PPD And Being a Stay at Home Mom

Good news, he's not too young for play groups! Lots of people start play groups by 2 months old. Where are you in town? I'd love to get together at the park or something. Also, are you breastfeeding? Not only does it do A LOT for PPD, but you could join me at BFing support groups at the hospital (even if you didn't deliver there).
Feel free to PM me if you want to get together in the Broad Ripple area.

Like Julie said before, MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) is a wonderful program for moms and expecting mothers! You don't have to have a preschooler to join. You can join when you are pregnant, all the way up until they are 6 years old. They provide child care while the moms have time with the others. My group takes turns (depending on what discussion group you are in) bringing breakfast. Then we have a speaker of a topic, then we break into our discussion groups to talk about them. The topics can be financial planning, nutrition, communication in your marriage, etc. They usually get together twice a month, just for a couple of hours, but it's great to get together with other moms, who most of the time share your worries or concerns. It's a great support group! I've met some great friends along the way! If you are on the eastside of Indianapolis, there are MOPS groups at Park Chapel Christian Church in Greenfield, IN; Brookville Road Community Church in New Palestine, IN; and Indian Creek Christian Church in Indianapolis, IN.

A.,

I totally understand where you're coming from. I moved to Fort Wayne when I was pregnant and haven't really made any friends since I've moved here. I am also a SAHM. I haven't been diagnoses with PPD, but I know what it's like to feel alone. Most days I feel like all my friends live in my computer. I also tried to join a playgroup, but their schedule didn't work with a new baby (My daughter was born on 2-14-07.) My fiancee only works weekends, but he also works 12 hour shifts. I don't know how far away you are from Ft. Wayne, but I'd love to get toghether with you. Our kids are about the same age and it sounds like we're in pretty much the same boat. My email is ____@____.com or you can private message me on here. I really look forward to hearing from you soon!!!!!

Shaun

Will you ever return to work? When I was out for 8 weeks I had PPD, but getting back into the workforce helped.Good luck!

It's a lonely world being a stay-at-home mom. My husband works 10 hour days on a constantly evolving resturant schedule. The only time I seem to get out of the house is when I have to run errands...and that doesn't count as "me" time, lol. I've never really felt comfortable with the "moms groups" because I've never been much of a girly-girl. I have one close female friend...the rest are guys. (The whole make up-hair-clothes things just never appealed to me, I prefer to get my hands dirty as opposed to getting a manicure) ANYWAYS....You're not alone A., no matter how much it may feel that way. Talk to hubby and tell him that you HAVE to get out of the house at least once a week without the baby and without having errands to run. Go for a walk in the park, window shopping at the mall, or just find a quiet space in the library or outside somewhere to curl up and read a book. Even just an hour or so of "me" time on a regular basis can help a lot.

hi A.! i just had my second baby on 2/22/07. i also have a son who will be 3 in a month. i suffered from ppd after my son was born but it was worse after this second baby. i am a sahm also. my toddler is very jealous of the baby which has made it harder. my doctor had to increase my dose of antideppresants and it has helped so be sure to talk to you doctor. also, getting involved in a moms group will help. just be sure to get out of the house. staying in the house will make it worse. talk a walk, go to the library, barnes and noble, go to the park anything you can do to get out of the house. i see you're in chandler. kerasotes theater on the west side of evansville has a magic movie club on tuesdays for moms and dads only. you can see new movies and take your kids and noone will be upset if they cry b/c everyone is there for the same reason. go to their website for more details but it's great. they also have free kid movies in the summer. the only mops group that i know of in eville is at the cathedral on first ave. they took the summer off but i'm starting in august when they start up again. mops is great. also, be sure to get out of house for "me" time at least once a week. you need a break from the baby or things get too overwhelming. it will make life better for everyone. good luck. let me know if i can help.

Hi A.,

I just wanted to say that MANY mothers can relate to how you're feeling. You're NOT alone. I know it can seem lonely, but you need to get out and meet other mothers in the same boat. I would definitely look into playgroups. Your baby can grow up with the other children. At first, you get to just be around the other mothers, but then your playgroup is already set up once your son is ready.

How long have you been on the antidepressant. Antidepressants can take 4 weeks to have their full effect. If it has been longer than 4 weeks, I would talk to your doctor and tell them it doesn't seem to be working. There are others they can try or maybe give you a higher dose.

Good luck. It can be a long process, but you will feel better little by little. I hope you start feeling better soon.

J.

Give the antidepressants time to work, and talk to us. If after about a month-six weeks the meds don't seem to work, ask for a new one. It took me 3 but I found one that does wonders for me. Don't keep to yourself--reach out. LOTS of us are here to keep in touch with!

try to find an online moms group to get involved in. Its help a lttle. gets me out of the house. In the moms group I am in we have things that we do with it being summer we go to the zoo together because most of the moms have a zoo pass we have playdates sometimes before lunch sometimes after lunch and sometimes we serve lunch when we serve lunch everyone that shows up participates and bring something.If you need help finding one in your area let me know I can help.

J.

I don't think I have PPD but I know how you feel with not having anyone. My husband works in retail and I am at home with my kids all day everyday. The only time I get out is to go to the grocery store. You are a little far from me but if you ever need anything feel free to email me, ____@____.com. I am a mom of 3, I have 2 girls ages 5 & 7 and a 9 mo old boy. I would love to talk more if you need a friend, b/c I sure do.

What about checking out a local moms club. Alot of those playgroups for the little ones aren't so much for the babies but for the moms!! You can get quite alot of support from them. There's momsclub.org and mops.org ( I think on the second one). Good luck!!

Hey A.,

I too struggled with PPD and it was the HARDEST thing I have ever been through. You have no energy to go out, let alone put forth the effort to meet or hang out with other moms you have never met. My advice is take each day at a time. You say that you struggle with "PPD Badly," since that is a relative term I don't know what that means for you; but if you have days that you can barely get out of bed, or even take a shower, then make little goals during the day. If you are more functional, then take walks around your neighborhood/mall, or errands. Make plans to meet up with family on available days.
Continue to make connections on-line, not only here but at babycenter.com. They have different boards that you can connect with other moms. They even have a message board for moms who had their babies in the same month. So I'm sure they can add support too.

Do ask your fiance to watch the baby, while you go get something to eat, or walk around the mall. Make some time for yourself, even if that only means during nap times.

As for your PPD, the ONLY thing that got me through it was anti-depressants. That's not to say that it is for everyone, but for my case I needed them. My daughter just turned one, and I am slowly coming off of them. PPD is a chemical imbalance that is evidenced by your behavior. I had huge support from my mom, husband, and friends. It's a scary time because of the number of transitions you are making, but motherhood is amazing, and PPD does get better! Praise God for that! IF you need any other help with PPD just write me, I not only suffered from it, but I'm also a mental health counselor, so I counsel women who struggle too. (that sounded like a commerical! :) ) anyways, A. continue doing the best that you can. Continue to reach out, and your efforts will be rewarded.

blessings,
P.

I completely feel for you, A.. When I first had my two kids(15 months apart), my husband worked 12 hour days also. I was a bartender before I got pregnant, so I always had a ton of friends, but after I had my first baby all of those friends totally disappeared from my life since I didn't party with them anymore. I felt totally alone. The only family I have around here is my mom, but she has two young kids of her own, so it's not like she's available to help or come over if I really needed some company. I think one of the hardest parts is that not only do you feel totally isolated, but you're also all of a sudden thrown into this new role of being a mother. It's hard to care for a baby when you feel unhappy yourself. But, one thing that really helped me get out of the rut I fell into was I focused on what was good in my life and tried my best to embrace motherhood. If you're able to stay home in this day and age, it's a privilege. Although it can be lonely, it's still a privilege. I finally got to the point where I looked at those times as times to focus on raising my children because those first few years are so short, and after they're in school I knew I'd have more time to focus on myself. I also joined a playgroup. Mops is a wonderful program to get into. It's two hours, twice a month, and they have really great people there who watch your kids while you're in the meetings so you can have some "mom time". You can find groups on the internet. The one I'm involved in is at Emmanuel Community Church off of US 24. I always feel very inspired when I'm at mops meetings because you have time to connect with other mothers, and they have great speakers who come in. I know it can be hard, but hang in there. If you can get involved in a group, it will really help, plus it's a great way to make some friends in the area. I also used to take my kids to story times at libraries or at Barnes and Noble. Even children as young as yours have a designated story time. Another thing that I did that really helped is I joined a gym. It gave me some time to myself and it really helped me to feel happier because it relieved a lot of stress. There's a couple of Lady Fitness gyms in Fort Wayne where I joined and was able to meet some other ladies. Remember that only YOU can take the steps to create some friendships and activities in your life. Embrace it and get yourself out there. There are MANY MANY mothers in Fort Wayne who stay at home. As far as the anti depressants go, they're not going to help unless you make some changes in your own life to create some happiness. Don't forget that anti depressants aren't "happiness in a pill". They're only there to help, not cure. Man, I remember those days so well. Have faith though, it will work out!! Don't forget to look into mops if you're interested. It's awesome!!