Playing "Getting Married'

I think you react just perfect!
From now one I will start asking what she thinks her prince should be like?
Would she rather a prince that was handsome or one that was brave? Smart or funny? and why? What she thinks about the other kind of princes like Pocahontas and the Princes and the frog?
Real prince do exist, I married one, I just have to kiss a couple of frogs before I found him, lol.
About the kissing, you did perfect, tell her that it is a fun game, just skip the kissing because she all the germs and hope that she won't ask why you kiss dad, lol.
EDIT: I just read Julie approach for the kiss part and I think she had a great point, I would go with her advice too.

Hi Vicky I have a 4 year oldin my dayucare who is some much ls your daughter, what her mom and I tell her is certain things are for mommy's and daddy's only, and kissing is one of those things, and we taugfht her the difference between pretend and real, for example she is not really married to another one of my daycare kids who is now 4 years older than her, like my husband and I live in the same house and we are a mommy and a daddy, She totally got it and understood, and her child life faith was not damanged in any way. Hope this helped. The germ things was cute and i'm sure you had to think quick on your feet, but I believe always tell our children the truth, if we make things up and or lie, they learn the truth at some point. so to keep the trust and communication open. I know this to be true, our kids are 26, 23 and 21` and still come to us with the same trust as when they were kids, different questions and different situations, but same trust. J.

I recall going through so many stages growing up, some magical, some completely impractical in the real-world sense of it. My mom, and eventually my step-dad, made a point of telling me my dreams were never going to happen. It was dispiriting and I never felt supported by them.

As it turned out, real life did gradually make its real demands as I matured, and I had no problem moving from impractical fantasy to achievable dream.

I delight in engaging my 4.5 grandson's fantasies, which are concrete at his age, and focused on discerning between good and evil, right and wrong, power and weakness, and other totally age-appropriate concepts. He's really into guns and weapons lately, and even though I'm a pacifistic person, I know that he is encountering a normal stage of inquiry, and I've seen dozens of little boys move smoothly past the "gun and superhero" stage to non-violent adulthood.

Likewise, little girls tend toward games that explore relationship, connection, and nurturing. Their youthful games reveal how much they have yet to learn. It's normal, and unless you make a huge issue of it, your daughter will move quite normally to her next, more nuanced, stage of development. If she sees good relationships modeled by the people she admires the most, she will get there quite naturally.

You might teach her how to "air kiss," or ask that she aim for the cheek.

I agree with moms who say it can be perfectly normal and innocent behavior. However, I would make a point to mention it to the teacher, and possibly the parent of the other child involved.

I say this because I work as a teacher, and we monitor this kind of play carefully. I had one child who wanted to plant "movie star" kisses on the girls in the class. Apparently, his father had let him watch some rated R films, and he was trying to get on top of the girls and kiss them passionately... it was inappropriate play, and we would redirect this student when he wanted to play this game.

Similarly, in another school, we had two girls want to play "husband and wife" and that was fine, but they started to go hide in corners and under blankets, and look very embarrassed if a teacher came to check in with them... we had to stop that, too, because they were doing a lot of mouth kissing and touching. Children observe a lot of the life around them, and sometimes they see romantic gestures from adults, and they want to imitate them. This, in itself, is not a problem. But it does need to be monitored.

So, I would mention it to the teacher, and also talk to your daughter and let her know it's great that she can play getting married, but (like you already said) we don't really kiss friends on the mouth at school, because it can spread germs. Kids naturally want to hug and kiss each other, and that is very sweet and innocent, most of the time. In my last school, I would tell the kids that they can kiss on the cheek, and only if the other child said it was okay. No mouth kisses. And, of course, hugs are usually fine, unless too rough or something.

If kids like playing marriage, I also encourage them to play it with dolls, and the dolls can kiss, if they want to. Your daughter will naturally keep the fantasy alive inside of her, but she will also need boundaries, even at this young age. That's just my opinion, from being a mom and a teacher.

Best wishes!!!

Girls outgrow the princess thing. I wouldn't worry about her expecting a prince past the age of 6. As far as the kissing, you could tell her what you told her about the germs but also show her how to "air kiss" instead. My sister and I played getting married with all of the neighbor kids when we were little and we turned out just fine. :)

That's perfectly normal 4 year old behavior! They copy what they see grown ups doing, and when grown ups get married -they kiss! I remember kissing boys when playing house and getting married, etc. in kindergarten. Just keep reiterating to her that girls and women are truly happy when they find THEMSELVES and develop their minds and lives and get a great education before they find Prince Charming ;-)

When my son was that age, he thought a kiss meant you were married. It turned into a game (but at least he didn't play it with other kids). He'd have his stuffed elephant kiss his stuffed octopus. Then he'd say "Now we're married! Just think what the babies will look like!". Picturing an octopus with an elephant trunk would have him laughing till he fell over.

I hear you. My daughter is the same way only she's sure she's going to marry her younger brother : ) I mostly just try to point out in joking ways how silly the stories are ("wait, you're going to get married? You haven't even had dinner together? Don't you want to find out his favorite color? What he likes to do for fun?") I hope I'm planting the seed for her to know that these stories are silly, and I think that in the back of her mind she does know, but it's fun nonetheless.

As for the kissing, I wouldn't worry too much. If it really freaks you out, have them kiss on the cheek, but I bet this part will pass very quickly.

oh jeez I remember playing kissing games as a small child.. it's completely harmless and she will probably tire of it after awhile.. They like to act grown up so they do as they see.. I grew up a totally normal girl, didn't go around kissing on everyone when I got older.. I knew there was a difference from pretend and real kisses.. I wouldn't freak out.. think it's completely normal.. Wouldn't want to make her think that kissing is a completely bad and gross thing and something to be ashamed of.

Im sorry I had to laugh when I read this. As everyone has said it is NORMAL

Let me tell you a little secret (ok it isn't a secret anymore lol) my youngest was in VPK (Pre K) 2 yrs ago and had a "BOY FRIEND" - we had her change it to BOYBUDDY b/c daddy didn't like the BF word LOL. Well my daughter S and her BoyBuddy J were the bestest of friends it was adorable. They would actually hold hands in line, at lunch, etc... Well for Valentine's Day J gave S a jewlery set ( the stretchy heart type sets you get at the toy store) and she wore it EVERY WHERE. We had to set up Playdates and even took them to a school carnival b/c they were BestBuddies it was cute :) Now when J's little brother had a Bday we were invited and while the kids were running around J & S were in the living room with us adults and J stood infront of S and said "give me your hand" and he put a toy ring on her ring finger. We all about died when S said "put it on my married finger silly" and he did...they were 4 years old and they told us they were going to get married when they growed up. His dad & my husband both started to laugh. This went on for a YEAR. Well 2 years later they are still Bestest Buddies but they don't want to get married b/c Bestest Buddies are Best lol

As for the kissing part - yep they kissed one time and both J's mom & I said not on the lips until you are OLDER, right now just on the cheeks and it worked.

I think your response to the kiss was good. My daughter is 4 1/2 & we talk about germs (they talk about it at school too) and how they are invisible. So, she understands when I tell her she shouldn't do something because it will spread germs, get people sick, etc. She's had a few "boy friends" but we haven't heard about any kissing yet!!

I also like others' idea about explaining that kissing on the lips is for when you are older / married.