Potty Training Help - Dayton, OR

Are you feeling stressed out about it? That is probably the bigest problem right there. If the deadline is making you stressed you need to forget about it. stress is the number one reasons kis don't learn as fast. If she makes a mistake you gotta be okay with it and supportive. And you go nutso happy when she does go potty the right way.

I've potty trained several kids and love doing it (dsy care). It took me a while to perfect my method but I look forward to potty training my next two kids.

I cannot stress this enough: the more you make an issue out of this the harder this will be! Pottying and eating are two of the very few things that toddler have some sort of control over and if you choose to make either of these a power struggle, they will give you a "run for your money" so to speak.
Rather than have her sit on the potty all day and make this a big thing, put her in pull-ups (preferably the cloth kind that look more like undies) and just gently remind her to use the potty in regular intervals. Also let her know that it is not a big deal if she has "an accident" and to just tell you promptly.
As for preschool - she will probably just choose to wait with BM's until she get's home (unless it full time, then of course it is an issue). But talk to them! Good pre-schools should offer you support during the transition, that that includes cleaning up after an occasional accident.

T.,

She sounds like my son when we were potty training him. He finally got it all down when he was roughly 4 1/2.

One night I sat down with him at dinner and asked him if there was anything about going potty that scared him. He nodded shyly like he thought he'd get in trouble. After more questions I learned that there were monsters in our toilet that were trying to get him/his poop. After dinner we set up a step to the toilet and let him squat on the seat. When the splashes stopped hitting his bare butt the poop in the pants disappeared.

Try talking with her and see if you have similar monsters in your toilet.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

I completely agree with Ina G. Give her control and she will do it when she is ready. Trust me-- I've been there, tried to control my son's behavior, and now he still has potty issues and he's 7 (as a result of withholding poop too much when he was younger.) Interesting, btw, that you chose the term "anal retentive." lol

Good luck!

One thing I've learned is that not all kids are ready to potty train at the same time. If your daughter is ready then a little puch is fine, but if she's not, then it's only going to upset both of you. I'm not sure if this is much help or not, but we had the exact same issue with our son right hwen he turned 3. I got so tired of the withholding and poopy accidents that I let him have pullups to poop in. He had to sit on hte potty first, get his pee out, then get into the pullup to poop. As time went on, he took longer and longer to poop - I think he was using it an an excuse to play with all the fun stuff in the bathroom. Too much mischief, too much stress. When he was 3.5, we did a countdown, had a little party, and took the pullups away (at night too, but that's whole other saga.) He wasn't happy, he held his poop in, he cried, but he only messed his pants once because he had learned that we keep our underpants clean and dry. We offered lots of praise and rewards, lots of hand-holding, lots of encouragement. It took about 10 days of potty-time screaming for him to make the switch in his head. I so badly wanted to just give him a pullup so that he'd stop crying, but I knew it would start the whole process over again. Be strong!

my suggestion is to back off and forget your deadline! She is peeing in the potty fine and can obviously hold poop until she gets home, so she is good to go.

Explain to her that she can either go poop in the potty or in a diaper, her choice, but in her undies in NOT okay. If she prefers the diaper, then let her tell you when she needs to go... put on a diaper and let her do her business in a way she feels safe. This is still training her to have control over her bowels, to recognize the need to go, and to go in an appropriate spot. One day, she will get sick of all the poopy diapers and will just announce to you that from now on she will only go in the potty.

As long as you try to force her, she will continue to show you that you CANNOT force poop!