Out of Control Screaming

Welcome to being the mother of a little boy. My oldest son is 6 and we are still trying to teach him to control his volume. I think it just comes with boy territory.

I recently read a great book called Love and Logic Parenting Magic: Birth to Age Six (or something close to that). www.loveandlogic.com. It is a fun read and has lots of good ideas. Even if it is a hearing issue, as mentioned by others, the ideas in the book could still be helpful and fun for you all.

Sherry H had a good idea about getting his hearing checked.If that is ok then when at home try putting him in his crib or bed or in a room with a gate up and tell put him in there each time he is loud,maybe he will realize that in order to be able to be in the room with everyone else that he cannot be loud.Sometimes when my baby gets upset and screams or is unruly I put him in his crib and make him stay in there for about 30 mins and usually by then he has quieted down and he had realized that it is punishment.And if my 22 month old can seperate nap time from being put in there from punishment then maybe your baby can too.

My older one did that at around that age, and there weren't any hearing problems. It's amazing it didn't CAUSE hearing problems, though, because he frequently hurt my and my husband's ears.

I think they just get so excited and that's how they express themselves at that age. My baby is also about 21 months, and he's starting it, too, especially when he gets "riled up".

Try to avoid places where it's likely to irritate people. (OK, I guess it can ALWAYS irritate people, but it's more acceptable in kid-friendly environments.) Gradually they'll learn what "Shhhhhhh" means. (I think when my oldest was 2, we would play a game "What sound does a lion make?" and "What sound does a lion make when he's in the bookstore?" )

They gradually grow out of it, (meaning they don't do it as often), but my oldest, almost 5, let loose an ear-piercing "happy shriek" in the tiled bathroom the other day
that had both grownups saying "Owwww! don't DO that!".

They like to hear their own voices!

Have you had his hearing checked? That would be the first thing to eliminate. Was he loud before the baby was born, or has this behavior only begun recently? If only happening since the baby was born (or thereafter), I would suspect it is part of an attention seeking sibling rivalry type behavior. Otherwise, it could just be that he is louder than some other kids and it's just the way he is and you must teach him to control it in public and during times of rest for the baby and others. I'm suspecting hearing loss, though and that would be the first thing to address. If it is hearing loss, it possibly is not permanent, so do not panic; just have it checked.

BTW, I'm mom to four, grandmom to ten, and have an educational and work background in speech therapy and nursing.

HA! Feelin' your pain.

Okay, first make sure the hearing's fine (which it probably is). But rule that out. Also, my nephew has Sensory Integration Disorder and his parents figured it out because he screams all the time. A trip to the pediatrician about both the hearing and the neurologic disorders would be my first step -- just to rule those things out.

Assuming this is a perfectly normal and healthy child, just gradually, gradually, gradually teach him about volume control.

"What? I can't understand you when you scream. Would you say that in a speaking voice?"

"Please, son, speak more softly."

"I love your 'sweet boy' voice. Would you use that?"

Temper tantrums and angry screaming would get similar -- I don't understand you when you are screaming. If he can't calm himself down. Simply pick him up, put him in his room and tell him that when he's ready to talk, you'll be waiting for him but that if he needs to raise his voice, he needs to stay in his room with the door shut. Yelling hurts your ears. Tell him you hope to see him soon talking in his indoor voice and walk out with the door closing behind you.

I was wondering if you thought about having his hearing checked? Sometimes kids talk loud because they have trouble hearing.
S.

In many prek classes they teach when to be quite and when you can be loud..one method we use at our school is we pretend to to blow a bubble and then we grab it in the air next we place it in our mouth...with a bubble in your mouth you can't talk. We reinforce inside voice and out side voice. It's a start with him that might help. If you use the outside voice to much we put a clothes pin next to the yellow light at that point use lose something fun and at the red light you get a cloud sticker next to your picture and now prize at the end of the day. Have tried this at home it took a little time but worked. Best of luck to you he is young and does like attention he'll get it they understand as long as you keep sticking to the same routine. Also Stacy has made a valid point I'd check the ears also to be safe. I wouldn't put the child in his crib, a crib is not a place to put for punishment it's to sleep in, I think most children can understand ssshhhh children learn to talk by what we say so just dropping a child into a bed is not a fix all and a bed shouldn't be used as punishment or you will have other issues about sleep at night. children can learn with out many methods that some feel is best like punishment. Communication is key even with little babies and every child at times has to have a time of day to let loose as well some mothers forget that since they've been adult too. long

You may want to have his hearing checked and have him evaluated by an O.T. to see if he has sensory issues. Good Luck! D. D

Hey A.,
Well, unfortunately - there is not alot you can do. At 21 months- they dont really understand the whole concept of why they need to be quiet.
Maybe he is being loud for attention- because he is a little jealous of the new baby. Or maybe he just likes being loud. My 4 year old son is extremely loud also. He has been since he was about 2. And we are constantly reminding him to use his inside voice when we are out (and at home)... And my husband and I are both very calm quiet people also. My kids are 21 months apart. My daughter is 2 1/2 -
What if you tried sleeping the baby in her room with a radio or some kind of background music on...that way she doesn't hear every little sound your son makes and you wont be so apranoid about him being so loud. That is what I have alwys done with both of my kids. They still take naps with a radio on. It just makes it easier for you as a mom, if you are not constantly trying to keep him quiet - just because the baby is sleeping. With a radio, it just makes sense - then your daughter gets used to hearing sound when she is sleeping. Don't worry- if that doesn't work in a few more months they will both be having nap at the same time.
With my 2 kids, I would give my baby a nap in the morning as usual and then in the afternoon - she would nap at the same time as my older son. Eventually - your baby will be down to only 1 nap a day and they will be on the same schedule together - eating, napping, bedtime, etc.

You could also try whispering to your son while your daughter is asleep. Then, he may whisper right along with you - like it is a game or something. Kids love to whisper. Well, I hope some of this helps you. Good luck.

K. -28, stay at home mom of 2, and in home day care provider

Sounds like he found his lungs!! My 2yr old does this and has for some time now, sreams and or screaches when he is playing. I've just been working with him on the difference between an inside and outside voice. It's slowly getting better and sometimes he will even imate me when I tell him to quiet down by putting his finger up to his mouth. And your littlest one will get used to all the different sounds and noises in your house and sleep through a train wreck, as long as you don't make your house sound proof while she is sleeping.
So, just try to teach him to use his inside voice when the baby is sleeping and that screaming is for outside. He'll get the hang of it!!

~S.