Question About Child Support Process

Hi B.!

I don't have a whole lot of advice, however wanted to let you know that you're not the only one. My husband and I receive child support through Florida from his ex-wife for their two boys (now 16 & 12). Florida is INCREDIBLY slow and dumb if you ask me. So it's not just you! Hang in there and good luck.

B.
(mother of 4 - two wonderful stepsons and 5 yr. old girl, 4 yr. old boy!)

Trust me, this takes time. They are in no hurry, especially going across state lines. DOn't give up. Call often. You'll get back child support too to cover what he has already missed. Child support will come straight out of his paycheck to you, shouldn't have to wait on a check from him, to cover the back support, you'll either get so much a month or now (at least in KY) you'll get his tax returns and any bonuses from work over $500 until the back support is paid. Personnally I don't think an attorney will make any difference, just a waist of money for you. It's pretty cut and dry, there is a formula to figuring how much $$ and so on. Just have all you papers ready. Past 3 yrs. of tax returns. Also, make sure he covers health and dental insurance, and any daycare.
I probably sound like I have taken a dad for a ride but actually the other way around. My husband found out he had a 3 yr. old son after we were married. He diefinatley got the ride. But that's how I know what you can get.
Good luck!!

yes hire an attourny i did and it was so worht it

Maybe you are just better off cutting your losses... I would not spend a lot of time and money on an attorney if this person wants nothing to do with their own child... that's just my opinion. Sounds like you have moved on and perhaps mentally and emotionally you would be better off not putting yourself through a trial of sorts. If it were me, and please take this with the love it is meant -- I would pull up my boot straps and move on. If they come around with help fine, but don't count on it and don't waste your time and energy. These years when your child/children is little are too precious to waste on draining legal matters. You can always manage a way to take care of yourselves. You are not alone. They need more love than money. That's just my take, so for what it is worth, it's an opinion... be well and I wish you the best!!!

B.,
Here are my suggestions and I don't know which one will work.

Call the District Attorneys Office for your judicial district and ask for the assistant district attorney that works child support enforcement cases. They may be able to help you navigate through the out of state process.

Call Legal Aid and find out if you meet the income requirements and if they work child support cases for single mothers.

If both of those options do not work, call your local Domestic Violence Shelter or Child Advocacy Center and ask the names of three of the best attorneys in town that work child support cases and will take a payment plan. They work with moms who are divorcing the man who harmed them or harmed their child. They know which attorneys will help.

Good luck!
S.

Here is an excerpt from http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/dss/cse/docs/csehandbook.pdf
"When one of the parties involved in a child supprt case lives in a state other than North Carolina, the case may be considered an interstate case. All states have adopted the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act (UIFSA) which makes the interstate case processing easier and more effective..." It continues on and on; check page 19. One last point, "To enforce a child support order in interstate cases, direct income withholding or registration of a foreign order may be used." I would personally go to NC Child Support and have them handle it, instead of trying to fight FL Child Support myself.

B.,
Child Support may be an issue you have to deal with for years to come. In my experience, I filed paperwork in 5 different states over the years in a attempt to collect back and current child support. My daughters a now 19 and 20 years old. I only started getting child support about a year ago. Boy, was he surprised when I had his government check garnished for it.
Bottom line is that you should call your Child Support Office at least once a month to make sure there are now updates. Schedule an appointment with them every 3 months or so to talk about your case and see if you need to supply them with any other information. Never stop calling them. My persistence paid off after years of trying.
Don't bother with a private attorney. They can't make the state of Florida work any faster than they want to work. Also, good luck to you and your family. It may be a long road, but just hang in there. It is worth it once you finally get what your child deserves.
W.

I work for the child support office. I can tell you that if you are dealing with two states, it is a very long process to establish child support. If you were to hire an attorney, you would be paying quite a bit for him/her to do the same work your caseworker is doing for you. My advise is for you to contact Florida and try to find his worker there. If a case has been opened then you need to find out which state is the collecting state, normally that is the state the order is in, if you have the order in your state or if the order is in FL. Stay in contact with both offices. Caseworkers are very overworked, so be patient with us! As far as how long you have, in my state, if the child is under the age of 4, child support goes back to the day of birth. And he should be ordered to provide health insurance. Also in this state, if you are on any type of state assistance, he will be ordered to pay that back to the state as well.

If you live in kannapolis I'd definately try legal aid of nc! It's in concord. They helped me with a judgement. But do it before you get married. I don't know if they help with child support but it's worth a phone call! They take a short application over the phone to see if u qualify.

I know when my daughter was born in nc, we weren't married and the state made daddy sign a paper saying he was legally and financially responsible for his baby. So it seems the state would take you seriously. Good luck!

You will probably have to get your daughter's father to take a paternity test - unless you were legally married at the time you became pregnant. Getting a paternity test from someone who does not want to be a father can take a long time. Other things to consider:

If he own's up to his responsibility he may want visitation. Can you trust him to take good care of the child during visitation?

Will he make a commitment or just come and go in and out of her life when it is convenient for him?

Is there any possibility that your fiance will want to adopt her once you are married?

Depending on the answers to these questions you may not want to fool with trying to get child support. You may want to make sure that he can't sue you for custody of this child at a later date when he decides it would be cool to be daddy.

I have had some friends who have fought for years for child support and never get anywhere when 10 -11 years later the father decides that he wouldn't have to be bothered with this if he had custody.

It would be nice if he would be the father that she needs, but he's not. Congratulations for making the decision to go to school. I know that this time in your life is very tough. Parenting is the hardest thing to do.

Years ago I used to be a domestic relations caseworker... as we all know, caseworkers are very overloaded so just remember that "the squeeky mouse gets the cheese". It won't fix the problem, but the more you call to get status updates, the more of a "regular" voice you will become and you will become a priority. You may not be at the top of the list for that caseworker but you will be moved up her task list. Also, try talking to the entire domestic relations/child support manager (your caseworkers manager) and ask her simple questions like how time frame and expectations questions. Hopefully other will give you some attorney referrals. As far as I can remember, the one being sued for support is the one who has to travel to the court of origination. So you should never have to trek to Florida. Good luck to you.

Forget him. Don't ever mention him to your child and deal with not having his support. Your child will learn to take his rejection personally and will cause her emotional damage.

Focus on your new husband and build a strong family with him. Maybe they will come to see him as their father. If your fiance has a problem with this then reconsider your relationship before it's too late.

Consider getting your relationship evaluated by a therapist before walking down the aisle. Make sure you share expectations about his role with the girls.

I know many people have said not to get an attorney, but I was a paralegal before staying home with my kids and if you want anything done right, get an attorney. I worked in Florida and North Carolina. We had a case while in florida where women would try to get child support, but until you had an attorney in the judge's face every day, it didn't happen. It may take a long time. At least if you have an attorney, you will have a voice in the presence of a judge and will make sure things are moving along. The judicial process is slow, but at least this way you also have someone to tell you honestly how things are going and not get dead answers from clerks at the Clerk of Court's office. Chances are that he has an attorney and that could slow things down for you if his attorney postpones things, etc. At least if you had your own attorney, things won't be so pushed back.