Preschoolers Kissing

Updated on July 03, 2010
A.B. asks from Mesa, AZ
4 answers

my name is A., my lil boy kaiden is in a wonderfull preschool and he has been kissed and has been kissing lil girls on there mouth and now asking about a girlfriend, a certain lil girl very adorable was caught kissing him the other day, i dont know what to say anymore to him to make him uderstand its wrong. pls help me

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

It's not exactly wrong.

What happens is this:

Toddlers & Babies are the world's BEST mimics. It's how they learn language, it's how they learn to walk, it's how they learn EVERYTHING.

They very naturally copy each and every thing the see around them. So when they see positive relationships... they model those right along with the negative ones.

((There's a great cartoon -Calvin & Hobbes- where Suzi & Calvin play "house". In Discussing the "rules" of the game Suzi explains it this way:

Susie: Hey Calvin, you want to play “House”?
Calvin I don’t know. How do you play?
Susie: Okay, first you come home from work.
Then I come home from work.
We’ll gripe about our jobs, and then
we’ll argue over whose turn it is to
microwave dinner. ))

Toddlers HOPEFULLY see something a little different from the above. They see their parents being kind to each other, holding hands, kisses. So they act out those scenarios on their own, right along with ABC's and when to say please, how to talk on the phone, how to drive a car, or go shopping, or taking care of babies. When they only have dolls, the dolls act it out. When they have "real life" dolls... they get the "dolls" (aka other kids) to act it out.

So I would tread gently with mimicking loving behavior. As in telling him how WONDERFUL it is that he wants to show people he cares for them, but that an even better way would be _________, or _________, or _______. Opposed to that loving behavior is "wrong". (Because that is REALLY confusing). Instead, that there are different ways to show care, and they are appropriate in different scenarios. The act some of them out. Including silly ones, like with a dog / frog/ etc., right along with family, friends, teachers, strangers.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

It is normal at this age, and not wrong. It would be a problem if he was 12 and doing this, but not pre-school aged.

3 moms found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Dallas on

My son did this behind the bookshelf in kindergarten, a little girl kissed him. And the teacher and I just explained to him that we don't kiss anyone at school. They just see others do it and don't think anything different from it, just have to explain simple little things. Don't have to be go into much detail until they start asking more questions. My son is now 7 and learning stuff way to fast.
I don't remember wanting to ever kiss yucky boys at such a young age. :-}

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S.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Not wrong at all. Very normal for the age-group, actually, since mimicking adults is part of their natural development. If the preschool has a rule about it, I'd let them handle it however they see fit (as I'm sure it's had to be addressed before). But making a big deal out of it will only confuse him and could possibly encourage further smooch-fests.

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