit", it's teaching him that there's a time & place to let it all out, and indoors is not that place. It's teaching him manners, impulse control, etc.

Good luck!

He needs to learn self restraint and should have learned it by now. You (sorry for this) are one of the mama's I would have avoided at any and all parks, restaurants and playgrounds. My children were taught early what is and is not accetable as far as screaming. He will be in nonstop trouble at school if he screams everything. It won't "crush" his spirit to be taught was is and is not acceptable as far as volume goes. Teach him about inside voice vs outside voice. Why does he need to scream? you might want to get his hearing checked to make sure he is not having a problem with that. And just a side note. You don't "ask" a child to do something when it is not their choice. Your new rule is no screaming in the house. period.

There is a thing called boundaries. He must learn what they are and that he has to conform to those.

There is such a thing as indoor voices and outdoor voices. He needs to be taught what that means and he will need consequences that are appropriate to help him understand how important and needed boundaries are. He cannot go to someplace that requires him to be quiet and he have no idea what that means and how to do it. If he was to go to church and they were having a quiet sermon and he decided to start banging toys and screeching obviously you would have to take him home and stay there.

Not only would you be cutting yourself off but he will suffer if he can't fit in with his peers. They are learning to be quiet and notice what is going on in their environment so they can do the same. Obviously you learned this as a child, you probably don't go to walmart and sing at the top of your lungs and dance around while shopping...lol.

It is not curbing his enthusiasm it is teaching him to pay attention and observe his environment. If you lived in the country and had 10 acres between you and the neighbors you would still want him to learn that inside is different than outside. Even in the car, the kids have to use indoor voices.

Our 4 yr. old his huge lungs and screams loudly. We stop the car, get out, leave him in it, and start having a good time and ignore him until he is calmed down. He wants to get out and play with us but he has to learn that screeching and yelling is not appropriate in the car. It can make the driver distracted and have an accident.

my sister also didn't want to "crush her son's spirit" by having him use an inside voice, and now his teachers are the ones who are having to deal with a child who is constantly screaming and shouting at the top of his lungs. He is constantly getting in trouble at school for it and has even been put on suspension for a day because he doesn't know how to use an inside voice--i would really suggest enforcing it with your son now and not waiting for someone else (aka his teachers and school administrators) to do it for you. He just turned 7 years old

No, you must teach him, that this is not acceptable.. Imagine if he does this at school!! Yikes..

You need to teach him all types of behaviors that are acceptable in our society..

The times for screaming and being loud are while playing outside and at proper times. Not early in the morning where he can wake the neighbors not late at night. Yes at a basketball game, no inside other buildings.

"Inside voices." "Bring down your sound."

I agree to go with the inside voice stuff. It is hard b/c they easily get excited and get loud and you'll have to do lots of reminding, but I think it's a good skill to have. Sometimes when we're outside, my daughter will just stop what she's doing and scream. Then she looks at me and makes some sort of "outside voice" comment. Even though she's being a stinker in this case, at least she's doing it appropriately! ;)

I think at 5 you can probably tell him, hey look, we live with neighbors really close, we need to respect each other and use quiet voices, etc. Some kids have a really hard time with the inside voice concept, but keep at it, even if takes him a while to get it!

Yes, I agree with the inside voice.
Upon reading this, the first time through, my first thought was, have you considered having his hearing tested, sometimes this is an indication of some hearing loss.
Also, how was his behavior in preschool?
It could be anything or it can be nothing but pure 5 year old delight.

He needs to use his indoor voice inside (house, church, stores, other buildings except for Chuck E Cheese) and he's really going to need it once he's in school.
Some kids are naturally loud, but others are not.
Teaching him some self control now will help him to get a long MUCH better at school and not being in trouble will make him happier in the long run.
There's a time and place for being loud - the sooner he learned the rules the better off he'll be.

As others already mentioned, inside voices are vital. He can completely grasp that at this age with you praising and thanking him for being such a good boy. This will not crush his spirit, he needs to learn what is appropriate. There are proper places to scream like your mom's yard in the country.

No, I don't think you are being unrealistic. That's why we have what's called "inside voices" and "outside voices". At 5 yo, he is plenty old to learn this. Good luck! The best way to instill this is to not punish for the screaming, but reward the quiet. As long as he doesn't raise his voice for x amount of time (be reasonable, you WANT him to succeed!) he gets a cookie, or a his favorite tv show, or computer time, etc...

It's called using an "indoor voice" and we insist they use it in the house.

Don't fret the "crushing spirit" thing. That is so post 80's shrink speak. It does NOT hurt a child to learn when and where certain behaviors are allowed. You can absolutely tell him when not to scream. For my kids it's the car, at home if I'm painting and I need to think, in public, whatever. It has not crushed their spirits to not be allowed to be so loud ALL the time. Firm up and don't feel bad.

Ha! We should get our five year olds together and have a competition for the loudest! Sometimes they're just loud.