Preschooler Cries During School Performances

My son is like that except he would fall apart whether we are there or not. I know because although he practiced telling jokes for the [now] 'campers only' talent show this summer, he couldn't bring himself to actually perform. So mine is destined for Tech Crew. Someone's gotta work the lights!

Awwww...I'm laughing and feeling your pain at the same time. They're such cute little irrational messes at that age, aren't they? Now that he's a bit older, maybe he'll be ready to see you sitting the audience and will hold it together. Also is it possible for him to spend some time with you in your seat before they have to go back stage and get ready? Maybe that will help calm his excitement and emotions a bit. That is really just too sweet though, isn't it?

FWIW, my oldest (now 14) didn't participate AT ALL in his little daycare/pre-school assemblies when he was 2 and 3. He'd practice, get dressed up, we'd go, and then he would refuse to even go back stage or would get back stage and refuse to come out LOL. When he was 4 he finally participated by going on the stage but then would stand there with his arms crossed, looking sulky and sad. It was pitiful!

Whatever happens, enjoy the event even if he falls apart - time flies, it really does!

Bless him. He is not ready to perform in front of you at school. I would speak to the teacher days before the perfomance and explain that if your son is not comfortable on stage on the "big day", then you will have him sit with you.

As a preschool teacher I actually told all of my students that they had to participate in all the practices, but then, it would be great if they did perform on the show day, and perfectly fine if they did not. I took lots of pictures at the dress rehersal, so all the families would have show pictures whatever happpened. I let parents know by newsletter that my policy was that no child should ever have to cry on stage. Yes, I did offer to sit with children on stage. Some found that just enough help, some decided to sit with their parents. Once, a brave Mom got up on stage and sat with her son. About one child each year had some fear and sat with Mom, enjoying the show from the seats. It's interesting to note that this never back-fired on the children. They went on to participate in other school events in that year or the next year. And they learned to trust that adults who care for them would never expect them to stay on stage when they were communicating that they were not ready. I wish you and your son many happy performances.

This is so common.
Its really overwhelming for little ones at performances.
And when he sees you there, his heart strings gets pulled, he wants to be by cozy Mommy.
The Teacher should be able to, redirect him, they are so used to this. They do this every year with the little kids.
Sure you can talk to him or hide so he can't see you, but then he will think you didn't show up to see him. And that will be "sad" for him.
Its just a lot of emotions for them. They know their performance is a big deal and it is exciting at the same time.
Even the parents sometimes cry seeing their little child up there on a stage. It is full of emotions for them too.

Its okay.
When he's older he will grow out of it.
One day they won't even bat an eyelash over it.

Just hide - figure it out I am sure the teacher can/will help. My son did this too btw and I simply stood near the area they were performing and life was good.

Really, just explain to him how things will play out: we will come & watch you do what you've been practicing all this time, we live to watch your class sing, etc., then we will hug you and tell you how great it was.
He might still cry. Who knows? But these will be hilarious stories for later. Get it on video! Lol
Good luck!

You sure have my empathy. I think one of my worst parenting moments was watching my then-4 year old hide his head in his lap for the entire nursery Christmas show. There were other issues going on at the time and this just seemed to confirm for me some concerns I had (which later turned out to be unfounded - hell, he was just an overwhelmed 4-year old). It seemed like all the other kids were participating and only mine was freaking out.

In any case, he did a little better in the June show - not necessarily singing, but not hiding his face either. The next year, when he was 5 and in Pre-K, he completely participated in multiple holiday shows with no signs of stage fright.

It's most likely just a maturity issue. It will pass.

It may be stage fright. He's fine when you are not there because the only people important to him are not there so he feels he doesn't have to impress strangers.

I think that's pretty normal. My daughter used to do the same thing when she was in preschool. She would actually see us and refuse to get ON the stage. She would freak out and her teacher was trying so hard to make her happy and would even sit with her, but nope, she wouldn't stop crying. Now I can't get her off a stage, lol! All she does is sing and dance (she is 7 now). He will grow out of it. It's cute :)

Try talking to him. Just reassure him that he can see you agter his performance. Some kids do cry. They are still very young.

Maybe talk to him about it for a few days before, saying how excited you are that you will be in the audience and that you will get to see him up on stage. Get him really excited about it, too. Also, on the day of, can you come to school early and help him get ready for the performance, or even just sit with him for awhile? Maybe if he has "mommy time" before the performance, he won't be upset that he can't sit with you during it.

They put my daughter stage front for her two year old preschool play. She loved to sing and be a part of all that was happening. So on the big day, one look at me and she was crying the entire time. I felt so bad - now I laugh at it because it was so cute.

The next year, she was fine. Just give it some time. Hope you took photos.